Light in the Storm

I didn’t get a chance to see who was there with Nick blocking me, but Nick didn’t waste any time asking questions.

“What are you doing here?” he snapped, his voice hostile. I blinked in surprise and stood, my eyes immediately settling on the figure from over Nick’s shoulder.

“What are you doing here?” Josh countered, his eyes wide with anger. That’s when I remembered what happened: Josh told the class what Nick and I did and it was probably around the whole school by now. It didn’t seem like hours ago; I had completely forgot about it.

And I had also forgotten that no one knew of Nick’s living arrangements.

“It’s none of your business why I’m here,” Nick quickly retorted. I could see his muscles tense. “But you have some nerve coming over here after what you did.”

I could see Josh gulp.

“You-you told him?” he asked in disbelief, deciding to focus his gaze on me. I nodded, crossing my arms nervously.

“She had every right to tell me,” Nick muttered. I glanced at the side of his face, inhaling deeply. He was angry.

“Well I’m not the one screwing around with her!” Josh grumbled, his gaze shifting back over to Nick for only a second. Nick wasn’t a big guy. He was a little more than average height, slender for the most part. He had definite muscle, but he wasn’t some meat head. The only problem was that, when Nick was angry, Nick was strong. And when Nick was strong… I hadn’t really witnessed him hurting anyone in human form, but I knew there’d be no problem concerning his win.

“Since when is it okay for you to snoop around in other people’s business?” Nick asked, his voice a little softer. I guess he knew I didn’t want anything to happen to Josh, even though I hated him right now. Nick only wanted to protect me.

“Since when is it okay for you to take advantage of her?” Josh spat back. I could see Nick’s face change, his eyes becoming blank as he stared at Josh. That had to be the only weakness Nick had: me. If there was anything in Nick’s head that led him to believe I didn’t want what we had did, he’d believe it.

“Would you just stop? This is none of your business,” I spoke suddenly, shifting my weight. I stepped to Nick’s side, lingering as close as I could without being clingy.

“It is my business because you’re my friend,” Josh protested, his foot stomping like a child. I laughed dryly.

“So now I’m your friend?”

“What?” he breathed, confusion sweeping over his face.

“I wasn’t your friend when you found out I was dating Nick. You stopped talking to me when you decided to be a jealous idiot. Since when do you get to jump back in my life, snoop around in my business, and then try to speak for me?” He opened his mouth to speak but I quickly cut him off, my anger rising. “Since when is it okay for you to tell Nick that he took advantage of me? You don’t know what happened. In fact, I practically threw myself at him and he still tried to keep his head on. You though… if I even remotely liked you, you’re the one who would’ve took advantage of me.”

I took an angry step forward, my eyes settling on him as he flinched. His mouth opened again, quickly shutting when my glare stayed in tact.

“And since when is it okay for you to come over here after what you did?”

“I didn’t think it was that bad!” he tried to defend, but his voice was weak.

“You didn’t?” I whispered, everything around almost silent. I noticed that the wind had picked up, the gloomy sky looking darker than it had earlier. I was getting a headache. “You don’t think I care about you permanently embarrassing me?”

“If you love him so damn much than why are you embarrassed about this?” he shouted, anger in his voice. “All you ever talk about is Nick this, Nick that; Nick did this for me because he’s so sweet, Nick said this because he’s so adorable; blah, blah, blah! Maybe Anna cares, but I don’t!”

“You think I care?” I yelled back, trying my best to keep calm. I didn’t need this added stress. It was useless. “I’m not embarrassed by Nick you idiot! I’m embarrassed because everyone knows my private business, because you’re being a little brat about all this. And if you don’t like what I talk about then get away from me. I never asked you to stick around!”

“But I like you!” he shouted, his voice so loud that it echoed through the trees. I didn’t know why but I was surprised to hear it. I knew how Josh felt about me and at first, I felt bad. But now… now I didn’t care.

Taking a step forward, I clenched my jaw and tried to breath, my heart pounding against my rib cage. I knew Nick was still behind me, watching cautiously as we continued our fight. Josh spoke first.

“I like you a lot.”

For a second, I felt guilty. But then I remembered that I didn’t care. He was a selfish jerk and that’s not who I wanted to be around.

“You’re either my friend or you’re nothing,” I said lowly, my voice hard, detached. “I don’t like you, I never liked you, and I never will so you better get over yourself and move on.”

I didn’t mean for my voice to sound so rude, for my words to make even myself cringe, but this was the only way for him to leave me alone. I caught sight of his expression, his face pale and broken. It looked like he was going to cry.

“So you’re going to pick some freak?” he spat suddenly, catching me off guard. I stared at him in confusion, knitting my eyebrows together. The wind nipped at my face and it felt like it was cutting me. I inhaled deeply and shook my head, unable to speak. But I did anyway.

“What are you talking about?”

“Nick’s a freak.”

I turned my head out of reflex, my eyes settling on Nick’s unfazed form. But Josh’s words hurt me.

“Nick is not a freak,” I growled, my hands clenching into fists by my side. I was never a violent person but Josh was changing that quickly. Very quickly.

“You think I didn’t just see what happened?” he laughed dryly, his eyes narrowing. I gulped. “I don’t even know how, but I saw some dog on top of you and all of a sudden it was Nick. Now you explain to me how he’s not a freak, Lonnie.” I could feel my whole body go weak, my face going pale. He wasn’t supposed to know. Josh of all people wasn’t supposed to know. “You can’t, can you?” he whispered, taking a step closer. “You can’t explain to me how the hell that happened because you know it’s not normal.”

I could feel it again. I felt my lungs locking up and my head began to swim. I couldn’t breathe. My eyes took in my surroundings but I couldn’t do anything and I began to panic.

“You’re dating a freak,” Josh continued, mistaking my silence. I couldn’t even swallow. “Lonnie, answer me.” I could feel his hand grip my limp arm but all I could do was stare. And then I heard Nick’s voice, full of alert and concern.

“Don’t touch her,” he snapped, his body suddenly next to mine. Josh dropped his hand and the spot on my arm was immediately replaced by Nick’s. He spun me carefully, his soft features coming into view; his chocolate eyes, his thin eyebrows, his full lips, his thick curls.

But it wasn’t just Josh’s words that got me panicked. It was… something else. I could feel something else around, the cold wind trapping up my breath. My eyes suddenly fell closed, my heart pounding even harder against my chest, and I saw my nightmare. I was standing in a field, alone. Nick was… gone. It was so simple, but it was so terrifying; my worst nightmare.

I gasped for air.

“Lonnie,” Nick whispered urgently, his hands suddenly at my face. “Lonnie, listen to me; open your eyes.” He knew what was happening, at least somewhat. My breath suddenly flew back to me at a rapid pace, making me choke and cough. I tried to get my breathing even but it seemed impossible, my body shaking raggedly. “Lonnie. Beautiful, open your eyes. Please,” he begged softly, one of his warm hands sliding down to squeeze my arm, to let me know he had me. “I’m right here. You have to look at me.”

He knew I just needed to see him, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t focus. All I could see was blackness; the dark field, the clouded sky, and a black cloud that seemed to swallow me up. There was no Nick. No Nick.

I wanted to cry.

I could feel tears sting my closed eyes, a pain in my chest stabbing at me like a knife. Just the thought of Nick disappearing made me crazy. It couldn’t happen. I wouldn’t be able to take it.

“Is she okay?” Josh’s frantic voice suddenly sounded, but it was muffled compared to Nick’s. He ignored the question, his thumb rubbing against my cheek gently.

“Can you hear me?” he asked, his voice low and waiting. I swallowed, squeezing my eyes tighter. I could see a face, a dim face, but I could see one. Lucas. His frail lips were twisted into a dangerous smile, his eyes bright in the thick cloud of smoke. It was like a dream playing out before me… and I wasn’t even asleep.

“If you can hear me, you have to know that you’re awake. You can open your eyes,” he continued, trying his best not to panic. But I couldn’t.

My mind began to flash, bright lights filling my eyes. It was like a movie, the way the scenes changed and flashed slowly. I could see people: dad, Eve, Anna, Josh, Agatha. Joe, Kevin, Denise, even Paul… and they were all sick. They were pale and weak, fragile. I could feel my body shake uncontrollably, my head ducking down to try to rid my vision of all the bright lights. Everything seemed so dark, so black; holding no natural light. Another flash and my focus was now on myself. I looked fragile, like everyone else had, but it was worse. I looked lifeless, broken. Lucas emerged from the smoke, his body twitching like it was some glitch in the graphics of a game. He looked ageless, powerful. The black cloud was not smoke anymore, not a place for him to conceal his identity, but a pedestal. It made me sick.

“Lonnie,” Nick’s soft voice whispered, but I wasn’t sure where it was coming from. It sounded again, more of an echo, and my focus was spun around yet again. I was dizzy. “Lonnie.” I could hear a cough, the sounds of chains rattling following. There was a yell of frustration and I recognized the melodic tone.

It was dark and hazy, my mind blurring up as I felt my whole body growing weaker. But I couldn’t stop this dream, this nightmare. It was like I couldn’t wake up because I wasn’t sleeping. I was stuck until it decided to stop. When I focused on Nick I shut my eyes tighter, my whole body aching at the sight. He looked so pale, sick. His eyes were dull, his soft face holding bruises and cuts. His muscles were tensed, more cuts following his body. His clothes were ripped and he was chained up like a dog, his head hanging as he struggled. I could hear the sound of his voice but no words were clear, and I begged myself to stop. I couldn’t watch.

A body stepped in front of him and I was almost relieved until I saw who it was and what he was doing. It was Jeremy and the sound of his hand colliding with Nick’s face was too sickening to take in. I could feel tears spilling down my face, the roughness of Nick’s thumbs wiping them away bringing me some sort of reality. And then I snapped.

Gasping for air, my eyes flew open and my legs buckled. Nick’s hands gripped my arms tightly, holding me up the best he could while my knees hit the ground. I let out an uncontrollable sob and buried my face into his stomach, my fists clenching as he held my wrists.

“Lonnie,” he breathed, bending down some. He pulled me into his warm chest, standing up fully to hold me tight. I sobbed louder and pulled my arms around his neck, hugging him as close to me as I could. “Shh, I’m right here,” he whispered over and over, trying his best to soothe me. He had no idea what to do but he was trying and it made me hurt even worse.

“Nick!” I cried burying my face in the crook of his neck. He squeezed me to him, his soft lips pressing against my hair.

“Shh, I’m here; you’re okay.” If only it would stay that way. “Go get Eve,” Nick ordered suddenly and I remembered Josh was there, probably terrified.

“Wh-who’s Eve-” he started, quickly being cut off by Nick.

“Just go get her,” he ordered, his voice softer as he rested his head on mine. I was a mess.

I could hear Josh run, his footsteps disappearing the farther he got. Nick rubbed my back as I cried, trying to get me to calm down. Nick didn’t speak as I continued to cry like some crazy person, my tears soaking his shoulder. But he just held me close, refusing to let go.

I heard Eve rush to my side suddenly, her quick breathing telling me she was worried. I couldn’t acknowledge her though.

“What’s going on?” she whispered. Nick’s chest vibrated as he spoke softly, allowing me to cling to him like a child.

“I-I don’t know,” he answered honestly, his hands sliding down to my thighs. He lifted me up with ease and I immediately locked my legs around him, trying to calm myself when I realized that he was really here right now. “She started to panic and I guess… I guess she was seeing something she didn’t like,” he whispered, his voice almost breaking as he stared at me. I could feel his gaze and I wanted so badly just to look at him.

“Lonnie. Lonnie, honey; can you tell me what you saw?” Eve asked kindly, her voice full of worry. But Nick snapped.

“Now isn’t the time to ask her that. I need to get her inside. She’s not stable.” Nick always knew. We were just connected that way. I just needed to focus on the positive.

“Right. You’re right,” Eve sighed, kissing my temple gently. It felt like I had a mother again.

“What’s going on? Lonnie, are you alright?” Dad’s frantic voice suddenly called. I still refused to open my eyes.

I could hear Eve walk over to him, no doubt ready to tell him all about my little episodes and that I could see things happening. I didn’t need him to think I was crazy. But right now, I didn’t care. I could feel Nick begin to move, his hands staying tight underneath my thighs. He walked easily, but quick at the same time, and I heard the door squeak open. The chatter from the outside--all revolving around me--was silenced as we entered the house. I managed to stop sobbing, but a few tears still fell as I sniffled, trying to get my breathing even. I felt like a kid again, crying over some scraped knee. Nick was holding me, protecting me like nothing could go wrong when he was there.

That was the problem.

What happened when Nick did disappear? I knew it was going to happen, I just didn’t know when. And when it did… how would I function properly? I revolved everything around him and I wanted to keep it that way, no matter how obsessive it seemed. I loved him. He was my other half; my soul mate.

I was aware that I was being completely cliché, but that’s all I had when I knew what was going to happen; I couldn’t stop it.

It didn’t take long for Nick to carry me up the stairs, his soft breathing being a calming source to me. My glow was bright as I snuggled into him, my light illuminating the dark hallway. I heard my door squeak open but I kept my eyes closed, my arms locking tighter around his neck as he shut it behind him. He stepped towards the bed slowly, not having to wobble around any mess. I almost smiled at the fact that he’d clean up for me, just because I felt like being lazy. He was like my personal butler/wolf boy/soul mate. Nick was my everything.

When I felt the bed underneath me and Nick begin to pull away, my grip tightened and my eyes flew open. My breath caught as they met his soft ones, his whole expression calm and aware. He offered a soothing smile, his hands prying my arms away from him.

“Hold on a second,” he chuckled, gripping my hips. I didn’t have time to acknowledge my stuttering heart, but it was there.

Stupid teenage hormones.

He slid me up the bed, his thumbs rubbing my bare skin softly. His eyebrows knitted together in concentration, like they always did, and I stared at his beauty--like I always did.

“Lift,” he ordered lightly, his voice a mere whisper. I did as I was told and lifted my hips, allowing him to slide the comforter out from underneath me. He gently set it over me and sighed, cocking his head as he watched me rub my eyes furiously. They were puffy and I probably looked ugly right now, but he had the decency not to say anything. He just offered that heartwarming smile and kneeled down onto his knees, gripping my hand in his.

“You’re okay,” he stated softly, tilting his head to the side. He looked so innocent, with the way he rested his head on his arm and with the way his curls touched his forehead. His eyes shined. When he realized I couldn’t speak, he stood and pressed his lips to mine, kissing me gently. I was, of course, quick to kiss back and I lifted my hand up, gripping onto his curls. He deepened the kiss, but not by much, and pulled back hesitantly; his hot breath tickled my lips.

“Don’t go,” I whispered suddenly, my voice cracking a little. I tried my best to clear my throat.

“I’m not going anywhere,” he reassured me, but he didn’t look so sure at this point. I bit my lip.

“Right now, though… I want you to stay.”

He looked at me for a moment, his other hand rubbing his neck. “You need to rest.”

“I can’t unless you stay,” I tried, keeping my gaze targeted on him. He sighed.

“Fine,” he mumbled. I immediately scooted over, lifting the blanket up for him. He kicked his shoes off, unlike me, and crawled underneath the comforter. Before he even settled I was snuggling up to his side, resting my head over his strong heartbeat. It always reminded me of the fact that someone like him, someone so perfect, was real and just for me. “But you better go to sleep. No staying up and annoying me with your jabber,” he murmured in his serious tone, just like he used to. I didn’t know why it made me smile. I rolled my eyes and glanced up to see he was smiling in return. “There it is,” he whispered, his voice almost excited. I furrowed my eyebrows.

“What?” I asked, confused. I felt a little lighter already.

“You’re eyes are sparkling.” He stated it so simply. I smiled again.

“It only happens when I’m with you,” I whispered, leaning towards him. I planted my lips onto his, smiling a little wider when he kissed back. Pulling away slowly, I opened my eyes to find his closed, his full lips twisted up at the corners.

“Mmm,” he hummed, making me shiver. “Cheesy, but I’ll take it,” he chuckled, his cheeks flushing when he opened his eyes.

“I’m just a cliché person,” I shrugged, lowering myself back down, but he gripped my waist and pulled me up, pressing me into his side so I could rest my head on his shoulder.

“I guess we all are sometimes,” he noted lightly, staring off into space.

“Hardly ever you, though,” I mumbled, rubbing at my tired eyes. They were still a little wet.

“I could be, if I wanted to,” he whispered after a moment of silence, his eyes locking on my dresser. He tightened his grip on me absentmindedly, licking his lips.

“Why don’t you then?” I whispered back, lifting my head. It took him a moment to face me, a sigh escaping his perfect lips. He locked my gaze, the heat of it making those butterflies nest inside my stomach again.

“Cause I’m afraid,” he answered softly, swallowing hard. “I’ve always been afraid of opening myself up, of getting hurt.”

“I won’t hurt you Nick,” I answered quickly, inhaling deeply. His sweet scent surrounded me. “Never,” I shook my head, my voice barely audible.

“I know,” he breathed, offering a smile in his eyes rather than on his lips. “I know.”

He leaned down slowly, his hand creeping to the back of my neck, and he kissed my mouth again. He massaged my mouth with his, my whole body giving in and pushing forward to rest on him. He leaned back, our upper halves pressing together as he held me close, allowing me to feel his sincerity. I didn’t want this to end. I didn’t want this to go away.

The longer he kissed me the harder I found it to stay in control. My hands so badly wanted to grip his curls, to pull him deeper. But I restrained from crawling onto him fully and allowed my arms to slide around his waist instead.

I guess I had willpower after all.

He pulled back and kissed my nose, getting me to smile again. He sighed.

“But this is about you. You need to take it easy, okay? Just… get some rest.”

“Okay,” I whispered, leaning back. I didn’t scoot away from him though, deciding to keep my head on his shoulder. I guess he didn’t mind.

We laid there in silence, the sound of feet entering the house disrupting the peace. I could hear mumbles, but they didn’t go for the stairs, deciding to let me rest. I felt drained suddenly, my eyes wanting to close. I could feel Nick glance down at me, no doubt feeling my struggle.

“I think we should just get out of here for a while,” he whispered, catching my full attention. I looked up immediately, my eyes scanning his face to see if he was joking. He was serious. “For a day or two, I mean.”

“Where?” I asked quickly, jumping at the chance. He shrugged, his eyes narrowing as he thought.

“The village. We could go there, to get away…” he trailed off, looking down at me to see my reaction. I couldn’t help but smile. “Like that?” he questioned softly, giving my shoulder a squeeze as he smiled.

“Love that,” I corrected, nuzzling my face into his neck. I didn’t mind when he tensed up for that split second; it was just something he always did. He wasn’t used to anyone being so close to him but he always pulled me closer. I wasn’t the only one who needed a rock.

But I did need my sanity back.