Light in the Storm

The dream was frightening, but I couldn’t feel the fear. It felt as if all my senses were cut off, all the emotions that I had been experiencing at such a swift pace now frozen, waiting for me at the end. I was in a dark tunnel with only one way out, but what happened in that tunnel was the key to what I stepped out and into.

I could feel my body shiver from the cool air against my skin before I was even fully awake. When my eyelids fluttered open I was aware of the black sky, my eye catching only a gleam of a star that seemed too far away. I lifted my hand from the grass beneath me to touch my forehead, feeling the sweat that had stuck to my skin. Was I trembling? I couldn’t feel it.

My eyes darted around the low-lit sky, and I began to wonder how much time until the sun rose, if it even did. Maybe Lucas took the light away too, submerging all of us into a darkness that I couldn’t escape in my dreams, my nightmares. But seeing that star gave me a little bit of hope. Maybe I could put up a good fight, be strong enough for us all; be as strong as my mother and Nick. Maybe… maybe I didn’t have to win. Maybe I just had to distract Lucas, make him think that he was up against something that he couldn’t possibly take, and maybe then I could get Nick back and buy us time. But maybe we didn’t need time. Maybe we needed a solution… I was never good with solutions.

I turned my head, the blades of grass beginning to tickle my cheek as I glanced to my side. Ryan lay to my right, just a few feet away, and Russell only a few feet from him, closer to the opening of the trees. Their bodies rose up and down with a peaceful sleep, one that I envied. But maybe it wasn’t so peaceful. Maybe they were thinking just as much as me, having a nightmare with their faces twisted in discomfort, unable to actually rest even though they were asleep. Or maybe I wished I wasn’t alone. There were a lot of maybe’s; it was uneasy.

My mind suddenly drifted, landing on a smoldering pair of chocolate orbs, squinted and lined by thick lashes. I swore I could see them as I stared up at the sky, like they were there instead of the stray cloud that seemed to be passing by. I could feel my chest tighten while the gasp escaped my now parted lips, and I scraped my teeth over my dry bottom lip. The eyes were accompanied by a nose and a set of full lips under those, pink and taut. I could see the creases by his mouth, the ones that appeared with his smirk. I could also see the curls atop his head, each ringlet shiny and bouncy, the rest of the curls unkempt and soft. There were freckles… beauty marks; I felt myself smiling at just the memory of him stressing the difference of the word.

I felt my chest tighten again. Suddenly he wasn’t in the clouds anymore, staring down at me like a figment of my imagination, like I knew he was at this moment; but he was right in front of me, as real as ever. I could even smell him, and I wanted so badly to touch him, to wrap myself within his scent and his embrace. I jolted up in fear that he would leave, but he stayed there, his eyes continuing to burn into me, making my breathing uneven and panicky. I thought about calling his name, but my voice wouldn’t let me. I stood instead, my legs wobbling underneath me, and I reached out for him. I couldn’t describe the feeling when I saw his hand move forward and towards mine, ready to grab it and take me away. Maybe all of this was part of the nightmare. Maybe I was finally awake. I could feel myself so close to bursting with what had to be happiness, but it didn’t feel right. It didn’t matter to me though, Nick was here.

I was disappointed when he didn’t grab my hand, but turned instead, nodding his head to the opening in the clump of trees. I saw the light in his eyes and it made my heart thump, but again it didn’t feel the same. It felt… dangerous, down in my gut. I stared at him for a moment, at my Nick, and I decided to let it go. He wouldn’t hurt me. Nick was my protector and whatever I was feeling was just anxiety because I hadn’t yet been able to scream in joy or jump at him and tell him how horrible my nightmare had been. I took a step forward, only pausing for a moment to glance over at Ryan and Russell. They were still fast asleep on the grass, the dark sky slowly dimming into a cloudy light. I contemplated waking them, telling them that Nick was here and that we could go before Lucas really did find us, that I wasn’t living a nightmare anymore. But something stopped me.

Nick was standing by the tree, his eyes staring into mine with an intensity that almost made me afraid. I told myself it wasn’t right, it couldn’t be. Those were the eyes I loved, the ones that I could get lost in no matter how embarrassing it was to admit. I felt myself want to take a step away from him and I didn’t know why.

“Lonnie,” he whispered suddenly, so soft and smooth. His voice made me freeze. “Lonnie,” he said again, but it didn’t sound like he was right in front of me, more like the sound was traveling in the wind. “Come with me. Let me take you away… we can go away.”

I tilted my head to the side and stared at him in awe. He was so beautiful and everything about him was beautiful. All his curls were perfectly aligned, and they didn’t even seem to move when the slight breeze rolled along, making me shiver. His face looked so smooth and pale, and I couldn’t spot one little mark on him; no freckles. Wasn’t that odd, though? I had just saw all those little beauty marks moments ago, when he was in the clouds. But that was my imagination then, and this was… real? I blinked slowly, tilting my head back to its proper position before taking in Nick again. He waited, unmoving.

I tried to move forward again because I wanted to leave with him, but I saw a flicker in his eyes, and then they were closed. And after I blinked… he was disappearing. He was leaving again, dissolving away from me. I couldn’t describe the sudden burst of feelings in me, partly because I had no clue of them. I watched with tearful eyes as he began to fade away, my breathing being sucked away just like his life, there was a stabbing in my chest that I couldn’t get rid of; it felt so real. My breathing quickened into short, high-pitched gasps, and I clutched my chest with my hand. It felt like I was dying, the pain suddenly so sharp and unyielding, only spreading faster throughout me. And, just like that, he was gone. He was gone right before my eyes.

I could hear an ear piercing sound when I felt myself crumple and fall to the ground. I didn’t know where it was coming from, but it sounded deep inside my head, making me cringe, my mouth opening wide. My throat was on fire and my chest was numb, and the sound kept going. I felt my body began to shake on the ground and my eyes flew open, a sudden sense of reality crashing down on me when I heard the scream more clearly; it was coming from me.

My eyes were as wide as my mouth, staring up at the almost lit sky, the disturbing sound refusing to stop it’s ringing from my throat. I was being shaken by two sets of hands, but I didn’t know how hard because I was jerking my own body without control.

“What do we do?” one of the voices shouted above me, but the sound was quickly lost, almost like it was sucked in by my never-ending scream. I didn’t know how much longer I could go, but I was feeling light headed and dizzy. And, staring up at the dark cloud in the sky, I could see Nick again, flickering in and out of view.

I tried to move my arms, but they stayed stiff beside me, refusing to even twitch. I could feel my lungs and throat begin to constrict, but the scream didn’t stop; I heard it falter, maybe it was my imagination, but it never rested. And I found myself seeing a gray ring around my blurry vision, a blackness wanting to creep over me. The closer to the blackness I was, the closer to Nick I became, and it made me not want to fight it. I didn’t know what was going on but I could feel myself losing control, and I wasn’t sure how to get it back. I wasn’t sure of anything.

“Stop!” another voice sounded, this one deeper and louder, but it seemed faint to me. My body jerked and the screaming froze, almost like on command, but I still couldn’t move.

“Get some water,” the first voice said frantically, and I could feel my body being shaken again as I stared forward, seeing a leering blackness. Where was Nick?

I didn’t have time to search any place for him because I felt like I was being dunked in ice water, and I sucked in a deep breath. My throat felt sore, but it was nothing compared to the tightness my skin felt under the water. My eyes were forced open, but it didn’t make sense… weren’t they already open, staring for Nick? I coughed uncontrollably, but this time I felt it, and I tried to jerk forward. I spotted Ryan in front of me suddenly, his hands holding me down on the grass as Russell held something in his hands. Both of their eyes were wide, full of both fear and relief. I continued to cough.

There was an unmistakable feeling deep in the pit of my stomach while I watched the sun rise between my attempt to catch my breath. It was the sign telling me that the tightening in my chest only got worse, and it hit the point where my breathing wanted to falter, to stop all together. It didn’t though, and I was thankful. What had just happened to me? Was I dreaming? Was I in a nightmare? Would I always be in a constant unknowing state?

My eyes flickered between the twins as I calmed, the only sound now being my sniffling, but I refused to cry.

“What was that?” Russell asked lowly, his voice quivering. My mouth opened and then closed, no words falling from my lips. All I could do was cough for the time being.

“Maybe she was dreaming?”

“No!” I choked out, sitting myself up despite their protesting eyes. “It-it was real!” They glanced between each other, no doubt questioning my sanity. I gulped. “I… saw Nick,” I whispered, and I immediately saw their shoulders drop; they’d didn’t believe me. “No, I did! You-you have to… please.” I didn’t know how to speak.

“What do you mean?” Ryan asked cautiously. I took a shaky breath.

“I was awake, I know I was. And I was staring up at the cloud… and I could see Nick. And then, all of a sudden, he was right in front of me.” My words were shaky but I tried my best to stay calm, to get them to believe me. I needed them to believe me. “But it felt different. It wasn’t right, but I still wanted to go with him. I tried to tell you guys, to talk, but I couldn’t do that either. And then…” I trailed off, my chest tightening, “he was g-gone. He was gone and the pain was so unimaginable. I couldn’t take it. And then I was screaming and you guys were…” I didn’t need to say the rest.

“Lonnie,” Russell sighed, but his tone was far from comforting. “You’re seeing things you want to see-”

“No!” I shouted, shaking my head furiously, “You don’t get it. He was-”

“He wasn’t here,” Russell stressed.

“If he wasn’t then something was because I-”

“Maybe she was seeing it,” Ryan said suddenly. I froze. “Uh, you know, like visions?”

“But Nick isn’t going to just disappear.” Russell shook his head, almost positive that what he was saying was the truth.

“No…” Ryan agreed, “but maybe Lucas is making her see it. Maybe he wants her to think that Nick will be gone, even if she does win.”

I couldn’t listen to this. I couldn’t let them take my hope away. If I fought I was counting on winning so I could see Nick, not so everything would be thrown away anyway. I couldn’t take that-- I wouldn’t.

“You don’t understand!” I shouted with a sudden anger, unable to stop the words from falling through my trembling lips. They stared down at me, and I at them, and I took a shaky breath. “He’s… he’s willing to die.” I didn’t like thinking about what he said to me in the room; I didn’t like seeing him chained up and beaten. “And I-I can’t let him… I can’t. I wouldn’t know how to live.”

I could see them turn their heads to glance at each other before I let my head drop, shutting my eyes tight enough to refuse the tears that threatened to spill. Why was this happening to me? Not the fighting or the magic, because I had become used to almost everything in our magical world, but why did I have to see Nick in pain? Why did the pain never stop? Why did I have to see him disappear over and over again, yet still hold hope that he’d be there; would my hope be crushed after the fight? If I even lived to see the aftermath…

I could feel the sudden light around, though it was still dim and foggy, and it warmed my skin just barely. I wanted to just breathe in the air -- Nick’s scent would be more preferred -- and just finally be carefree again. I trailed my fingers to the necklace around my neck, first touching the orb, then Nick’s present from the bonfire. The memory was enough to spark a twitch of a smile, but the feeling of hopelessness stood strong, making a bottomless pit out of my stomach and heart.

“Do you think we should get moving?” I heard Ryan whisper to his brother, but it only angered me more. Wasn’t I right in front of them? Couldn’t I make my own decisions? No one ever let me decide anything. Nick wouldn’t let me decide that I could still take care of this and that he didn’t need to offer his life.

The pang in my chest only worsened. It felt like I was falling, but there was no escape, nothing to grab onto.

I jumped to my feet, my legs wobbling and almost bending underneath me, and I wiped my hands over my stained jeans. I didn’t feel anything and I couldn’t focus; it was like this was it. I needed that sliver of hope, but every time my mind wandered to Nick it only made things worse. I thought about him, and then I thought about him disappearing, his life ending because of Lucas. Then I thought about how things would ultimately end up and nothing seemed to bring any sense of comfort. Lucas was truly sadistic and he knew what he was doing. His plan would work and I would fail, and everything would end… all because of me and my selfishness and want to save the only man I loved, the man I was engaged to.

I didn’t know why, but I glanced down at that ring, the diamond that I focused on shimmering. I felt… I couldn’t even describe it.

“Come on,” Russell sighed. I glanced up to see them waiting by the opening of the trees, their eyes filled with sorrow. I took a breath and stepped forward, shutting my eyes tight for only a moment before following them back into the forest with jelly-like legs.

Everything around seemed familiar, but I still felt so lost. I looked around with wide eyes, unable to speak any sort of word. Ryan and Russell led the way farther into the forest, knowing from the paper I had given them where Lucas would be before searching for us, wanting to catch us off guard. Nick had left the first note for me, helping me have that upper hand, even if it wasn’t much. But I still wasn’t ready.

“Lonnie,” Russell said, breaking the silence with his suddenly curious voice, “do you think you’re ready?”

Ryan glanced at him as if that were the stupidest question he had ever heard; I didn’t know if it was because he believed in me, or because he obviously knew I wasn’t.

I ran my fingers across my forehead, pushing the hair away. “There’s nothing I can do even if I’m not.”

“You know,” Ryan started as he cleared his throat and stepped under a tree branch, “things will work out somehow.”

“Somehow,” I mumbled dryly. I was never really such a pessimist, but when you face death -- more than once -- and you have to face the fact that maybe you’ll lose a part of you, or maybe your whole self, that there’s nothing to really look forward to.

“I know you’re probably tired of everyone telling you that you can do it, but you’re strong, Lonnie. Stronger than any of us.” I shook my head no at Russell’s words, glancing at him for only a moment as my pace slowed. “Yes you are,” he argued. “You’re even stronger than Nick.”

“No,” I said quickly, shaking my head faster. “No, no one is stronger than Nick.”

“He’s just as lost as you are, Lonnie,” Ryan whispered.

“Stop, okay? Please?” I couldn’t hide the crack in my voice and I knew they felt even worse now, thinking that they were making me cry. But it was all just too much; everything.

It was silent for a few moments as we walked, our feet crunching over the leaves, the dim light barely peeking through the tree limbs. And then Russell spoke again.

“Can you just tell me one thing?” he asked, his eyes darting over to me. I nodded. “Are you going to give up because you don’t know what’ll happen to Nick?”

It wasn’t really a surprise that I didn’t know the answer to that. It was wrong of me to give up, to let everyone suffer just because I didn’t know if Nick was going to make it. If he knew that, he’d be furious. But I didn’t know if I could bring myself to fight, to focus on anything good when I was surrounded by bad. This was what Lucas wanted. And he probably knew that I had nothing left in me. I couldn’t fight him again.

I didn’t answer him, but he seemed to understand what I was thinking. He didn’t say anything after that, neither did Ryan; we walked on instead. I knew that we were going to a different field, one that I hadn’t been to before. I wasn’t quite sure it even was a field, but Ryan and Russell seemed to know of it.

They slowed down when they reached a cluster of trees that seemed to be rotting. It looked like there should be a black cloud above with a bolt of lightening streaming down. I shivered. We moved a little closer and I could spot a rust looking archway, practically falling apart. There were dead leaves surrounding the old dirt as we stepped under the archway, but that wasn’t what caught my eye. I held my breath when I spotted the few tombstones, and I recognized this to be some sort of… cemetery.

I took a peak at Ryan beside me and noted the way he looked a little paler, but Russell didn’t look as fazed. My attention was soon caught by a crouched figure in the distance. His side faced us, but most of his face was hooded. I knew who it was, though. No one could mistake the eerie feeling that settled in the air.

There wasn’t anything but silence as we crept forward. My mind swirled with too many thoughts as we neared him, my heart pounding. Was Coimbra in the shadows? He didn’t have Eve or my father, did he? Maybe he wasn’t even around. And where was Jeremy? Was he hiding in the bushes, torturing Nick? I captured my bottom lip with my teeth harshly, tightening all my muscles as I continued my slow steps. I didn’t know what he was doing, but it looked like he was maybe just sitting there, breathing in and out slowly, readying himself for the fight that would come soon. Too soon.

I froze when a branch cracked underneath my shoe, his body stiffening. I squinted my eyes to see his lips curl into a smile, and his head suddenly turned in our direction. He tried not to look surprised, the expression malicious, but his black eyes held that shock, and a flicker of hope coursed through me. It didn’t last, but it was there.

“Well, Lilliani… what a nice surprise. Were you the one who ripped a page out of my journal?”

“Diary,” Russell huffed under his breath with amusement, but Lucas caught it. His head cocked to the side in a robotic manner, a drier smile covering his thin lips.

“And I see you brought two mutts. Where’s your own pet, dear?” His words were smooth, but the taunt was there and the venom dripped from each syllable. “Didn’t you let him take you away?” I could feel a small gasp escape my lips when my eyes widened. The twins looked at each other in confusion, but I knew what he was talking about. It was him… the whole thing this morning was him; he was making me see Nick, making me think he was there and then pulling him away, leaving me screaming with pain. He knew that I had a lack of control.

“Wouldn’t you know?” I said lowly, my voice sounding without thought. He looked oddly pleased.

“I should know, shouldn’t I?” He heaved a heavy sigh and then stood, the long black robe he wore swishing with his movements. I watched him wipe his hands on the cloth before he spoke again. “But I’m afraid I don’t. You see, Jeremy has a mind of his own and, well,” he laughed in a crackly tone, somehow keeping it light, “Nicholas isn’t afraid to give him trouble. I heard them get into a scuffle before we parted ways. Gave Jeremy quite a few hits, I’m afraid.” He didn’t looked to pleased anymore, but I was, and the short sound of Russell hissing a drawn out yes under his breath gave me a ghost of a smile. “Yes, I did think you’d like that, Lilliani, ” he grinned again, but it was forced now. “But Jeremy didn’t.” I pursed my lips.

“What do you want?” I cracked, keeping my hard gaze on him as the wind whipped my hair around.

“Now, I’m becoming very impatient. We have discussed this before, no? I do think I recall our conversation happening just before you tried to rid the world of me.” There was that smile again, vicious and unsettling, and triumphant. “But you failed.”

“So, now what?” I tried again, licking my lips nervously. “What do you want now, Lucas?”

“I want you, Lilliani. I want your power.”

My voice was daring; “So take it.” Ryan and Russell glanced at me in shock, wondering if I was crazy. Maybe so.

But Lucas only laughed darkly, shaking his head. “Are you that desperate to have Nicholas back?” I kept quiet; he didn’t need to know how much not having him really hurt me. “Awe,” he cooed mockingly. “What a pity. Two lives so lost without each other, not a whole. It’s a pure waste, I know. Love,” he spat, “is nothing compared to the power we could have!” We? I shook my head furiously.

“Why do you want me?”

“I don’t want you. I don’t see how anyone could,” he laughed. I could feel my face burn with embarrassment, with a sudden hurt at such a comment.

“You’re wrong,” I gasped, “a-about love.” He looked at me, his face bored, waiting for me to spout off about my love for Nick. But I had something else planned. “You only hate love because Rosalind wouldn’t return it.” I knew he tried not to react, but he did. His eye twitched and his body tensed, and I sort of smiled. Nick had led me to that journal, to the words he wrote, and even though I hadn’t really comprehended them then I knew that he was rejected by my mom. He didn’t just want her power, but her love, and I knew he couldn’t lie any longer.

“What are you talking about?” he hissed angrily. I didn’t know why, but I felt a sudden surge of power, and my glow sparked. My heart leapt at the realization that maybe Nick was around.

“You don’t know what love is, but you wish you did. You wish she loved you like she loved my dad. You wish someone would love you like I love Nick.”

“I do not wish for such a thing!” he yelled, his eyes narrowing and then widening again. “I do not wish for petty things.”

“You don’t because you can’t!” I yelled. I glanced at my hands shortly, my breathing quickening when the glow slowly flickered again, but this time it stayed dimly. He was close… he had to be. “And if you did you’d feel ashamed. You want power-” I paused suddenly, my lips parting with a soft gasp.

My eyes settled past Lucas and onto two figures; there he stood, right in front of Jeremy, his chocolate eyes boring into me with such an array of emotions. I didn’t focus on all the new and old cuts and bruises, but glanced down at his lips instead, feeling the butterflies when they parted too. It felt like ages since I had seen him last even though it really wasn’t that long ago at all. Seeing him as my Nick, though… that was much longer.

“But…” I started again, my voice weakening as I stared into Nick’s eyes, “but you don’t understand the power that love holds.”

“Jeremy,” Lucas shouted without even turning. He shut his eyes tight. “Why did you bring him here now? Was he too much for you to handle?”

“No,” Jeremy said loudly. I could see his hands grip Nick’s wrists tightly, holding them against his back. He winced.

“Whatever your purpose,” he sighed heavily, “do not interfere. The girl and I are having a nice chat, aren’t we?”

“What do you want?” I asked again. I couldn’t look at him this time because I was too focused on Nick, too mesmerized and submerged in pain.

“I know what you want,” Lucas laughed, almost as of he were giddy.

“I know exactly what Nick wants as well,” Jeremy grinned from afar, lifting a hand to grip Nick’s chin roughly. “Don’t I, Nicky?” Nick jerked his head away and growled, anger filling his dark eyes.

“And I know you know what I want… your magic,” Lucas spoke again. I tightened my fists at my sides, not paying much attention to Ryan and Russell beside me. “Won’t you give it to me?”

“No, she won’t!” Nick shouted, his voice raw and raspy, but it was somehow still soft. I glanced over at him as Lucas sighed, my sad eyes meeting his own. “You won’t,” he whispered, deciding for me with his stern, but somehow gentle, tone.

“Alright then,” Lucas said impatiently and, still without turning around, he spoke to Jeremy: “Kill him.” My eyes widened with horror and my mouth fell open. Jeremy began to tug Nick away.

“No!” I screamed, the tears threatening again. “P-please,” I whispered, begging. “Please.”

“So you will?” Lucas asked with feigned surprise. I opened my mouth to speak, but my favorite voice sounded instead, pained.

“Don’t,” he warned, his jaw tight as he stood with Jeremy ready to yank him away.

“No,” I shook my head, “you don’t! Don’t do this!” I wanted to so badly run to him, to just hold him and have him hold me back, but I was afraid to move. “You don’t have to do this to yourself, Nick. Please.”

“I have to,” he said quietly. He darted his eyes away from mine, refusing to let me see the emotion in them. Everyone could see the emotion in mine.

“No, Nick,” I breathed, “you don’t.” He glanced back up at me, confusion sweeping over him. His eyes searched mine frantically, but I didn’t know what else to say. Was I giving up to save him?

“Listen to your soul mate, Nicky,” Lucas mocked, his head turning to the side just barely to direct his voice to him.

“She might not be so stupid after all,” Jeremy chuckled darkly. I could see the anger flash through Nick and he jerked suddenly, catching Jeremy off guard. He was free of his grasp for an instant, and I thought he might run, run to me, but he didn’t. His fist flung forward instead, catching Jeremy right in the nose.

“Don’t you ever talk about her like that,” he said through gritted teeth. I felt the shock run through me, the tears ready to pool over, but I actually… smiled.

I was surprised when Lucas didn’t do anything, he barely even acknowledged what just happened. And Nick didn’t even try to run. He stood towering above Jeremy as he was bent over, clutching his bleeding nose.

“Well,” Lucas laughed, “we have two options. One being we come to agreement, or two… we fight. Which will it be?”

I looked to Nick for answers, begging him with my eyes to tell me which to choose, but he couldn’t. He didn’t want me to give myself up, but at the same time he didn’t want me to have to fight. We were both stuck with nothing to do, and I hated it.

“Tick, tock,” his voice rang, his eyes burning into me. I gulped.

“You have to promise not to hurt Nick,” I breathed. I could see Nick ready to protest out of the corner of my eye, but he was silenced by Jeremy’s hand over his mouth.

“I will not hurt him. I have no reason to,” Lucas declared. I took another glance at Nick, every moment we’ve had together flashing through me. And then I remembered what he said; he wanted me to think about the wedding, because he’d be thinking about it to. I’d make it through this because I needed him, because we’d be happy in the end. Things would have to work out, they just had to.

Holding my head a little higher and my posture a little stronger, I exhaled a deep breath, my eyes burning straight back into him. “We’ll fight.”

He raised his eyebrows, unable to mask the shock; he thought he had me, he thought I’d give in to be with Nick. He was wrong. I just wanted to save him.

“You’re making… a big mistake,” he breathed, shaking his head. “You and your mother are just alike, dying for love. You remember that. You remember how much you love him when you’re dying!” He was shouting, but his words didn’t scare me. Nothing but losing Nick did. And I felt strength.

“And you remember how lonely and desperate you are when I kick your ass.” I couldn’t believe I just said that. I could see Nick’s eyes widen and his mouth drop open with the shock, and I felt it too, even a little embarrassed. But it was… oddly thrilling. It made me antsy.

“Alright,” Lucas smiled, but it quickly faded into a grimace.

I waited for something to happen while I stood there, the warmth from the glow rolling over me, ready to move however I made it. I tried to clear my mind as fast as I could and just focus on winning, using any hope of Nick and I at our wedding to fuel me. But he continued to stand there, teasing me in a way that was so cruel; he didn’t move. What was he doing? What was his next move? Maybe he didn’t even know…

“But,” he started, turning his attention to Ryan and Russell, “first…” They made a sound as something gray lingered over, not even touching me. I watched with wide eyes as they fell to the ground, practically panting with pain.

“What are you doing?” I asked frantically.

“Just you and me, Lilliani. No distractions this time.”

I could hear a ghost of a voice in the back of my head telling me that I could do this, that I could win this for her, for everybody, for Nick. And I glanced over at Nick’s still figure, still being held captive by a broken-nosed Jeremy, and I breathed.

I felt it then, a sudden pain coursing through inside of me. I didn’t know what it was, but Lucas knew I was feeling it, and that I couldn’t get away. It was multiple feelings that I had experienced before, all the pains I had gone through wrapped up in one big cloud of smoke. I could see it right in front of me, seeping through my skin like I was a ghost. It was just the beginning but I was already feeling weak and wondering what I could do. I wanted to make him feel the same pain, or one even worse.

I struggled to breathe and grasp onto a sudden thought rushing through me. My eyes shut tight while I winced, forcing myself to stand upright. The wind continued to swirl, more harshly this time, but I let the cool feeling distract me for only a moment. And then I let it go. I pushed everything I thought I could onto him, thinking about pain; all the pain he had caused me, my family, Nick. It was hard not to scream out when my chest began to burn, but I had to focus on my own attack, hoping that it could faze him and make him start just long enough to throw something else at him, whatever that could be.

Slowly I felt the pain subside, pulling out of me with a gasp. It only fueled my attack more. I opened my eyes to see him trying not to react, to push it away with his own power. What could I do now? I had no clue. I glanced around quickly, my eyes flickering over Nick several times. His face was blank but his eyes were swimming, and he was worried for me. I locked my glance on a big tree that stood diagonally away from Lucas, and I had an idea. Just like all my training I focused on that tree, pushing my hands out, pulling it forward with as much force as I could. Lucas turned just as the large trunk fell forward, hitting him forcefully. But I knew that wasn’t it. Before I even had a chance to blink he was up, the tree flying back against a few smaller ones, breaking them down. And I was on my knees in pain. I let out a scream.

“You’ll have to do better than that!” he shouted breathily, continuing his attack on me. I could feel my heart pounding against my ribcage and I wondered if it was going to explode.

“S-so will you,” I managed to choke out. I didn’t know what my mind was reeling with, but his head suddenly jerked back, and it wasn’t because he was laughing. The clouds that were surrounding him were rushing rapidly as he sputtered in pain, but whatever I was doing was knocked away, making me trip and fall to the ground.

The wind swirled at a rapid pace, blowing my hair all around and in front of me. I glanced up to see him rising on that familiar black cloud of smoke, disappearing within it after showing an evil smirk. Not this again. He blew away with the wind, leaving me staring at trees and Jeremy roughly holding Nick’s head in place, forcing him to watch me. I realized then just how weak he was… and it broke me.

He opened his mouth to call out to me, but he winced when Jeremy dug his fingers into his wrist. I snapped my head around to see the cloud, but it wasn’t just that anymore… it was everywhere. There were swarms of black smoke and clouds, and there was even something that resembled a twister.

“Oh no…” I breathed, my eyes scanning up until I saw him again, hiding behind the smoke. How could I go up against such a thing? This truly was a black storm.

I didn’t need to start hyperventilating, but I couldn’t control it as a sudden fear washed over me. The wind grew harder as it came closer to me, and I just didn’t know what to do. I tried to stand myself up but something pushed me back, hard. I flew, a groan of surprise and pain flying from my lungs when I hit the ground, dirt rising. I was closer to Nick now and my glow sparked; but what could I do?

I shut my eyes and focused on my breathing first, then what I wanted to do. I wanted Lucas gone forever. I wanted him to go just like he made Sheba leave. I had to get him out of that smoke first. I had to get him thinking, listening to me.

“You’re a coward!” I shouted through tears I hadn’t known were there. “You’re… you’re such a coward that you have to hide behind all of this to get what you want.” I could see that ghostly hand snake forward, the fingers wrapping stiffly around my neck; this was all so familiar. “Wh-what’s the matter?” I choked out. I kicked my dangling feet as it raised me up, my eyes flickering to the fast moving wind, the twister-type thing waiting for me. “Afraid that I’ll beat you if you don’t have extra help?” I could feel him hesitate. I knew I had to keep talking. I learned this type of distraction from Nick. “Think you’re not strong enough?”

“I’m stronger than you’ll ever be!” his voice boomed, but it sounded as if it were just an eerie his through the wind.

“Then why do you need my magic!” I shouted again, my voice cracking. It was getting harder to breathe as he squeezed my throat, but I didn’t stop trying to tug the hand away.

“Because without you there will be no one to stop me!”

As he spoke I focused on something, anything to get him to stop. And while he was distracted I hit. My glow rippled away from me in a fast, bright blur, attacking the black objects with as much force as I could muster. I heard a loud gasp echo through the trees, making my head hurt. I tried my best to focus solely on making him disappear, hoping that he be gone forever. The magic didn’t stop flowing from me even when I began to feel lightheaded; the power was still there. I could feel something whip forward as he groaned in what I hoped to pain, and it scratched across my face. It burned almost immediately but I couldn’t let it affect me, and I continued to focus. With each strain of my muscle and gasping breath I found it harder to stay in control, but I knew deep down that I was so close. I was so close to winning. I couldn’t let go now.

Lucas held on just as tight though, trying to reach me through whatever I was blasting at him. I felt his smoke grab my ankle, yanking me forward, but even as I screamed in pain underneath his twisting I kept strong. I could see Nick’s face through the darkness in my head; I could see us and everyone.

“Lucas!” Jeremy shouted, his voice frightened and loud, but still drowned out through all the noise of the wind and screams. “Lucas, what are you doing!” he screamed. “You’re letting her win!” I could feel the smile on my face as the wind pricked my skin. I felt something trickling down from my forehead, probably sweat or blood or both, but I kept on. Something in me wanted to fight, and it wanted to win.

Lucas didn’t say any words, but continued to scream instead. I couldn’t tell his apart from mine, both of the sounds loud and full of pain, but maybe mine held some relief.

“Lonnie, you’re so close!” I recognized that voice, so velvet like. I wondered for a moment if it was just from my memories, but when it sounded again, more hoarse and raspy, I knew it was real. “Hang in there!”

I could hear Jeremy tell him to shut up, and I heard a smack, but then I heard another one and I knew Nick had hit him back. I realized my focus was beginning to slack and I could feel his resistance suddenly, though it was getting weaker. I took a deep breath and finally opened my eyes, surprised to see the way things began to disappear. All that seemed to be left was a black fog that surrounded everything, graying out in places. This was it. I was so close.

I could hear the sounds of hits and slaps and groans, but I ignored those, unable to let myself think that maybe Nick was being hurt even more. I couldn’t see Ryan and Russell, but they had to be safe. And then there was Lucas. I could see his face clearly now, nothing but pain in his eyes as he stared at me with a hatred I had never thought to see. I could hear other noises in the back of the fog, voices that seemed familiar, but the sounded like a buzzing sound within the whirlwind. Were other people here? Could they get hurt? I couldn’t think about this, but it was so hard not to.

I could feel my breathing begin to falter again, but I tried to stay strong as Nick’s words rang in my ears: “Hang in there!”

With everything I had left in me, I pushed forward. A loud sound exploded with a burst of light, and it almost felt as if my powers were flying away, leaving me. I watched as my arms went limp, the gold bursts taking over every part of the black fog. My eyes were wide and my body felt like a vegetable, but I couldn’t help but stare. Even when such a ear-splitting scream flew from Lucas, I couldn’t look away. The light was taking him over, ripping him away from everything he had, and within moments he was gone; a light gray dust floated in the slowing wind where he had been, every part of the smoky storm being sucked away for good.

I was met with a silence when my body swayed, ready to topple over from exhaustion and all the intensity, but I had to look at Nick. I had to see his face, my curiosity to see if he was proud of me making me forget about all the pain; I just wanted to see his eyes. But when I turned I wasn’t met with the view of his beautiful face. I was met with Jeremy spinning him around so his back was facing me. There was something in Jeremy’s eyes, an emotion just as strong as the sudden hatred I saw through Lucas, and his arm jerked in a short forward motion. I didn’t know what was happening, but Nick bent forward then, his whole body completely still. The silence still remained, even worse this time, and I had no clue if there was anyone but the three of us around.

Jeremy moved his arm back now and my eyes caught a glint of something shimmering as he twisted it by his side, the tip covered in a red substance. I watched with confused eyes, a questioning breath falling from my lips as I stood. I watched Nick slowly turn, his movements shaky as he moved to face me. My eyes caught sight of his wide ones; they seemed… scared. And then I saw the way his mouth was open, his lips parted with utter shock, and I saw him slowly let his head hang. I glanced down to where he was looking, and what I saw was something that I couldn’t believe. Blood was slowly seeping into his shirt, spreading into the fabric from the slit - -the one both cutting through the cloth and his skin.

I couldn’t believe it. I had just saw it, but I didn’t know what was happening, and I didn’t stop Jeremy. He still stood behind Nick with the shimmering object, the knife, covered with his blood. I didn’t know what I felt, if there was any feeling left in me. Nick glanced back up then, his eyes looking brighter somehow, shimmering in a way that made my lip tremble. I felt the tears in my eyes finally escape and trickle down my cheeks, faster than I expected, and a strangled cry flew out of my lungs as Nick fell to his knees.

“Nick…” His name fell from my mouth in a mere whisper, my vision blurring while I watched his shaking hand cover the wound. I didn’t know how badly he was hurt, or if he was just in shock, but all my mind could register was how his hand was covered in blood, shaking as he stared at it.

“Oh my god,” I heard a weak voice whisper in shock. It was Ryan, he was watching Nick just like I was.

“What did you-” I tried breathily, unable to finish. I tried again. “Why-” Nothing. “Nick…”

He glanced up at the call of his name, but his eyes were now filled with pain -- so much pain from so many different reasons. And I couldn’t help him. I couldn’t help myself.

I found myself moving forward as fast as I could without running, nothing but a sudden rage taking over all of me. Jeremy had stepped forward now, feet in front of Nick instead of behind, and I kept moving right in front of him. I didn’t even stop before I flung my hand out, my fist hard as it hit his face. He stumbled backwards, but I still didn’t stop; I gripped onto him instead, falling down just as he had, the knife sliding into a pile of leaves just inches away. He let out a strangled yell when I gripped his neck, pulling him forward and then slamming his head back down into the dirt. He grabbed at me, but there was no pain when he scratched at me, tried to kick me off him. And there was such a yell… and it was coming from me. I couldn’t control myself and it scared me, but what was even worse was that I couldn’t stop to get over to Nick.

I heard my name being called but it wasn’t from the voice I wanted so desperately to hear. And even through my tears I didn’t stop hitting Jeremy. I didn’t stop yelling. I couldn’t. I felt hands on my shoulders, but I didn’t acknowledge them, not until they ripped me up and away from the person I hated more than anything in me.

“Lonnie, stop it, please!” I recognized that voice… Mr. Cornell. I glanced back with anger in my eyes, my body freezing when they locked with his; they were full of sorrow, too, and it made me sob.

I ripped myself away from him, falling down to my knees painfully. I crawled to Nick as fast as I could, stumbling repeatedly but not enough to slow me down. The burning in my knees protested against my actions, but when I reached Nick I didn’t feel anything. I felt nothing but him. He was leaning forward now, his knees and the tips of his worn converse digging into the dirt while his forehead rested against it. He was clutching his stomach, his breathing seeming a little shallow, shaky.

“Nick. Nick, please,” I begged, the cracking taking over the words. I reached forward to grab his shoulders, gently pulling him up. I could see his eyes shut tight, his lips in a fine line. I could see him, but it wasn’t the way I had imagined.

Another sob fell from me when I lifted him more, carefully trying to roll him off his knees and onto his back. He opened his eyes then, the light seeming gone, leaving dark orbs staring up at me. He was giving up. He… he couldn’t.

“Nick, please,” I repeated, smashing my lips together so I wouldn’t cry again. “Nick!” I gasped, “Nick, I won! I beat Lucas!”

“I-I know,” he said softly, his voice barely a whisper. He nodded his head a little, his eyes still burning into mine.

“Because of you…” I quivered. He shook his head, his lips moving with a silent no. “Yes, because of you.” I left my lips pushed together and lifted my hand to settle on his cheek, the skin cool under my shaking touch. “I did it because of you,” I struggled, “because I’m not anything without you. And I did what you said, Nick.” His eyes barely held anything, but I could see a hint of confusion. “I thought about the wedding, just like you said, Nick. I-I saw you… and me. God, you were so perfect. Please…” My voice trailed off when my eyes caught sight of his hand. He moved it away from his wound, the blood on his hand only making my stomach knot. He lifted it towards mine though, easily clasping our fingers together.

“I did-” he tried, shakily licking his lips. I watched him with my full attention, trying to stay strong; it was impossible. “I did t-think… thought… of you.”

“When?” I asked, trying to keep him talking, to keep him okay.

He looked at me, the emotions swimming in his eyes again, and he furrowed his eyebrows. “Always,” he whispered as if it were obvious. I managed to laugh, but it mixed with a cry, making things even worse. “I didn’t want you to worry about me,” he whispered. I heard the sudden quiver in his voice and I could see his eyes glaze with tears, but even in this state he was stronger than me, forcing them back. “But I can’t help feel like… like even now it was worth it.” He trailed his eyes away from me for only a moment before they met mine again, and I squeezed his hand. “But this wasn’t how I expected things to go." He attempted to laugh, but his body shook with more of a silent sob than anything. “I didn’t want to die for no reason-”

“No,” I cried, shaking my head furiously, “you aren’t dying.”

He breathed in deeply, his eyes glazing over again. “I promise to love you forever…” he whispered, giving my hand a gentle squeeze. “That’s what I was going to say, at our wedding-”

“No. If you loved me you’d stay!” I couldn’t control it anymore and the tears began to fall once again.

“Don’t,” he said desperately. He shook his head, his chest tightening with what had to be pain as he slowly kept bleeding. “Please…”

“Nick, just promise me you’ll stay. That’s all you have to do… stay with me.”

“I can’t promise you that,” he argued weakly, “I can’t promise you things that aren’t true-”

“Nick!” I was full out crying now, unable to stop everything; the pain, the tears, the blood, the way things were turning out. I was at the end of that tunnel now, finally able to reach the light, but there wasn’t any light without Nick. There never would be. “You can’t! You just- do you remember what you said to me?” He continued to stare at me, but I could tell he wanted so desperately to close his eyes, to just give up. I held his bloody hand tighter, moving my other one up to his face to cup his cheek. “You said you’d be here when this was all done. Well, it’s done, right? “ He didn’t say anything. I cried even harder. “Nick, hold on, okay? Hold on for me.”

I watched him through blurred, eager eyes, my heart beating faster when he slowly nodded.

“Lonnie,” a voice whispered from behind me. I turned my head quickly, glancing over at Eve before allowing my full attention to focus on Nick; my Nick. “Lonnie…”

“I’ll fix you, Nick,” I whispered. I slid my fingertips over his face, brushing the matted curls that stuck to his forehead, gently trailing over his parted lips. “I’ll make it better.”

“Lonnie, you can’t-” another voice tried to argue -- Mr. Cornell.

“I can!” I shouted, turning to see him standing by Eve. “I-I can…” My eyes settled on Nick again. He was starting to look pale, the whole front of his shirt now covered in blood, and he was cold. There was a lump in my throat, not allowing anymore noises to come out of my mouth. I watched his eyes flutter, only to open up and stare at me again, and then flutter some more. I was wasting time.

“I don’t think you can do anything for him,” was what Eve whispered, but I ignored her and anyone else that stood around, only focusing on Nick as I continued to clutch his hand. I wiped my tears away and focused on breathing. I let my fingers trace over his wound, gasping when he winced. My palm pressed flat against his stained skin, squeezing his hand as tight as I could.

“I need you, Nick,” I breathed. “I love you.”

I focused on Nick now, solely on making him better. No matter how weak I felt or how unstable I was, I focused.

“Lonnie, you could hurt yourself!” Mr. Cornell warned as my glow sparked, creating a friction that made my body feel like I was being shaken.

I didn’t care.

My eyes were shut tight and I held my breath, the light headed feeling coming back at full force. I could feel myself wanting to pass out. I wanted to fall asleep so desperately, but I wouldn’t. Not without Nick. I felt bolts shoot through me, as if I were being electrocuted, but they were leaving my body instead, quickly flowing into Nick’s. And I cried.

The bolts flew for moments, slowly dragging on, filling my body with a thumping pain. I didn’t know how much more I could take after everything. I watched his face with eager eyes, holding my breath. I wanted him to open his eyes, to look up at me with that smirk and tell me to stop crying because everything would be okay. But as the seconds passed, his body still unmoving, not even rising with a slow breath, I wondered if I had made it worse.

My eyes frantically searched his face for any sign of life, but there was none. I could feel the tears trail down my face, could see them drip onto Nick’s cheek through my blurry vision. The only thing I could do was squeeze his lifeless, bloody hand tighter and cry, softly letting the gasps out and into the open.

“Lonnie,” Eve whispered, and I recognized a quiver in her own voice. I couldn’t look away from him, though. “Lonnie, he’s…” No. I shook my head slowly, every part of me trembling with disbelief. He couldn’t be gone. He wasn’t gone. But, staring down at him, I was forced to believe he was.

“I-I-” I tried, only sobbing before I could even finish. I shut my eyes tight and slumped forward. “I didn’t even get to say goodbye…”

“Come on,” Mr. Cornell whispered. I could feel his hand gently grip my arm, tugging me into me feet and away from Nick. It was hard to let go of his hand, and when I did I watched it fall to his side.

“No…” It was a whimper this time, the tears refusing to leave. “I love you.” I hoped he heard that somehow, hoped he knew.

I could feel Mr. Cornell begin to pull me backwards, but I refused to look away from Nick. It wasn’t… real. It was a nightmare. Lucas wasn’t dead, he was taunting me. He had to be. And Jeremy… I glanced weakly over to where I had taken him down, but I saw nobody, and it made my reality crash down even harder.

I let my eyes trail slowly back over to Nick, locking on his face. He was just…

I saw him twitch. It had to be real; I wasn’t crazy.

Mr. Cornell was ready to turn me around and take me away, but I continued to stare at his face, everything in me freezing when I saw his eyes open.

“Nick!” I screamed, my voice filled with pain and excitement and relief. Everyone looked at me, startled, watching me with eyes that apologized for my sudden loss of sanity. But I didn’t care because it wasn’t true. “Nick!” I jerked away from Mr. Cornell’s grip and jolted forward, falling onto my knees almost immediately. But I didn’t care about that, either. I crawled over to him, his eyes wide and startled. His mouth opened with a deep gasp, his chest rising and falling swiftly.

When I reached him I pulled myself on top, resting my knees on either sides of his hips. He stared up at me and I couldn’t help smiling, even though my breathing was hysteric. I watched his eyes flicker down to his stomach, settling on all the blood, but the wound wasn’t oozing anymore. It seemed like it was almost closed. “Oh my god, Nick!” I cried out. He opened his mouth to speak, but I didn’t let him. I gripped his face between my hands, yanking his head forward as gently as I could, and leaning myself down the rest of the way. I smashed my lips onto his, catching him completely off guard by the way he gasped against my mouth, but I could only smile.

It was a miracle. Nick was alive and I was kissing him. I had saved him.

“Lonnie,” he groaned while his lips were smashed against mine. I didn’t let up.

“Hmm?” I hummed, kissing him frantically again. I could hear someone chuckle from behind us, so I opened my eyes and immediately saw how wide Nick’s were. They were wide, but they were bright.

“Lonnie,” he groaned again, beginning to pull away. I slid my hand from his cheek and into his thick curls, immediately wrapping them around my fingers. His lips stayed paused under my moving ones, but only for a moment before he leaned himself on his elbows, pressing his lips harder against mine. I didn’t care that the people around were watching me kiss Nick.

He lifted one of his arms and grazed his fingers over my arm before sliding it up to rest on my cheek. He was so warm again, so soft and beautiful. I finally pulled my lips back enough for us to breathe, but then I started to plant kisses all over his face, and I could feel his body shake with a little silent laughter. I had my Nick back.

“Nick! Nick, I… you-I didn’t-and you-” I struggled breathlessly when I pulled back again. His shining eyes stared up at me, the creases around his mouth showing as he smiled. I couldn’t describe the feeling of relief in me. But it was one of the best feelings I could have. “Oh, Nick!” I sighed, pressing my lips against his again. This time he kissed back immediately, even dropping his hand from my cheek to wrap his arm around my waist, pulling me down into him.

“I… I can’t believe this,” I heard Eve whisper in shock; I was amazed that I could hear anything above my pounding heart. “She… actually saved his life.”

Nick and I pulled away from the kiss at the same time, both of us hesitant, and we rested our foreheads together. He looked at me with an emotion that I didn’t quite recognize -- with adoration.

“You…” he started, shaking his head gently, “you didn’t give up on me.” His voice was a mere whisper, one that I had missed so terribly.

“You never gave up on me,” I whispered back, a wide smile covering my lips as I stared at him, the tears blurring my vision once again.

“I-” he started, “I, I don’t…” But he couldn’t make a complete sentence, and I found myself laughing.

“Mr. Jonas, are you speechless?”

He laughed a short, breathy laugh, a crooked smile covering his lips. “Your eyes are shining,” he whispered suddenly. I could feel another tear fall, but this one was because of happiness.

“Only for you,” I breathed, leaning closer until my lips gently touched his. “Only for you, Nick.”

He kissed me again then, and I knew it would be okay. We would be okay. Lucas was gone… forever; we had won. And Jeremy, well, wherever he was I knew he couldn’t hide for long; just like Coimbra, we’d find him eventually. But for now we had each other, all of us.. We were all together and we could finally breathe.

No one disturbed us as we held each other, me on his lap, sharing kisses and hugs. In fact, it was as if they just drifted away, knowing that we would be together for a while before I even took my eyes off of him, off Nick: my beautiful guiding light.

Nick held me close, his lips brushing against my ear as he spoke softly to me. “You are truly a light in the storm.” I smiled as he pulled back, his own smile covering his lips. “I love you, Lilliani Stewart,” he said to me. “I love you and I promise to stay with you forever.”

This was what I wanted. I had done everything to get up to this point, to feel a happiness so overwhelming that it had to be unreal. But that was the beauty of this, of us; this was real.

I pressed my lips to his, slowly pushing forward until he plopped down on his back, holding me to his chest, to my warmth. He was my Nick, my everything. And no matter what he believed, he was the true light in the storm.