Light in the Storm

Alone. That’s what I was. No sounds were made and nothing but trees were in sight. It looked as if everything around me was frozen, but the wind was harsh. I felt like I couldn’t breathe, the feeling caused by more than one factor. I was nervous, my breathing uneven. I felt like I was having a panic attack--the feeling was so familiar, like it had become constant lately. And I was scared. Nick wasn’t around… no one was.

The sky was clouded in a thick, dark residue, and the air didn’t feel clean. It was stuffy and hard to breathe, the fog around hot enough to make you sweat. The flowers weren’t bright and beautiful, they didn’t exist, and the grass was no longer green and soft, it was long and dark, the feeling rough against my bare legs. There wasn’t any source of light around… just my glow, and that was dim.

I stared down at my hands and tried to calm my breathing, but it didn’t happen. Instead, my heart rate sped up and my head began to whirl. I felt dizzy and sick, and part of me just wanted to curl up in a bawl and cry from a feeling I couldn’t understand. Distant screams erupted through the air and I shuddered, whimpering to myself. This wasn’t what I wanted to hear, cries of fear. Nothingness wasn’t what I wanted to see, either. I wanted to smile, but my lips hurt and it felt like I hadn’t in ages. I had pent up anger, tiny spaces in me having files with different names on them filled with hurt and rage. There was only one name that had me aching to have him back…

“You think you’ve won,” a voice sounded, a mere whisper. “but the game isn’t finished.”

Game? What game? I didn’t understand the words or where they were even coming from. Gulping, I let my hair whip around my face as I turned, frantically searching the trees for a person. Nobody

“W-what?” I whispered, backing up slowly. My legs got tangled up in the long blades of grass, but I managed not to fall. “Who’s there?” it was a stupid question to ask, but it was the only thing I could think of. The faint, deep voice didn’t answer, but my breath caught at the voice that did.

“Don’t let him intimidate you.”

That was Nick’s voice, Nick’s soft, beautiful, and husky voice. It was as if I hadn’t heard it in days. I immediately looked around, trying to focus my eyes on him. I grabbed the sleeve on my shirt and began to breathe heavily again, spinning around to see him. I had to see him.

“Lonnie…” he whispered this time, his voice tired, ragged almost. My eyes settled on a figure in the distance, a shadow casting heavily. And then he stepped closer. I sucked in a breath, my eyes widening at the sight.

Nick's curls were a thick mess, sticking up every which way with the few perfect ringlets falling onto his forehead. His skin looked paler than usual, the brown dirt smudges contrasting from the black and purple bruises. I blinked in surprise and allowed my eyes to dance over his face. His jaw was tightened and his lips looked dry and raw, like he had been chewing on them constantly. His chocolate eyes looked darker and the purplish color underneath made him look worn. He looked… thinner, almost sickly. His muscles were still in tact and flexed with his stress, but… it scared me. He looked like he could fall over at any second.

Nick swallowed hard and took a shaky step forward, still managing to look graceful. I took another shaky breath and reached my hand out to him, but he was so far away. His head snapped up suddenly, his eyes focusing on the large black cloud that flew overhead. And I couldn’t see anything.

I shot up, the blanket around me falling onto the floor with a small thump. I looked around the dully lit room, the sun barely peeking through the blinds. My breathing was uneven and it felt like I hadn’t been to sleep at all. But I had been and I had just woken up… from a nightmare. I glanced around the room warily, allowing my eyes to scan it’s emptiness.

My desk was cluttered with papers and books; school assignments, textbooks, random doodles, notes, books about witches and wolves, some sketches of Nick as a wolf. I remembered when mom would work at the table, drawing what I now knew to be the great wolf. It was amazing and with practice, I hoped to be just as good. When Nick looked through them, he was speechless. He said they were amazing and I always thanked him. But they were only amazing because he was such an intriguing creature to draw. Maybe I could even do a portrait of him in human form.

My floor was covered in clothes; shirts and pants and dresses that I had been too lazy to hang up piled in different places. I suddenly didn’t like how empty it looked. Bending over the bed, I picked up the blanket and stared at the scene that played out on it. The beautiful wolf and the girl with her back turned. I couldn’t help but smile at it. It still smelled like my mom, even though it had been packed away for so long. Leaving it out while I was away brought out her flowery smell. I missed it.

Sighing heavily, I ran my fingers through my knotted hair and glanced at the clock: 5:30. Stretching, I flung my stiff legs over the side of the bed and stood, slowly making my way over to the door. The room was chilly and I should’ve known better than to go to bed with shorts on. I didn’t feel like changing after Nick left. Actually, I had fallen asleep before he had.

All I remembered was watching a movie my dad had brought home. He was sitting in his recliner, staring intently at the TV. He left the couch to me and Nick and although Nick wasn’t big on too much affection--especially not in front of my dad--he still let me cuddle with him. He didn’t want to go over the same argument again and he said he’d try harder. I remembered being so comfortable with him that I couldn’t even move, but I wasn’t so far gone that I didn’t feel him carry me up to my room. I only wished he stayed.

Taking the steps slowly, I tried to readjust my eyes to the brighter living room. The TV was on, naturally, but I didn’t see dad. He had to be at the kitchen table reading today’s newspaper already. He had quit his job at the printing company and took one at a factory instead, but the paper was still delivered early for him. It was a win-win for him. Dad was such a dork, but I loved him.

My feet padded against the cool floor of the kitchen and I rubbed my eyes, giving him a lazy smile when he turned around, the chair creaking with his movements. His hair was a mess, a result from his constant tossing and turning at night, and his glasses were askew on his nose. He never really got into the primping mode until after he read his paper, drank his coffee, and watched TV. That’s my dad. But more than anything, I knew he missed mom. He was just strong… for both of us.

“Hey kiddo. What’re you doing up? You have another half-hour before you start getting ready for school,” he mumbled, finally fixing his glasses so he could see the clock. I managed a brighter smile despite my disturbed thoughts. I didn’t want to think about the dream, but I had to tell him. If I started screaming again, he’d want to know.

“I had a nightmare,” I mumbled groggily, clearing my dry throat. He gave me a concerned look and set his paper down, motioning me to sit down. I walked to the cabinet first and grabbed a bowl and then a spoon, pouring my cereal and milk into it before taking my seat.

“I thought you stopped.”

“I did…” Were they going to start back up again? And did they mean anything like the previous ones had? I shuddered just thinking about how that could really happen to Nick… but I knew it wouldn’t I gulped.

“Maybe you just had a lot on your mind,” he smiled reassuringly, sensing my worry.

“Maybe,” I laughed nervously, rubbing my arm. I shoved my spoon into the cereal and took a bite, slowly chewing on it. He watched me, trying to think of something to say. After taking another bite and glancing around the messy kitchen, I decided to speak instead. “Dad, can I… talk to you about something?” I muttered after swallowing. He smiled encouragingly and nodded. “It’s… about Nick.”

He looked confused but decided not to jump to any conclusions. “Sure Lonnie.”

Taking a breath, I left my spoon in the cereal, not caring if it got soggy. I wasn’t exactly in the mood to eat anyway. “He thinks he’s here too much.” I decided to start, curling my hair around my finger.

“I don’t think so. He’s always welcome.”

“I know, I told him that. And when I asked him if he had a place to stay, he said yeah… but I don’t think he really does.”

I knew it probably wasn’t any of my business. For all I knew, Nick could be living in some mansion. I highly doubted that, though. And I didn’t want him to be alone. Maybe I was being too nosy.

“You don’t think so? Then where does he stay?” he muttered, confusion sweeping over his features.

“He’s a wolf, dad. He has animal instincts. He isn’t afraid to sleep outside or run around at night. And, I don’t know… I guess I just don’t like him being so alone.”

“He sleeps outside? What about his family?”

“They live in the village, dad. It’s too far away from here.” That wasn’t necessarily true. The village was deep in the forest, sure, but that wasn’t a long ways from my house. It was the fact that it was too far away from me, and then he’d be too far away for me. Things were complicated.

“Well,” he sighed, rubbing his chin. He had slight stubble and I could tell it bugged him. Mom hated facial hair and he had gotten so used to shaving it early; he couldn’t stop. “I suppose he could… stay here,” he muttered, pushing his glasses back up.

I must have been like a Christmas tree because even I could feel my eyes light up and a wide smile spread across my lips. I was never a morning person, but good news changed things.

“Really daddy?” I asked eagerly, biting my lip when he sighed.

“I’m not too enthused about having a teenage boy that happens to be my teenage daughter’s boyfriend living under the same roof as her, but yes, I mean it. Nicholas is a great boy…”

“Thanks dad,” I whispered, leaning forward to kiss his cheek. He smiled, sighing heavily.

“You know…when you first told me about all of this, I didn’t know how to take it. I guess I always knew something was off about your mother--the way she was so beautiful and happy and caring. It didn’t make sense for her to love me, but she always reassured me that she did. She always took charge. We were young… only a few years older than you and Nick when we talked about marriage. I didn’t expect her to agree as quickly as she did. And then a few years later, she brought up having children. I didn’t know why it had interested her so quickly… but since you told me about the council and it’s rules, it all makes sense.

“I loved your mother with all my heart, Lonnie. She completed me; I guess that’s what a real soul mate is. I don’t know anything about witches and wolves, but I know that the love of my life and my precious daughter share something so amazing. And you’re already engaged with Nick… I know he’ll always protect you. It’s so unreal. Just last year you were fifteen years old moving into high school as a normal girl, as my baby. But now… you seem so grown up. You’re sixteen, a sophomore, engaged. And look at you-- you’re starting to look like a young woman. It’s terrifying.”

I bit my lip and took in his words, cracking my knuckles nervously.

“I just want to say thank you… for everything. You’ve been so supportive and I know this is hard, it’s hard for me too. But I love you dad and I wouldn’t ask for anyone else to raise me.”

He smiled and I thought I saw him blush a little, and I smiled back. I really didn’t know where I’d be without him. I sighed and snapped back to the present, excitement filling me.

“So I can ask him if he wants to stay?”

“Yes,” he replied, chuckling when I squealed.

“Oh, thank you daddy! This is going to be great!” I jumped out of my chair and almost tripped as I hurried forward, brushing my hair back. But he stopped me.

“Are you going to be wearing those shorts around him often?” he called out, turning his head to face me. His eyebrows were raised and his lips were pursed, his scrawny arms crossed over his chest. I looked down and blushed, rolling my eyes.

Maybe…

[&&light]

I really didn’t know how to go about asking Nick to stay. One: he’d get angry for me even thinking about it, most likely. Two: he’d get angry for me asking my dad before mentioning it to him. And three: he’d probably be a little freaked out. But I had to convince him… or at least leave it as an open opportunity.

I smoothed down my top before pulling on my sweatshirt, brushing my hair back. Sighing, I flung the bag over my shoulder and glanced out the window, smiling when Nick’s mustang pulled up. It was now or never. Bounding down the steps, I called out a goodbye to dad. He finally got a day off today. He’d probably spend it watching movies. I held back a laugh.

I stepped out the door and shivered as soon as the cool air hit, hugging myself a little tighter. Nick kept the car running, knowing I’d be out as soon as I saw him pull into the driveway. He really did know me better than I knew myself. I hurried across the short distance and smiled at the fact that he had reached over and opened the door for me, smiling softly. I slid in and shut the door tightly, immediately feeling warmer.

“Hi,” I laughed nervously, buckling myself in.

“Morning,” he muttered somewhat groggily. Nick wasn’t a morning person either.

“So… how’d you sleep?” He glanced over at me curiously, shrugging slowly.

“Like I always do.”

He wasn’t going to tell me where he slept and I didn’t bother asking. That would be kind of weird. But it made me realize that I had to ask, that I wanted to ask. I was completely nervous. What was the big deal? We’d live together soon, anyway. Why not get an early glimpse?

My glow got a little brighter when he pressed his lips to my cheek, his own flushing slightly. He revved the engine while I sneaked a glance at him and he backed out of the drive swiftly. We rode down the street in silence, my eyes scanning over the passing trees and few small houses. I opened my mouth several times, but nothing came out. Nick was off in his own little world, his face almost blank as he concentrated on driving.

After a few more moments of silence, he pulled into the parking lot, the many cars and students surrounding. I sighed heavily and pushed my bangs back, biting my lip. That’s when he cut the ignition and spoke.

“What’s on your mind?” His voice held more of a statement than a question.

“Huh?” I muttered, twisting in my seat. I twisted my face up with confusion, but he didn’t buy it.

“You want to talk about something. Go on…” He tried to be encouraging, but I could tell he was nervous about what I was going to say. He didn’t know if it was going to be another argument or not; if he messed up somehow; or if I just wanted to talk. I didn’t know about any of those possibilities either though.

Just… ask him. Let it out.

I inhaled deeply and leaned forward, taking in his beauty. “Where do you go to sleep at night? And when you aren’t busy during the day?” I muttered, focusing all my attention on him. He tensed up without thinking and I knew I was right. He didn’t have anywhere to go.

I knew Nick liked to roam around as a wolf during the day. It had a sense of freedom to it. And I also knew he’d read about our world, getting to know our futures a little better. There wasn’t an exact ceremony when brought into the title of great witch or great wolf. There was usually a get-together, like we had learned before, but since Nick and I were together… and we were both held titles, that meant that we’d get our titles officially on our… wedding day. I needed to focus though.

“I…” he started, not sure what to say.

“You don’t have any place to go, do you Nick?” I whispered, watching him bite his lip.

“I do have a place to go,” he said sternly, knitting his eyebrows together.

“Then why don’t you go there?”

“Who says I don’t?” he snapped. I shut my mouth and sat back some, knitting my own eyebrows together.

“Why are you so touchy? I’m just asking-”

“No, you’re assuming.”

“Do you sleep in that shack? Because I know you don’t like being alone anymore, no matter what you say. And you definitely don’t go back to your family… it’s too far.” He stayed silent for a moment, turning his head to glance at all the passing students. The bell would probably ring soon, but we were far from done here. “Nick, just tell me if you don’t. It’s not a big deal.”

“Yes it is,” he snapped again, his eyes a little darker. Some things just really bugged him.

“So you don’t have a place to go…why didn’t you just tell me?” I asked softly, turning to face him a little more. He looked down, scratching his head.

“Because. How does it look to tell you I have no place to go when I’m supposed to be the strong one? What kind of a man is that?” His voice was stressed and he hit his hands against the steering wheel in frustration.

“Ah, Nick,” I shook my head, smiling sadly. “Don’t say that. You’re a real man, you really are. Look at how many times you’ve protected me, been there for me, made me smile. Not having a place to sleep has nothing to do with the way you are. And you tough it out in the forest, that shows that you’re set on anything.” I reached my hand out but he turned away. “Come on Nick.”

He turned to face me with those innocent eyes and I smiled, pushing his stray curls away with my fingers, only to have them fall back down. I curled my fingers around his cheek, rubbing my thumb over his full lips. I could feel his cheek heat up under my hand, able to see his blush. I couldn’t help but smile and giggle a little, my own cheeks flushing when he pulled my hand away from his face to twist his fingers with mine.

“Well, you’re in luck Jonas. I just so happen to know you like the back of my hand, so I asked my dad and he said that you could stay with us.” I stared at him, waiting for him to yell, but he stayed blank. His silence was eating at me and I wondered if he was even listening.

“Why?” he whispered, his eyes meeting mine.

“Why what?” I questioned back, scratching my head.

“Why would you ask that? Why would you even consider that?” His voice wasn’t clear of any emotion. Now I was confused.

“I asked him because I knew you would never admit that you needed some place to stay, and I asked because… well, I don’t know. I just think that it could be some type of bonding for us,” I shrugged, looking down at my hands. “I’m stupid, right? Go ahead and say it.”

There was another pause and I sighed heavily, looking out the window. I could hear the bell ring faintly and the remaining kids hurried towards the building. I saw Josh and Anna entering the doors slowly, their mouths moving quickly, like they were having an argument. I felt Nick’s hand grip my chin suddenly, my eyes settling on my glowing hands, and he forced me to look at him.

“You aren’t stupid,” he muttered, his eyes locking mine. "And, umm, thanks… for doing that, but I don’t know…” he trailed off, running his other hand through his hair before placing it on my cheek. His touch seemed to make my heart beat faster and, as I stared into his soft eyes, waiting for him to continue. He breathed deeply, licking his lips. But no words came out.

“Say something,” I begged, but he continued to stare. “What?”

“Nothing. I just… I can’t stay with you. I can’t impose like that.”

“Oh, shut up. It’s not imposing and you know it. When we get married, we're going to have to live together. Don’t you want to see how it’ll be now?” I could hear the smile in my own voice.

“You sound like you’re excited about this,” he mumbled skeptically, leaning back to rest his head on the window, his hand still in mine.

“Well? I kind of am. I mean, just look at it this way: it’ll be just like a sleepover. I never really had a sleepover before.” I grinned, giggling when he rolled his eyes.

“You can’t compare this to a sleepover. I’d be there for more than just one night.”

“I know! That’s the exciting part,” I snorted, rolling my eyes as if it were obvious. I loved messing around with him. “So… will you stay with us?” I asked softly, getting no response. “Please?” I begged, pouting out my bottom lip.

“Oh, don’t do that,” he hissed, groaning.

“Oh, please Nick? Please?” I begged again, raising my voice. His cheeks turned a rosy color at my words and I didn’t even bother asking. I whined a little; I knew he found this amusing. I wasn’t usually like this, but it was one way to bring Nick out. I’d do anything for him and I wasn’t sure if he knew that, but I did. I leaned forward and flung my arms around his neck, my face inches from his. “Please!”

“Would you stop it?” he growled, trying to push me away, but he ended up laughing lightly. I loved that sound.

“Not until you say you’ll stay.”

“Lonnie, that’s not fair,” he sighed, finally managing to pull my arms away from him.

“Why not?”

“You know I’d like to say yes. We just talked about how being away from you isn’t something I’m fond of, but I don’t think it’s a good idea,” he shook his head, pushing up the sleeves of his shirt.

“Why not? I promise it won’t be awkward. Just give it a chance?”

“Uhhh,” he bit his lip. “We’ll talk about it later. You’re already late for class.”

I smiled brightly and nodded. I pressed my lips to his quickly, taking my time kissing him. He tensed up at first but it didn’t take long for him to kiss back, his fingers brushing back my hair as he cupped my cheek. I couldn’t help sigh into it and lean on him, locking my arms around his torso. I rubbed my hands over his back softly, the soft cotton material of his shirt making me feel a little antsy for some reason.

He pulled back and cleared his throat, nodding towards the door. I sighed and gave him one last smile, grabbing my bag and flinging it over my shoulder. Opening the car door, I leaned forward, only to feel his hand grab my wrist. I turned a little, his soft features making my heart flutter.

“I love you,” he said seriously, trying to relax a little. It was too cute.

“I love you too.”

[&&light]

“I was thinking you could come over some time, you know? We haven’t really talked much and I miss you. Maybe we could even go to the mall!” Anna grinned, following me down the hall. I could feel Josh’s eyes on me in the distance but I ignored him and smiled at Anna.

“Umm, yeah. That’d be cool. I’ll see when I have some time.”

“You sound like you’re always so busy,” she giggled. “You and Nick must do a lot.”

“Huh?” I muttered, spinning the combination on the lock. I glanced at her in confusion, pulling open my locker with a squeak.

“Well… you said he gave you a promise ring, right? Doesn’t that mean that you’ve, well, you know…”

My eyes widened and I slammed the locker, my face flushed. “No!” I hissed. “Why would you even ask that?”

“I don’t know. Josh keeps going off about how you two aren’t going to make it together, but I think you are,” she shrugged, playing with her hair.

I sighed and shook my head, offering her another smile, but now I felt all weird. “Umm, do you know why he’s so hung up on this?”

“He says he likes you a lot. I’ve never seen Josh care about someone so much, but he needs to get over it. You and Nick are pretty serious.” If she only knew…

“Do you think you could talk to him for me, please?” I asked softly. “I’d like to be his friend again, but only if he lays off.” I didn’t want to be too harsh.

“I’ll talk to him. See you later,” she smiled, waving me off.

I sighed and hurried into the parking lot, my eyes immediately settling on Nick’s car. I loved how things seemed so… normal. It was weird and I never thought that word would be in my life, but it was refreshing. I actually felt like a teenager. It was nice.

“Hey Nick,” I smiled, quickly sliding into the car. He smiled back but started up the car without a word and pulled out of the lot. I furrowed my eyebrows and stared at him in confusion, wondering why he was being so silent. It wasn’t too odd, but he hadn’t even said hello yet. He looked deep in thought, but ready to get something off his chest at the same time. Something told me not to spoil the silence.

I watched the familiar trees pass by as he drove the sleek car easily. I ran my fingers through my hair, trying to think about what was getting him into such a serious mood. It could be many things--Nick was a serious and complex and beautiful being. I blushed.

The car stopped suddenly and I realized we were in the driveway, dad’s car parked in the same spot. I turned to face him, listening to the drumming of his fingers as he sighed.

“I was thinking…” he started in a soft voice, “that maybe you’re right. Maybe we could work a lot easier if I…”

“Stayed with us?” I finished, biting back a smile. He nodded slowly.

“I mean, if it’s still ok-”

Before he could even finish I pulled him into a hug, burying my face into his warm neck. He hesitated but only for a moment before wrapping his strong arms around me. I snuggled as close as I could, ignoring the middle compartment that was stabbing into my stomach. I didn’t care. I could feel his lips press against my forehead and I felt my glow get even brighter, allowing myself to inhale his scent.

This would be interesting.