Drive Fast Until We Crash

It’s come to the end of November, and things have been tense lately because Zack still hasn’t accepted Paul. To be fair, Martin’s been spending a lot of time with Paul that he would normally have spent with Zack, but that doesn’t mean he should be grumpy and snappy all the time. It’s hard for me too, because I’ve been friends with both Martin and Zack since I was a little kid, and I don’t like how they aren’t talking much.

Today’s a Friday and I have to go to work tonight, but I’m hanging out at Mike’s dad’s house with Jack, Rian, William and Mike. School finished an hour ago. We were just playing video games when we heard a load banging on the door.

“Uh, I’ll get it,” Mike frowned.

I frowned too. No-one else was meant to be coming today. We heard Mike talking to someone, and then footsteps. Mike reappeared with Zack.

“Hey, we weren’t expecting you,” William said cheerfully.

“Neither was I,” Zack grumbled, sitting down next to me and Jack.

“What’s wrong?” Rian frowned.

“Nothing okay?” Zack muttered.

Mike fake-sneezed. We all looked at him, confused.

“I’m allergic to bullshit,” Mike said dead-pan, staring at Zack.

I snorted, but quickly turned it into a cough. This was not a time for laughing. Zack sighed and ran his hands through his hair, looking defeated.

“Martin and I were meant to be hanging out today after school. But I waited for him outside school, for fucking ages, until I get a text saying ‘sorry, can’t hang today, with Paul’. He fucking ditched me for Paul without even telling me before!” Zack seethed.

I winced, not liking how Martin acted. That’s just plain harsh.

“Did you reply?” Jack asked hesitantly.

“Of course I fucking didn’t!” Zack shot back.

“Alright Z, calm down,” I frowned.

Zack scowled but took a deep breath.

“Has Martin done this a lot?” William asked softly.

“Yeah, ever since Paul fucking Digiovanni showed up it’s like I’m not good enough to be his friend anymore,” Zack spat.

“Hey, that’s not true,” Mike frowned.

“You sure about that? Because all I see is that he’s cancelling everything to do with me to hang out with that new rich motherfucking asswipe,” Zack snarled.

“Calm down, Zack,” Rian said firmly.

“I can’t calm down! I can’t take it anymore how he treats me! I just...I want...”

My jaw dropped as Zack’s voice cracked and tears started pouring down his face. He quickly got up and stormed out of Mike’s bedroom and into the bathroom across the hall, slamming the door shut.

“Shiiiiiit,” Jack groaned.

“My bet is Martin hasn’t got a fucking clue what he’s done,” William sighed.

“I second that,” Mike nodded.

“I’ll go talk to him,” Rian said sadly.

“Me too,” I nodded.

Rian and I stood up, walking out of the room and over to the bathroom. Rian turned the door handle, it wasn’t locked, and opened the door, revealing Zack curled in a ball in the floor, his head resting on the toilet seat. My heart broke a little at the true sadness on his face, tears still streaming steadily. Rian shut the door and we walked over to Zack, sitting down either side of him.

“What’s going on, Zack?” I asked quietly.

“I don’t know,” he whimpered.

“I think you do,” Rian murmured.

Zack buried his face in the crook of Rian’s neck, starting to sob. I ran my hand up and down Zack’s back, trying to sooth him. Never had we seen Zack like this. Never. He was usually so strong, so laid back, but this recent ultra-aggressiveness and now him crying? Something wasn’t right. When Zack’s sobs had quietened down, he lifted his head, wiping his face dry with his hands.

“I’m s-sorry,” he choked, not looking at either of us.

“There’s nothing to apologise for,” Rian reassured him.

“Now how about you tell us what’s really going on?” I asked softly.

Zack licked his lips and nodded.

“You know I said I’ve had a lot on my mind, right?” Zack started, looking at both me and Rian.

We nodded our heads.

“I’ve been thinking...thinking about Martin. A lot of stuff about Martin,” Zack said so quietly I strained to hear it.

Rian and I were silent for a second or two.

“Zack...do you like Martin?” Rian finally asked.

I gasped quietly as Zack nodded, tears starting to fall from his eyes again.

“Since when?” I asked.

“I don’t know. For a while I guess. And especially since Halloween. I didn’t want to accept it because he’s my best friend and I didn’t want to ruin that, and I was just so frustrated and confused. And then that new rich shit Digiovanni moves here and everything gets worse. I can’t lose Martin. I can’t,” Zack rambled, the emotion rising in his voice getting higher and higher.

“You won’t lose him, Zack, but only if you talk to him about this,” I insisted.

“I can’t talk to him,” Zack said furiously.

“What Lex means is that you need to talk to him about ditching you and stuff. You don’t have to talk to him about how you feel. Not yet,” Rian said quickly.

“Not until you’re ready,” I nodded.

Rian sent me a look, but I ignored it. I knew what he was trying to say – he wants me to talk to Jack about how I feel for him. But I can’t. Not yet. Not until I’m ready.

“I guess that could work,” Zack sniffed.

“That’s the Zack we know and love. Now come out and play some video games with us before Lex leaves for work,” Rian smiled.

Zack nodded and dried his face again, shakily standing up with Rian and I supporting him.

“Thanks guys. Really. Can we not tell anyone what I said about...Martin?” Zack asked quietly.

“If you don’t want us to, we won’t,” I promised.

“Thanks,” Zack said gratefully.

The three of us left the bathroom and went back into Mike’s room. Zack took a seat next to where I sat down next to Jack, acting as if nothing had happened, and Mike gladly handed him a controller to play Mario Kart against William.

“What was that about?” Jack whispered in my ear.

I blushed lightly at the feeling of his hot breath on my neck.

“Nothing you need to worry about,” I replied quietly.

Jack frowned lightly but nodded. As much as I hated keeping a secret from Jack, this was something that Zack needed to do by himself.