Drive Fast Until We Crash

A few days have passed since the horrible day Jack decided to ignore us all. I don’t know what William said to him after school but I do know that it worked because Jack is back to acting just like he was before, like nothing had happened. I suspect that William told him about my brother and my dad. That’s the only thing that I can think of that would shock Jack into being our friend again. But whatever, it doesn’t matter. I have my best friend back.

Yeah, kinda weird how I consider Jack as my best friend, huh? But I guess it’s because we hang out a lot after school when I’m not working, and he’s always round when Zack, Rian and Mike are round, and it’s awesome how we all get along. But right now it’s just me and Jack. I have a night off from the restaurant, Mike’s on a date, Zack’s with Martin and Bill, and Rian’s working at Walmart. Jack and I have been playing on the Xbox 360 that William and Martin bought me for my birthday last year (which I told them was ridiculously expensive and they shouldn’t have), and I’m kicking his ass on Mario Kart.

“Come on, come on!” I shouted excitedly.

“No, I won’t let you win!” Jack grunted.

I chewed my bottom lip as I got closer to the finish line, and punched my fist in the air as I crossed it seconds before he did! Jack groaned and put his controller down on the sofa, rolling his eyes playfully as I did my happy dance.

“And that’s 10 games in a row to me!” I grinned.

“Yeah, yeah, no-one like’s a boaster,” Jack retorted, poking his tongue out.

I laughed and poked my tongue back at him, turning the Xbox off.

“Want to watch a film?” I asked.

“Sure, I need a break from having my ass kicked,” Jack chuckled.

I grinned and reached for my favourite movie of all time. Fight Club. If Jack doesn’t like this film, then he’s mad!

“What are you putting in?” Jack asked curiously.

I showed him the DVD cover.

“Fight club, awesome! I love this film!” Jack said excitedly.

“Good, coz we were gonna watch it even if you didn’t,” I grinned.

Jack laughed, making me laugh as I pressed play. His laugh is infectious. I sat down on the sofa and rested my head in Jack’s lap as the movie started, as I always did. Jack laughed and slung his arm over my chest, as he always did. But as seconds, minutes, an hour passed, I found myself paying less and less attention to the movie and more to Jack. Subtly of course. His hand rested on my shoulder and I had the sudden urge to lace my fingers with his. Woah, what the fuck? I resisted that urge, turning back to watch the film. What’s happening to me? Jack’s arm shifted, making me notice the warmth his skin gave. What would it be like to have both his arms wrapped around me? Again, woah! Why am I thinking like this?! Come on Alex...think girls...think breasts...think ass....Jack has a nice ass...WTF?!

“You okay Lex?” Jack asked softly.

I looked up at him, confused.

“Yeah, why?” I asked as calmly as I could.

“You look like you’re angry at something,” Jack explained.

Damn, was I that easy to read?

“Nah, I’m just thinking about something,” I shrugged.

“If you’re sure,” Jack laughed.

His laugh caused butterflies to erupt in my stomach. Okay, something’s definitely wrong. Since when do I get these reactions because of Jack? Since when do I feel this way about a guy?! My thoughts carried me right until the movie ended, me not even realising. Then Jack’s cellphone rang, and he lifted my head so he could get up and reach it. I sat upright as he read his text.

“It’s my driver, he’s outside and wants me to hurry because there’s a scary looking bunch of kids hanging across the street,” Jack snorted.

“That’s just the Hannigans. They’re harmless,” I chuckled.

“Still, I’d better go. This has been fun, thanks for having me round,” Jack grinned.

“Any time, Jack, you know that,” I nodded, beaming.

We walked to my front door and Jack gave me a man hug goodbye, before leaving. I shut the door quickly, leaning against it as I tried to get rid of thinking that I wanted a longer hug. What’s going on with me? I thought over all the stuff that I’d been feeling, and it formed into one conclusion. One completely crazy but completely logical conclusion. I like Jack.

“I like Jack,” I whispered.

I scrambled into my bedroom and picked up my sidekick, quickly scrolling down to the only person that I knew would hear me out before talking. Rian. One ring. Two rings. Three rings. Four...

Rian: Hey Lex, what’s up?
Alex: IthinkIlikeJack.
Rian: Woah, slow down. What?
Alex: I think I like Jack. As more than a friend.

Rian was silent. I chewed my bottom lip, feeling like an idiot. Rian cleared his throat.

Rian: Talk to me.

So I did. I told him about how when Jack and I hung out alone today, I wanted to hold Jack’s hand. How I wanted to lie wrapped up in Jack’s arms. I told him about how Jack’s smile and laughter made my stomach swirl with butterflies. I told him how Jack and I nearly kissed way back in October, and how I wished we had done. And I told him how I’ve been thinking about the spin the bottle kiss ever since Halloween.

Rian: Wow, fuck. That’s a lot of thinking. Are you sure about this?

I knew Rian didn’t mean it in a harsh way. He’s only looking out for me.

Alex: More sure than I’ve been about anything. I think I’m bi. No, I know I’m bi, Rian.
Rian: Then you’ve got to tell Jack how you feel.
Alex: B-But I don’t want him to reject me!

Rian sighed, staying silent for a few seconds.

Rian: Okay, I can see your point. Jack does get defensive about his sexuality. Uh, okay, I’ve got a better idea.
Alex: Tell me!
Rian: I was about to! How about...you announce to the group about your sexuality so he has time to get used to the idea. And then subtly flirt with him, to see what his reactions are. So the idea of you is planted in his head. And then when the time is right, take a chance on him.

I stayed silent, processing the plan. That could work actually.

Rian: You okay?
Alex: Yeah, just thinking. This plan could work.
Rian: Of course it will, I’m the one that thought of it.
Alex: Fuck you’re full of yourself.
Rian: You love it.

I couldn’t help but laugh. I knew calling Rian was a good idea.

Alex: I’m gonna go now, but thanks. Really.
Rian: Any time brah. See you tomorrow.
Alex: See you!

I hung up the phone and laid down on my bed, curling into a ball with a grin on my face. I’m bisexual. And I like Jack. Fuck, even just thinking that makes me feel warm and fuzzy like a Hallmark card. All I can hope is that this plan will work.