Brompton Cocktail

"There's nothing we can do, Mr. Sanders," Dr. Finelli said sympathetically.

"Doc," Matt said, "I'm dying. There has to be something." Matt was only 28 years old. To be told he was in the final stages of kidney cancer was the worst thing to ever happen to him.

"If we caught it sooner-" The doctor tried saying but Matt interrupted.

"But you didn't. And now I have to live out my last month feeling so compromised and dehumanized I won't be able to feel normal in the slightest bit." Matt stood up and stomped out of the office, getting into his car and driving home.

I should've known it was bad news when he called and told me to come here, he thought. Now I need to tell everyone I'm dying. He drove home with nothing but music in the car. He wasn't sure how to say it when they all asked why the doctor had called. Once he pulled into the driveway, he cut the engine and just stared at the house. After about five minutes he got out and slowly walked up the path. He opened the door and immediately saw everyone sitting in the living room. They all watched him expectantly, but his expression must have given off that he had bad news. His wife, Valary, was already scared of what her husband was about to say. He sighed and sat down, leaning foward on the edge of his seat. He kept folding and unfolding his hands.

"Just say it, Matt," Zack said quietly. Matt looked down to avoid their gazes.

"I'm in the final stages of kidney cancer," Matt said, his voice cracking on the last word. "A tumor had grown and no one ever caught it."

"Final stages meaning...," Johnny asked but trailed off.

"There's no way to cure it, and I only have the next month." Val's eyes formed tears and she ran out of the room to retreat to the room she shared with Matt. He continued. "As the time gets closer to ending, I will start feeling pain and eventually I'll have to stay bed ridden." All of his three best friends stared at him.

"This has to be some sick joke," Brian said with a little hope in his tone. Matt shook his head.

"It's not. I mean I'm sorry, guys-"

"You have no reason to be sorry," Zacky murmured. "It just sucks cos we lost Jimmy almost only five months ago, and now we're gonna lose you in an estimated thirty days."

"I know," was all Matt could say. They sat there in silence for a good fifteen minutes until Valary walked back in with puffy red eyes and mascara streaks covering her cheeks.

"We'll go, man, but we'll be back tomorrow to do... whatever," Johnny said as they all got up and left. Brian stayed back, standing in front of Matt. He embraced him in a tight hug. After a few seconds, they let go and Brian went with the others. After the front door shut, Matt stared at Val for a few seconds before taking her hand and sitting on the couch with him holding her tight against his side.

"I love you so much, Matt," she whispered. "I can't lose you."

"You're not losing me-" Matt tried saying but Valary looked up at him with a slight glare.

"You are dying, Matthew," she said, her voice breaking in the middle. "How am I not losing you?" He leaned down and kissed the top of her head.

"Don't think about it," he murmured against her hair. "Just enjoy the last days we have together." She nodded and rested her head on his chest, closing her eyes. Matt was trying his hardest to put off that he understands he's dying. In all actuality, he's so scared to know he's losing everything he's worked for. His career, his wife, his friends; all of that is going to disappear.

The days wore on, and Matt spent as much time with everyone as possible. Valary went through at least two crying spells a day, and Matt hated seeing her like that. After two weeks passed, Matt started to feel the pain the doctor was talking about. He went to Dr. Finelli's office to ask him about it.

"Is there anything I can do to make the pain go away," Matt asked, cringing a little at his throbbing abdomen.

"At your stage, no..." The doctor's eyes furrowed. "There is one thing, but it's rarely used, I'm sure you've never heard of it." Matt thought for a moment.

"What about a Brompton cocktail?" The doctor looks shocked.

"That's what I was talking about. It was used more in the late 19th and early 20th century, but it would work for your sickness. Do you want that?"

"Whatever gets rid of the pain, Doc." The doctor smiled at the nickname and walked out, shutting the door behind him. Matt hung his head and took a few deep breaths. After about fifteen minutes, Dr. Finelli walked back in with a bottle and a shot glass. He handed the small cup to Matt and poured some of the mixture in.

"Take that and two more. Then you'll need someone to drive you home just in case." Matt nodded and downed it, tasting cherry syrup and gin. The doctor filled it twice after that, and Matt took it both times without hesitation. Then he called Brian to pick him up and take him home. When Brian's SUV pulled into the parking lot, Matt walked out and climbed into the passenger seat. Without saying anything, Brian backed out and drove. Five minutes passed without either of them talking before Matt decided to speak.

"Why won't you talk to me," he asked. "Ever since you found out, you haven't talked to me as much as you used to."

"I'm not gonna force myself to talk to you more than I already am," Brian said, staring forward from behind his shades. He glanced at Matt before saying, "I just can't believe you're gonna..." He shook his head, making the thought go away.

"None of us can, Bri. None of us knew this was happening." They went back to staying quiet as Brian drove the rest of the way to Matt and Val's place. He pulled into the driveway and walked into the house with Matt. He stood there awkwardly as Valary walked over and kissed Matt with a smile on her face.

"Was he able to give you something to take care of the pain," she asked, trying to hide her emotions. She hated knowing her husband was in pain because of this.

"Yeah, a Brompton cocktail," he said, sounding amused by this. Brian smiled a bit.

"Funny how you wrote a song named that," he said. Matt smirked at him before looking back at Val. After about an hour Brian left so Matt and Valary were alone.

"I'm gonna go take a shower, okay, babe," she asked. Matt nodded so she kissed him and walked down the hall to the bathroom. After she closed the door he quietly ran to the bedroom and went through his dresser drawer.

I'll take my life tonight.

He took the pistol out and checked that it was loaded.

'Cause I have the right to die how I wanna.

He put it to his head.

And leave how I arrived.

He pulled the trigger.

So alive.