Keep the Faith

The morning air blew on my exposed skin softly. I hardly felt its coldness for I was wearing my favorite leather jacket.

I was at home at last. I was so glad that I have never forgotten of this place. Wind passed through my hair as I faced its way. New Jersey, you still seemed like it.

I made my way quickly to the other side of the street as the traffic lights hit red. I sighed, emitting a white cloud out from my mouth.

I was heading towards the park. It was the place where I just hang out and thought of things. I really needed some space. For the past years, everything had been loud and complicated that I couldn’t find the silence that would content me.

My foot left the concrete sidewalk and placed itself on the moist grass. My foot felt all weird for the green patch of soft grass offered itself to be its floor. The laughter of the children greeted me on my entrance. Those laughs lingered on my ears and never did they leave me. I glanced at the kids playing on the playground; their smiles vibrant enough to make their parents’ hearts melt inside. The playground was like their version of heaven. There they play with the light brown sand, the swings, and the slide endlessly. It was like they were trapped in their own world. They didn’t seem to bother what was outside the playground’s territory. If only they’d stepped out all alone into this big, cruel world, they would feel lost. I was so relieved that I belonged here, to them, to her.

These little angels, they have not experienced the life in the real world. These children were so lucky for they were still young, they only had to thank for the clothes, their friends, and the love from their relatives. They didn’t have those heavy problems for they were still dependent on others. I just then sat down on the park bench, shaded by the graceful leaves of a tree.

Thoughts came rushing into my head; most of them were about the past tour. My heart began to thump faster; all that had happened was just unbelievable. I just could not believe that we had gone through a lot.

I was then interrupted from my deep thoughts by a soft voice. I almost heard it as a humming tune to a nursery rhyme. I looked up and it was just a little girl.

“Sir, can I sit beside you?” she asked again. Her brown eyes looked at me, they looked soft and calm.

“Sure,” I answered, followed by a small nod. She smiled at me, her small teeth brimming to its pearl white beauty. Her tied brunette hair- swayed as she turned and sat beside me.

“Thank you Mr.-” she smiled again, making her pale cheeks gain life.

“You can call me Gerard if you like,” I turned to my side and replied at her.

“Thank you Mr. Gerald,” she greeted again. I giggled for she mispronounced my name. I think she got it and blushed hard. I could understand. Even adults often fail to pronounce my name correctly.

“Okay, you can call me Mr. Way,” I said, trying to make her feel comfortable. She slowly looked up and carved a smile to her face.

“What’s your name?” I asked.

“Mika,” she softly answered.

A minute had gone by and we were just sitting there in silence. Thoughts would just pass me by and then my attention would be stolen by this little girl. I glanced at her again, her feet paddling on the air as her eyes were fixed on them.

“Um what are you doing in the park Mr. Way?” I turned my head to look at her. Her eyes were still focused to her paddling small feet. She was still shy; she was still naive to talk to me. She was still a kid and she might have known that we were different.

“I’m just here to sit and think. The park is a peaceful place,” I said.

“Ah,” her face looked up to me. The small light passed through the thick leaves which made its way to hit my cheek. I felt the low heat trying to burn my skin. I just reclined myself on the bench and placed my left arm on the bench’s side.

“So what has brought you here Mika?” I asked, it was almost silent, for a minute, the child was still thinking of an answer.

“I came from our Church with my mom and prayed, and then I wanted to see children playing on the playground.” My ears needed to hear it again, a rewind might have helped. This little girl came from church and prayed and strolled towards here to see kids like her play in their heaven.

“Why don’t you play with them?” I asked, my tone sounded like I was interested. I was really interested of what she said.

“They don’t want to play with me,” she answered. It sounded like it was just a faint sigh but my ears heard it. Silence overcame us, rustling leaves dominated the air while I was still processing the girl had just said.

“But why?” I asked. I started to move closer to her because I saw that she was getting nervous. Her face flushed to paleness as time ticked by.

“I really don’t know. Kevin told me that my big sister was a freak so they don’t want to play w-with me.”

Kevin, who I assumed was a kid playing on the playground, thought that her sister was a freak. My thoughts dived deeper and found that it was never from Kevin, it was from his parents. He was only told, and kids often believe what they were told.

I sighed deeply and looked down. Mika’s hands were already rubbing each other with force. Her small lips would quiver, and her eyes showed fear. I then knew it; she didn’t feel she was welcome to the children's paradise. She lowered her head more, concealing her eyes from me with her long bangs. I tilted my head a bit, hoping I could see her eyes. But I just looked away; I knew that she’d start crying.

“But still it’s fine Mr. Way,” She looked up with no signs of tears staining her flushed cheeks.

What was fine with all of that? Was being neglected fine?

“My sister is okay now so I am happy,” her simple words conceived a mystery. Everything was becoming interesting. I wanted to know, I wanted to know.

“Can I ask what happened to your sister?” I asked. I was still in doubt of my question but it just went out of my mouth. Mika took a deep breath and turned to me.

“Mommy told me that she was having problems. Every time I saw her, she looked sad and I didn’t know why. I thought she got angry with me because I borrowed her crayons but I think it was not the crayons. It had been long since I saw her smile at me and play with me with my dolls. Mommy was also worried about her and Daddy was too. But then one day she came to me and hugged me tight. I felt like I was Mr. Bunny being hugged tight. She was crying to me and told me everything why she was sad and then she was all happy again,” she exhaled heavily and looked at me intently. Her eyes were waiting for a reaction and I was still searching for it.

Did she just say all of that? I asked myself. It was not that realistic. She was just a child.
Was she just a child? She felt all sad because her sister was in pain; she worried for her own family and intently listened to her sister’s cry. Was she really a child? It seemed like she could understand things that I had never expected she could start to tell of. She was an understanding sister, who loved her. She wanted to make her happy by letting the older one pour out her feelings. Even if she was not capable of it, she remained strong for her sister, just to make her all happy again. Was I right on this? I needed to hear it from her.

“Are you happy that your sister is happy now?” I asked. I made my tone sound jollier to make Mika more comfortable. I smiled at her, making her return the favor.

“Yes I am. That is why I went to Church to thank God for it.”

Everything then felt awkward for me. I did not believe in God but I wanted to know her prayer. I was wondering what the prayer of this little girl would sound like.

“What did you pray for?” I threw another question at her. This time she felt much more comfortable for she answered right away. This time she did not feel scared, she just wanted to share a story to me.

“I thanked God for giving me a wonderful family. I always thank Jesus for them. I also thanked Him for answering my prayer.”

She had an answered prayer?

“I prayed that I asked Jesus to help my Sister. He did, my sister is happy again. If He hadn’t sent the My Chemical Womance to her, she would have remained sad.”

What? My Chemical Romance? Us? Never mind her pronunciation, did she really mean us?

“My Chemical Romance?” I managed to ask her. She gave me a wondering look, trying to read my thoughts through staring at my hazel orbs.

“She told me that My Chemical Romance taught her to be strong,” she smiled at me. It was all clear; I just had to keep that inside my heart. By that time, I could have cried, and sobbed forever. I never thought we still had this effect to the people. I thought they called us “sell-outs” but, that was just broken by this girl’s heart. She reminded me of what we should be and what we are going to do. My eyes were already filled up; I couldn’t help it they just flowed down suddenly. I immediately lowered my head down; I didn’t want Mika to see me crying. I just didn’t expect that she was the one who could open my eyes again. She wiped all those lies which had covered my glass to see the truth. I was now able to see the truth, we were still doing it, and we were still saving them from darkness.

I misjudged this child. I thought the only thing a child like her could care was only material things and the received gifts she had. I thought they were dependent and weak, but not all of them were like that. Mika showed me strength, love, and faith.

How should I know that I was going to see them all on Mika’s brown eyes?

“Mika, can I hug you?” I asked. It was a low whisper but still my voice cracked a bit. I sobbed and I could hear Mika’s thoughts. She must be wondering why this stranger would cry. Ask me, I really didn’t know.

”Of course Mr Way. You're my best friend now,” Her voice sounded like a song. It was singing a happy tune. It was not bad, it was rather comforting. Tears stopped flowing and they ran dry. My arms extended to her small shoulder and caressed her softly. No words could ever make up the feeling that was welling inside of me.

“Keep the faith, Mr. Way,” she whispered.

Don’t worry,

“I will.”