Keep the Faith

“Don’t go…”

You promised you’d stay. You promised…

In the beginning, I thought that we will make it through all the things we know will come right us. Everything was alright back then… I made you happy… You made me happy. Everything fit right into the exact place. Everything was perfect.

But that's what I thought…

I thought you’d be right behind me no matter what happens. But you lied! You changed! You lost the spirit that I once adored. You lost the soul that saved me from my own self.

What happened to you? What happened to us?

I thought you said you love me for who I am and who I will become. But what am I hearing? You talk like trash about me now. You begin to live like those people you once loathed gravely. And now I feel like I’m the one you despised the most because of my betrayal… My betrayal?

You say I betrayed you?

You thought that the change in me changed how much I cared for you. Do you think I don’t care about you now? Do you think I feel like I own the world? Do you think I have forgotten what’s the purpose and reason for all of this?

It’s you… The reason is you…

I made some decisions in my life… My life… I thought you’d understand. I thought you’d be happy for me. I believed you’d finally release a satisfied sigh and say, “You’re happy… You should be. You deserve it.” I guess not.

Have I wronged you?

You don’t know how much I cherish you…I cherish your life… I’ve always remained so vocal when it comes to loving one’s self. I want you to love yourself so I won’t ever I see you torturing your body, thinking that it will ease the pain. I want you to live though they say it’s a lost cause.

Did I fail?

Have I failed you?
Well, I’m sorry…. Forgive me. I’m not a god. I’m human… a man. And a man has always been different from a god. A god is indestructible, immortal and is never wrong or wronged. A man is fragile… he succeeds but he can also fail… he can do right but he makes mistakes… he feels and he hurts… so he is free.

That’s what I am… a man.

I’m not perfect and I’m not trying to be. I’m not cool so I didn’t bother trying anymore. And someone like you used to see that in me… And you loved me for it but now…

Have I told you I’m not a hero?

You used to call me as your hero, your lifesaver, your protector, your knight in shining armor. I felt proud that someone like you considered a man like me as a hero so I always thought that maybe I am a hero… maybe.

But a hero is different from a saint. And I always knew I wasn’t a saint. Everybody knew that. But I guess you didn’t really understand… You’ve ask too much and I couldn’t give them all…

Now you’re leaving…

You’re getting the best of me. What do I have to do to make you stay? Should I beg? Should I kneel and eat dirt on the ground as I ask for forgiveness? Should I force myself to change again? Do you want me to give everything up?

I can do anything for you… Anything you couldn’t even imagine in your wildest dreams…

Just to show you how much you mean to me…

Just for me to know you’re still there…

Just for me to be sure you won’t abandon me… never again.

So please… “Don’t go.”