Keep the Faith

Hovering in that strange, blurry state between waking and dreaming, she floats. Painlessly, for now. But it won’t be long until harsh, cold reality catches up with her, along with the ghosts of her past and the phantoms of her future. She feels herself rising, and fights against it, desperately attempting to remain in her half-dead, comatose waking dream, to escape from callous life in comforting blackness. But it doesn’t last long; she blinks dazedly up to the savagely blinding light and feels, yet again, the razor-sharp sting of tears, cried who knows why for who knows what.

Because what is the point anymore? Where is the hope, the conviction, the loyalty, when all she can see around her is deceit, lies and hypocrisy? Where is the reason for living, because she just can’t see it?

And now slowly she gets up, slowly walks over to the mirror, staring out at her plain, boring face and blank eyes, the colour of muddy pondwater; slowly raises the blade to cut out the pain, the numbness. Today would be the day she rids herself of the misery, today the day she sees her long-gone loved ones, today the day she leaves this war-torn world for good. She stares down at the cold, shining metal, lifts it up. In a second, the apathy would be over. She raises her eyes to the ones in the mirror.

And sees a different face.

She knows he speaks, though no words are said. Faith and trust shine fondly through his beautiful eyes, and her own widen in the realization that someone out there knows, someone out there cares.

The numbing lethargy is ripped away as his striking eyes evoke poignant words; lingering fragments from half-remembered songs, whispered softly in dark hours before the music died, to smash forcefully into her subdued mind.
‘You’re not in this alone’
‘You might wake up and notice you’re someone you’re not’
‘Too young to die’
‘You’re beautiful’
‘I’m okay…trust me.’
‘Think happy thoughts’
‘I’ve been holding on tonight’
‘They’ll never take me alive’
‘I am not afraid to keep on living’

And a million other echoes resonate, painting the empty void in vivid colours. She stares at the man in the mirror, making no demands, simply caring, and abruptly snaps the blade in her hands, letting the broken pieces fall softly to the carpet.
A warm smile breaks across his gentle face, lightening the features, as she smiles in return, unable to find decent enough words to express her feelings. He seems to say goodbye, and distressed, she turns to catch a last glimpse of him, awake and unafraid.

Sunbeams shine through the place he stands, illuminating the faint outline of a figure, reaching out to her. She knows it is far more than a simple gesture, but she takes it anyway, committing herself. I will not let him down; the only promise she’s ever made, the only promise she’s ever kept. The figure comes into focus, and she sees her saviour speak, heartfelt words that have echoed through the ages.
“Be yourself, don’t take anyone’s shit, and never let them take you alive.”
The form fades, the firm grasp of the hand disappears, but she knows she is not alone. As the last beams of sunlight gradually wink out, she turns back to the mirror and picks up the shattered blade, throwing the pieces away. You. Cannot. Destroy. Me.

That man, who she would probably never see again, who doesn’t even know she exists, had cared. And cares even now, she knows it.
She had survived, against all the odds. And now she was falling, hard and fast, and the world had changed.
And the reflection changes, but the eyes remain.

Gerard Way. The man who changed nothing and everything…and is yet just a man. An ordinary man, who made himself extraordinary. A hero.