Keep the Faith
A Fictional Truth
Looking at the paper, she sighed. It was supposed to be a story, but it turned out to be a incoherent ramble. It only meant something to her, as it were the big lines of her life during the past two years. Quick fast-forwards, never expressing the feelings the way she should have. She knew what it had been like, but no one else would.
Wording emotions and feelings was never that hard for her, but they were always fictional, made up in her mind.
This was all too real. It got too close to her heart. Having to write such hard feelings down, knowing they were real, not fictional at all, drew her to crying time and time again.
Tears burned in her eyes. She had to get this right. She just had to.
It was the one message to the band she wanted to get across so desperately.
Frustrated, she grabbed the paper and threw it in the litter bin after ripping it to pieces.
She mentally slapped herself for waiting with it for this long. She’d crossed the deadline already, and Isa would even wait for her. Now she was going to start all over again. She felt guilty, and selfish.
Maybe she should just leave it and let Isa take care of the rest of the book, without having to wait for her story to be done. She threw her pencil across the room, ending the writing with the anger-fueled gesture.
No,she told herself, no. You want to them to know. This might be your only chance.
She turned to her computer and opened a word document.
Subconsciously, she ran her finger over the few scars. She’d broken a promise, but only three times.
She smiled as she recalled the night where she had renewed and strengthened the promise. Not only would she protect herself, she would protect as many people as she could.
Ever since that night, when she saw her saviours in real life, only 6 feet away from her, giving their heart to the new country, she’d walked around proudly, her head raised high. Whatever people told her, whenever they brought her ideas, opinions, beliefs and loves down, she stood up fucking tall and raised above all the people trying to bring her down.
Keep the Faith became her life motto. She’d written already five Keep the Faith one-shots, in one week, all close to her heart, reflecting some of her love – but not all, words were not beautiful enough and she refused to cheapen it– or her paranoia on certain subjects. This last short story was supposed to be something you could call a conclusion of how they’d influenced and saved her, but she fucked up completely.
She knew it was her head who had been speaking in stead of her heart.
Her heart was the organ that did the things she thought were alright, moral and good.
Her head tended to fuck up everything. If it took over her system, she was doomed to break down in tears and hate everything she did.
Whenever the heart ruled, which was most of the time, she could feel okay with everything.
Whenever the heart ruled, it was all My Chemical Romance she breathed.
Whenever the heart ruled, she could smile and mean it.
She thought of everything My Chemical Romance had done for her and still did. She had desperately tried to get it all forced into a story, but she now realized she couldn’t.
What they had done for her was unbelievably surreal.
She thought of the one sentence she would just have to say if she ever got to meet her saviours.
You can stop hiding your wings now, everyone already knows you’re guardian angels.
Such seemingly ridiculous phrase somewhat contained everything she felt for them. Not everything, but it came closer than anything else. She smiled.
“Thank you,” she said, not intending to say it out loud, but her voice did anyway. She didn’t mind, as her love for these five men was the one thing she was most proud of in her life.
Two words, reflecting her gratitude for everything the band ever did.
She thanked them for being so amazing, for making her smile.
She thanked them for meaning this much to her.
She thanked them for getting her over the darkest period of her life.
She thanked them for all the amazing people all over the world that she met through Internet, with whom she shared so much, for meaning so fucking much to not only her, but hundreds of thousands of kids.
She thanked them for everything in her life.
She thanked them for everything, for just smiling in a picture to for keeping her sane.
While she was at it, she thanked everyone involved in the Keep the Faith cause. She’d only joined it a week before, but she’d immediately felt so connected to the other authors, she’d loved them instantly.
On a smaller scale, Keep the Faith (including its authors and the book) did the same for her as My Chemical Romance. It had saved her from insanity multiple times.
She had found great (even some of the greatest) friends in the other Keep the Faith-ers.
She’d spent every day on there, until she had to go to bed because it was already way too late, and she would fall asleep with a genuine smile on her face, thinking about the great cause.
Whenever she thought about the present to My Chemical Romance, the book, goose bumps appeared over her entire body.
They used their art to give their heart to their saviours.
Those words contained everything they were about, they had created a fictional truth, more powerful than any other sort of fiction.
Those words were their gratitude to Frank, Mikey, Bob, Ray and Gerard. They owed it to the band.
KEEP THE FAITH.
You’ll never be alone. We love you.
Wording emotions and feelings was never that hard for her, but they were always fictional, made up in her mind.
This was all too real. It got too close to her heart. Having to write such hard feelings down, knowing they were real, not fictional at all, drew her to crying time and time again.
Tears burned in her eyes. She had to get this right. She just had to.
It was the one message to the band she wanted to get across so desperately.
Frustrated, she grabbed the paper and threw it in the litter bin after ripping it to pieces.
She mentally slapped herself for waiting with it for this long. She’d crossed the deadline already, and Isa would even wait for her. Now she was going to start all over again. She felt guilty, and selfish.
Maybe she should just leave it and let Isa take care of the rest of the book, without having to wait for her story to be done. She threw her pencil across the room, ending the writing with the anger-fueled gesture.
No,she told herself, no. You want to them to know. This might be your only chance.
She turned to her computer and opened a word document.
Subconsciously, she ran her finger over the few scars. She’d broken a promise, but only three times.
She smiled as she recalled the night where she had renewed and strengthened the promise. Not only would she protect herself, she would protect as many people as she could.
Ever since that night, when she saw her saviours in real life, only 6 feet away from her, giving their heart to the new country, she’d walked around proudly, her head raised high. Whatever people told her, whenever they brought her ideas, opinions, beliefs and loves down, she stood up fucking tall and raised above all the people trying to bring her down.
Keep the Faith became her life motto. She’d written already five Keep the Faith one-shots, in one week, all close to her heart, reflecting some of her love – but not all, words were not beautiful enough and she refused to cheapen it– or her paranoia on certain subjects. This last short story was supposed to be something you could call a conclusion of how they’d influenced and saved her, but she fucked up completely.
She knew it was her head who had been speaking in stead of her heart.
Her heart was the organ that did the things she thought were alright, moral and good.
Her head tended to fuck up everything. If it took over her system, she was doomed to break down in tears and hate everything she did.
Whenever the heart ruled, which was most of the time, she could feel okay with everything.
Whenever the heart ruled, it was all My Chemical Romance she breathed.
Whenever the heart ruled, she could smile and mean it.
She thought of everything My Chemical Romance had done for her and still did. She had desperately tried to get it all forced into a story, but she now realized she couldn’t.
What they had done for her was unbelievably surreal.
She thought of the one sentence she would just have to say if she ever got to meet her saviours.
You can stop hiding your wings now, everyone already knows you’re guardian angels.
Such seemingly ridiculous phrase somewhat contained everything she felt for them. Not everything, but it came closer than anything else. She smiled.
“Thank you,” she said, not intending to say it out loud, but her voice did anyway. She didn’t mind, as her love for these five men was the one thing she was most proud of in her life.
Two words, reflecting her gratitude for everything the band ever did.
She thanked them for being so amazing, for making her smile.
She thanked them for meaning this much to her.
She thanked them for getting her over the darkest period of her life.
She thanked them for all the amazing people all over the world that she met through Internet, with whom she shared so much, for meaning so fucking much to not only her, but hundreds of thousands of kids.
She thanked them for everything in her life.
She thanked them for everything, for just smiling in a picture to for keeping her sane.
While she was at it, she thanked everyone involved in the Keep the Faith cause. She’d only joined it a week before, but she’d immediately felt so connected to the other authors, she’d loved them instantly.
On a smaller scale, Keep the Faith (including its authors and the book) did the same for her as My Chemical Romance. It had saved her from insanity multiple times.
She had found great (even some of the greatest) friends in the other Keep the Faith-ers.
She’d spent every day on there, until she had to go to bed because it was already way too late, and she would fall asleep with a genuine smile on her face, thinking about the great cause.
Whenever she thought about the present to My Chemical Romance, the book, goose bumps appeared over her entire body.
They used their art to give their heart to their saviours.
Those words contained everything they were about, they had created a fictional truth, more powerful than any other sort of fiction.
Those words were their gratitude to Frank, Mikey, Bob, Ray and Gerard. They owed it to the band.
KEEP THE FAITH.
You’ll never be alone. We love you.