Oh Baby, I Deserve Better.

After a couple months of faking happiness my happiness actually started becoming real. I was too busy taking care of Josey and Alex to be moping around about my lost baby. Alex unfortunately hadn't gotten any better. He was still coming home drunk every night and occasionally i would smell weed on him, I just didn't know what to do about it. Josey's birthday was coming up in a couple days and I had planned a party with Isobel for her.

"So where has Alex been lately?" She asked one morning as we were sitting at the kitchen table working on party planning.

"I don't really know. He say's he's been with the boys but I'm worried about him" I said quietly before going back to trying to figure out what food to serve.

"What do you mean you're worried about him?" Isobel asked, curiosity lacing her tone.

"He started drinking again and he's just been really removed from both Josey and I. We haven't had a conversation in months" I said my voice cracking a little bit. As I was trying to mend my family Alex seemed to be tearing it apart more and more.

"He's been drinking again?" Isobel sounded shocked at the thought of Alex relapsing into his old ways.

"Yeah, I think he started smoking again too but I'm not sure" I confided in her. Normally I would be having these types of talks with Laney but she had been so busy with her new baby that we just didn't talk as much as we used to and I didn't want to bother her.

"Oh honey..." Isobel trailed off giving me a look of sympathy.

"Its not too bad, I'm sure we'll get over it" I tried to play it off like it didn't really matter too much.

"Well I hope so, but I remember what Alex was like when he was using and it was really hard to live with. If you ever need to talk or need some place to stay you and Josey are always welcome here" She said.

I severely hoped it wouldn't get to that point but I was grateful to have her there.