'Cause No One Knows You Like I Do.

The last time, I left off in the arms of my fairly sordid 'best friend'. An hour later Alex walked in screeching 'I thought you had a boyfriend!' - Jack and I were not impressed. Now, however, I'm picking up after a few days of waking up in the arms of my actual boyfriend in various hotel beds, all of which were courtesy of a very generous magazine who wanted Matt's articles on any and all bands he chose to interview and/or write on, whether they be headliners or the smallest band on the tour.
Jack and the boys were living on a tour bus.
In all honesty, that seemed like such a better option than the hotel beds. It would mean I could sleep whenever I was free and not have to worry about packing my stuff up to move to another room, in another city, the very next day. I really did see why tour buses were used so often. Then again, it's not like Jack, or any of the boys for that matter, ever packed anything up in their life. That was always left either to girlfriends, female best friends or mothers. But, hey, we understood; boys will be boys after all.
Matt had been busy for the most part of the tour, leaving only the night time hours in which we slept, and breakfast in the morning, for one another. I didn't mind at all. I filled my time with Jack whenever he was free, and watching bands play whenever he was not, and that suited me just fine. Admittedly, I hadn't made any new friends so far, I'd only been here a couple of days and already each and every female I saw decided they should give death glares to me - I guess Jack, as one of the single All Time Low members (and labelled second only to Alex in the looks department by many), had been the boy the enjoyed flirting with every other year, and I had just ruined that for them completely. Clearly, my presence was not enjoyed by the females of the tour.
Lisa had come out the day before, with the intention of staying until Sunday, when she would fly back to Baltimore at around midday. It was currently Thursday. Today she and I had arranged to leave the boys for a while and catch up, she claiming that she had come out here for me just as much as she had Alex. My retort was 'yes, and I came here for the hot dogs just as much as I did Jack and Matt'. Thank God the girl gets my humour.
"So, what gossip did I miss while I've been stuck in Maryland? Who's been doing what?" She gushed, leaning over the table of the diner we were sat at having our 'catch up' over burgers and milkshakes. I crinkled my nose in the way I always did when I was trying to think, the way which many have compared to the look you get when you've just sucked on a lemon.
"I don't know," I replied slowly. "Nothing really happens much in the space of a week. The most important things happen at home and we just carry our baggage here with us." I shrugged. Lisa tilted her head.
"Nothing happens in Maryland, Becca; no one causes drama, we just sit and do nothing all day every day." I couldn't carry on looking at her. I had merely assumed Alex would have told her his thoughts on what Jack and I had been upto the past few months, as he appeared to tell her everything else. Instead, all I had managed to do was give away everything that only Jack and I knew for sure, which would surely then end in Lisa asking Alex what I meant, then Alex confronting Jack and, in turn, screeching 'I thought you had a boyfriend!' at me all over again, because we all know Jack wouldn't get around to telling him everything before he kicked off at us both.
Okay, maybe I took that thought process a little far, and maybe I've thought it before, but something along those lines will happen, and everyone will suffer for it.
"Becca, what's going on? Everyone's been acting weird since the guys left for tour last time, and I'm so lost. Alex won't tell me what's going on, and I'm getting worried. Is it something to do with me? Has Alex done something? I trust him, but it's been months and I'm still not getting told anything, and I'm just.. worried I've done something and not noticed." I sighed. What did I tell you? This was making us all suffer.
"I'll tell you, but you have to promise not to tell anyone, no one at all. Some people probably already know bits of it, but nobody knows everything." She bit her lip, leaning forward a little more so I could quieten my voice like a child telling her best friend where their secret clubhouse would be. She held out her pinkie finger, just as Jack always did, and I took it with a smile. In our group, if we pinkie'd it, nothing was ever going to make us go back on our word. I took a deep breath. "I've been sleeping with Jack."
Lisa sat there silently blinking for a few seconds, her jaw having dropped a few centimeters without her noticing. I just sat there, waiting for it to sink it. I didn't quite see how nobody but Alex had noticed, how it was such a shock to her, but I guess that's just the way the world goes.
"How long for?" She finally forced out, recovering herself.
"September."
"And Matt? What about him?" I sighed again, as repetitive as it had become, the release was still quite nice. It gave me time to think and signalled Lisa to wait without the ever-awkward "erm.." that always appeared to make me sound guilty and launch her into an attack.
"We stopped just before they left for tour last time; Matt is the reason we stopped. And then he came back, saw me with Matt and pitched a fit, claiming he'd come back with every intention of telling me he loved me and making us an official couple." Again, her jaw dropped and she went into her state of mini-shock. Admittedly, Jack saying he loved someone was huge for him, he's only ever said it to a non-family member (except friends) once before. It didn't end well.
"So why is he being so nice to Matt?! He was the one who invited him here in the first place!"
"He's being the bigger man, apparently. Says he'll back off if he decides Matt isn't a douche, which even I don't know anymore since I'm rarely with him while we're awake. Jack is actually my main source of amusement on a daily basis." Lisa pulled a face. Her thinking face was a lot different to mine, though it was still pretty funny to see.
"You love Jack, don't you?" She asked, excruciatingly slowly.
"Well, yeah, I thought that much was obvious."
"It is. To everyone. Well, everyone female. Kara and I feel the tension all the frickin' time, the boys.. not so much. We literally spelled it out to all of them when they came back last summer. Anyway, tell me; why are you still with Matt if you love Jack?"
"This demands ice cream and chick flicks, Lees, not diner food," I joked. She just scowled at me, forcing me to answer her. "Because I screw things up a lot, okay? If Jack and I screw up, like we tend to do, I'm going to be sat wondering if I could have had the whole nine yards with Matt - the big house in the suburbs, the white picket fence, the two cute little kids, everything. On top of that, I'm going to be without my best friend. I'm going to fuck up, and he's going to hate me, and then I'll be torn away from Alex, and Rian, and Zack, and I'll have to avoid you and Kara while they're in town just in case Jack's there, because he'll hate me. And did I mention just how much he's going to hate me? Like, Harry vs. Voldemort hate, or Batman vs. the Jo-"
"Okay, okay, I see what you're trying to say. But, have you ever thought that maybe one day you'll realise you did a stupid thing staying with Matt and want nothing but Jack?"
She was right. She was always right, but I was still torn. Or maybe I'm just waiting for Matt to screw up so I can go off guilt free to Jack? Am I doing this just to save myself the blame? I couldn't even tell you anymore, I'm that confused. The pair of us got up, Lisa talking about going back to see the boys play, I just nodded along and followed in her wake.