'Cause No One Knows You Like I Do.

I awoke around three the next afternoon, with a bouncing head, and bed wobbling under Lisa's weight. She had, apparently, just jumped onto it to wake me up and complain about how I'd slept through the entire day. Apparently, I'd also slept through her hangover. Crap.
"Anyway, get dressed, Alex and the boys are waiting for us at the front of the bus. They had an early set today and are already done, so we're going out to eat." I groaned, yelling at her to grab me one of Jack's shirts.
Five minutes later I was outside in a pair of skinnies, Jack's latest JAGK shirt and Lisa's sunglasses. It was mix and match with everyone's clothes today, but I was too hungover to care. Jack and I had continued drinking after we had left Lisa and Alex, and ended up passing out at a ridiculous time this morning. Jack, I later found out, had been awoken at around eleven the next morning to get ready for his set at one. I could just imagine him cringing.
I walked over to the boys and Lisa, Jack putting his arm around my shoulders immediately. I should have been bothered, protested about it making us look like we're something we're not, that it looks like we're having an affair, but, really, isn't that true without the physical? I mean, if emotionally I was already in a relationship with someone, isn't that worse?
The thoughts made my head spin.
"Can I change my mind on joining you and go be sick in my hotel toilet?" I asked, bending forwards and covering my mouth. With dizziness almost always comes sickness, with me at least.
"Aw, did the chocolate and alcohol binge damage poor little Becca?" Alex teased, earning himself a slap from his girlfriend and a glare from myself.
"Fuck off, Gaskarth, I'm a fragile girl!"
"I thought all girls were fragile?" And that gained another slap from Lisa.
"I might stay with her, guys; she really looks sick," Jack interjected, crouching down to look at me properly and pull faces up at me. I couldn't help but smile.
"This is a ploy. A ridiculously see through ploy to gain privacy for your antics. And I won't be having it on my tour!"
"Fine, we'll just do it on your bed. Again," I replied, taking my chance to tease him. Jack cocked his head to the side, sending me a questioning look. I just shrugged, or did my best to shrug while still facing the floor.
In all honesty, I wasn't even that sick. The thoughts made me dizzy, the dizziness made me nauseous; I'd be over it in five minutes tops, but I needed to talk to Jack and badly. The thoughts in my head were doing me no favours if I couldn't tell them to him - he was the only one who would ever truly understand. The others walked off, leaving Jack and I to go back to their bus (which Jack kindly pointed out was a hell of a lot closer than my hotel).
"You feeling better, Bec?" Jack asked, handing me a glass of water as I lay on the sofa. I nodded. "Were you even sick?" I shook my head slowly, signaling he was right, as always. He smirked. "So, it was all a ploy?"
"So to speak. I'm not trying to get you into bed, like Alex seems to think; we need to talk." Jack sank down onto the sofa, gnawing at his lip. I'd worried him, which was probably the wise thing to do, as even I didn't know how this conversation was going to end. I saw no point in getting his hops up, in reassuring him; I couldn't even reassure myself. He could go off, be noble again, tell me my boyfriend was the better choice, but I honestly didn't know if he was anymore.
He just wasn't Jack.
"I don't even know what to say to you, I'm ridiculously confused-"
"Hence the sickness?" I nodded. I did tell you Jack knew it all. He signaled for me to carry on.
"I just- I don't know." I sighed, pausing for a second for something coherent to form in my head. Do I tell him I don't want Matt? Do I tell him I love him? Do I tell him both, or do I tell him nothing? "I- Jack, I love you. Just you. No more stupid 'well, I could love Matt' crap; I love you, nobody else. Right now I should feel like I've been emotionally cheating on him, but all I can feel is that I've been cheating on you, and it's not fair on anyone anymore."
"You're so stupid, Bec," Jack stated. "Did you absolutely have to wait until he was on tour with us?" I grinned sheepishly, he knew I had ridiculously awkward timing, and we both knew I'd cause a lot more trouble before this whole thing was over. He sat me up properly and rested my head on his shoulder, his arm around my waist and his head on top of mine.