'Cause No One Knows You Like I Do.

"Hi, Mrs. Barakat!" I smiled, finally reaching the home Jack lived in. "Is Jack in?"
"Yes, Becca, dear, he's in his room, sleeping as usual!" I laughed, hugging Jack's mother as I entered the house. I spent a couple of minutes chatting to her before I went up into Jack's room, dropping the happy exterior I had downstairs.
"You have some explaining to do, Barakat." I stated, after throwing a pillow at him to wake him up.
"Go away, Rebecca," he sighed, rolling over, putting the pillow over his head.
"No, I will not. How dare you do that to me? What the Hell did I do to deserve you hiding this from me? I did nothing wrong, Jack!"
"Of course you didn't, you never do, do you? Perfect little Becca, never hurts anyone or does anything wrong. Not at all."
"Okay, sarcasm is evident there. What the Hell have I done, Barakat?!"
"Nothing, Bec, just leave."
"No. I'm here until you tell me why the hell you didn't tell me you were back. And don't say you're leaving, because I'll just follow you. There's no getting rid of me."
"It was supposed to be a fucking surprise, okay?! Jesus, will you leave now?!"
"No. That's not an explanation. Your surprises take five minutes to spring, not nine days. Something stopped you telling me, and I want to know what." Jack finally sat up, grabbing a pair of jeans from the floor and pulling them on, getting out of bed to search for a clean t-shirt.
"Do you really, really want to know?"
"For God's sake, yes!"
"Then figure it out for yourself. You have the rest of your life to figure out why I left. Why the girl I absolutely adore has done something to make me leave. Shouldn't take more than ten seconds, but you have the rest of your life to dwell on it, because I'm done, Bec. Absolutely done." My heart, that still resided in my toes, tried to seep out from any place it possibly could - trying to help me stop feeling this feeling of absolute despair. It was all about Matt. Matt, my newest relationship that I had still yet to tell Jack about, and yet he had already found out.
"Jack, don't. I was going to tell you." All he did was shake his head.
"It's got nothing to do with you telling me! Don't you understand? The surprise wasn't going to be me showing up all of a sudden, that's a weak surprise, and you know it. There's more to it than that, Becca, so much fucking more!"
"Then what, Jack?! You're not explaining anything to me!" He sighed, sitting back down on his bed, and patting the spot next to him. He was still angry, that was obvious, but he was calming down a lot quicker than I anticipated. I sat down, sighing also.
"Do you remember what we were like before? We were, well, we were a couple without actually being one, and I hated it. Did you notice that I stopped talking to you after me and the guys left? I needed space, time to think, and I couldn't do that if we carried on like we had. I wanted to see if anything would change if I stayed away from you for a bit, see if I could make you feel like a best friend to me again."
"I don't understand, Jacks. Are you saying you don't think you want to me friends with me anymore, or is there something I'm missing?" I was confused to say the least. Jack had never, ever done anything like this before. This sudden epiphany that I had no inclination about had never once happened in all the years I had known him. Not to be cruel, but Jack was a little simple. I'm not saying he's not intelligent, he's more than intelligent, but he takes a lot of goading to make any decisions or changes in his life, and usually that comes from either me or his mother, no one else really has the patience to goad him into it like the pair of us did. He sighed.
"I guess I am saying that, but then I'm not at the same time. I'm not saying I don't want anything to do with you, I'm saying I want more."
"Jack, we had more, remember?"
Okay, now's the time to reveal the cryptic messages in the story before now. I know a lot of you have understood long before now, but, before I carry on, I'm going to make sure there are no doubts in your mind as to what Jack and I used to get up to. Well, as you've gathered we were a little more than just best friends. We had something a little more.. physical going on behind everyone else's back. Of course by 'a little' I mean a lot, and by 'behind everyone else's back', I mean, Alex knew, without ever having been told. He was the most observant about these things, and he knew how to keep a secret. It's not like he ever confronted either of us about it, it's just that we knew by the way he looked at us after it had started. But never mind Alex, back to what is going on right now.
"You honestly think that's what I meant by more? Yes, we got more physically, but you can't carry on like that with your best friend, Bec; it has to end some time. And I was going to end it in a good way; I wanted to make us an actual couple, not that stupid behind-our-friends'-back's thing. I wanted official, and I wanted exclusive.. with you."
"Jack.. I can't just up and leave Matt..." I was utterly torn, he was my best friend, and I loved him to pieces, and, yes, I did have feelings for him, who wouldn't? But with Matt it was something new, I had that new relationship feeling, and I didn't want to spend forever wondering if he could have been the guy I married if Jack and I didn't work out. It was difficult, I didn't know who I liked more right now. Two weeks down the line I could realise Jack was the one I wanted above all else, or I could realise Matt meant more, but, right now, I don't know who it is that's going to come out on top.
"So, you're choosing him?"
"That's not what I said and you know it. I don't know who I want, okay?"
"Do you love him?"
"I don't know! I could do soon. It's still new, and happy."
"... Do you love me?"
"I.. think so. I don't know. Maybe."
"'Maybe'? That isn't an answer, Bec. If you loved me, you would know, without a single doubt in your mind, and there'd be no one else. No one at all."
"Oh, is that so? Tell me, how long has it been since you loved me, and how many girls have there been since?"
"That's not the point."
"Yes, it is Jack. All I'm doing here is trying something out to make myself happy. How do I know which of these relationships will last? How do I know you won't fuck up, that I won't fuck up, just like we always seemed to before? Jack, I love you, you know I do, but prove to me it's going to work, prove you won't give up at the first chance, and I'm all yours." I stood up, leaning down to kiss him on the cheek.
"How am I meant to do that, Bec?"
"That's your problem, not mine."
And, with that, I walked out.