I Think We're Falling Apart

Brian and I walked into the house, me giggling as he kissed on my neck. I quieted down as we went into the living room, where both Matt and Adelle were asleep on the couch, the lights off and the TV on. It was quite cute really; Matt was on his back and she was all curled up on him. I wished I had a camera.

Brian and I walked around to the front of the couch, where I carefully pulled Adie into my arms, making sure not to wake her. Brian, on the other hand, flicked Matt a couple times on the forehead until he woke up. Matt slowly sat up and rubbed his eyes a couple times. He looked up at Brian and me, squinting from the light that Brian had turned on.

"You guys have a good time?" he asked before he let out a yawn.

"Yes, we did. Thank you for watching her for us," I said sincerely.

He smiled softly. "Its not a problem. She's a good kid." he said as he stood up. "I'm beat, so I'm gonna head out," he stated as he and Brian did their 'man hug' thing they always did, and then I gave him a one-armed hug due to Adelle in my arms. Matt left, and I carried Adie up to her room, Brian following close behind.

We got to her room, and Brian pulled back the covers to her bed and I gently laid her down. He pulled the covers over her small frame, and she stirred, slowly opening her eyes.

"Daddy?" she asked groggily.

"I'm right here sweetie," he said softly with a smile.

"I love you Daddy," she said and reached her arms up for a hug. He leaned down to hug her and kissed her cheek, and then I did the same.

"I love you too Adie," he said.

"I love you Mommy," she said and laid her head back down to the pillows, closing her eyes.

"I love you too. Goodnight baby," I whispered and then turned off the light next to her bed.

Brian and I left her room, shutting her door behind us, and went down to our room.

Brian stripped down to his boxers an then went into the bathroom to brush his teeth and do his business. I stripped down into a cami and panties, and stood in front of the mirror. I was still convinced that I hadn't lost all the weight from my pregnancy, even though it was about 5 years ago. Brian came out of the bathroom and walked over to me, slipping his arms around my waist from behind.

"Babe, I wish you'd stop worrying about your figure. You look perfect," he sighed, kissing the side of my neck.

"You may think so, but I don't," I said as I walked into the bathroom to brush my teeth and so on. I came back out to see Brian sitting on the end of the bed, leaning back on his arms. He beckoned me over to him, so I went over and stood in front of him. He placed his hands on my hips and pulled me down so I was straddling him.

"Victoria Haner, you are the most beautiful..." he said softly and then kissed me. "...intelligent..." he kissed me again, "... sexy..." he moved his kisses down to my neck, "...caring..." he kissed down to my collarbone, "...incredible..." he pulled me closer and kissed his way back up to my lips, "... amazing woman I have ever met," he finished as he looked into my eyes.

I smiled. "Sounds like someone's trying to get laid," I joked.

"Well yeah, that too," he said, joking back at me. This time, I leaned down to kiss him.

"I want you to make love to me," I whispered into his ear. I could feel him smile against my neck.

"I think that can be arranged..." he said back, and I moved off him, going to turn off the light. I came back and laid down, pulling him on top of me, kissing him hard.

I was just as excited as he was. We hadn't had sex in quite some time because Adelle was going through this phase where she'd get scared in the middle of the night and want to come sleep in our bed.

His tongue slipped past my lips and I wrapped one of my hands behind his neck and the other became entangled in his hair. He moved his lips gracefully down to my neck where he kissed me softly a couple times before he pulled away, raising up a bit. He pulled me up slightly with him and slipped my cami over my head, before laying me back down and attacking my chest with his lips. He started to suck on my collarbone, and I emitted a low moan. He always knew where my spot was, and he loved to use that against me. I brought my knees up, so his torso fit better between my legs.

I slid my hands down to his waist as he kept himself busy on my collarbone and I pulled his hips roughly against mine. He took the hint and started to grind his erection against me. I moaned louder and he quickly moved up to kiss my lips. I felt him slowly slide my panties off and lightly brush his finger over my clit. I gasped against his lips and I felt him slowly push two fingers into me. He found my G-spot and slowly but forcefully rubbed against it. I let out a loud moan and he chuckled, bringing up his other hand to cover my mouth.

"Babe, you gotta keep quiet. I don't wanna wake up Adelle," he whispered as he replaced his hand with his lips and slithered his tongue into my mouth. He continued to thrust his fingers into me with a rather slow pace and soon I felt myself hitting my orgasm.

Brian raised up from me, and he stripped his boxers off and situated himself back in between my legs. He kissed me, letting his lips linger there as he slowly entered me, setting a good pace. I laid my head back into the mattress as I gripped his back with my hands, pulling his body closer to mine. He started to lose control, thrusting faster and harder, making me squeal.

"Brian," I moaned out, and the headboard slammed into the wall a couple times before he realized he needed to slow down to keep quiet. He gripped his hands on my hips and squeezed them as he bit on my neck.

I moaned again, and then heard the door creak open.

"Mommy?" I heard Adelle's soft voice ask. Brian's movements ceased almost immediately at the sound of her voice, and he laid his body flush against mine under the thin sheet.

I tried to steady my breathing. "What is it baby?" I asked, my voice shaking.

"Mommy, I'm scared..." she whimpered. I felt Brian sigh in frustration against my chest.

"Okay sweetie... Go back to your room, and I'll be there in a second okay?" I asked, and I saw her nod her head before leaving the doorway.

"Brian, baby, get up," I said softly.

"Come on, just a couple minutes, please," he pleaded.

"I can't. I'm gonna go and talk to her about this, and tell her its gotta stop," I said as I ran my fingers through his choppy hair. He sighed and pulled out of me before rolling to the side. I reached down to the silk robe I'd left lying on the floor from the other morning and slipped it on over my naked form, tying it shut in the front. I got up and walked down to Adelle's room where she was sitting on her bed.

"Alright. What's wrong?" I asked, softly as I sat down on the edge of her bed.

"I'm scared.... I heard noises," she said.

"Sweetie, you're safe in here; nothing is going to get you. And don't worry about the noises, everything's fine," I reassured her.

"Was Daddy hurting you?" she asked.

"No sweetie, of course not. He would never hurt me. We were just... playing a game," I said, feeling rather awkward.

"Mommy, can I come sleep with you and Daddy?" she whimpered again.

"No Adie," I said.

"Why not?" she asked, looking frightened at the thought.

"Because honey, sometimes me and Daddy need alone time at night, and we can't have alone time if you're there, can we?" I asked her. She shook her head 'no' slowly.

"Alright, baby you need to get to sleep," I said and tucked her in.

"Goodnight Mommy."

"Night sweetie," I said as I left her room, turning off her light and shutting the door. I walked back down to my room and slipped inside, quietly shutting the door behind me. I approached the bed, where Brian was laying on his stomach, completely motionless.

I dropped the robe to the floor, crawling under the sheet. "Brian?" I whispered, to which he grunted in reply. I sighed. "That completely ruined the mood. I'm sorry..." I said as I looked at him. He kind of smirked.

"Actually, I'm still rock hard," he said, and rolled onto his back, his boner clearly pushing the sheet up.

"So do you want to continue?" I hesitated.

"It'd be nice..." he smiled, his mischievous little glint in his eyes. He reached over, pulling my body so I was on top of him. I sat up, resting my hands on his chest, and slowly lowered myself onto him. Brian closed his eyes and moaned as he placed his hands on my hips, helping me move. He started to really pull my hips down hard to his, grinding himself deeper. I moaned as I tossed my head back when I felt him grind against my spot.

I leaned down as I continued to move on him and captured his lips with my own. I took complete control and slid my tongue into his mouth as he laid there submissively. My breathing became shallow as I knew I was reaching my second peak of the night.

I bit my lips to try and prevent too much noise escaping me as I came. I heard Brian grunt and felt him release inside of me as I laid myself down on his body.

I lightly ran my fingertips against his damp skin as I regained my breathing. I sat up some more as I leaned down to kiss him. His grip on my hips loosened and I slowly got off him, laying down next to him with my head on his chest.

"I love you Brian," I mumbled as my body brought itself back down from its high.

"Love you too," he said, and it was the last thing I heard before I fell asleep.

I woke up the next morning and looked over at my alarm clock. It was already 7:40 and Adie had to be at school by 8. My eyes shot open, realized that I'd slept through my alarm, and quickly got out of bed. I threw on some clothes, put my hair up in a messy bun, and went down to Adelle's room to wake her up and get her ready to go. But when I got there, her bed was empty.

I went downstairs after realized that Brian wasn't in bed when I woke up, and when I got to the kitchen I saw Adie at the table, finishing her breakfast while Brian cleaned up.

I leaned against the door frame and let out a sigh of relief. Adelle caught notice of me first.

"Hi Mommy," she said, before taking a bite of toast.

"Good morning sweetie," I said back as I went over and kissed her forehead. Brian then looked over his shoulder and smiled at me.

"Hey," he said, and I walked over to him, wrapping my arms around his waist from behind and placing my chin on his shoulder.

"Thank you for getting her up and ready this morning," I said quietly.

"It wasn't a problem. I figured I'd let you sleep in after last night," he smirked as he turned around and kissed my lips lightly.

"Daddy, what was the game you and Mommy were playing last night?" Adelle randomly asked after she finished her food.

"Um... well... er.. you see, Adie..." he slowly stuttered along, being caught completely off guard.

"Oh would you look at the time! Get your coat Adelle, I've gotta take you to school," I said, interrupting Brian and saving him from embarrassment. He mouthed a 'Thank You' and I nodded with a smile before going to the door and slipping on my shoes. Adelle hopped out of her chair and grabbed her coat, pulling it on over her small frame, and then grabbed her shoes as well. I grabbed the keys and picked Adie up as I walked over to Brian.

"I'll be back in a few," I said before gently kissing his lips. Adie then gave him a hug, and we were on our way.

I pulled back into the garage after dropping Adelle off at school, and walked inside. I kicked my shoes off and tossed my keys onto the counter before I ventured into the living room. Brian was lounging on the couch, watching some show on TV... with a beer in hand. I looked down at my watch and it read only 8:05.

I slowly strode over, so I was standing next to him and not in his way of the TV. "Brian, don't you think its just a little too early to be drinking?" I asked cautiously.

He didn't even look up at me. "No, not really."

I sighed, and stepped in front of him, grasping the bottle in his hand with my own, and tried to pull it away. His grip on it only tightened.

"Brian, let go," I said sternly.

"No," he huffed, finally looking up at me. I tried to pull it away again.

"Get your hand off my drink, Vik," Brian said venomously. I tugged on it once more before he smacked my hand away.

"Brian, what the hell is your problem?" I asked as I cocked my eyebrow. "You seriously don't need alcohol this early in the morning."

He sighed in annoyance. "Why do you always bug me about it? That's all you ever do. I can drink if I want to," he spat.

I rolled my eyes. "Brian, I'm not kidding. You drink way too much as it is. You're going to kill yourself."

He glared up at me. "You nagging me about it won't make anything change. It just pisses me off so I do it more."

I sighed. "Whatever," I muttered, and I went back to the kitchen to put my shoes back on. I grabbed a hoodie off the rack hanging on the wall, and pulled it on, walking back into the living room. I went over to the sliding glass door, leading to the porch, and started to slide it open.

"Where the hell are you going?" Brian asked, like he had control over where I went and when.

"If you can walk away from your problems, I can walk away from mine," I spat, turning back to him.

He looked at me confused. "What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

"Well, you obviously drink constantly to get away from something you don't want to face, so I'm going to go so I don't have to be near you when you're a little bitch," I said snidely, before walking out onto the porch, closing the sliding door behind me.

I sighed and walked down the stairs, heading over to the large maple tree. I climbed up to a higher branch and sat there, thinking.

The way Brian acted the night before and earlier this morning was a rare occurrence. He was an alcoholic, I knew it. The way he got so damned protective over a stupid bottle of beer, and drinking at 8 in the morning clearly pointed to it. But I didn't want to bring it up because I knew he'd get mad. Of course he would never physically hurt me; that slap on my hand was nothing. He never had hit me ever since we'd started dating, and I knew that he could never bring himself to lay a hand on me.

I sat there in that tree, for how long I don't know, but I sat there, thinking about the past 7 years of my life being married to Brian. Think back then were so simple; things back then were better. When we were newlyweds, he seemed so much happier than he was now. He didn't let the alcohol get in the way, because of course he drank when he was younger but it was all in moderation. He never went overboard, at least not as much as he did now. And when he found out I was pregnant, he went so far as to vow to quit smoking. He followed through with it too, and kept off it ever since Adelle was born.

It just seemed that over time, he started to steadily decline, getting more consumed by his alcohol. I couldn't figure out if it was the band, or me, or whatever else it could possibly be that was causing him to be like this. It started to get mind boggling that I was a psychologist, a medical professional trained in finding out what the hell went on in people's minds, and yet I couldn't figure out what was going on with Brian that had caused him to turn out the way he had.

After sitting there in that tree, milling over my thoughts for what seemed like hours, I looked down at my watch to see it was already a little past 9. I needed to be at work by 10, so I slowly climbed down from the tree and headed back over to the house. Brian was still sitting on the couch, another beer in his hand, and five bottles at his feet, empty. I huffed and rolled my eyes. I went upstairs and took a shower, straightening my hair afterwards, and putting on my grey knee-length skirt and white button up blouse. I grabbed my heels, slipping them on, and then finished with makeup and perfume. I brushed my teeth before going back downstairs where Brian was completely passed out on the couch. I shook my head in disappointment and decided I should probably call Matt.

I picked up the phone and dialed his number, and he picked up on the second ring.

"Hello?"

"Hey Matt. Its Vik," I said as I gathered my purse and things to get ready to head out.

"Oh hey Vikki," he said. He was the only one who ever called me that. "So what's up?"

"Well, I was just calling to tell you not to expect your guitarist to show up at the studio today," I said with a sigh.

"What? Why not?" he asked curiously.

"Well, he's kinda passed out right now. He's been drinking since eight, and then we got in a fight and that always makes him drink more. So, unless you want to come over here and drag his lazy ass off this couch, he's not coming." I explained as fast as I could. I heard Matt sigh in annoyance. "Great. That's just fantastic, because he's the one with the most work to do. I'm so glad he decided to think of someone beside himself for a change," he said, with a touch of sarcasm on the end.

"I know right!? I swear, its destroying him. If he keeps this up it'll ultimately pull us farther apart, because I can't stand being around him when he's drunk and acting like a little bitch. He fucking slapped my hand away when I tried to take the bottle from him today," I said as I leaned against the wall, glaring at Brian's unconscious figure on the couch.

"Alright, well thanks for calling Vikki. I guess the rest of us will have to make due with what we've got today, cuz I don't feel like draggin' his ass around. I'll talk to you later," Matt said.

"Yeah, I gotta head to work too. I'll see you around Matty," I replied.

"And Vikki?" I heard him add.

"Yeah Matt?"

"If you ever need someone to talk to when he's being an ass, you can always call me or come over and stuff, alright?" he offered. I smiled at him, though he couldn't see it. Matt was always such a gentleman.

"Thank you Matty," I said softly. "I gotta go. Bye."

"Bye," he said, and we hung up.

I drove to work, and by the time I got up to my suite, I was late. I got out of the elevator to see Rhiannon at her desk, and one of my patients, Jory, sitting outside my office.

I frowned apologetically to Jory. "I'm sorry I'm late."

He kind of smiled. He was one of my more troubled clients. "Its alright," he said, and stood up as I started to unlock my office.

"I need to talk to you, on lunch break," I said shortly to Rhiannon, before guiding Jory into my office.

Rhiannon and I sat in Wendy's for our lunch break as I told her about my problems.

"So did he come home last night?" she asked as we started to eat.

"Yeah, and he was being all sweet and apologetic and I felt like I was being a major bitch to him. And then we made love and Adelle walked in on us--" I said, only to be cut off when Rhiannon's soda almost came out her nose.

"Are you kidding?! Haha! Oh man, that's awesome!" she laughed. I looked at her strangely.

"... Actually, the word 'awkward' is what first comes to MY mind... but whatever," I said. "So then this morning he's still being all nice: letting me sleep in a little, getting Adelle ready for school, stuff like that. But as soon as I got back from dropping her off, he's sitting down with a beer in his hand, and he's being a total bitch. So I went out to sit in the tree, and he passed out by the time I was back in. I just don't know what I'm gonna do..." I trailed off, picking at my salad.

"Leave him...?" Rhiannon questioned.

I sighed. "I couldn't. I still love him. And there's no way I could do that to Adelle."

"Maybe you should confront him. Make an empty threat that you'll leave him if he doesn't cool it with the drinking and see what happens," Rhiannon suggested.

"I suppose. I don't know if it'll work; he probably knows I'd never leave him. I just... I wish things would get better," I sighed, resting my head in my hand.

Rhiannon gave me a small smile. "They will get better..."

"I hope you're right..."