I Think We're Falling Apart

After we arrived back home (or well, Matt's home... my temporary home) at 5 and I had unloaded and put away all of the stuff I bought, I went to pick up Adelle from her daycare.

"How was your day, sweetie?" I asked after I had started driving back home.

"It was good. We got to do finger paints and I made you somefing," she said excitedly.

"Well that sounds like it was a lot of fun," I smiled as I kept driving.

"What did you do on your day off?" she asked, and I glanced back at her through the rear-view mirror.

"Well, Uncle Matt and I went to the mall and I bought stuff, and tonight we're going to go out somewhere," I replied as I made a turn.

"Like on a date?" Adie giggled.

I smiled. "Well, a friend date. Like when you go to your friends' houses and play games with them, only we do adult things," I explained. "Which means I have to find you a babysitter for the night while we're gone," I finished. She didn't say anything, but just stayed silent.

"Mommy... can I go to see Daddy while you go out?" she asked meekly after her silence.

"Well, I'm not sure. That depends on if Daddy has things going on. But if he says you can go see him, then I'll let you," I replied. It was the first time she'd asked to go see Brian since I'd moved out. I wasn't about to deny her the right to go see him. But if he was drunk, there was no way I'd stick her with him.

We arrived at Matt's house and I helped her get out of the car before we walked inside.

"Will you go call Daddy now to see if I can go stay with him?" Adie asked excitedly, jumping around a little.

"...Alright," I said. "Go up to your room and put away your school things and I will," I replied, and she did as she was told. I took a deep breath before I picked up the phone from the cradle and walked to the living room and sat next to Matt, who was watching some movie.

Noticing the aura I was giving off, he turned to face me. "You alright?" he asked, genuine concern in his eyes.

I sighed again, leaning back farther into the couch. "Adie wants to go stay with Brian while we go out tonight. She wants me to call him now, but... I don't know. I'm being childish," I mumbled, shrugging my shoulders.

"You're not being childish. You have every right to not want to talk to Brian. You've been through a lot, and it's been tough," Matt replied, draping his arm around me and pulling me near. I leaned into him, resting my head against his shoulder.

"I don't know if I want to call him from your house phone or from my cell though..." I said, biting my lip.

"Why's that?"

"Dunno. I just... I guess I don't want him to know where I am. I don't want him to jump to conclusions about me staying here with you because he'll get mad," I tried to explain.

Matt nodded. "Well, then just call him from your cell," he shrugged. I pulled out of Matt's embrace and grabbed my cell out of my pocket, walking into his kitchen and sitting on one of the chairs. I sighed before flipping the phone open and dialing the familiar number. I took a deep breath and let it out while I heard the phone ringing on the other end.

"Hello?" I heard Brian ask across the line.

I cleared my throat. "Hey, Brian. It's... it's Vik," I mumbled quietly. He didn't really reply for awhile, but I didn't hear him hang up and I could faintly hear him breathing, so I knew he was still there.

"H-hey," he stuttered. I think he was just as uncomfortable with the current situation as I was.

"Um... how've you been?" I asked cautiously.

"If you mean, have I been drinking myself to oblivion, then the answer is no," he spat, and I didn't really know what to say to that. "I've... I've been okay I suppose. I just... God, Vik, I miss you so much," I heard him say and I could have sworn he was starting to cry.

"Brian... please, don't do this," I sighed, closing my eyes.

"Do what? I haven't seen you in a week, and I haven't seen my baby girl either. You have no idea what you're doing to me," he trailed off, and I was certain he was crying by that point.

"I do know how you feel Brian. You broke my heart. Now you know what I've gone through. I'm sorry things had to be like this and end the way they have, but there's nothing that I can do Brian."

"End? No, this hasn't ended. You don't understand.... Vik, I need you and I need Adie. I will get you back, you can be sure of that," Brian replied and then sniffled.

I closed my eyes again when I felt tears beginning to prick my eyes. I breathed in deep a few times and then felt two rough, large hands rest on my shoulders. I opened my eyes, craning my neck around and seeing Matt standing behind me. He tried to give me a comforting half-smile, but it didn't get out all the way. He started to massage my shoulders lightly as I turned my head back to face forward.

"Brian, do you want to see Adie tonight?" I finally asked, breaking the silence.

"Like, for a couple of hours, or all night til tomorrow?" he asked.

"All night," I replied.

"Yeah, sure. Are you... going somewhere?"

I winced, knowing he would ask. "Kinda. Rhiannon and I are going to go out dancing and stuff," I lied. Hey, it was half true.

"Oh... well, yeah she can come stay," Brian replied, sounding like he'd moved into a slightly better mood.

"Just promise me you won't be drinking tonight. You can have her over whenever you want as long as you're sober," I said, being firm with him.

"There's no alcohol in the house. Are you gonna drop her off or do you want me to come pick her up, wherever you are," he asked.

"I'll drop her off at... hold on," I said, and put my hand over the mouth piece of the phone before turning to Matt. "What time do you wanna go out?" I asked quietly.

"Um... 9?" he whispered back. I nodded and put the phone back to my ear.

"I'll bring her around at about quarter to nine," I said back to Brian.

"Okay. So I... uh I guess I'll see you then," he replied.

"Yeah... Bye."

"Bye," I heard him reply before I hung up. I sat there for a bit and savored the feeling of Matt's hands working away at my tense muscles.

"I should probably make dinner. It's already a little after 6," I said, but I still didn't move and Matt kept massaging my neck and shoulders.

"Mmmmm..." I moaned deep in my throat as my head tilted back and my eyes rolled shut. "That feels really good. You do realize you've totally screwed yourself over now, right?" I asked.

Matt laughed. "And how did I do that?"

"Well, you showed me how good you are at giving massages. So now I'll be begging you all the time to give me massages," I said, smiling slowly.

"Eh, I wouldn't care if you exploited me for my awesome hand abilities," I heard Matt reply and as I turned my head to look at him, I saw the cheeky smile I knew would have been on his face.

"I really gotta start dinner though," I mumbled, and stood up, giving Matt a tight hug before I started making dinner.

At half past seven, I had finished cleaning up after dinner, with Matt's help of course, and decided to get in the shower. After I finished with that, I blow dried and straightened my hair. I slipped the purple halter over my head, tying to back at the neck, and then grabbed a pair of jeans. After I got dressed, I put on my makeup which consisted of a shimmery dark purple eye shadow, black eyeliner, mascara, and light lip gloss.

At first I was going to wear the new three-inch heeled boots I had bought earlier in the day, but decided on converse instead because my feet would have been killing me by the end of the night.

I walked down the hall from the guest bedroom to Matt's room and walked in just as Matt had pulled his shirt off.

"Hey, tie me?" I asked as I walked over to him and turned around. He tied the back strings and I turned back around to face him. "You taking a shower?" I asked, to which he nodded and then looked over at me.

"You look... beautiful," he smiled. I blushed.

"Thank you. I'm gonna go drop off Adie and I'll be back," I said and then leaned up and kissed Matt on the cheek. When I pulled away I noticed that he had almost a shocked look on his face. I smiled and walked out of his room and down to the living room, where Adelle was watching cartoons.

"Alright sweetie. Let's go take you to see Daddy," I said as I grabbed her shoes and helped her put them on. She skipped out to the car through the surprisingly warm fall air, and I followed her.