It's Almost Easy

I opened my eyes. My head was killing me. I saw red everywhere. I heard shouting and yelling from people outside of my box. I felt sharp pieces of glass piercing everywhere in my body. I heard a distant siren...

I groaned as my door was flung open. My hair fell over my face. It was damp and blood red. Oh shit. That was MY blood. I felt someone else’s hands undoing my seatbelt. Words in a comforting tone spilled out of their mouth as they helped me out of the car. I tumbled to the ground. I was breathing so hard. I coughed dryly as they helped me to my feet. They pulled me away from the wreck.

“Where’s Brian?” I managed to ask in all my confusion. The siren was getting louder. Soon there were flashing lights next to me. “Brian?” I shouted his name at the top of my lungs, which actually wasn’t that loud because I had no breath left. I could barely breathe. My chest hurt so much. More people trying to help me. I was forced onto a stretcher. I didn’t care what was happening to me. I wanted to know if Brian was still breathing or not. I was loaded into the back of the ambulance. I heard the doors shut behind me. Two people attended me as the vehicle started moving fast.

I slipped in and out of reality. I dreamt of Brian, being with him in the middle of nowhere. Our special cabin. Being with him in the studio. Hanging out with him and his band. The first time we had sex. The first time we declared love to each other verbally. Each time I woke from my memories, I found myself still in the fast moving van. This was horrible. My vision was blurred by red. My eyelids were heavy. My body seemed to ache everywhere. And in each slip of my past with Brian, there was a bright white light that was begging me to walk into it. I avoided it each time. If Brian was asking me to go to the light, then I would. But he wasn’t. He must be fine.

I hope.

*An hour later*

“Can I see him?” I asked my nurse.

“He’s still in surgery,” she replied. I think she was lying. She checked the monitors I was hooked up to.

“Can you tell me what’s happened?” I questioned her repetitively until she gave in.

“A man suffered from a heart attack while driving. His car accelerated right into your car. The driver died before his car hit yours,” she explained and I listened for any facts about Brian. He would be okay, right?

“How bad am I?”

“You will definitely live,” she said with a smile. It was warm and comforting, pleasing even. But it also proved she was hiding something. “Nothing too serious.”

“What about Brian?” I demanded again.

“He’s... I’m not too sure about his condition, to be honest...” she said, quickly scribbling away on her clipboard. I coughed dryly and my head started spinning. At least there wasn’t any more of my blood dripping into my eyes. That was scary. “There will be another nurse here soon to get help rid of the rest of the glass.” She hadn’t managed to get all of it out of my skin before. Stabilizing me was more important, she had said. I had a feeling today was going to be a long day...

*Another hour later*

“Oh my God!”

“Ashleigh! Are you okay?” I heard petrified male voices getting louder and I opened my eyes. Avenged Sevenfold. Well, almost Avenged Sevenfold. The most important person to me was missing.

“Have you guys got any news about Brian yet?” I asked desperately. My heart was tearing into pieces as the minutes ticked by. Why could no one tell me what had happened to him and if he was okay or not?

“No, we haven’t,” Johnny answered, taking a seat next to my bed, Zacky standing next to him. Jimmy was at my side and he kissed my forehead gently, showing he cared a lot about me. He then plonked himself down on my bed next to me as he held my hand, and Matt took my other into his hand, standing on the other side.

“I’m sure he’s fine,” Zacky said as Jimmy squeezed my hand gently.

“It’s family only, so we couldn’t even get a glimpse of him,” Matt explained.

“So what happened?” Jimmy asked me. It took me over 10 minutes (filled with coughing, spluttering, dizziness and pain) to describe the events that had taken place. I watched their expressions. There was so much pain and sorrow in their eyes.

But maybe just a bit too much for me. I was going to live. They shouldn’t be worrying about me.

Even Johnny, who I wasn’t that close with, was just about in tears. And guys don’t cry. Especially big tough guys with Mohawks and tattoos and piercings. Jimmy was crying, and Brian is his best friend, not me.

Did this mean he had passed away? Was he even going to make it? Was he in a completely hopeless condition and couldn’t be saved? Of course tears welled up in my eyes and my stomach churned.

“Ashleigh?” The nurse who I had been talking to earlier about Brian had entered my room again. “You can see Brian soon, if you’re up to it.” As I breathed in, I felt hope rushing into my lungs. I could tell my eyes had lit up and I suddenly found I had a lot of energy in me. Matt gently applied pressure to my hand that he was holding, showing he cared and was excited for me.

“Don’t worry. We’ll be here when you get back,” he assured me as my nurse started unplugging me from machines. She knew what my answer was already. I could tell Jimmy wanted to come too; his eyes longed to see his best friend to know if he was okay or not. Jimmy squeezed my hand once more before letting me go.

“He’s not conscious yet, but I know you’re determined to just know he’s alive,” the nurse said as she helped me sit up properly in my bed.

“I don’t know how to thank you...” I managed to tell her and she gave me a warm smile back.

“You don’t have to.”

And then she was wheeling me down the corridor in a wheelchair.

Down to Brian’s room.