It's a Syn Loving You

It truly was a Syn to love him.

It was hard work getting back our trust.

It seemed too awkward and there were quite a few times that I felt like not bothering and giving up on ‘us’.

I could barely speak to Val.

Everyone restricted me from seeing Michelle.

They knew she’d be dead if I even caught a glimpse of her again.

But I was crazy for Brian, and I couldn’t let that feeling go, no matter how hard I tried.

I continued to warm up to Brian, but things didn’t seem to get back to what we had before.

There was still that awkward tension that screamed out that he’d done something wrong.

That I hadn’t done anything wrong.

Typically, after a show on Friday night, we had a mini Avenged party in the small hotel room we had for the night.

I was half-drunk after an hour, like everyone else.

And then, because I had no control over it, I did something I thought would never happen again...

I stumbled into the bathroom, looking for the sink.

Matt had spilt some beer in my hair, and I wanted to get it out.

I leaned on the bench and put some water through the tips of my hair.

I heard the door open behind me and turned around slowly.

It was Matt.

He shut the door behind him and walked over to me, swaying a bit.

“Sorry...” he mumbled as he approached me.

“It’s all good...” I muttered as I turned the tap off.

He stood in front of me, staring down at the revealing top I was wearing. I didn’t move.

“Oi! Eyes are up here,” I said, pointing to my head, not quite where my eyes were because my accuracy was already out the window.

Matt put his arms around me, pulling me into a big hug.

That was weird...

Then he let go slightly and kissed me, pulling away ever so slowly.

“What...?” I managed to say.

Matt picked me up and set me down on the bench behind me, my bottom barely on it.

He then pressed himself up against me, forcing my legs to spread so I was sitting nicely on his hips.

Then he continued to kiss me on my lips.

I had no idea what was going on, and certainly couldn’t control whatever was happening.

Matt was a big, strong guy. There was no way I could push him off me.

I tried to open my mouth to say ‘stop’, but he thought it was me giving him entry into my mouth. His tongue slipped in and started mucking around with mine.

His actions were slightly sloppy from the alcohol, but he was still a much better kisser than he was a while ago.

All feelings of this incident being wrong suddenly disappeared as I fell into a dream of quite a few years ago when we were together and I had no interest in Brian whatsoever.

Matt left my mouth and moved to my neck, remembering exactly where I liked it the most.

I couldn’t help but to start to feel all hot. This was exactly like how he did back in the day.

I ran my hands through his hair, enjoying his company.

It seemed like he kissed me with so much passion and love... Something that Brian seemed to be lacking lately.

He kissed me over and over again and I closed my eyes, getting completely lost in the moment.

I moaned gently as I pushed his head further into my neck.

I really didn’t want him to stop.

I could feel him getting hard against me and I could tell what was going to happen next.

Well, I thought I did anyway.

I was wrong.

Because Brian walked in.

“What the fuck? Matt!” he yelled, dropping his beer on the ground, glass shattering everywhere.

He stormed over to us and Matt backed away from me slowly. I slipped off the bench and landed hard on the ground.

“D-dude...” Matt stumbled over his words as his eyes glazed over slightly.

Maybe he’d been doing more than just alcohol tonight. He didn’t look 100% here in reality.

“What the fuck Eva?” Brian shouted, getting really angry with me.”What’s going on? What are you doing?”

I stared up into his sweet brown eyes that were filled with pain.

I’d hurt him.

“I’m not doing anything...” I answered slowly after a long pause.

It was true. It was all Matt.

Wasn’t it?

“Brian-” Matt attempted to say.

“Fuck off Matt,” Brian growled while giving him the evils. And when I say the evils, I mean the evilest evil look you have ever seen...

Matt nodded and left, almost tripping over his own feet before exiting the bathroom.

Brian sat in front of me on the ground.

We sat in silence for a long time.

“Why does this keep happening to us?” Brian asked and I looked at him.

He looked like he was about to cry. He was extremely upset.

“Why does what keep happening?” I questioned, becoming sober from the shock of Brian’s anger.

“This whole cheating and distrust thing... We just can’t get it right!” he exclaimed, putting his head in his hands.

“I didn’t do anything. Matt overpowered me. I swear,” I stuttered as I moved next to him.

“And what? Michelle overpowered me?” he retorted as I put my arm around him.

I instantly took it back off after he made that remark.

“This isn’t working,” I stated as I realised Brian and I must seriously be over now. Surely that was the last straw.

“I want it to work, Eva, I really do,” Brian said as he glanced up at me.

“Why don’t you try harder?” I asked and he took my hand in his.

“I will then.”

“Okay...”

I was wrong.

Brian and I hadn’t finished.

He was sick of the mistrust we had.

He wanted us to work out and be happy.

And he was really determined to make that happen...