Pain You, Love You
Let's Begin With The Here and The Now
I grabbed him by his shirt and he pushed me away. He knew what he had done. He saw his mistake too late. I stepped to him again and he ran.
"Coward!" People looked in my direction. But, I didn't care. I never really did. They didn't either. So, I ran after him. He ran in fear. I ran in rage. I was on him scratching and slapping. My hatred came through and I was punching. He coughed a stop. I did. I looked at him and walked off. The ground beneath me shattered like glass. In between the craxks there was either a bright white light or a darkening abyss. I tried to step into the abyss. I was hoping it was death. But, everything changed tp light as I stepped on a shattered piece and sat up in my room. I looked at my pillow and saw the blood. I scratched my self again. Deep into the skin. My mom's alarm clock went off again. I hopped out of bed and went to get the bandages.
I leaned over the sink and let the cold water numb down my arm till it tingled so it would simmer when I swapped the alcohol on.
I am so angry. I can't believe this happened. It won't go away like it should. I can't do what I can do anymore. It's too late. I am screwed. They are screwed too. I want revenge.
I walked out rebandaged and just left on the sweats I wore to sleep. i checked them twice to make sure my bloody arm hadn't gotten on them and switched my shirt that I was wearing over my purple tank top. I decided on my blue chequered XL shirt. Got a hair tie and tied it in the back. I got my black and blue/purple high-tops and tucked my sweatpants into them. I looked at my pillow and noticed it was wet. I must have also cried. Whatever. I will grow up soon enough.
"Coward!" People looked in my direction. But, I didn't care. I never really did. They didn't either. So, I ran after him. He ran in fear. I ran in rage. I was on him scratching and slapping. My hatred came through and I was punching. He coughed a stop. I did. I looked at him and walked off. The ground beneath me shattered like glass. In between the craxks there was either a bright white light or a darkening abyss. I tried to step into the abyss. I was hoping it was death. But, everything changed tp light as I stepped on a shattered piece and sat up in my room. I looked at my pillow and saw the blood. I scratched my self again. Deep into the skin. My mom's alarm clock went off again. I hopped out of bed and went to get the bandages.
I leaned over the sink and let the cold water numb down my arm till it tingled so it would simmer when I swapped the alcohol on.
I am so angry. I can't believe this happened. It won't go away like it should. I can't do what I can do anymore. It's too late. I am screwed. They are screwed too. I want revenge.
I walked out rebandaged and just left on the sweats I wore to sleep. i checked them twice to make sure my bloody arm hadn't gotten on them and switched my shirt that I was wearing over my purple tank top. I decided on my blue chequered XL shirt. Got a hair tie and tied it in the back. I got my black and blue/purple high-tops and tucked my sweatpants into them. I looked at my pillow and noticed it was wet. I must have also cried. Whatever. I will grow up soon enough.