I walked up the steps of the library. I felt guilty again, running off behind Van's back. I was finding out secrets about her that she's been waiting to know for years. It hurt me, it really did, but it was what I had to do.

I made my way to the back of the library where the computers are located. Finding an open spot, I took it and opened up the Internet. I glanced through Van's birth certificate, glancing at the last name that I hadn't heard of.

I opened Google and typed entered my search. I scrolled through a few pages before finding old articles in the Orange County Register.

Fire Burns Down Huntington Home

A house caught fire in Huntington Beach late Friday night. The home belonged to parents of a single girl at the age of three years. The parents attended a formal event that evening, leaving the girl with nanny, Maricella Watson, who has been looking over the girl since she was one. The fire seemed to be caused by an unknown source, but fire marshals haven't ruled it as as homicide. Unfortunately, only the remains of Maricella Watson were found, but none of the girl. Huntington Beach Fire can only assume that the girl had burned to ash within the home, leaving no evidence of her death.

In the upper corner there was a picture of a burned down home and a picture of a three year old girl. A girl who happened to look a lot like Van.

This could be the reason for Van's arsonphobia, in fact I was sure of it. Her nightmares could not be nightmares at all- just memories. She was young, and having such a traumatic experience could cause her to not remember any of it. Subconsciously, she remembers crying, burning, and hearing a woman scream.

This doesn't explain how she got to the foster home, though. If she were in that fire, and she somehow got out, they must have taken her into foster care. Or maybe she really was kidnapped, but kidnapped at three instead of five.

I glanced back up at the article, trying to find the parents names somewhere in it. If this was really Van when she was three, then her parents are still alive. And if her parents are still alive, I can only hope they aren't as close as I think they are.



I waited through the whole song, not really paying attention to the screaming guitars or Matt's voice. I hardly heard any of it, and when it was done I sighed, "Are you okay?" Michelle asked and I shook my head.

"I have a headache," I lied before getting up and running off. I found a bathroom and locked the door behind me. I stared into the mirror, that scream echoing in my head. If that was Val's scream, then why did I keep hearing it in my nightmares?

This doesn't make sense. If I am truly their daughter, wouldn't I remember being kidnapped? Not a fire?

"Van?" I heard Brian's voice through the door. There was no hiding my tears, so I opened the door anyways, "What's wrong?" He asked.

"It's a lot to explain," I whispered and he gave me a sad look.

"Come on, let's go talk about it," He motioned me out of the bathroom and I followed him to another room in the back. It had a table and chairs with a few guitars on the walls. There was a fridge and a few pictures of the band as well, "Sit down," He motioned and I did. He did the same, sitting next to me and he sighed, "What's going on?"

"I have these nightmares," I confessed and he nodded.

"Does the song remind you of them?" He questioned and I shook my head.

"No," I sighed, "My nightmares are about a fire." Brian seemed to stiffen but seemed to relax when he put a hand on mine, "I have this dream that I'm watching a house burn down. I can't tear my eyes away from it, though. I hear a girl crying, and a woman screaming. Then I start to burn and sweat, but I can't move. Then," I paused.

"Then what, Van?" He asked.

"I heard a car pull up and a woman screams. I don't turn to look at her though. All I can hear is her scream and a man yelling to call 911."

"How did the song make you think of that?" He wondered.

"I can recognize that scream anywhere, Brian. And that scream is the same scream as Val's."

Brian's head snapped around to look at me. His eyes tore into mine, something dark was hidden there but just couldn't see what it was, "Are you sure?" He asked and I nodded.

"Did Val and Matt ever experience a fire?" I asked and he bit his lip.

"Well, not exactly," He looked away.

"What happened then?"

"It's complicated, Van. I can't really tell you right now."

I nodded as we sat there in silence, Val's scream running through my mind. I could hear it repeat over and over again. It wasn't leaving me any time soon, "Brian?" I asked and he turned to me. It looked like he wanted to cry.

"When we talked that one night you told me there were two people in the world that looked like Val and Michelle," I said and he nodded, "Did Matt and Val have another daughter?" Brian simply shook his head.

"This is where it gets complicated, Van," He looked down to his lap.

"Will you tell me?" I questioned and he shook his head.

"I need a while to think through everything. But I promise I'll tell you in a few days," He seemed assuring and I nodded, but not before he pulled me into a much needed hug.



I left the doorway, hearing everything Van had to say. I walked back into the studio and grabbed my keys, "Where are you going?" Gena asked, "Is Van okay?"

"She's fine," I gave her a tight hug, "I have to go check up on something though. I'll see you tonight," I smiled at her before getting in my car and speeding off down the street.

I was driving for a while before I finally found it. Jason had given me the address in case Jesse's dealer friends ever found him and Van. I pulled into the complex and got out. I ran up the stairs and quickly found the number of the door and knocked. No one answered and after waiting for five minutes I looked out to the parking lot and noticed Jesse's car wasn't there.

Quickly, I left the apartment complex and drove towards Jason and Matt's house. I parked, once again not seeing Jesse's car, and grabbed the spare key from my key chain. I went upstairs and opened the door. The condo was empty, so I locked the door behind me and found Jesse and Van's room.

There had to be something in here that would help me. Jesse was hiding something, I could tell. It's why he doesn't want Van around us or the girls. He knows something about Van that we don't, and I'm going to find out what it is.

Everything was in boxes, so I started with Van's stuff. After opening a few boxes with clothes, I found one with some trinkets and papers. I opened a file and found documents on her, but no birth certificate, "He must have taken or hidden it," I whispered to myself and continued to look through. I found a few pictures of Van as a baby. A baby that looked oddly familiar. I also found a necklace and a few medical papers, proving she once was in a fire, "Were Matt and Val in a fire?" I questioned myself, but had no time to answer as I heard the front door open. I quickly closed the boxes after taking the papers and folding them up in my pocket.

I made it to the hallway when I cam face to face with Jesse, "What are you doing here, Zacky?" Jesse asked. I glanced him up and down, noticing a file in his hand.

"I thought I left something here, must still be at my place," I shrugged and he nodded.

"What did you leave?" He questioned.

"My wallet," I lied and he looked behind me and into the open room.

"Were you in my room?" He crossed his arms over his chest, getting that defensive look he always got when protecting Van.

"Yeah, I had to use the bathroom and the one downstairs wasn't working. Figured I could just use yours," He nodded and I glanced back at his hand with the file, "What's that?" I asked and he looked down at the papers.

"Oh, just some stuff for the new place. I have to sign some last minute things," He said and I nodded.

"Cool. Well, I'll see you around," I walked past him, our shoulders pushing against each other and we made eye contact one more time before I jogged downstairs, letting myself out.



After my episode, which was extremely embarrassing, Michelle offered to take me home in Brian's car. I agreed, only because I didn't want to be around Matt and Val any longer.

They couldn't be my parents, they just couldn't. Wouldn't I know my parents if I saw them? Wouldn't I just have this feeling? I don't get that with them, but now I have reason to believe that it just might be possible. And what did Brian mean about complicated? What was so difficult about it?

"You okay, Van?" Michelle asked and I nodded, getting into Brian's car and buckling up. She had already placed my bags in the trunk, "You gave me a scare back there," She said softly, "I was worried."

"I'm fine really. I'm sure Brian will tell you about it when you see him," I said.

"He tells me everything," She winked and I smiled, "Val wanted to be the one to talk to you, but Brian insisted he go instead," She confessed softly.

"I'm glad," I smiled.

"We feel really close to you, Van. I don't want you to get weirded out or anything, but you remind us of someone we once knew," I glanced over at her and just like Brian, her eyes were clouded with dark emotions.

"Vanessa?" I asked and she shook her head, a small smile on her face.

"No. But we'll get around to that another day. In fact, I'm sure you and Brian have somewhat talked about it already."

"The other girl that looks like you and Val?" I questioned and she nodded. Before I could ask another question, we were home. I got out of the car and opened the trunk, grabbing my bags and turning towards the stairs to take me up to the condo. I turned to wave goodbye to Michelle and when I turned back I could see Zacky coming out of the condo, a grim look on his face.

"Zack, what are you doing here?" Michelle asked when he got down to us.

"Just left something here this morning," He smiled before grabbing his keys and getting into his car, speeding off in a different direction than the studio.
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language: french

not sure if i can update tomorrow, so i'm updating for the second time right now. i'll try to get one more in today and possibly tomorrow as well. i'll be gone saturday and sunday for fourth of july. :) woohoo for america's independence!!! ;)