Missing

"Van," Jesse was sitting up in the bed, hair disheveled and sleep glazing in his eyes. I turned to him and smiled.

"Good morning," I chimed as I opened the blinds. I sat down next to him on the bed and offered a cup of coffee, which he gladly took.

"I need to ask you something," He set the cup down and looked at me.

"About what?" I questioned and he took in a deep breath.

"For the three years I've known you, we've never talked about your past," He said cautiously and I took in this information. It was true, I knew practically everything about Jesse and how he grew up, but I've never opened up to him. He knew of my abusive foster parents, but nothing before that. In fact, I wasn't sure if I knew anything from before my foster parents.

"What do you want to know?" I asked and he shook his head.

"I'm just going to be blunt and come out and say it," He paused, "That girl sitting over at Zacky's table last night looked just like you."

"I know," I whispered and he sighed.

"Van, if that woman is truly related to you, she can take you away," He stood up and started to pace.

"Why are you so worried? I've never met my real family, Jesse," I told him and he shook his head.

"I don't know. Ever since we got here I've been worried about losing you. It's hard enough people want to kill us," He ran a hand through his blonde hair and sighed, "I feel like I'm losing you," He whispered as he sat back down next to me. I rested my head on his shoulder and I shook my head.

"You'll never lose me, Jesse. Not yet," I turned to look at him and I saw that he wanted to cry. He sniffled before blinking back his tears and forcing a smile.

"C'mon. How about you get dressed then we'll head down to the beach. We don't have to be at Johnny's until seven tonight," He got up and rummaged through his bag for his swim shorts as I walked out of the room and into the bathroom.

After changing into the only bathing suit I owned, I covered up with a pair of jean shorts and a tee-shirt. I tied my hair loosely in a bun and followed Jesse to the car. We were silent the whole five minutes, which was unusual. Jesse always had something to say to me. Either way, once we were at the beach, he opened up.

We tossed a baseball around and after we were bored with that, took a trip to the water. The waves were deliciously cool around my body and the salt water tasted splendid in my mouth. I hadn't cared about water pollution or the fish swimming near me, all I cared about was the water, "Feels good, doesn't it?" Jesse asked and I smiled.

"I missed it," I replied and he dove underwater. I did the same, not caring if the salt burned my eyes, because to me it felt alright. Everything was perfect. The high sun, to the glistening water, to the wet sand. It was bliss.

After ages in the water, and after wrinkles formed on our fingers and toes, Jesse urged me to get out. I obeyed and dried off on the beach, not bothering with the towel because of the sun. After I was only damp, I slid my shorts and shirt back on and followed Jesse past the car and towards the shops and stores that littered the streets of downtown Huntington.

"You enjoying it here, Van?" Jesse asked, putting an arm around me as he brushed his long wet hair out of his eyes.

"Of course," I grinned and he smiled.

"Good. Because I want to stay here if it's alright with you," He always did that. If I didn't want to stay, we would pack up and leave. Even if it meant leaving behind golden opportunities. It didn't matter to Jesse, as long as I was happy.

"I don't want to leave again," I said softly and he nodded. To end the day, Jesse walked us into an ice-cream parlor and ordered us our favorite. He knew mine off the top of his head- Triple Chocolate Fudge Brownie. I was a chocoholic, and Jesse knew that. If I sent him out for ice-cream, he was as good as dead if he didn't come back with something containing chocolate.

Jesse had excused himself to the bathroom once we got our order, and I sat down on the cool metal chairs at a small table. I was always comfortable being alone, it was Jesse who freaked out if I was gone more than ten minutes, "Hey," Someone sat down in Jesse's chair, and I recognized him as one of Zacky's friends. It took me a while to properly identify him, mainly because he wasn't wearing his Aviators that he usually did.

"Hello," I replied politely. Jesse always taught me to be polite and never rude.

"Are you here alone?" He questioned. I vaguely remember his friends calling him Matt.

"No, Jesse is with me," I answered and he nodded.

"You punched that guy pretty hard last night," He smiled and I shrugged.

"He shouldn't have touched me," I was ashamed of acting like a boy every once in a while, as long as it meant keeping me safe and Jesse out of trouble.

"It's good to know you can protect yourself," Matt paused before leaning back in the chair, "So Zack said Jesse isn't really your brother," He as implying something, but I had not known what it was.

"No. He found me when I was twelve and just started to take care of me," I answered honestly. If he was going to be around often, there was no point in keeping secrets.

"Before that, where were you? If you don't mind me asking."

"Foster care," I was keeping answers short, hoping he would take it as a sign to leave. I really wanted to get back to my ice cream without him interrupting me.

"How long were you in foster care?" It felt like he was interrogating me.

I shrugged, because I really didn't know how long it was. I had been there for a long time, so long that I didn't remember anything from before, "Hard to say, because the foster care is all I remember," I told him.

"Do you think about five?" He was implying something again, something I once again had no idea of what it was.

"Well, if it was five don't you think I'd remember my life before? It had to have been before I could remember my parents, don't you think?" I had gotten to the top of my cone, biting away at the waffle crisps that got in the way of my ice cream.

"Maybe you went through something traumatic that caused you to forget," This whole implying what I really was was getting on my nerves. He must have thought I was someone else, because of the way he stared at me that night at the diner, and the way he looked at me last night at the bar.

"Are you implying that you might know me?" I asked suddenly, "Because I have no idea who you are and I don't recognize you or any of your friends. So if you think you once knew me, you're surely being mistaken," I explained and he sighed. He opened his mouth to respond, but was but off by another voice.

"Shadz, I've been looking for you everywhere!" I looked to the door to see the man who always wore a fedora. Today, he sported a simple baseball cap with some sort of logo, with a bandanna underneath, "Hello, Van," He greeted before turning to Matt, "I think we should go."

"Yeah, maybe you should," I recognized Jesse's voice and I thanked to the heavens above me that he had returned. His arms were crossed in the intimidating stance he always did when he didn't like something.

"We weren't causing any trouble," Brian, I believe, said and grabbed Matt's arm to pull him out of the chair, "We recognized Van from last night and came to say hello," Brian smiled and Matt remained solid like a stone.

"You guys were also at the diner down in San Diego. Do you remember that?" Jesse asked and Brian nodded.

"Listen, Van looks a lot like someone we used to know and we had thought it might be her. Sorry for any inconvenience," He paused and held out his hand, "Friends?"

Jesse held out his hand too, shaking it. I could tell he wasn't happy about the peace-offering, but I'm sure he had a reason to oblige. Brian and Matt simply waved before walking out of the parlor. My eyes followed through the windows and watched Brian shove Matt lightly and start to talk, or yell, at him. He seemed frustrated and Matt just downright seemed depressed.

"Those guys give me a weird vibe," Jesse said, taking a bit of his ice cream finally, after most of it had melted in the cup.

"Maybe they're misunderstood," I suggested and he scoffed.

"Van, they're grown men," He gave a slight smile and I shrugged.

"Matt seems so lonely and out of place. He just seems so sad," I told him and he pointed his spoon at me.

"You listen to me, Van," He said in a strong tone, "Don't go meddling into people's business trying to fix them. I know how you are about that stuff, and it won't work here. If that guy has problems, he needs to fix it on his own. Stay away from him."

By the tone of his voice, I knew I shouldn't disobey him. He only used that kind of voice when he was truly serious about something. The same tone that he had spoken when we were leaving San Diego. Jesse was a nice guy, but if you get on his bad side, it's trouble. This usually ended up with me being grounded.