My Best Friend's Brother

I sit on the guest rooms bed and I stare at the wall. Cara, Mom, and Luke are having dinner, I wasn't hungry and asked to be excused.

Seeing my mom today was hard. She didn't even wake up. What of that was my goodbye? Some goodbye that would be.

When Cara and Luke were doing chores I talked to Mom. I told her that I would prefer not to room with Cara. I told her some of the story and she understood. That is why I'm in here now.

I pull out my cell phone and stare at my background. My mother and me smiling happily together while she tries to lick my cheek.

I feel a tear fall from my eyes. If she dies, I will have to go to my dad most likely. My dad walked out on my mother and I when I was four. I don't want to be with him.

He lives in Florida, I would have to leave my hometown. It doesn't really bother me that I'd have to leave Cara. I lost all the trust I had for her and I just don't need to be around someone like her anymore. I can't take any chances. Sure, I'm still her friend but being best friends with her is not an option anymore.

I decided that after we got home and she hung out for two hours with her old friends and came back high as fuck. We've been back for.. not even a day and she's getting high. That proves that I don't need to be around her too much. She will drag me down with her, she's done it once she'll do it again.

So we are just friends.. and I will not trust her with anything anymore.

Leaving Luke.. would be good for me. I know what I feel for him grows each day. I know that avoiding him is best now because I cannot let love consume me again. It only breaks hearts. Nothing good.

My mom really better get well, though. If she does than we will go on a vacation for a while and just get away from everything. It will be good. Maybe we could move. Stay in Missouri but just get away from the city where all my drama and problems happened.

I hear a knock on my door and I look away from the wall and stare at the door.

“What?” I say, stiffly.

Cara opens my door and I roll my eyes. “Want to come with me to see Ray, Ben, and maybe Kent?” Ray, Ben, and Kent were from my old friends. The bad ones I quit talking to but Cara never seriously did.

Cara wanted me to go get high.. Oh, yeah, what a great friend.

“No thanks.” I say and stare at the wall again.

“Why not?! Let loose, have fun.. Okay, Tri will be there.”

Tri was my ex-boyfriend. I dated him about a year ago, got pregnant, had an abortion, he broke up with me. The old sober Cara would have never mentioned him, I wish she could have made it a full year, but nope.

I glare at her. “Don't you ever mention his name again.”

She chuckles. “They really want to see you”

“Tell them maybe next time” I lie.

She rolls her eyes and walks out of the guest room. I sigh deeply. I just miss her. I think she's to far gone. I thought when me and her did those pills that she would stop but turns out, she was getting high all vacation. Ally sent me a text telling me. I don't think I can help her now. I wish I could. Maybe the best I could do is to go away.

Luke stands in the door way.

“Why did you let her go?”

“I don't know.” I admit “Maybe it's just because she is to far gone.. and she was already high.”

He comes and sits by me. He puts his hand on mine and smiles at me scooting close.

I push him back.

“Do you need something?” Being so cold to him.. is so hard.

“No, but I want something.”

I get off the bed and stand against the wall.

“Melody, what's up?”

He stands up too.

“I told you, Luke. We really can't do this. I guess you're not really my best friend's brother anymore but I don't do love or anything close.”

Luke comes close and puts his hands on my waist. “You could if you tried.”

I look him in the eyes. "No."

"You seem so.. closed right now, Melody."

I fight the tears. I don't want him to know how much I closed up in such a sort period of time. He will try to pull me open.

I shrug.

"Please don't ignore me.. I-"

I put my hand on his lips. "Don't say you love me"

He pulls my hand off his lips. "I adore you"

I smile a little bit but not enough to be seen.

"I don't want to see you like this.. I care about you so so much"

I break down. I used to be able to stay quiet and in my ignoring state for weeks but something about Luke changes things about me.

He holds me tight and I cry. "My mom will probably die, my best friend is back into drugs, and I think my love rule is being broken but I know I have to stop it from being broken"

He doesn't say anything. He just lets me cry.