My Best Friend's Brother

We get through are flight and grab our luggage and search for Mom's car in the parking lot. Once we find it, we get in and immediately drive to the hospital.

"Want anyone to go in with you?" Mom asks.

No, just, Luke I mentally say. "No, but thanks, I want to go alone"

"Okay sweetie"

Luke disobeys what I say and follows me anyway. I hear mom yell at him and tell him to come back to the car but he puts his hand on my shoulder and comes in with me.

"Why did you come in with me?" I ask, hesitantly.

He smiles softly grabbing my hand. "I knew you would need someone"

"You're not psychic, you don't know that" I remark.

We walk over to an elevator and get in and I push the button for the ICU floor.

I drop my hand from Luke's and hold on to the elevator railing. " Well, babe, I may not be psychic but for the past week and a half you have spilled your guts to me often. I pretty much know everything about you already"

"And I know nothing about you"

He looks away avoiding eye contact.

"Why is that, Luke?"

The elevator dings and my questions remains unanswered and we walk to the receptionist. She smiles up at me and I can see her laugh lines. She is about fifty and has almost gray hair. I smile back at her. "Hello, sweetie, how can I help you?"

"What is Heather Rose's room number?"

She gave me the number and I instruct Luke to wait in the waiting area for me. He does as told and I walk down the hallway looking for my moms room number.

I find it after I turned down a lot of twist and turns down different hallways. I take a deep breath and walk in.

All I hear is the sound of tons of machines and my moms breath. I walk in further and stand by her bedside. She is pale and her eyes are closed with huge dark circles under them. Her hair is frizzy and her lips are chapped. This women hardly looks like my mom at all. My mom always takes such great care of herself.

I frown as I feel tears tingle in my eyes.

"Mom?" I whisper.

No reply.

"Oh, mom. I love you. Please get better. I can't live without you" I grab her hand softly and it is extremely warm. She doesn't budge except her chest moving up and down.

"So, I like someone I think.. It's kinda funny seeing as I don't believe in that kind of thing. You would approve of him.. It's pretty crazy that I like him so soon. I mean, I've known him forever but never really talked to him till now"

As soon as I seen my mom I wanted to spill everything to her. I haven't had anyone the whole trip to tell all my secrets to. I couldn't tell Cara, she was too busy.

"He knows everything about me practically, mom. That scares me. I don't like having someone that knows everything about me, because that means he knows my weaknesses. I hardly know anything about him, and when I ask him he is reluctant. Mom, I really need you now. Cara and I are hardly talking. We got into a big fight when she had done some bad things"

I realize I'm crying now.

"Wanna know the worst of everything? I know I really really like this guy, I know it goes against my beliefs and I'm trying to stop but fighting my heart is so difficult. This guy is one year younger than me which makes things a little tougher, but what makes it the toughest is that he's my best friend's brother"

I wish my mom would wake up but I know that she can't. I hope with all my might she can hear me. I need someone to know this.

"It's Luke, mom. I've kissed him a few times before. I really don't want to like him because I still live in fear of being hurt. Sometimes I just want to fall into my old habits and just try and kill myself, which I cannot believe I just admitted but that's how I feel. If you leave me now mom, then I will give my life up to be with you in an instant. I know that you need to try though mom, you have to try because we both need to live our life's fully"

My make up is probably smeared and I most likely look like crap now but I really don't care. My mom doesn't care. I wish she could hug me right now, but I know she can't. I hug her softly.

"I love you, mom" I kiss her forehead. "Please get better" I wipe my tears and walk out of the room without glancing back.

As I walk back to the waiting room I silently pray to God that things get better.

God? Are you listening? Well if you are.. please please.. help my mom get better, I really need her at a time like this. Oh man. I need her. And please give her strength and please give me strength to get through these troubling teen years. Amen. I don't say much but I sum it up the best I can. I haven't prayed to God in so long. I have done so many bad things and just dropped God out of my life. I hope he can forgive me now. I really need his help.

It's pretty crappy of me to only come back to God when I need his help but now that I remember he's up there, I will pray so much more often.

I finally get back to the waiting room and I'm crying so bad that Luke runs to me and holds me in his arms.

"You okay?"

I pull away from him. "Yeah, I'm fine" I lie.

He grabs my hand and walks me out of the hospital. When we get to the ground floor, I pull my hand from his and walk to the car without saying anything else to him. The only thing I think of walking to the car is my mom in the hospital bed. At that moment, I feel myself close up. My wall builds it's bricks up from ground up the car ride home.

My mom could die.

I don't want to talk to anyone, not even Luke.