We'll Let This Go Somehow

There were only two hours left before Bryson Donatelli’s party, and she was feeling even more stressed than usual, despite the fact that her mother and best friend were there to help her with every little detail. Mary, Bryson’s mother was busy directing the caterers, florists, and DJ to various parts of the enormous home. Her enthusiasm for party planning really came in handy around this time of the year.

While Mary was scolding a young girl in a caterer’s outfit for nearly knocking over a crystal vase, Serenity, Bryson’s best friend, was with her in Bryson in her room, trying to help her calm down.

Bryson inhaled deeply over and over. She returned to her full length mirror another time to examine her dress. “It just doesn’t look the same as it did in the store, S.”

“You look amazing, B.” Serenity countered, leading her to the vanity, “Now finish you’re makeup.

Bryson frowned and picked up the black tube of mascara. She applied the black liquid to one set of lashes. Her cell phone buzzed and she saw that it was a text from her boyfriend, Matt.

Have a great time tonight. Love ya. -M

Matt had previously told her that he wouldn’t be able to make it to the party, which added even more stress. Bryson sighed then rose again. “It makes my body look funny,” she observed as she turned to the side.

“It gives you boobs,” Serenity laughed. “Maybe you’re not used to that, twig.” She stuck her tongue out as she teased.

Bryson smiled back and willfully returned to her vanity to finish her left set of eyelashes. It took her twenty minutes to choose which shade of lip gloss would look best with her silver dress.

Serenity laid back on the queen-sized bed with a Seventeen magazine. “You are stressing out about tonight way too much,” she confessed.

“Am not,” Bryson said simply.

“It’s just another un-birthday party, hon. You have one every year.”

Bryson sighed, “But this one really is the end.”

Bryson had her first un-birthday party when she was eight. It was a year after she decided that she didn’t want to grow up. That same year, she had watched Peter Pan and been forced to leave the kid’s table that she normally sat at for events that involved the entire family coming together.

The idea came to her after watching Alice in Wonderland for the hundredth time. Every year on the eve of her birthday, Bryson threw an elaborate, modern tea party to celebrate the last day of her youth. She always claimed to be losing her youth the day before her birthday. This year, she’d be turning eighteen.

She had finished her makeup, grey eyes looking brighter than ever next to the silver eyeshadow, and her brown, curled hair made her red lips blend elegantly with the rest of her appearance. She was stunning, even more so than usual.

Serenity gleamed, “You’re ready!”

Bryson returned a small grin, “I think so.”

“Good, you killed an hour on makeup alone.”

Bryson turned the volume of the music down with her stereo remote before she and Serenity snuck downstairs to get a glimpse of what was going on. The large foyer was decked with pink and silver flowers. The silver roses were created to accent Bryson’s gown while the light pink lilies matched Serenity’s dress.

The two girls had always worked together on the color scheme. Though they always matched the decorations, there was a dress code enforced upon everyone else: Absolutely no one was permitted to wear the chosen colors. People who did not oblige would be turned away at the door.

Bryson smiled when she entered the dining room to find mini tea cups thoughtfully placed around the room for aesthetic purposes. This party would be great, Bryson wouldn’t have it any other way.

Mary entered the room looking completely professional with her blonde bob and notepad. She almost didn’t notice the girls as she carefully wrote down comments about the decorations.

“Girls!” Mary whined, “you need to be upstairs so that you can make your entrance at ten after!”

The two friends exchanged guilty looks. “Sorry, mom.” They both chimed.

Mary tucked a piece of blonde hair behind her ear as she sighed, “Serenity, dear, you know your mother doesn’t appreciate you calling me mom.”

Serenity smiled, “Yes, ma’am.”

“Ten after is earlier than usual,” Bryson noted. Usually the two wouldn’t descend down the stairs until at least thirty minutes after the party started.

Mary beamed, “Your guests are already beginning to arrive. They’ll be permitted entrance at eight.”

The butterflies in Bryson’s stomach were really fluttering now. She began questioning why she threw such large parties in the first place. As the girls were exiting the room, Mary gently grabbed Bryson’s arm. “Would you like the Almost Alice CD played scattered through the night or all at the same time? I have to inform the DJ before I leave.”

Bryson looked at her mother curiously, “Leave?”

Mary smiled genuinely, “You’re almost an adult now, I think you can manage this on your own. Besides, it’s getting hard to pretend I don’t notice the beer bottles and the smell of liquor encompassing the room.”

Bryson forced a slight smile, “Scattered,” she decided with a nod of finality.

The next few minutes went by slower than imaginable for Bryson, but when she and Serenity were getting up to walk downstairs, the butterflies attacked, and Bryson wished she had more time.

“Remember; casual, yet elegant,” Serenity reminded Bryson as they neared the steps.

“I know.” Bryson said sharply through an unmoving smile.

Serenity rolled her eyes. “And you still manage to look nervous, even though it’s just a party.”

Bryson frowned, “This night is special to me,” she whined, “I just don’t want anything to be screwed up.”

Serenity nodded and turned toward the staircase. Welcome to Mystery by The Plain White T’s played as she descended down the stairs. Her dark brown hair shined in the light and her gorgeous smile lit up the room. A wave of jealousy came over Bryson. This happened quite often when Bryson was with her beautiful friend. Serenity was the only one who even had a chance at stealing the spotlight from her.

She quickly dismissed the ill feelings and smiled. This was her night.

Bryson took a deep breath and started down the long stairs. Halfway down, she spotted her other best friend, Nicholas, beaming up at her. All signs of nervousness fled Bryson’s mind and all she could think about was how much fun she and her friends were going to have.

She walked through the crowd of people clapping and wishing her a happy birthday. She ignored them all blissfully as she approached Nicholas, throwing her arms around his neck and kissing him on the cheek.

“You made it!” Bryson exclaimed. Nicholas has spent the past month in the UK with his grandfather, and he has Bryson believing that he would miss the party, but be there for her actual birthday.

Nicholas’s green eyes were as bright as he flashed his brilliant smile. “Haven’t missed one yet,” he said, returning the hug. “So where’s Matt?” Nicholas asked, peeking over Bryson’s shoulder.

Bryson cleared her throat, “He’s uh… not coming.” she said, glancing at the mass of people, now disbursing through the house. Nicholas looked at her apologetically, but their eye contact was already broken.

An awkward silence between Nicholas and Bryson was interrupted by an enthusiastic Serenity. “Nicky! Thank god. I didn’t think I could keep you a secret much longer.”

Bryson laughed, “You two are just horrible.”

As the girls prodded and pried to get juicy stories about Nicholas’s travels, Bryson pretended not to overhear another conversation going on.

“The bitch must have spent a fortune on these decorations,” Sarah Allen, Bryson’s worst frienemy noted to another school mate. “She just loves to make herself look superior to everyone.”

Bryson often overheard some of her envious peers trash-talking her, but she never seemed to care. On the surface anyway. In truth, at one point in time, she didn’t care as long as they knew her place. She had everything she could ever need, and the gossip just gained her more attention. It wasn’t until her senior year that Bryson obtained a working conscience.

Though spiteful rumors and envious lies were still being spread about the former heartless Bryson Donatelli, she actually gained some sort of feeling. This made her well aware that the obvious dislike toward her from a few of her classmates, namely Sarah Allen, was much deserved.

On her 6th unbirthday party and eve of her 14th birthday, Bryson showed just how big of a bitch she could be.

When her new, black Valentino dress arrived weeks before her party, Bryson was nothing short of ecstatic. The dress had cost her mom a small fortune, despite the other large quantity of money being spent on Bryson’s party.

As soon as Mary signed for the dress, Bryson rushed the box upstairs to her room to try it on. Being fourteen at the time, it was the nicest dress she had possessed in her life to that point.

When the anticipated night finally arrived, Bryson was beyond thrilled. That was until Sarah Allen showed up in the exact same dress in Valentino Garavani’s signature rosso Valentino color. Bryson didn’t want to admit it, but Sarah looked gorgeous. Possibly even better than Bryson herself.

Bryson spent the entire night attempting to make everyone at the party hate Sarah, with the help of her well-liked friend Serenity of course.

Bryson hadn’t even planned what she ended up doing. When she saw Sarah flirting with her crush, Zack Cooper, and watched him flirt back, Bryson lost it. Standing by the pool was Sarah’s mistake. Serenity and Bryson walked by and Bryson pretended to stumble on her shoe, using Sarah to catch herself. The splash that followed caught everyone’s attention.

“My bad,” Bryson said with a fake smile. She laughed and walked on.

“Cunt!” Bryson heard Zack call behind her. Bryson froze. After a breath, she turned.

“I will not be having trash like you insult me at my own party.” She declared. In moments, Zack was being escorted from the party and Sarah was drying her hair with a beach towel. With a smug smile, Bryson walked into her house, head held high.

Serenity saw past this. She didn’t immediately follow Bryson inside, but instead went to go find Nicholas. She knew that he was better at handling situations like this.

They found her in her room. She was on the seat next to her window, hugging her knees to her chest. She was silent, but her shoulders moved up and down with her sobs.

“B?” Nicholas said carefully. She didn’t respond. “You need me to go kick his ass for you?” Nicholas half-smiled.

Bryson shook her head.

Serenity joined her on the seat, Brushing Bryson’s brown hair out of her face. Though Bryson always tried to seem strong, that year was a very sensitive period in her life.

“Stop.” Bryson said, scooting further away. “Leave me alone. Both of you,” she demanded.

“We’re not leaving, B,” Nicholas said calmly as he stepped toward her, “We love you.”

Nicholas pulled Bryson off the window seat and held her, the same way he did three months prior when her father announced that he would be leaving their family to start a new life in Paris. Serenity joined them in the hug. The three did not return to the party that night, but instead snuck downstairs to steal ice cream to eat while they watched Beauty and the Beast. After that, Bryson decided that she would never have another bad unbirthday ever again. If only it were that easy.

Bryson, Serenity, and Nicholas had made their rounds, greeting all of the guests cheerfully, even if they weren’t truly friends with everyone there. The night was going by so smoothly and now the majority of people were dancing while others were getting slightly drunk and entertaining everyone else.

Bryson and Serenity were in a fit of giggles as Nicholas told them a story about a strange girl proposing to him at Exmoor National Park while he was away.

“Oh, N. You’ve always been such a babe-magnet.” Bryson laughed.

Nicholas sighed dramatically. “I know, it’s a terrible thing to live with,” he said, then winked at Bryson.

Bryson rolled her eyes and Serenity chuckled. “You guys are such nerds,” Serenity teased. I’m going to go find a stranger to dance with. And who knows, maybe he’ll ask me to marry him!” she teased playfully.

“And as for you?” Nicholas asked Bryson with a raised eyebrow.

Bryson shrugged. “I guess I’m stuck dancing with you.”

Nicholas smiled. He wouldn’t even think of turning down an opportunity to have his friend to himself.

After a few dance songs, the tempo slowed down and a slow song filled the room. Most pairs got closer, but Bryson stood still, rubbing her arms uncomfortably. Nicholas grabbed an arm and pulled her closer to himself. “What?” he asked, “You don’t want to dance anymore?”

Bryson grinned, “Of course I do.” The two started moving with the music together

Nicholas spun Bryson around and caught her.

“Impressive,” she giggled.

“I know,” Nicholas said with a cocky grin. “So is your party everything you planned?”

Bryson considered this then looked at Nicholas thoughtfully, “Even better.”

“I’m glad,” Nicholas said, “At least I know it’s better than last year.”

Bryson suddenly looked upset. “Please, N. Let’s not talk about that.”

Nicholas frowned. “It’s just that I never really got to say sorry,” he continued.

Bryson shook her head back and fourth. “You don’t need to. Really. We’re friends again, and that’s all that matters.”

Nicholas smiled and hugged her. “You’re completely right,” he said, then twirled her around again and again.

Just like any other year, Bryson and Serenity were in Bryson’s room getting ready for the big party. That year, Bryson was a bigger mess than she ever had been before.

Her delicate hands shook as she attempted to apply blush to her pale cheeks. As the brush got closer to her face, she dropped it and covered her eyes, breaking into tears for the third time that day.

Due to the fact that she had spent all of her time there trying get Bryson to at least stop crying, Serenity wasn’t ready yet either. The party would begin in a half hour, and all Bryson had managed to do was put on her dress.

Serenity removed Bryson’s hands from their firm placement on top of her eyes and hugged her. “It’s gonna be okay, B.” she smiled sympathetically and wiped a tear from her friend’s cheek. “If you keep crying like this, you’ll never be able to put eyeliner on without it smearing.”

Bryson pulled away. “I’m not crying!” she defended.

Serenity nodded and grabbed a brush off Bryson’s vanity, walking behind the stool to brush Bryson’s sleek brown hair for her. “You know what, continue ‘not crying’ all you want. This is your party and those people can wait for you. You’re a fucking princess today.”

Bryson looked at Serenity through the mirror and smiled weakly, “Thanks, S.”

By some miracle, both girls were ready on time. Bryson managed to fake a believable smile that entire night, even flirting with a few attractive guys from her school. The one that stood out most was named Matt. He was tall and blonde. A football player with amazing charm, and he was making Bryson forget about all of her problems.

Matt was in the midst of getting Bryson and himself drinks when she saw him. Nicholas was trashed, that was very apparent, Furthermore, he was NOT supposed to be at the party that night. Bryson shouldn’t have been alone.

She walked toward him with a mix of every emotion possible, but the most prominent feeling was nausea.

“Nicholas,” she said, her voice low and showing no emotion. Bryson was a terrific actress.

Nicholas opened his red-rimmed eyes wider and smiled, “B!”

Bryson closed her eyes, keeping the tears from escaping. When she opened them, Nicholas was less then two feet from her, the smell of marijuana covered him and Bryson was disgusted. “You’re not supposed to be here.”

“You don’t mean that,” Nicholas slurred, “You love me,” he said with a cocky expression.

The statement made Bryson cringe. She looked away from him, not being able to bare it anymore. “No, I don’t.”

Nicholas’s expression didn’t change. He didn’t seem the least bit affected. “B, you’re only mad because I kissed another girl. It’s okay, really. You kiss so much better.” He reached out to grab her arm and she stepped back, looking at him fiercely.

“Nicholas, don’t touch me. I hate you. I want you out of my house and away from my friends.”

Finally, through the numbness, it hit him that he wasn’t wanted here. There was no way of Nicholas getting his girlfriend back. He had screwed up, but he didn’t want to be the one to blame.

“Friends?!” Nicholas shouted while laughing like an insane person. “These people aren’t your friends, Bryson. They’re friends with your last name. They’re friends with your money. They’re friends with me and Serenity. These people, like me, could care less about you.”

Bryson closed her eyes and shook her head. “No,” her soft voice barley managed to get out.

“Yes!” Nicholas continued, “You’re just a bitch with money and connections. These people can’t stand you. I can’t stand you. You’re way too overwhelming. And then you go and wonder why I ended up with Michelle the other night. I needed a break from you!”

Nicholas’s shouting had captured everyone’s attention. There was a stillness in the room that lasted what seemed like forever. When Bryson decided to open her eyes when the shouting was over, Nicholas was on the ground, holding his face while Matt stood above him.

Bryson didn’t know what to feel. The guy that until two days before, she planned on marrying, was now starting to sit up on the floor after being knocked to the ground by Matt. She wanted to run to him to make sure he was okay, but didn’t. The boy she was sure she was in love with had broken her heart, and that hurt more than any physical pain that Matt caused him.

Now, Bryson found herself wishing that she had been the one to throw the punch.

From behind Bryson, one voice cheered. Soon, everyone joined in with the guy clapping and yelling. Matt walked toward Bryson hesitantly, “I-I’m sorry. I just couldn’t take hearing him talk to you like that,” he said nervously.

Without thinking, Bryson and kissed him. “Thank you,” she smiled. Matt smiled back.

Everything went back to normal amongst the guests in a matter of minutes. Bryson and Matt sat at the bar and Bryson found herself completely mesmerized by everything he said.

Feeling brave and relieved to have an opportunity to get over Nicholas, Bryson asked Matt upstairs. Something she had never done with any other guy, even Matt, in the same context. This was the beginning of Bryson and Matt’s relationship.

Nicholas turned to look at the house one last time before walking home. The light to Bryson’s room turned on and he saw two silhouettes really close. The lights turned back off, and Nicholas walked home, completely heartbroken.

As the song came to an end, Nicholas and Bryson noticed that they were they only two dancing. Everyone else was watching them with smiles on their faces. When the song ended and the two stopped dancing, everyone in the large room cheered. Bryson couldn’t help but blush at the unexpected attention. Nicholas kissed her on her warm, rosy cheek.

Painting Flowers by All Time Low began playing and everyone condensed with their dancing. Nicholas smiled at Bryson. It was her very favorite song, and Nicholas secretly loved it to. The song meant more to him than anyone could imagine.

…I'm hoping for a chance to make it alright.

When I wake up,
the dream isn't done.
I want to see your face,
and know I made it home.
If nothing is true,
What more can I do?
I am still painting flowers for you.

With a deep breath, Nicholas began speaking. “Bryson? Do you want to go outside for a minute?” he asked, “I want to talk to you alone just for a second.”

Bryson nodded and took his hand as she led him to the swing set in her back yard.

Nicholas sat still on the yellow swing, staring at the light up pool to avoid any eye contact. He began wondering if being alone was a good idea.

The wind blew harshly and disturbed the previously still leaves. This sent shivers his spine. He had so much to say to her, but couldn’t seem to put it into words.

Bryson rocked back and forth on her toes, the swing moving with her. “You’re awfully quiet,” she noted, “Anything on your mind?” Her voice sounded curious and childish.

Nicholas took a deep breath and finally looked into Bryson’s grey eyes, his own green ones sparkling in the moonlight. That made Bryson smile. She had an obsession with pretty eyes, and at the moment, Nicholas’s seemed more beautiful than anything.

“B, we gotta talk,” he said finally. Bryson’s expression became more interested. “I don’t think you should be with Matt anymore. I think he’s bad for you.”

Bryson’s eyebrows knitted together in confusion. Unexpectedly, she let out a small laugh that surprised both of them. “Why do you say that?” she asked.

Nicholas felt his face flush and didn’t know what to say next. “I…don’t know,” he answered, almost inaudibly.

“He’s cheating on me.” Bryson stated bluntly, “I’ve known for about a month, but I suppose I just wanted him to confess to it.” Bryson felt and sounded emotionless as she spoke. “I thought that when I told him we’d be over when I left for college, he’d get mad and just tell me, but he didn’t even seem upset about that. He just wants to wait it out.”

A fire started burning inside of Nicholas. “I’m going to kill him, B.”

Bryson just laughed. “It’s alright, N, really. Just calm down.”

“Alright?!” Nicholas practically screamed, “It’s not alright. He can’t just do that, not to you.” Tears started to form in his eyes and his voice changed to a whisper. “It’s not aright.”

Bryson reached out to touch Nicholas’s shaking hand. Without even thinking about it, he intertwined his fingers with hers.

“I never should screwed us up,” he told her. In a moment, all of Nicholas’s fears had drifted away and the only thing he could think about was protecting Bryson. “If I hadn’t made such a huge mistake, you wouldn’t have had to go through this.”

Bryson couldn’t help herself from feeling guilty for Nicholas’s feelings. She put her hand on his cheek and he covered it with his own.

“It’s not your fault,” Bryson whispered, “These things happen. To everyone.”

“But if I weren’t such an idiot, it wouldn’t have happened to you! You deserve so much more than this, Bryson.”

She let go of both of his hands, and sat apathetic, staring into the starlit sky.

Everything about her instantly seemed angry. “What’s wrong, B?” Nicholas asked in a weak voice.

Bryson remained quiet.

“Tell me,” Nicholas begged.

She shook her head, “You’re not doing this, not now. It’s been over a year, N. You can’t take it back now. What happened with Matt wasn’t your fault, but what happened between us was.”

“I…” Nicholas started, but he couldn’t find the words to say.

“Don’t.” Bryson ordered flatly. “An apology isn’t going to change anything.”

“I love you, Bryson!” Nicholas shouted, rising from the swing, “Does that change anything? What about the fact that I never stopped loving you? I made a mistake, and there’s nothing I can do about that now. I love you, and I want to be with you, and I want to kick Matt’s ass for what he did to you, but I swear, I only want to make it better!”

His voice echoed in the silence and the lack of noise gave Bryson chills.

Bryson sniffled and wiped a tear from her cheek. “You don’t know how bad you hurt me, N.” her voice cracked.

Nicholas pulled her off the swing and held her in his arms. “I’m so sorry,” he whispered, brushing her dark hair behind her eyes. They stood for a long time, with her resting her head on his shoulder and his strong arms wrapped protectively around her, wanting to take all the pain that she has ever felt away. “I love you.”

Bryson sobbed. “B, what’s wrong?” Nicholas asked.

She broke free from his grasp and simply stood, holding his hand, but not looking at him.

“This isn’t fair.”

Nicholas felt helpless. “What’s not fair?” he asked softly.

“This. Everything. I love you Nicholas, and I forgave you for everything such a long time ago. You’re my best friend, but we can’t do this.”

Nicholas’s arms fell to his sides. “But why?” he asked simply.

“It’s August. I’m leaving for UCLA at the end of the month, N. I’m going to be in California, and you’re staying in Ohio. It’s not going to work.” her voice cracked when she spoke, and she was almost laughing, though the feeling she was going through was far from funny.

Nicholas felt like he was going to throw up. The fact that Bryson would be so far away never hit him until tonight, and it hurt. Worse that he could have imagined.

“I’ll go with you,” he said.

Bryson smiled weakly, “We both know you can’t.” Another tear fell down her cheek and Nicholas caught it.

“I don’t care, I’ll go!” he insisted.
Bryson shook her head.

“Then what?” Nicholas asked, “What’s going to happen to us?”

Bryson breathed deeply. “Nothing. Nothing is going to happen to us. You’re my best friend, and it’s going to stay that way forever. But we’re going to be thousands of miles away and other things are going to change.”

“But I love you.” Nicholas protested.

“I love you too,” Bryson whispered. She kissed his cheek before turning around and heading back to the party. Alone.