Show Me What Living Truly Means, Bill Kaulitz

{ Sapphire’s Narration }

I woke up in a room. It wasn’t the room at Daisy’s grandparents house, it’s the hotel suite we were staying at. I sit up from the bed & saw all my things packed. I looked around the room & saw no one in the room with me. Then I come to realize this is the room I was in the first hour of arriving to the hotel room. I heard the door open & saw Francesca….or my mom. Maybe it was a sick dream or I’m just in disbelief. I didn’t think my mother was famous for pissing people off. She sat down in the seat across from the bed I was on. I was still freaking out because Bill wasn’t around, neither was Daisy, Georg, Tom, or Gustav. Where could they be?

“Sapphire, I didn’t think you was my daughter. What a small world huh?” Francesca said.

“So you aren’t kidding. You’re my mother. I would have never expected you. How long? When did you realize?”

“About the same time that Lindsey came to me in London. I didn’t realize how much you looked like me when I first met your father. I can’t believe I couldn’t figure it out just by looking at you. The last time I called your father was when you graduated high school. He told me you all was gonna move, but he never said where. That’s when I started hiring detectives to find you & bring you to me.” Francesca said.

“Well I moved to New York for college, but he was gonna force me to transfer somewhere else, he just didn’t mention where. I was gonna keep trying after I got back to New York or if I even decided to go back.:

It was a moment of silence in the room. I’m still trying to process the fact that my mother is the young Barbra Walters of music artist. Then I just thought about something else, I’m related to Lindsey!

“OH MY DEAR GOD!!!”

“What?! Sapphire what’s wrong?! Why are you screaming that?” Francesca said.

“Oh…um….I saw a spider.”

“Okay. Well, your stuff is packed & we’ll have a plane waiting to take us back to America tomorrow morning. We’ll go to Delaware to get your things. You’re moving in with your sister & I in New York.” Francesca said.

“What?! No! I don’t want to go back now. Bill needs me with him.”

“Sapphire, I’m not going down this road with you now. I told Lindsey it was a stupid idea to get involved with rock artist. She got her heart broken, it will happen to you in a matter of time. Now I’m going to my room, you’re staying in Lindsey’s room tonight. Already told everyone & I believe their asleep now.” said Francesca.

She walked out the room & I just wanted to throw a lamp at the door. I was scanning the room for my cell phone, hell any phone. Just to hear Bill’s voice. I was still a bit weak from fainting, so I couldn’t really walk. I made it as far as the bathroom. I had to at least try to clean myself off incase Bill came to see me…or if he wants to see me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~{ Bill’s Narration }

Francesca May Moss is her mother. My Sapphire’s mother. Which means I dated her sister, half sister. I needed to see her. From the moment she fainted into my arms Francesca had got into the limo with us & did everything necessary to wake Sapphire up. I was trying to convince her to let Sapphire stay in my room, but she said she wanted to talk to her first. Then made Lindsey pack all her things & take them to another room on a different floor. I tried her cell phone, but it went straight to voice mail. That was an hour ago. Since then I wandered from the lobby to all the floors listening for her voice. I’m on the tenth floor, a floor above mine. Still nothing. I was getting tired, it was at least close to midnight. I’m only tired because I really got no sleep because of the band & I searching for the girls the other night. A door opening brought me out of my deep thinking. I hid myself around the corner to see Francesca walk out of a room into another. Maybe she was in one of those rooms. I quickly jogged to the from she exit from & listened for anything that could help me know who’s in the room. I heard a soft whimper. It was Sapphire, my lovely Sapphire was awake. I was about to turn the knob until someone grabbed my shoulders. I turned around to see Francesca. I was a bit nervous looking at her. I’ve looked at her before, but now the I’m more close to her I see a lot of Sapphire’s facial features on her. Sapphire’s pretty eyes, the little mole near her chin, & how her lips were perfectly plumped.

She pulled me towards the elevator. I was curious why she was doing all this.

“You need to stay away from my daughter. Both of them Mr. Kaulitz.” Francesca said.

“What? I don’t want anything to do with Lindsey, just Sapphire & I’m not gonna have a Lindsey repeat with Sapphire.”

“I know you won’t because today was the last day you or your band mates will get to see her. I have one daughter in the tabloids already & that stunt at the club in Germany was enough for her. Then you had to announce it on primetime Paris television. I don‘t want this for my children. Its bad enough I‘m in this field, but it won‘t happen once she back in America with me. Plus do you know the scandals that will take place in the headlines? Bill dating a woman of color? You won‘t get pass the racist & prejudiced remarks” Francesca replied.

“I don’t understand. You’ve been absent from Sapphire’s life for so many years & I have to break up something that happened way before you even knew she was your daughter. I don’t think I can or will do that. I love your daughter Sapphire too much to just let her go like this. As for the racist & prejudiced people who have something to say. I could give a fuck about them! ”

“You may love my daughter now, but once you get tired of her you will have another. You celebrities don’t always hold on to significant others too long. You love her now because you think you have to love her for the time being. And trust when I saw the racist comment will get to you.” Francesca said.

The elevator came finally, but I wasn’t gonna move. She tired pushing me, but I wasn’t gonna go into the elevator without a fight. She tired & tired so many times to get me in there. When I had enough I started screaming for Sapphire, hoping she would come out of her room. I heard the door open and heard her screaming my name. Francesca caught me off guard & was able to push me into the elevator. By the time she got there, the doors were closed. I was pissed beyond belief. Why is she trying to keep me away from her. I love her, I need her, & I won’t let myself be with her. Yet people like Francesca, for whatever reason want to keep me away from her. My night can’t possibly get any worse. I got off at my floor and stormed into Tom’s room. I need the strength of my twin right now. Maybe me he can help me think of something to convince Francesca my intentions for Sapphire.

I pushed his door hard, stopping whatever he was doing with Daisy. They just had a fight with her family & it looks like its going to be one with Francesca & I.

“Bill! WHAT THE FUCK!!!! What if we were having sex?” Tom screamed.

“Tom….we just finished having sex. No need to yell at Bill.” Daisy said in my defense. She watched me sit down on the end of the bed. She was wrapped around the sheets of the bed so her naked body was expose to me. Tom was in his shorts & white beater. I saw him toss Daisy one of his oversized shirts. Tom came to sit next to me.

“Bill, what’s up? Did you find Sapphire’s room?” Tom asked.

“No, but I found her mother. She doesn’t want me to see Sapphire again. She said its not right along with some nonsense about racist & I’m gonna break her heart.”

“Dude, I’m sorry man. Maybe Daisy can try getting her to come around.” Tom said.

“I doubt it. She’s hated me ever since that interview in Germany. Remember?” Daisy said.

We all sighed realizing no one can help Sapphire, but Sapphire. I got up and dragged myself back to my room. Everyone wanted to get some sleep, but I wasn’t able to sleep because Sapphire was running through my mind. I never thought I would get her since the whole Lindsey thing went down and now that its over I thought about nothing. Sapphire was my future, even if the fame goes, & the money runs out, Sapphire will still be by my side. Unlike Lindsey who only wanted to be in the public eye. I don’t know what I’m gonna do. I need her, she’s a woman worthy living for.

With that final thought I drifted off to sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

{ Sapphire’s Narration }

The moment the elevator door closed I screamed at the woman that’s my mother. I didn’t think my mother would be a bitch. I’m starting to get the feeling that dada was doing me a favor about cut off communication with her. My strength left me, making my legs give out. My mother picked my up from the floor and dragged me on my feet so we could walk back to the room. Once she saw me on my bed, she left. I waited a hour before I remembered that I knew where his room was. I knew the floor number & room number. I also have the spare room key in my purse. I got my energy back, ran to my bags, & dug around until I felt a card. Yup, mommy dearest isn’t too bright as of now. I pulled out that sweet beautiful shiny maroon plastic card the read our room number. I decided to change into something a little more comfortable. My silky night camisole with my shorts on and fuzzy monkey slippers Bill bought me in Germany. I waited another hour in my room just incase my mother came back. When time was up, I quietly slipped out my room and ran towards the staircase. When I got to the eleventh floor I went straight to room 1018 & swiped my card thought the slot. I closed the door softly behind me & turned to see my little Bill on his bed. All he was wearing was his boxer shorts with a white t-shirt. I tip toed to his bed, kissed his face lightly, the cuddled next to him on the bed. That caused him wake up & see me by his side. He turned his body so he could look at me with those beautiful brown eyes.

“Is this a twisted dream I have to wake up from soon?” Bill asked.

“Nope. Its me fuzz ball! I snuck out.”

“We should sneak out of the country & go back to Germany.”

“What will that do Bill. She’ll know where to find you & she’ll take me away.”

“I don’t want her to. You were mine first.”
“Well, she gave birth to me so technically…..I was hers first.”

“I don’t care. She was missing in action from your parents divorce until now. You were mines first.”

“Oh Bill. You could be so greedy sometimes.”

“I know, but mostly when I want something. Mainly you Sapphire.”

Our lips touched after that & I never felt more alive than ever before. His soft lips began to travel down my jaw line to my neck. He began sucking on my neck like he was gonna ripe the flesh off. I wanted to see all of him, just like I dreamed about. He stopped for a moment to look at me. His eyes were asking me if I was sure & I answered him back with a deep kiss. His tongue entered my mouth letting me feel this tongue ring as we explored each other’s mouth. I felt his hand tug down a strap from my camisole. We finally sat up from the bed & I allowed him to take it off me. He’s never seen me in anything but a bra or a swimsuit. This was the first time he would see my bare breast. He grabbed the left breast softly and rubbed it. He then bent over & took it into his mouth. It caused me to whimper low & breath a little heavy. When Bill switched to the right breast my heart jumped. He used more of his tongue on the right one because I felt his icy tongue piercing. I pulled his face up to me & began sucking on his bottom lip while rubbing the bulge coming from his boxers. I heard Bill make a low grunt noise as I pulled out his dick. It was bigger than I thought it would be. I was nervous about how much would in my mouth or inside me. I licked the tip of his dick & slowly took him in. Once he was in my mouth I began sucking on his dick fast & I must say I kinda like it. He grooms himself down there quite well unlike the men from all the porn movies I’ve seen where the guy’s hair was all over the place. I heard Bill breathing fast, in my head I was hoping he liked it.

“Sapphire--y- you need to stop. I don’t---don’t….”

Before Bill could finish his sentence I knew what when was trying to warn me about. He came in my mouth. I honestly didn’t mean to swallow it, but it was like a river going down my throat. I drank all of him & sat up to be greeted by his eyes. He than attacked my neck causing me to lay on my back. He left a trail of kisses from my neck to my breast again. I felt one of his hands travel down to my shorts. He pulled them down without taking his mouth off my nipple. When my shorts & panties were off, three fingers slipped inside me. It was going in & out of me hard. I like the pain. I was moaning like crazy, but not trying to be loud. Bill than began to move faster & suck hard of my nipples. I was feeling hot & dizzy. I felt his powerful argue come out of me. I think I had my first orgasm. Bill pulled out of me & I saw how soaked his three fingers were. He licked his fingers clean & it made me smile a little. I sat up on my elbows & we shared each other’s taste. Bill got up from the bed to remove his remaining clothes. Then he walked to his night stand & pulled out a condom. I watched him rip the wrapper open & put the condom on. He walked back to the bed, hovering over me. I spread my legs open for him & I watched him position himself as he slowly entered inside me. I let out a small cry as I felt him stretch me from the inside. I never felt a pain like this before. I swear I felt something rip inside me. I gripped the sheets tightly & had my eyes shut. I felt Bill’s lips on my forehead. I feel like I can’t breathe.

“Relax Sapphire. I’m sorry. Do you want me to stop?”

“No, just go slow. Its okay…I want you to keep going?”

Once I said that he moved inside me. Bill went as slow as he could. A few minutes later the pain was gone & I felt pleasure. My moans became more inviting to the ears. He began to move faster & harder. My heart was beating faster & my grip on the sheets vanished as I gripped on to his shoulders. The bed creaked & he was beginning to breathe heavier than I was. Bill slammed into me more & more. I couldn’t hold back my screams & moans. Bill bent down to kiss me as he kept pumping his dick inside me faster & faster. I was crying for more, I needed more, I felt like I was about to explode.

“Bill -- -I wanna cum! Please, I feel it. Harder ! Please harder!”

Bill heard my cries & pleas. He gave me what I wanted. He pulled out of me & entered me again with me riding him. He bounced me up & down as hard as he could. I couldn’t help, but feel how his entire dick was able to get inside her. She had her hands on his chest, but Bill forced my upper half down to his chest as my lower half was still riding his dick hard & fast. Together we both screamed in pleasure as we both came together. I was out of breathe & all I could hear was Bill’s heart beating in his chest. The room itself was silent. I could have drifted off to dreamland, but I had to be back in my room on the tenth floor. I got off him & ran to my clothes Bill tossed in the heat of the moment. I heard him get up from the bed & felt his eyes on my back.

“I don’t want you to leave.”

“Bill, if she walks into my room & I’m not there, she’ll find me.”

“I know, but I don’t want this to end. I can’t lose you.”

“Then what do you suppose we do Bill? We can’t run away. You can’t give up your dream just for me Bill. This is you passion, I can’t drag you anymore deeper into my horrific drama. You gave me so much already.”

“I can give you more than his. I can’t let you leave me like this. Your mother is being unfair to you.”

“In her defense….I think she’s being a mom. Bill she hasn’t seen me since I was twelve. She’s been looking for me forever, just like I’ve been looking for her. I was a bitter person until I met Daisy, Tom, Georg, Gustav….you. You all showed me how to live. Especially you. When you told me how much you love me, when you kissed me, even when we were just friends. You showed me a new world. I don’t want to leave you, but I can’t risk her coming after you if I stay or run.”

I never knew I could be this emotional. I cried. It felt weird imagining Bill no longer being in my world. I turned around & he immediately ran over to me. I felt him wrap his arms around me. I looked up at him & kissed him goodbye. I walked to the door, but was stopped by him. He opened my hand & gave me his Silver Star chain he wore. It made me smile a little because I seen this chain before when Daisy first introduced me to their “Automatic” video.

“I don’t care how long it takes. If I have to come find you & steal you away, I’ll do it. I’ll come all the way to New York & steal you away. We’ll hide from her, the media, the entire world if we must. I’m gonna wait for you as long as I can, but once I waited enough I’m coming to find you. Ich liebe Sie Sapphire Williams.”

“Ich liebe Sie auch Bill Kaulitz. If you can’t wait or can’t find me you have to promise o move on though. You can’t keep your heart to just me.”

“I won’t promise that ever. I’m going to find you & if I don’t I refuse to find another. That a promise I’m making to you.”

We gave one another our last passionate kiss goodbye. My lips didn’t want to let go of his. He had his hand behind me head, pushing our lips closer together. I had to pull away from him & return to my room. I walked up the stairs slowly though. I wanted to take all the time I needed to cry alone. As soon as I got into my room I cried myself to sleep.
Lindsey waltz in my room at 5am to wake me up. I don’t like her. I don’t care if we’re related! Well she woke me up because we had to get ready to got to the airport. I honestly can’t really say what happened from when I got into the shower on to the airport. It felt like I wasn’t really with them mentally, just physically. We took off a 6:30am to Delaware. Then soon after that New York. This is the day when I die inside…..again.

TO BE CONTINUED……