Running on Adrenaline

I sighed and walked outside to find someone to get a ride from. No one seemed willing to give me a ride back to school. I could see a night of walking ahead for me. I hit the pavement and all I could think about was going home. But when I thought about it again, this place was becoming all that was wrong with home. Once again, I was in the middle of things, starting things I didn’t mean to start. A car speed past me and I jumped off the road, and tripped into the low shoulder of the road. I fell in a pile of long sticks and twigs; I just sat there while at least 5 more cars sped past and the wind rushed through my hair. I stood to find scratches tracing my hands and arms, I shrugged and wiped the blood on my clothing. I stood and once again found myself in the pile of twigs after James scared me.

“Fuck James” I yelled. He looked equally as shocked, not expecting me to emerge from the low shoulder.

“Sorry” he snapped “Thought I heard something”

I handed my arm to him, and he grabbed it helping me up and dusting me off when I fully stood.

I looked around to see he didn’t have a ride either.

“You walking?”

He nodded and looked down at my arms, flinching a little.

“It only hurts a little” I mentioned, covering a few of the deeper wounds.

“Well, maybe this will take the edge off it” he offered me something, a pill this time. I took it without hesitation, he took another out and popped it in his mouth at the same time I did.
In a few minutes neither of us could stop talking, we were laughing and jumping, ambitions to do illegal and stupid things rose in the both of us. The road to the school was shortening quickly and trees on the side of the road were waiting to be climbed. James climbed the branches and he reached a high branch, stopped and yelled at the top of his lungs, all of the cuss words he could think of.

I sat on the ground laughing.

“I’m gonna jump, dare me”

“Do it” I yelled, lying on the group looking through the scarce branches to the star filled sky.
James jumped and landed near me, collapsing and lying with his feet next to my head.
I got up instantly not being able to contain myself. We ended up racing back to the school and running around campus, trying not to wake people, and surprisingly successful in doing so. James lit up something and we took deep breaths each, I felt my body slowly getting closer to a comedown. And I knew it was time to say goodbye to the night. I took one last drag and walked to my room.

“You’re gonna have a real hard time saying no next time” James said like a smart ass.
“Fuck you and goodnight” I spoke fast as I turned the corner and walked to my room.

When I lay down, the last thing I wanted to do was sleep, that’s what I thought, and that’s what I thought my body wanted, but instead I dropped into a deep sleep.

It was a deep sleep, and I dreamed of something, but the moment I woke up, I couldn’t remember what it was my subconscious decided to focus on while I was sleeping.

My body was heavy, my limbs felt like they were filled with cement and I could feel the
bloodshot in my eyes. I looked down at my hands and arms, cringing at the dry blood. I sat up and felt my hair wrapped around my neck in tangles, and a loud repetitive beeping was heard from Heidi’s bedside table. She and the other two girls were nowhere to be seen in the room, and according to the clock i wasn’t late to class. I stumbled and tripped over to her clock, slamming on the off button, instead the radio switched on and a loud rave song played, shaking my ear drums. I pulled the plug out and sat against the wall, my head still throbbing at the rate the song was playing. I waited for the throbbing to become bearable and stood to gather my things.

A shower made no difference and I knew makeup wouldn’t either. I made no effort with my appearance, except to braid my hair neatly to the side. As I walked down the hall, I didn’t receive as many stares as I thought I would and I was glad, because I didn’t look my best today.

“Ame” I knew it was Oli, he was the only one who called me that here.
I groaned as a response.

“Good morning to you too” he smirked, and then grabbed my hand, the one with the deeper gash in it and pulled it closer to him. I didn’t have enough strength to stand my ground so he easily threw off my balance, and pulled me over and into his chest. I stumbled and stood up as he helped me stand.

“What the hell is this?” he questioned the gashed all over my hands and arms.

“What the hell is that?” I pointed to the large bruise forming that lined his jaw.

“I know for a fact mine isn’t self-inflicted” he made a valid point.

I sighed “Chill, I fell into a pile of shit last night, because I was walking home”

“Why’d you walk home, you mong” he stood still inspecting my scars.

“You guys left me” I explained, while trying my hardest to swallow what my stomach wanted to bring up.

“We thought you went with Brian” he made a face, and shrugged.
I shook my head, which made me dizzy.

“Shit, sorry Ame” he then grabbed me by the wrist “Let’s get them cleaned up yeah?” he proposed. I flopped around like a rag doll as he pulled me towards the large office, where I knew I would have to call my mum in result of my appearance.

“Lia” Brian was behind me.

“Brian” and suddenly, and I didn’t know why, my emotions were uncontrollable, a tear rolled down my face “I’m so sorry, I know it’s all my fault”

His face didn’t soften, as he looked from me to Oli.
Oli let go of me instantly and left me with Brian.
“It’s not your fault, Ame, but I can’t be with you okay?”
“What?” and you betcha, the tears formed faster and rolled at a rapid pace down my cheeks.
“You’re everything that’s wrong for me Lia” I could see the thought he put into this, and I could also see how much it was causing him.

“I won’t tell you to drink anymore, I know I was wrong” my ribcage was starting to hurt from the sobbing.

“What? Brian doesn’t want to tell you the real reason he doesn’t wanna be with you?” Heidi intervened.

I looked to see we had gained an audience, Oli included.

“Heidi, this doesn’t concern you” Brian looked worried, and tried to make her leave.

“Heidi, piss off this isn’t about you” Oli interrupted.

“Oh but it is” Heidi started.

Brian’s face flickered with something painful. I then recalled the first conversation we had, and how I promised him I would never leave him for Oli, because that’s exactly what Heidi did. And then it occurred to me, I was nothing, i was a rebound in Brian’s plan to hopefully prove to himself he could land a girl who wasn’t in love with Oli.

I swallowed, and a small amount of rage erupted inside of me “You cheated, with her” I stated.

“No, no it’s not like that” Brian explained.

Heidi laughed, and the rage grew stronger, my teeth grinded against each other with every word she spoke.

“He hurts people Amelia” she tormented “He hurt me, and now he’s scared to hurt you” she then walked away without another word. And the crowd’s whispers did all of the explaining.
“Didn’t you know?” I heard.

“Lia, let me explain myself” Brian begged.

I looked to someone, who made a face and said “He got drunk and started a fire, and Heidi nearly died” One of Heidi’s minions explained.

“You two are a perfect match, messy drunks” she tutted.

I looked at Brian, and hoped that I would see a face of denial, but instead I saw one of shame. Brian did have a story and a side that I didn’t want to know.

“It’s better for the both of us, I’m afraid I’m gonna hurt you” he said shortly and walked away quietly, while people tormented with their words and threw them like daggers at him.
“Ame” Oli started. I wiped the tears from my face with my sleeve.

“I need to study” I sternly said.

“What?” Oli was confused, he grabbed my sleeve, but I ripped from his grip.

“I need to study” I snapped, I then escaped into my room, which unfortunately wasn’t really that much of an escape, due to the fact Heidi was there.

“Sorry about that” she wasn’t sorry at all. I held onto my brother’s necklace which dangled around my neck. “I mean you had to find out”

I grabbed my books and bolted to the library, successfully finding a hidden seat, where no one would find me. I submerged myself in hours upon hours of straight studying, the exams were going to be here soon, and being stressed about school was my only way to cover up everything else going on.