Running on Adrenaline

Night came and so did my burning hunger for alcohol and most importantly James. My veins yearned for a chemical to course through them and give me something close to happiness.
My veins got what they wanted, because in a small dark room, I found James, and he found a pill, which found my mouth, to pass on the pill his lips found mine and it was passed between us.

“This one’s a little stronger” he then removed his hand from the small of my back and walked away to leave me in my closest to happy state.

I was as happy as I could have been, dancing and bashing against bodies which shared my same enthusiasm, the music shook the room and the vibrations found their way into my chest. I could feel the pounding beat and the drink I my hand trickled down my throat every now and then.

I was connected at the mouth with a dark haired guy, before I was pulled by the wrist out of the close crowd. I was slapped lightly a couple of times before I stopped seeing double, a smiling face looked down at me, and I didn’t even realise I was on the ground.

“You got way too loose” Oli laughed.

“Let go of me, I need more” I got up and stumbled my way towards the dark room with the pumping music.

“Woah, woah” Oli stopped me “Cool it mong, you’re not going back in there” he pulled as hard as he could, and eventually had to give me a piggy back, after I begged in my childlike state.

“Weee” I yelled.

“Shit” he mumbled.

He threw me in his car, and I could feel everything but my eyes closing, I was talking nonstop and Oli told me to shut up a few times, but I ignored his requests.

“Ame” he finally stopped me.

The blackness I saw was pitch black and I didn’t want to see anything else. Unfortunately Oli turned on the lights in his room when he laid me in his bed. He slipped my shoes off and tripped over my various piles of books on his way out.

I sat up and started looking for notes; a sudden worry came over me.

“English is tomorrow, I have an exam, I have to study” the stress overcame me and I felt the tears welling inside me; they hurt as they fell due to my bloodshot eyes.

Oli came over and ripped the notes out of my hand.

“You studied all day today, you’re fine” he told me.

“No” I grabbed at the notes he held from me.

He shook his head “Fuck Ame, what did he give you this time?” Oli knew my appearance had more to do with drugs and less to do with alcohol.

He then held a bin in front of me, noticing the heaving the tears caused me. My stomach emptied its contents into the bin and all after that was a blur of motion. An exchange of worried voices occurred, and someone stayed by my bed all night, other than that I couldn’t even see what was going on around me.

When I finally woke, I woke with heavy thoughts, thoughts of the burning disappointment I would cause my family if they knew what I got to last night. To match my thoughts my head was heavy, my limbs were heavy and my eyes burned. I sat up and in that instant I lay back down, I was too weak to even hold my own body up.

“Oli” I reached for his arm, he was fast asleep on the floor next to me “Oli” he jolted upwards, ready with the bin, and saw I was awake. He was instantly relieved that I wasn’t going to throw up again.

I didn’t ask him what happened, because I knew exactly what happened. “Why are you here?”

He sat up rubbing his eyes “The rest of them were too drunk to care” he yawned.
“Someone was in here last night” I recalled voices.

“Hannah and Tom came in drunk looking for you, and then they left” I waited for the rest of the story.

“And Brian came too” my face fell and I sat up “you’re not ready for that yet” he lay me back down.

“I have English today” I struggled.

“So does everyone else” he then sat me back up.

“Okay, the exam is in an hour, do you think you can manage?”

I got out of bed and grabbed my clothes, Oli watched me as I stumbled all over the place.
“Do I smell puke?” I mumbled.

“That would be you” Oli smirked.

I grabbed at my neck, and kept grabbing at it before i realised my necklace wasn’t there. A look of panic flashed across my eyes, but it soon left when Oli stood next to me, with the necklace in hand.

“Ame, I know you’re not gonna like this, but I need to help you”

“No, that doesn’t show the right idea” I moved away from him.

“You can’t even walk in a straight line” he then took my wrist, grabbed my clothes and a towel and walked carelessly down the hall with me, stumbling behind him. He took me and shoved me into his room sitting me on his bed and starting his shower up.

I shook my head “You don’t need to do this”

“I think im the only person who can”

“Oli, stop it” I ordered.

Oli sat with his back to the shower, while I showered, he would ask every now and again if I was still standing, and I would simply answer.

“Yes Oli, yes”

The water trickled down my weary frame, and the hot water soaked my skin, washing away the night of mayhem I lived through.

“I’m done” I reported, turning off the shower.

Oli covered his eyes and gave me the towel; I quickly wrapped it around myself, and smirked.

“I’m covered” I smirked.

“Just being safe” he mentioned, he then threw my uniform at me and left the bathroom, trusting I could get dressed myself.

I came out, my hair in neat bun and my uniform perfectly aligned.

“Yeah, you still look wasted” he reported, whilst lying on his bed, getting some sleep.
I shrugged “I could just be tired, from a night of studying” just speaking made me tired; I sat, trying to gain some strength in my limbs.

“Here’s the deal, you need water and one of the canteens huge cookies, they always hit the spot” he smiled.

“That’s what you do for a hangover?”

He shrugged “You have nothing to lose”

We walked beside each other, separated at least half a meter to not look suspicious, but it turns out no one really cared, everyone was too stressed thinking about the first of our last exams.

The canteen was filled with nervous people stuffing their faces with something to cover the nervous feelings in their stomachs. The sight of them made me lose my appetite, and when oli handed me an exceptionally large cookie I took the water in his other hand and sat in the nearest chair.

My head laid on the edge of the table as I read over my notes, the pages just blurred in my vision and Oli would poke me to make sure I was still awake every few minutes.

He poked me the last time “Oli, I am awake” I said, he then slid over some food and smiled, then continued reading a book.

I held my nose while chewing my food.

“You’re being a little dramatic”

“And you’re being a little annoying”

“I get it, you’re snappy cause you’re in the middle of a comedown” he shrugged.

“How am I even going to do this?” I groaned.

“With this” he placed a packet of pills in front of me “Take it with food”

“You’re giving me more drugs to get rid of the comedown caused by drugs?”

“They’re just no-doze”

I looked puzzled and he laughed “Everyone does them, it just gives you that extra edge during the exam, trust me” I took it easily from his hand and swallowed it with a gulp of water.

I slowly felt my mind awake and slowly the time came closer to piling into a room and sitting at a desk for a good few hours of writing and writing.

My last full stop was a memorable one, and it was followed with a triumphant feeling, but was then dulled with the fact that I still had exams for the rest of the week.

I walked out of the room and avoided contact with anyone, I managed to grab most of my notes from my room and hide myself away in the library, only to find the no-doze had worn off, and my head was connected with the desk for a good hour.

“Why do you think you can always hide?” Tom shook me and I woke. He smiled until he saw my appearance; he then sighed and sat leaned on the desk.

“We need you for practise in 3 hours, you reckon you can manage that?” he asked, I shrugged.

“Lia, don’t shrug, say yes or no”

“Look Tom, I have other things on my mind” I began flicking through my pages of notes.

“We all do Lia” Tom reminded me “Look Lia” I kept reading and ignored him “Lia” Tom grabbed my arm.

“You know you can just say if you can’t handle things, we’re all here for you” he reminded me.

“I’m fine” I half smiled “Just stressed-”

“But that’s the thing” Tom stopped me “You don’t need to be stressed, you study every waking moment”

“Goodbye Tom” I shooed him away.

He managed a large sigh “3 hours” he was then shushed by a short woman who gave me a warning look.

My mind was filled with facts and things I didn’t ever think I needed to know, but I kept going and going. I honestly didn’t know what was pulling me through, I guess it had something to do with the no-doze I would pop every time I felt tired. My mind pushed all the things I didn’t want to deal with away, and instead I occupied it with formulas and useless facts.

“It’s been 3 hours Lia” Tom was once again standing by my desk tapping his foot.