Before I Met You

I turned around after he finished his sentence and made my way up the creaky steps of my front porch. Hearing him pull out of my driveway, I glance over my slim shoulder to see his car disappear down the street, carrying the beautiful mysterious boy out of my life for the moment being.

Reaching around to my back pocket to place my key in the lock, I pressed against my peeling white front door to ease it open. I stepped inside, slipping off my simple flats to set them gently by the door and made my way inside the still, quiet house.

Flipping on the lights as I went, the house seemed even lonelier than before. It might’ve been the fact that my father was never here, always one to work late nights. My mother… well.

That was a whole separate story.

Sighing wearily, I reached up and swung my hair right out of its updo, leaving some braids free to hang elegantly around my face as I walked over to the refrigerator to grab a single apple. Closing the door, I made my way to the hallway that would lead me to my bedroom, slipping in as silent as ever before closing the door and locking it.

I was a paranoid person when home alone. Locked doors happened to be one of the habits I normally inhibited this happened, which was more often than not. Late nights, endless hours of restless sleep, this was the life of a child left alone. A child like me.

Placing the red fruit on my white desk, I shrugged out of my patterned, over sized white shirt to let it hang off of the back of a chair, and slipped off my light washed denim jeans. The only thing I left on was my undergarments and my long necklace. I fingered this necklace as I pondered how it was possibly the most significant part of my daily attire, its meaning more relevant to my underlying character normally hidden by my shy demeanor; it was certainly the part of me that held my demons at bay.

Shaking the thought out of my head, I changed into shorts and a pullover hoodie. Tugging on the drawstrings to be more comfortable, I entered my bathroom to brush my teeth, pausing to let my spirit rest from my overbearing thoughts.

The tiny, cramped room was dimly lit by a single light above the mirror. I peered at myself in the mirror as I brushed away at my teeth, mentally assessing myself. This wasn’t a habit by any means, but I always seemed to find something to complain about, even when people always informed me that I never needed to do anything to myself. A natural beauty, they called me. With my dark hair and pale, ghostly skin, I was apparently considered the beautiful equivalent of a walking phantom.

Beauty is only skin deep, I reminded myself.

Breathing out, I left the room and collapsed on my bed upon reentering my room. Staring up at the popcorn ceiling, I gazed upon the memories of the lovely boy, the memories of Diego and his magical presence.

A soul so pure at first glance, broken by the seconds passing as you considered him further. Dancing, spinning, casting a spell over all, he was flawless. Choosing to let him show me his place, even when I had no idea who he was or what he wanted or where he came from, trusting him was a part of the price you paid to see him in the flesh, to his unnatural form of goodness breathe and laugh and splash around in the salty waters of tide.

Rolling over, I turned on my side to see my Venetian blind-covered window. Reaching out, my pale fingers separated two of the divides, breaking the wall to privacy and secrecy to glance out at the world I was not so fond of at times, and never really happy with most of the other.

The night was dark, the window slightly frosted due to the incoming cold. Lonely and dark, the night always seemed to remind me a bit of myself. The disappointment coursed through me as it would anyone else who realized the similarities in two such things, these melancholy thoughts penetrating my mind again. I was not depressed by any means but simply unimpressed with the world and what it and its sins had to offer. Not a god or even a mere soulless body could dare even change my opinion of this place. I believed my presence here was to be a lonely one, where my words were lost in a crowd of people who simply had no interest in getting to know someone that didn’t remind them of themselves. I was quiet, I was thoughtful, and I was nothing but bitter when I wanted to be.

I released the blinds and pulled the sheet over me in a vain attempt to shield myself from the torturous sobs that controlled me then. No one could see me, no one could hear me, and no one could feel my pain as I felt it, or so had been my thoughts at the moment.

Little did I know that there was a broken, dancing boy named Diego across town who suddenly felt an unexplainable jolt of pain in his weak heart at that very moment. Rubbing his chest, he looked upon the stars in wonder of what caused it, pausing as the white pills were to normally make their way to his mouth, while the joining of their souls smiled in gentle wonder of how they could not sense it.