Everyone Learns Faster On Fire

As soon as Gerard closed the door, the passionate kissing began. The smaller man moved closer to him, pushing him against the door and preventing escape of any kind. Frank’s skilled hands wandered around his waist and up his shirt, softly caressing his back. Lips danced over his neck and collarbone as Frank gently slipped Gerard’s black tee-shirt over his head. What a perfect finale to a long and tiring world tour.
But amidst Frank’s loving gestures, Gerard slid away, snaked himself around Frank and collapsed on the sofa at the side of the room, too burnt out and exhausted for any messing about tonight. Frank looked crestfallen and rejected. In his puppy dog eyes, Gerard could see his own shirtless reflection.

“Gerard?” Frank asked, daring to perch on the arm of the chair next to his lover. “Is everything alright?”

Gerard nodded and placed a light kiss on his cheek. “Yeah. I’m just tired, y’know? …Can’t we just hug n’ stuff?”

Frank smiled as if to say ‘whatever you want’ and slid down onto the sofa, wrapping his arms around Gerard’s torso and placing his head so it was resting on his chest. “I love you.” He mumbled, tiredly.

“I love you too,” Gerard smiled, playing fondly with Frank’s dyed hair, noticing how much his natural hair colour was showing through.

Gerard was going to miss the blissfully gentle moments he shared with Frank like this when they were on tour. It was heartbreaking to think that tomorrow, they would be boarding a plane back to New Jersey and heading towards home, where moments like this had to be strictly limited. It was hard enough trying to keep it from the rest of the band on tour, but how were they going to manage sneaking out of the house from their girlfriends? It was like being a teenager again, sneaking away from suspicious and overprotective parents in order to go on an awkward date with a schoolmate.
But Gerard tried his utmost to push the worrying thoughts from his mind. He wasn’t going to let anxiety and concern about how he and Frank were going to keep this a secret ruin their last night together. He was going to focus on enjoying himself while he could. He inhaled the sweet scent of the aftershave he had given Frank for his birthday a few weeks back, mixed with the odour of sweat earned from their final show barely an hour previously. He wanted to remember this smell forever. He wanted to stay in Frank’s arms forever, even if it meant touring constantly for the rest of their lives.
They stayed silent for a few minutes, each man indulging in the moments they spent together before Gerard spoke softly.

“Looking forward to seeing Jamia again?” He asked, hoping the answer would be a firm ‘no’.

“Yeah, I’ve really missed her.” Frank said as Gerard felt his heart sink into the pit of his stomach. “Phone calls just aren’t the same as speaking to her in person. It feels like I’m talking to someone else.”

Frank got up from the sofa and walked over to his jacket, which was hanging on a hook on the back of the hotel room door, and began fiddling around in the pockets. For a second, Gerard thought he was going to pull out his pack of twenty and a lighter, but instead he pulled out something else. Something that made Gerard’s heart do summersaults in his chest.

Frank walked back over to the sofa, holding a small velvet box between his black nail lacquered fingers. “I was thinking-”

“Oh, Frankie, of course!” Gerard beamed, thinking the there was nothing in the world he wanted more than to marry him. It was like a dream come true.

Frank giggled. “How do you know that she’ll like it if I haven’t even opened the box yet?!”

He felt his heart sink back down to the floor like a ship dropping it‘s anchor. Gerard couldn’t believe he could be so stupid. Of course Frank was talking about Jamia, not a marriage proposal to him! But luckily, Frank hadn’t seemed to notice, so Gerard gritted his teeth and smiled. “Oh, I just know that you always buy amazing presents for her… She’ll love it, I’m sure.”

“Really?” Frank frowned, sitting back down. He opened the box to reveal the most beautiful item of jewellery Gerard had ever seen. A glittering golden ring with an elegant diamond gemstone set into it. It must have cost a fortune. “She doesn’t really wear much gold.”

Gerard was speechless. Like it? She would love it. Even Gerard himself would wear it. “Baby, that’s so beautiful…I think that’s probably the best homecoming present anyone has ever received.”

Frank shook his head. “It’s not a homecoming present, though…y’see…I was thinking of asking her to marry me.”

That one sentence seemed to tear Gerard’s entire world apart. His hopes and dreams seemed to be spiralling down into a deep black hole. Marry her? What about him? They had been sleeping together for the past year, and now he was being told that Frank was going to propose to someone else? It was like an arrow through the heart. But it wasn’t Cupid’s arrow. It was an arrow from Satan himself. And it fucking hurt.
Gerard must have been silent for a while, because Frank asked him if he was alright.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Gerard lied, avoiding Frank’s lips when he tried to kiss him and got up to look out of the window. “When are you planning on doing it?”

“Well, not right now.” Frank said, feeling awkward. “Maybe in a couple of months…Are you sure you’re alright? You’re not angry with me are you?”

“No, no.” Gerard fibbed once more, pulling back the curtains and peering out onto the dark street below. “But if you ask her, you must promise me one thing.”

“Yes, anything.” Frank said, appearing by his side.

Gerard turned and looked deeply into Frank’s eyes. “You must tell her about us.”