Everyone Learns Faster On Fire

‘Fuck off, I’m not telling her anything.’ Frank silently ranted as he packed the last remaining items into his already overflowing suitcase, and sat on it to keep all the escaping contents inside. ‘Jamia is my girlfriend and I can tell her what I want to tell her. Gerard can’t make me do anything. No matter what he says.’

The previous evening, Gerard had firmly told him that if he was going to marry Jamia, he had to be completely honest with her, otherwise the two men’s relationship was at risk. But what was in it for Frank? If he told her, then she would probably leave him for good. How else would she react if he told her that he had been sleeping with another man behind her back? Telling her would just cause unnecessary heartache for all three parties. Jamia would feel upset and betrayed, Frank would be letdown that she had left him, and Gerard would be having to deal with a distressed Frank during a break up. It wasn’t fair to put everyone through that. He had already lied enough, so Frank had another plan. Lying one more time wasn’t going to hurt.

‘I’m going to lie to Gerard and say that I told Jamia.’ Frank thought as he dragged his suitcase out into the hall. ‘I’m lying to make all three of us happy. It’s for the best.’

But however much he tried to convince himself that this was the right thing to do, there was still that dire feeling that the flower he had worked hard to nourish and care for, was going to wither and die before his very eyes.

Later that day, the band piled onto their bus with all their belongings, and headed to Sydney Airport, where their homeward bound plane was waiting for them. Finally, a over a year of excessive touring and promoting was concluded, and they could start to wind down and spend time with their families. Or worry about how the hell they were going to top the success they had with ‘Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge’.
Frank did not utter a single word to Gerard for the whole journey, even when Gerard asked if he had a good night’s sleep, or if he wanted some of his Diet Coke. He just sat quietly with his iPod plugged into his ears and occasionally spoke to Ray, Mikey, or Bob.
Even when they reached the airport, the tension between the two men hadn’t lifted. Gerard tried to get Frank to sit on the trolley, so he could wheel him along like they always did, but Frank shook his head and continued on talking to Bob. And while they were eating in McDonalds, Gerard pulled a chair out from under the table and offered it to Frank, but he just walked past and sat elsewhere, ignoring Gerard’s kind gesture.
Frank was pleased to eventually board the plane. It was nearing 10PM, which meant that most of the band would start to wind down and catch a few hours sleep, which meant Gerard would probably be too tired to strike up a conversation with him.
As Frank wandered down the isle between the small number of seats in the plane, Gerard suddenly got up from his seat in front of him, blocking the walkway.

“Hey Frank, I’ve saved the window seat for you.” He said and pointed to the chair next to his own. It was a known fact within the band that Frank was a bit of a window seat junkie. He loved looking out at the clouds and watching take-off and landing. But he wasn’t really in the mood to sit by the window right now.

“Thank you, but I’d rather sit by the isle.” Frank lied, trying to edge past the man blocking the way. “I’ve got a bit of a stomach bug thing, and I don’t wanna annoy you by having to get up to use the bathroom every two minutes.”

Gerard placed his hand on his shoulder. “Please.” He said. “We need to talk.”

Frank finally managed to snake his small body around Gerard’s and sat in the seat directly in front of his. “We’ll talk tomorrow. I’m tired now.”

If only the plane was bigger, Frank would’ve carried on walking, but there was barely enough seats for the band and their crew. For a moment, he had a dreading feeling that Gerard was going to change seats and sit next to him, but thankfully Ray took the unoccupied seat before he had the chance.
It was about an hour into the flight, when Frank felt a tap on his shoulder. He pulled his earphones out of his ears and turned to face Mikey.

“Hey, do you mind if we swapped seats for a bit? I wanna talk to Ray about something.” He asked.

Frank turned to the man snoring on his left, before turning back to Mikey looking confused. “He’s kinda dead to the world right now. Are you sure this is a good time?”

“Mm, positive.” Mikey nodded and pulled Frank out of his seat before he could protest.

Frank sighed, looking around for a spare seat. Being that the plane was so unbelievably small, there was only enough for the amount of passengers it was carrying without any unoccupied. Apart from the one Mikey had just come from, of course, which just so happened to be the seat next to an eager looking Gerard Way. It looked like he had no other option but to sit there.

‘It’s blatantly obvious that Gerard’s told Mikey to do this.’ Frank thought as Gerard got up to let Frank squeeze past. The rest of the band had noticed that things were tense between them, and Mikey had clearly said something.

He settled himself down into his seat and began gazing out into the black sky they were flying through. Gerard sat down and tried to kiss him on the cheek. Frank reeled away in shock.

“What are you doing?!” He hissed, glancing around to see if anyone saw. “If you’re going to do that, then this whole secret is going to come out!”

“Jeez, Frank!” Gerard whispered and edged away again, looking dazed. “I was only trying to cheer you up! What’s the matter with you?”

“More like what’s the matter with you! Are you insane? Do you want everyone to find out about us?!”

“They’re all asleep!” Gerard said quietly, glancing around at the rest of the passengers. “Anyway, what the hell is the matter with you today? I know we had a bit of a disagreement last night, but I thought we had sorted it all out?”

Frank turned away again, trying to think of a nice way of putting what he had to say. He loved Gerard, but why did he have to tell him what to do with his life, what to do with his girlfriend, and such? He didn’t feel like talking about this right now. All he wanted to do was go to sleep and wake up in New Jersey tomorrow. Then he would talk. But Gerard seemed intent on talking about this now.

“I mean, what did you expect from me?” Gerard continued. “You showed me the ring for crying out loud! How did you expect me to react?…I-It’s hard enough having to share you with someone else, so why did you have to tell me that you were planning on marrying her? I’m ready to spend the rest of my life with you, and you have to go and do something like that! You fucking tore my heart into two, Frank.”

Frank could feel tears stinging his eyes and threatening to fall down his face. He wished he could move back to the seat in front, but he knew he was well and truly trapped here until this had been sorted out. He felt like the biggest asshole in the universe.

“And then you won’t even tell her. How can you build a marriage on lies? If you really love someone, you’ve got to be completely honest with them!…That’s what made me so angry! If you don’t give a fuck about me, then just tell me, and this game can stop. But if you really love me, then do the right thing. Do it for my benefit, Jamia’s benefit and your benefit. Tell her Frank. I mean it. Because if you don‘t, then I will.”

His words felt like a bullet to the brain. He wanted to do the ‘right thing’, but it wasn’t as simple as Gerard made out. He had that painful feeling that everything was going to go horribly wrong. He didn’t want to lose either of them.
He must have been really crying because Gerard pulled a tissue from his pocket and began dabbing at his face and rocking him in his arms. He just didn’t know what to do. Why was love such a confusing and evil thing? It breaks more people’s hearts than completes them.