Everyone Learns Faster On Fire

Gerard spent the next couple of days on a permanent high and at times acted like a hyperactive child. He had bothered Mikey with his excited raves about his husband-to-be, and drove Ray and Bob insane over incredibly long phone calls informing them of the good news. He had also taken the opportunity to come out about his sexuality to his parents, who were fully supportive and extremely happy for him. It seemed like nothing could burst his happy bubble. He had been waiting so long for this moment. Almost two agonising years, but eventually his love for Frank was to be sealed with the exchange of vows and a loving kiss.
Their plans were simple. Gerard would stay with Frank in his apartment for a while until he had moved all his belongings over to Gerard’s place. There was no rush for him to get going, as he still owned the apartment in his name, not Jamia’s. Although, selling it would be a challenge. It desperately needed a makeover. The carpet was coming up from the floorboards in the bedroom, the paint was peeling on the living room walls, there was a leak under the kitchen sink… The list could go on forever. But Gerard kindly agreed to help Frank redecorate in his free time. Maybe doing a little DIY together would prove useful for the future, when they would fix up their dream cottage in the woods. Then when everything was settled and Frank had moved in, they would start to plan their ideal wedding together.

The phone rang at around 10AM that morning. Frank had only just gotten out of the shower and was watching a tacky talk show on the TV in the living room. He had left Gerard sleeping serenely in the bedroom, tiptoeing around as he didn‘t want to wake him. Frank was glad that he was awake to take the call when he realised who was on the other end of the line.

“I’ll be round at about two to pick up my things.” Jamia said without a hint of emotion in her voice, like a robot. “I’ve got plenty of boxes and things, so you don’t need to worry.”

“Okay.” Frank replied flatly. He struggled to think of what to say next. What could you say after hearing that, without grovelling or bursting into tears?

He didn’t need to think of a reply. Jamia muttered a swift “goodbye” and hung up the call. Frank was left listening to the shrill sound of the dialling tone after what was probably the shortest phone conversation of his lifetime.
That left them with a little under four hours to remove any trace showing that Gerard had been there in the last couple of days.

The biggest ‘fuck you’ to anyone who had just found out that their partner had been cheating on them, was finding out that the cheater’s new subject was sleeping in the same bad as they had slept in for all those years. Frank wasn’t cruel enough to let her turn up to find Gerard sitting on the couch. Although it would show her that he could survive without her, to him it was like kicking Bambi. He didn’t want to hurt her any more than he already had, because she hadn’t actually done anything wrong.
Gerard agreed it was necessary for him to make himself scarce until everything belonging to Jamia was gone and she had no reason to come back there. He left with the few items of clothing and possessions that he had bought over. He was gone by 1’o’clock, just to be sure that he wasn’t around if she decided to turn up early. Frank then remained scouring the house for the rest of the time, making sure that Gerard hadn’t left his dirty socks lying around, or any romantic messages he left pinned up in random places around the apartment.

At a quarter to two, the sound of the buzzer startled Frank from cleaning the bathtub. He dropped the sponge in the shallow water collected in the bottom and walked out into the hallway to let Jamia in. He wondered why she didn’t use her key. He hadn’t received it from her yet, so surely she should still have it? It didn’t matter, he pressed the button to let her in and waited, listening out for footsteps on the other side of the door.

Thirty seconds later, there was a few short taps on the wood. Frank, who was standing nearby, opened the door slowly, not wanting to let her in and feeling apprehensive about what the next few hours would bring.

His eyes started at her feet and gradually moved upwards, dreading the eventual eye contact. She was dressed scruffily, wearing an old pair of ripped jeans that used to belong to him years ago, worn-in converse, and a plain black tank top. Her hair was pulled back in a messy ponytail, strands of hair trailing out over her shoulders. He also noticed that she hadn’t made the effort of putting any makeup on at all, which was very unlike her. He remembered the way she made a huge fuss of having to put mascara on, even if she was only going down to the shop on the corner. For the first time in his life, Frank noticed how old she looked. It seemed she had prematurely aged in the space of the three short days they had been apart.

“Hi Frank.” She said in monotone. “Mind if I pass?”

Frank realised that he had been standing in her way, staring at her open-mouthed and gormless for what must have been around a minute. He cleared his throat and stepped to the side, watching her walk rapidly into the living room without looking back, transporting a cardboard box.
He followed and stopped dead in the doorway. He watched as she began taking her books from the bookcase and depositing them in the box, without saying a word. She done it almost mindlessly, like she wasn’t even thinking about what she was doing. She used one hand to place a book in the box and the other to grab the next one and kept that silent routine up for a couple of everlasting minutes.
Frank couldn’t bare the discomforted silence anymore and cleared his throat.

“Do you want me to get you a drink or something?” he asked from the opposite side of the room.

“No thank you.” Jamia replied in an overly polite tone, without removing herself from her task. He continued watching the box fill up with the stories they used to read together until she moved onto the cabinet where the DVDs and video cassettes were kept and repeated the same method.

Suddenly, he heard the front door, which was left ajar, creak open and heeled footsteps entering the apartment. Frank peered out of the living room doorway to see who it was.

“Jamia! I’ve bought more boxes up for you.” It was Jamia’s friend Cassie, the woman she was staying with for a while. She pushed past Frank, giving him a sour look as she went, and dumped the plastic containers and cardboard boxes onto the living room rug.

“Thanks.” Jamia smiled at her, putting the final DVD in her first box and taping it up. “Would you mind taking this down to the car for me? I think it would be easier that way, so we don’t end up having to take so many down at once when we’re done.”

“Sure.” Cassie said, picking up the box and walking past Frank again, this time not even acknowledging his presence, let alone giving him another dirty look.

Frank sat awkwardly on the edge of the sofa, without taking his eyes off of Jamia and her task of putting her CDs away. He couldn’t believe she was being like this. He would actually rather her be shouting and yelling at him than pretending he wasn’t even there. He decided to attempt conversation for the second time.

“So, how have things been?… Do you need anything?”

Jamia continued packing her things away, without looking up. “I’m fine. I can look after myself you know. I may have been your property for a good few years of my life, but I can survive by myself.”

Her words stung him. He wasn’t trying to prove that she wasn’t independent enough to look after herself. He still cared for her and wanted her to keep safe and healthy, that hadn’t changed at all. He was just taking a general interest in her welfare. He sat back and decided to keep his mouth shut for a bit to let her get on with it.

“Y’know, you don’t have to stay here and supervise me.” She said bitterly. “I know my way around. Just go and get on with whatever you were doing before I came.”

“I wasn’t doing much.”

“Still, can you go for a bit? You’re making me uneasy.”

Frank frowned, feeling his hands clench into fists but managed to suppress himself from raising his voice. “Maybe I want to watch. Maybe I want to watch you put all our memories of moments we shared into goddamn boxes. Cause I’m not going to ever see this stuff again.”

Jamia raised an eyebrow and went back to taping up another box. “Okay.”

Another few silent minutes passed before Jamia finally got up from the floor and tried to pick up the box that was fit to burst, full of her things. Frank, not wanting to see her struggle, got up and attempted to help her, but she batted him away, almost knocking him off his feet.

“Frank! I’m fine!” She cried in frustration. He could have sworn he saw tears begin to form in her eyes. “Why can’t you just leave me alone?! I’ve told you I can carry on by myself! Why don’t you ever listen?!”

Cassie had appeared out of nowhere. She helped Jamia put the box back down on the floor and then muttered something about ‘a private conversation’.

“Frank, excuse us for a minute.” Cassie said, taking Jamia’s hand and leading her out into the hallway. They left the door partly open behind them and Frank kneeled down on the floor with his ear pressed up against the crack, wanting to know what they had to say.

“Jamia, I can’t believe you!” He heard Cassie hiss. “The poor guy is trying to help you and you’re replaying him with bitterness and spite! I know he’s done wrong and he’s hurt you, but I know that deep down you still love him.”

He heard Jamia sniff. “But-”

“But nothing! Please, please don’t make this hard for the both of you. Just end things on a pleasant note. He’s shown that he cares about you, so just let him….Now get inside and help him take the box down to the car.”

Frank hastily jumped back into the position he was in before they left the room. The door opened and Jamia walked in, smiling tearfully at him. Even Cassie managed to look him in the eye without a hint of nastiness.

“Come on, Frankie.” Jamia said, walking over to the troublesome box. “You take one end and I’ll take the other. We’ll do this together.”