The Perfect Girl

The moment that Jake burst through my bedroom door, I thought I was going to have a heart attack.

It’s not that he scared me- which he did- but it’s the fact he was there, in my room, with warm eyes that made my heart swell up. He looked at me with his blue eyes in such a way that I swear hope ignited inside of me. Maybe he didn’t love me like I did him, but maybe he cared about me. I didn’t want to say so though. I figured the bombshell I placed on him the day before was enough.

“Hey,” He said. His voice was quiet and hoarse, and if I didn’t know him any better, I would’ve thought he was nervous to see me.

I blinked, “What are you doing here? You should be in class right now.”

My voice came out in monotone, not that I meant to. My nose was so stuffed, I could hardly breathe right and it was more than difficult to talk. His eyes flickered to mine quick before he looked away. He stepped forward into my room and closed my door until it closed with a click.

“Uh, Duke told me you were sick,” He informed me, his voice shaky and soft. I wanted to smile, but the muscles in my face couldn’t do it. They were too exhausted from the ridiculous face I’d had all night from crying.

I didn’t say anything until his words sunk in. He was in my room because he found out I was sick? What did that have to do with anything? I instantly voiced my thoughts, “So?”

I wanted to keep talking, but my sick body couldn’t push anymore. I could hardly breathe and talking was just too difficult. I stuck with just the one syllable and waited for him to answer, hoping he’d end the conversation so I didn’t have to force myself any longer.

I stared at the TV as I wondered why Jake even came. I’d told him about my feelings and he’d ignored me until now. I’d been up all night, hoping Jake would come through the doors and tell me he either loved me back or that he didn’t but he didn’t mind that I loved him. And when he never came, I was tempted to go to his room and tell him I was joking. I never did though, since I knew my lie wouldn’t pass considering I looked almost as disgusting as I felt.

He gulped and wet his lips before answering, “I was worried.”

I swear my heart wanted to jump from my chest right then. He’d been worried about me. He cared. I wanted to scream and jump in glee from my emotions. He was worried and he cared. That was enough for me. At least until I looked at him, straight into his eyes. His eyes portrayed guilt. Not worry, but guilt. He wasn’t worried at all. He felt bad. He pitied me for liking him. He probably asked Natalie out and ditched school to mess around with her and then just headed back here. Or maybe he was messing with me. Leading me on now that he knew I liked him. Anger flushed through my veins and I glared at the TV screen.

“Worried? About me? Funny, Rivers. Fucking hilarious.”

There was a long silence before Jake spoke up, “I really was worried.”

I rolled my eyes, “Right, because you actually have feelings?”

There was an even longer silence and I refrained from looking at him. I didn’t want to know how he felt at the moment. I didn’t want to have to deal with his emotions when mine had just been wrecked. The silence that filled the room only built up the anxiety in my chest. I didn’t know what I’d be hearing from him and I didn’t want to. I didn’t want to hear him tell me the things I was afraid to hear. In my eyes, the only way out was to go back to before anything had happened. Before I confessed, before the kiss, before Will and Natalie, before he gave me a ride home, and definitely before I fell for him.

“I’m sorry,” He whispered and my eyes immediately went to him.

He took a few steps forward, closer to me and stared at me. I stared back, unable to speak. So he spoke instead, “I’m sorry I treated you so badly. I’m sorry I hurt you. I’m just sorry…for everything. I’ve fucked up real bad, I know. But I wanted you to know that I do consider you a friend. A best friend even. And I really,” he looked me straight in the eyes, “don’t want to lose you.”

If anything in the world could be as taken aback as I was, I’d be shocked. Jake apologized. He thought of me as a friend or even a best friend. He didn’t want to lose me. The words seemed to echo in my ears forever. My chest was suddenly heavy and my heart swelled inside of me. A lump developed in my throat and I sat on my bed, covered in blankets and tissues as I stared at Jake. The warmth that spread over my cheeks was evident and I found myself blushing harder than I ever had before. The guy I’d been in love with for the last four to six years just told me he didn’t want to lose me and there I was dumbfounded and sick. Talk about embarrassing.

He chuckled nervously, “Uhm, was that too weird?”

Jake looked away from me and my blank face quickly turned into a grin as I looked at him. Even if he didn’t like me the way I liked him, he wanted me around. And that was enough for me. As long as he doesn’t leave, right?

I sighed contentedly, “Just a little. But I’ll get used to it.”

He looked back at me and a soft smile game to his face. “Get used to it? Please. Don’t expect a repeat of this.”

I laughed as he dramatically rolled his eyes at me. “Shut up, Rivers. You’re the one who was so worried because I was sick and came running home.”

He raised both of his eyebrows and replied sarcastically, “Me? Worried about you? Funny, Adams. Fucking hilarious.”

I scoffed as I heard him repeat what I’d said before. Scooting over on my bed, I brushed off a few tissues and patted the spot beside me. Jake looked at me in question and I rolled my eyes at him.

“Come on. If you’re going to continue bothering me, at least let me stop straining my neck. I’m sick, you know,” I taunted and he looked at me as he held back from rolling his eyes. It was annoying how much he rolled those blue orbs, but at the same time it was cute.

“And here I thought you were being nice,” He chuckled and just stared at the open space beside.

I waited for him to get on the bed, but he didn’t. It wasn’t like I had a small bed, I had a king sized mattress and there was plenty of space for the both of us. Hell, his bed was smaller than mine and he still managed to sleep with me in it. A bigger bed didn’t make much of a difference unless the fact I liked him bothered him.

As soon as the thought came to mind, I wanted to slap myself. Of course it bothered him. How could it not? He had Natalie and here I was inviting him to sit with me in bed just a day after I’d pretty much confessed my love for him. Scratch that, I did confess and I’d spent an entire night crying like a sissy about it. He must’ve been extremely uncomfortable about it all.

“Look, I’m not going to rape you or something,” I assured him sarcastically and when he only gave me a look, I continued, “Take the floor if you want. Or you can even go back to your room and call Nat-“

As soon as I’d even mentioned Natalie and returning to his own room, he was buried under the covers with me. To be honest, he startled me. But he definitely wasn’t unwelcome considering I had to convince him to sit with me. It was strange though, having Jake so close. His legs were touching mine and I could feel his jeans rubbing against my bare legs. His left arm was rubbing against my right and his entire side was pressed against mine even though there was plenty of space for him to be farther away.

I stared at him, “You know, there’s something known as personal space.”

He chuckled as he glanced down at me, “It’s warmer near you though.”

I rose my eyebrows up at him, “You’ll probably get sick.”

He nudged me with a laugh, “All the better. You won’t be alone during school and I won’t have to go.”

I scoffed in disbelief. Was he being serious? With that, he turned to the TV and either really watched the movie or pretended to. I stared at him for a full five minutes wondering what had gotten into him before he noticed I looked away with a blush. I don’t know what happened to Jake, but I liked it.

“Wait, so is the girl in love with him yet?”

I jumped and looked at him funny, “Huh?”

He gestured towards the movie and I watched a scene of The Notebook play before remembering that I’d put it in before Jake had arrived without warning. It was the part when she runs into Noah’s fence with her car. I watched the scene go through before I looked up at Jake to see him looking at me. I knew he was talking about the movie, but for some reason the question sank through and straight into my heart. It was as if he was asking me if I was in love with him yet.

The answer was obvious, “Yeah, she is. She always has been.”

---

“Hey, wake up. You need to take your medicine.”

I groaned awake and turned over, draping my arm over something warm. “Shut up. Let me sleep.”

The voice began to laugh and something shook me and I angrily opened my eyes to see Jake with an amused expression. He had a smug grin on his face and his eyes glinted with amusement. I wanted to slap his happy expression off his face for waking me up. And then my eyes landing on what my arm was draped over. It was his chest…his bare chest.

I snapped my hand back and flew back, across the bed. My eyes widened as I took in his topless state.

“Why exactly are you shirtless?” I questioned incredulously and he laughed.

“I never sleep with my shirt on. It feels weird,” He answered nonchalantly and I wanted to wrap my hands around his neck to strangle him to death. It was one thing to have your own little routine, but it was another to take your shirt off when the girl who likes you is in bed with you sleeping her ass off.

“You should, uh, put it back on,” I suggested and narrowed my eyes down into his hand. I quickly snatched the medicine from his palm and swallowed it dry before he handed me a bottle of water. I gladly accepted and swallowed down the pills as I avoided his gaze. He was laughing all the while I glanced around the room awkwardly. He never put his shirt on and if I dared to look at him, I think I’d spend an hour staring at his model worthy body. It should be illegal for guys to be toned like that.

Finally, his laughter slowed, “Did you know you snore?”

My eyes shot to him, wide. “What?!”

No one could even begin to describe how embarrassed I was to, not only fall asleep on him, but to snore as well. I nibbled on my lip as I looked at him, humiliated. He nodded at me with a small smile on his perfect lips.

“Yeah. But if it makes you feel better, it’s cute. You’re like a little puppy,” He laughed and my eyes widened further as I gaped at him.

If there wasn’t a blush on my face right then, then I don’t even know what a blush is. I was so embarrassed I wanted to dig my own grave. I wanted to hide under a rock and never come out. I wanted to be a turtle and just retreat into the safety of my shell. I snored and he compared me to a puppy. Could it get any worse?

“A puppy?” I repeated and he nodded. I groaned and hid myself under the covers. He laughed and pulled the covers back up.

“It’s cute. Nothing to be embarrassed about. It’s not like you snore loud. It’s quiet. I only heard it because I was right next to you,” He attempted to assure me, but I only wanted to creep under a rock further.

“That’s so embarrassing! I mean, even if it’s quiet can you imagine how terrible it’ll be when I’m married and stuff? Laying in bed and snoring into my husband’s ear or something. Not even to mention any future boyfriends. It’s like I finally do the deed and I’m snoring off into his ear. Now I know why Duke never lays beside me when he’s over. I mean, I snore and he’s a light sleeper! ” I rambled and his laughter cut short.

I glanced at him to see him looking at the wall as if he wanted to tear it apart. I blinked. Had I said something wrong? He swallowed and his gaze returned to me, but he was no longer angry. Only determination held his eyes.

“Anyone who can’t handle your snoring is retarded. It’s quiet and cute. Your future guy will understand,” He murmured curtly.

I couldn’t really get over the fact he’d called me cute three times. It definitely had my insides all up in a bunch. I glanced at him and he still had a look of dismal. I wanted to wipe it straight off his face. An unhappy look is definitely not good on him. He just didn’t have the mysterious, badass vibe to pull off the whole ‘I’m secretly in pain, my parents hate me, I’m actually totally soft and I need loving’ look. Actually, no one could pull that one off. Only imaginary guys in teenage novels.

“Well you know what, Rivers?” I challenged and he turned to me with grin.

“What, Kylie?”

“You drool.”

He blinked for a few seconds before he opened his mouth, “I do not.”

I nodded, “Yeah, you do. Like a waterfall.”

His eyes widened and I wanted to laugh at his shock. “No way. How can you stand it? Did I get it on you last time? Holy shit, that’s so embarrassing, Kylie.”

I laughed at his panic. Only he would begin to freak like that. Drooling wasn’t even close to how embarrassed I was to find out I snored. Secretly, I liked knowing the fact he knew I snored and he’d been by my side twice as I slept. It meant he didn’t mind, and that served as a soft flame to keep my hopes up.

“Did I get it on you today? Do you think it’s gross?” He babbled and I smiled.

“It’s not gross. I’m totally used to it by now. How did you not even know? Those girls you’ve been with had to have noticed,” I laughed and he looked at with his eyebrows furrowed.

“Is it as cute as a puppy?” He winked and I laughed as I rolled onto my back. I was close to him again. It felt nice.

“Yep. As cute as a bull dog,” I teased and he fake gasped before rolling onto me. I squealed in shock as he crushed me under his chest. I laughed as tried to push him off.

“Say my drooling is as cute as a bunny,” He demanded playfully and I continued laughing at him.

“What? Bunnies don’t even drool!” I laughed as I continued to push him off of me.

“Whatever, bunnies are adorable,” He defended himself. “Anyway. Say my drooling is as cute as a bunny!”

He rested his head onto my face and I laughed at his childish behavior. I slid my hands up his chest and onto his shoulders as I playfully shoved him away. He simply continued to make himself comfortable on me as his new bed.

“Say it!” He laughed into my ear and his warm breath tickled my neck. I squirmed as I laughed and continued to shove him off. “Say it,” He laughed again and his lips brushed my neck.

My breath hitched and my heart skipped a beat as his lips brushed over my neck again. This time, his laughter was gone. The room was silent as he laid on me with his lips pressed into the crook of my neck in soft, gentle kisses. He kissed from my collarbones up to my jaw line before his kisses followed down again to the crook of my neck. Nervously, I took the chance to push him off. And I did. But he hadn’t let go and I found myself sitting on him, with my legs to either side of him. I was straddling him as he lay in front of me.

I swallowed as I looked back down at him. His grip left my arms and slid down until his hands were on my legs. Breathing became even more difficult as stared at him.

Quickly, to lighten the mood, I grinned, “Your drooling is as cute as a bunny, Jake.”

His hands left my legs to my hands as I said this and he laughed. His gaze stuck to mine and the atmosphere in the room was getting hotter and tenser by the seconds despite our laughter. And then his smile disappeared.

“I love when you do that,” He murmured and squeezed my hands.

I was still straddling him and my hands were in his grip. Slowly, he pulled my hands up to his chest. My body followed and I found myself lying right on top of him. My heart rampaged inside my chest and the butterflies were turning into bats as I felt his breath on my lips.

“When I do what?” I whispered and he pecked my nose.

A soft smile spread across his lips again as he replied, “When you call me Jake.”

And with that, he closed the remaining space between us and we kissed for the second time.