The Perfect Girl

The ride home was…loud. Reasons?

1. The radio.

2. He was yelling.

3. I was yelling.

4. He kept honking the horn.

5. Other cars were honking their own horns.

6. His little sister, Kayla, was screaming cheers with her friend, Kristy, since they were both cheerleaders.

So let’s just say…It was beyond loud. And here I am, after five minutes, stuck in traffic with the guy I hate, his little sister and her little friend in the noisiest car ride of my life.

“Why don’t you just turn left?!” I screamed.

“I can't just drive through a block of cars, Adams!” He screamed back.

“Two, four, six, eight, don’t you wanna take that bait? Oh yeah, it’s bait! Go…Panthers!” And there goes Kristy and Kayla…

“Shut up!” Jake and I screamed at the same time before we turned and glared at each other as car horns went off the hook.

“Dammit! I’d never had agreed to this if this was part of the deal!” I screamed.

“Oh, well, I’m sorry that I generously offered you, the person I despise, a ride home!” He yelled.

“Hey, hey, oh yeah… Oh, oh, oh yeah...Ooh, Ooh, Ooh yeah! Get- Oh- Oh get it. Oh yeah, get that ball! Go- Go Panthers!” Kristy and Kayla screamed and I groaned.

“Shut up! Repeating a bunch of words and sounds does not make it a cheer! For everyone’s sake in this world shut up and put on some clothes!” I screamed, gesturing to their outfits. Shorts short enough to be underwear and shirts tight enough to be skin. Quickly, they nervously turned towards each other, whispering in hushed voices.

“You,” Jake began, “Are my hero.”

“Alert the media. Jake Rivers has complimented Kylie Adams!” I muttered and he chuckled. "Must want a peace treaty, eh?"

“Just until we find that perfect girl,” He said and I rolled my eyes.

“Wow, a peace treaty for all eternity, that’s a new one,” I muttered as the car moved a few inches.

The noise began to pull my nerve strings and soon I flicked the radio off and screamed for Jake to stop honking his horn. Soon, we were in a silent car placed in between noisy cars on a noisy road. What a day.

As we waited in the traffic line, Jake tapped his fingers on the steering wheel, making a low and constant thud. I stared at his hand for a moment, almost as if staring at it will make it stop. Instead, his fingers kept on tapping.

I sighed, "Could you please stop that?"

Jake grinned smug, "I don't know what you're talking about."

He continued tapping his fingers, making each thud louder. I rolled my eyes as I leaned on the window and attempted to ignore him. But then his feet joined in on the tapping and I whipped around angrily.

"Rivers, stop!" I yelled and he laughed at my quick anger. "I'm serious! That tapping is really annoying!"

He smirked, "Chill!"

I groaned exasperated and stared out the window again, determined to tune his tapping out. Looking out, I caught sight of myself in the side mirror. My pony tail was falling apart, hairs messily sprayed all over my face. There was a row of frustrated wrinkles in between my eyebrows and a deep frown on my mouth. My shoulders were hunched and I looked so plain. So weak. I was nothing Jake would want. Maybe this perfect girl thing was a good thing; a blessing in disguise.

Sooner or later we neared the neighborhood where I jumped out of the car from both annoyance and frustration. After a few turns on foot, I made my way into the house to hear my sister’s squeal along with several other squeals and one, very, very familiar chuckle that belonged to the one and only. Jake Rivers. Is he following me?

I entered the living room to see Farrah and her little friends bunched up around Jake, as if he were some kind of celebrity. And from the look on his face, I'd say he enjoyed the attention thoroughly. I watched angrily as Jake looked up and gave me his infamous smirk which caused the middle school girls to go crazy. From what I know, they were part of Farrah's group of friends, in other words, the boy crazy girls who hung around boys like bees.

“What,” I began. “Are you doing here?”

“Hey, you said. A ride for a chick,” He said and I groaned as I made my way up the stairs. I heard Jake follow me and was soon confirmed to this fact when I heard whispers and giggles.

Dropping my bag by my desk, I yawned, “Fine, describe that perfect person of yours."

“Well…sh-“He began, before I cut him off.

“No, better yet, write it down on a piece of paper, so we don’t forget anything,” I said and he nodded as I handed him a piece of paper and a pen.

After he began scribbling, I grabbed my bag and pulled out my pile of homework. I glanced at Jake's own back pack. Should I do his homework for him? Or would that be too much? I contemplated on whether or for at least two minutes before sighing.

“Give me your school crap."

“What?” He asked, snapping up and looking at me.

“You do your perfect girl shit. I’ll do the homework, that way, we won’t get into anymore trouble with Shep,” I explained and he nodded.

“Uh…sure,” He said and threw me his back pack. I caught it before I pulled out some paper and found his homework.

Realizing he had marks and random letters and lines on his paper, I searched for my pink eraser before finally making contact between the rubber and the paper.

“No! Don’t erase anything, just…fill the answers in, I’ll help you after I finish writing this,” He said, gesturing to the perfect girl paper. I rolled my eyes and threw the eraser to the side, filling answers out on our papers. After about ten minutes, I heard a pen hit the table. “Done.”

“This better be good. You took ten minutes writing about the girl of your dreams,” I chuckled grabbing the piece of paper from his hand.

The Perfect Girl

1. Approved by the rents and Jay

2. No sluts or whores

(Adams, if you get me a slut I’ll strangle you at night)

3. She’s not a cheerleader

(Remember my sis and Kristy. Get me a cheerleader and you’ll hear that every night)

4. She isn’t obsessed with shopping

(Get me a shopaholic and you’ll be dragged with me carrying the bags)

5. She doesn’t talk too much

6. She’s not clingy

7. She doesn’t need me to do everything for her

8. She’s not scary thin

(Anorexics and Bulimics are too complicated, meaning half of the girl population at school)

9. She’s not a ditz

10. She’s no bitch

11. She’s not a guy, hence the she

12. She’s not too…pink, or girlie

13. Doesn't talk about how gorgeous she is all the time. No conceited bitches.

14. She'd care and actually understand the term, "I'm dying."

(If I die because my girlfriend doesn't know what dying means, you'll come with me to Hell.)

15. She likes me

I stared at the paper bewildered, she could be just about anybody. I felt myself both groan and cheer. I'd have to spend time with Jake and I'd get to spend time with Jake.

“She...This girl...Your dream girl...Could be just about anyone," I mumbled and I watched him shrug.

"That's where you come in. I’m not sure who she is yet,” He said, and I rolled my eyes.

“Uh-huh. Get me the yearbook. It’s in my closet, on top of the very first box from the left,” I said as I finished the homework, and he passed me the book. “Sit. We have some looking to do.”

He sat by me and I stiffened before scooting an inch or two away. Soon, I flipped the book open.

"Uhm...Riley Toler's pretty," I suggested. He looked, analyzing even. "She's nice and smart too. She's the whole package."

He observed before shaking his head.

"Not her. Pretty, smart, and nice sure, but could you really see me going out with her and not making fun of her for those boobs. They're like watermelons!"

I busted out laughing before catching myself from laughing like a total maniac.

"I thought guys liked big boobs," I murmured and he shrugged.

"It's to an extent. Too big is gross, too small -like you- is no sex appeal," He chuckled and nudged my side when he'd referred to me as too small of a chest with no sex appeal. How flattering. He's a charmer alright.

I flipped the page, looking for another pretty girl who I could withstand. Soon, I found Paige Martin.

"Her. Paige! She's pretty, nice, like a total genius, and she's not too busty and she's not like me either!" I exclaimed. "She's the one!"

He didn't even bother looking at her picture. Instead, he looked at me in such a way that made me stop smiling and freeze. I looked back a bit before realizing why he was giving me such a look.

"...You slept with her already didn't you?"

He stiffly moved his head up and down, nodding.

"Well there goes another decent girl," I sighed and continued looking for another girl.

We went page by page, I suggested every single girl, but there was always something wrong. Too fat, too skinny, too ugly, too big of an ass or he'd already slept, dated, or insulted the girl for fun. I even went as far as to suggesting teachers! It was almost like he'd be forever alone. Which I'd honestly rather him be than with someone else.

“My eyes are tired,” I groaned, slumping down and frowning.

“And mine aren’t? We just went through hundreds of chicks who don’t fit at all,” He muttered. "I couldn't even understand you when you suggested Ms. Wilson. She's 76 and a lesbian!"

“Okay, let’s just start with something else. Your parents. They coming home any time soon? We have to find out what type of girl they like,” I mumbled and he yawned. "What type of girl they approve of."

“Tomorrow,” He muttered, and I groaned.

“And Jay? Do I have to spy on him or something?” I yawned, stretching my arms up.

“Actually…yeah, you do. Oh, and I’m crashing here tonight,” He said.

“No, we’re not crashing. We’re spying. I'm not wasting a minute I could use to get this over with. Let’s go. I’ll get the binoculars and cams,” I mumbled as I shoved him off my bed and headed towards my closet pulling stuff out.

“Why do you have that stuff?” He muttered while he helped me carry the tons of boxes. I was almost surprised he hadn't added a 'Are you stalking me?'

“You forgot? We used to go hiking with my dad,” I mumbled. Under my breath I added a quick, "Of course you don't. We don't mean shit to you."

He glanced up from the box by his feet, "Did you say something?"

I shook my head, picked up the box, turned and called, “Come on, we’ll go to Danny’s balcony."

“He’s where again?”

“Danny is in Princeton,” I mumbled setting the stuff down.

“Cool. He's been gone awhile." I didn't answer and he helped me set stuff up before we looked around and watched, well, more of me watching, because Jay didn’t have his shirt on and it made Jake uncomfortable, but I don’t see why. That six pack was…damn. I’m kidding; it made me uncomfortable too, so we just sat back, watched whatever was on the TV and argued randomly.

“Nuh-uh, Oreos are way better than Goldfish,” I argued, holding one of the chocolate cookies to his face before stuffing it in my mouth and reaching for another.

“Do Oreos have that cheesy goodness?” He said and threw a Goldfish into the air and catching it with his mouth.

“Do Goldfish have the chocolaty yummy-ness?” I giggled sticking another Oreo into my mouth.

“It’s a tie, deal?” He asked, and I narrowed my eyes before I sighed.

“Deal, but I still think Mila Kunis is hotter than Megan Fox,” I insisted.

“What? Megan is definitely hotter than Kunis!” He denied and flicked my forehead.

“No…you’ve got it all mixed up. Kunis is way hotter,” I said and turned onto my side to look at him. “No…hold on. Mila Kunis is hotter than everyone…”

“What? I’m way hotter than her,” He said and turned to look at me.

“Psh…I’d rather go out with Mila Kunis than you,” I assured him.

“You have bad taste,” He said, turning back onto his back. "And you have potential in being a lesbian."

“What a lie. I have better taste than you. How many chicks have you dated?" I asked and he shrugged. "And how many times have you dated a slut? Oh, I wouldn't know. I lost count after thirty. And exactly how many times have you dated a decent girl? Oh I don’t know…never,” I explained to him.

“I have dated a girl that’s not a slut,” He said.

“Name one,” I challenged.

“Um…Jamie,” He said.

“Grancio?" I raised an eyebrow and he looked at me for a second with a funny look on his face.

"I don't know her last name. What? Am I looking for marriage?" He muttered and I sighed.

"Italian? Dark hair?" He looked in thought for a bit before nodding. I laughed. "Rivers, she lost her virginity when she was thirteen,” I scoffed. "And! She almost got pregnant with Coach Burrow's kid last year!"

“Oh…That was her?”He said and I laughed.

"Yeah that was her!" I replied in between laughs before it cut short. I gulped. "Oh my God!

“What?”

“We haven’t killed each other in hours,” I said shocked.

“Eh…I don’t know, yelling at each other kind of counts,” He mumbled, and I glared at him.

“Way to ruin the moment," I muttered.

“Suck it up," he teased and shoved me off the bed.

Angrily, I grabbed his arm, pulling him downwards. As we both plummeted towards the floor, he tried to get on top before the first punch could be thrown.

There goes our record. Right when that happens, right when he flips me over so he’s on top and hasn’t thrown a punch yet, the door bursts open and in comes my sister, who says she’s in love with Jake. And um…can you say awkward?

“Ky- What are you doing?! Get away from him! He’s mine!” She screamed, bursting my ear drums.

She grabbed my arm and yanked me from underneath Jake and lifted me to my feet harshly. She then went to help Jake up, as if he were a fragile doll. All he did was hurt his nose and that wasn't even from the match that just happened.

“God, Farrah. You and I both know I have no interest in him. And he’s looking for Miss ‘The One’,” I said using finger quotations around 'the one'. “Sorry to break it to you sister, but you’re not her.”

“What makes you think I’m not her?” She asked me, playing with her hair and eying Jake. I nearly gagged but instead laughter took over as I glanced at Jake, he, who was turning green.

“You’re a cheerleader. He doesn’t want anyone from the cheer squad,” I mumbled instead of listing all the other things she wouldn’t fit.

“I could quit,” She said, complicating the fact I was trying to be nice.

“You’re…”I began.

“Not my…type,” He finished and I sighed relieved I didn’t have to say she was a whore, bitch, ditz, overconfident and all that stuff. She'd go tell on me and I'd be scrubbing the floor clean with my tongue.

“Well…fine,” She said storming off.

“Hey, wait! What did you need?” I called.

“Mom and I are going to watch some movies, so mom told me I had to warn you so you could get your iPod and tune us out before you get all weird,” She said, and I had another relieved sigh.

“Thanks…Farrah,” I smiled and she rolled her eyes.

“Whatever, Kylie,” She said and shut the door leaving.

“What’s wrong with them watching movies?” Jake asked me seconds later.

“Sappy, chick flicks is what,” I said grabbing the remote for Danny’s TV before I put in a random disk I found laying around. "They cry and whine and it's real annoying."

“What’s that?” Jake asked, referring to the movie.

“I don’t know, I want to know, so I’m going to check it out,” I said pressing play and slowly it began.

And then I saw it. A creek. A peaceful creek. The Notebook. And then. I heard it. A scream. A scream flared through the air, snapping me out from my mesmerized moment.

“What was that?” I asked.

“Go check it out,” He said.

“No, I want to watch it!” I whined.

"You said you didn't like sappy chick flicks, I think this is one of them."

"But I like this one!"

“Fine, we’ll both go,” he said and grabbing my hand pulling me from the room to find my mom and sister on top of the couch screaming.

“Why are you on the table?” I asked cautiously.

“S-s-spider!” They screamed and I let out an ear piercing scream as I leaped for safety. Jake just happened to be the closest thing so I ended up on his back, holding on for dear life.

“Where?!” I shrieked from my place, holding on tighter to Jake. I dug my nonexistent nails into his shoulders, trying to stay on since he wasn't holding onto my legs. After he couldn't stand the pain, he grabbed hold of my legs to my relief.

I heard Jake grunt annoyed as he started to look around, making me move. Instead of looking for the fierce, black, hairy creature that could possibly kill me and eat my insides, I squeezed my eyes shut and hid into his shoulder.

And suddenly I heard a loud stomp and my body jutted backwards and turned to see Jake twisting his leg, as if he were squishing something, and then he moved his foot, revealing a dead spider.

Two seconds past and no one did anything and I was pretty sure the spider was dead.

“Well...bye,” I said and jumped off his back and headed back to the room to watch the movie.

I sat down and soon so did Jake. We watched the movie and sure enough I was tearing up near the end where Noah and Allie are fighting about who she chooses. And slowly, the movie goes on, and then…they’re dead and I’m sobbing into a pillow.

“Are you…okay?” He asked and poked my arm.

“I’m fine!” I sobbed and threw a pillow at him.

“Hey, throwing pillows is not going to bring them back to life in the movie,” he said catching the pillow and putting it down behind him so I couldn't reach.

“Shut up, Rivers,” I said and pushed him lightly. “Yeah, so…when am I meeting your parents?”

“Tomorrow. I already told you,” He said and I groaned.

We sat in silence since I didn't know how to respond and I just sat there, staring aimlessly out the window.

“Hey, what’s Jay doing?” I blurted as I stared at the window where Jay was doing…something.

“What?" He came closer to see and after two or so seconds, he began laughing.

“What's he doing?” I urged and shoved him just a little bit. I was dying for an answer and well, his laughing wasn't helping me get one.

“D-dancing,” He said clutching his stomach and then…I busted out laughing, hardly breathing.

Jay dancing looked like he was a duck trying to run, not waddle. Yup, the shaking butt, while trying to move slightly bent over. All of it, and must I say. It was the funniest thing I’ve ever seen.

We laughed for a while longer before it wore off and soon it was just ridiculous.

“I’m tired,” I mumbled as I laid down into Danny’s bed yawning. Slowly my eyes shut, and I fell asleep as slumber took over me.

“I…I have to go…”

“Wake up, bitch. Get back to reality. We aren’t in some movie or book. Wake up!”

“What? Huh?”

And then I noticed that it was Jake’s voice. Not Noah Calhoun’s and so I opened my eyes and looked at Jake’s face in disappointment.

“Yes?” I yawned sitting up and stretching my arms above my head.

“I have to go pick up my parents. Change, shower, whatever. You’re coming with me!” He said and pulled me roughly to the bathroom.

"This is manhandling," I murmured effortlessly as he pushed me into the bathroom where I locked the door after he shut it.

“Wear a dress!” He yelled through the door before I heard footsteps fade.

The only thing that I had taken in was dress.

A dress?