The Perfect Girl

“How could you be so fucking stupid, Kylie?!”

I let out a breath as I stuffed my face into a pillow. “I don’t know,” I grumbled, my voice muffled from the pillow. I looked up, settling my chin on the pillow instead.

“He tells you he loves you, and you- you-“Jase cut off, throwing me a dirty look.

“I know, I ran,” I mumbled, shutting my eyes as I forced the embarrassment away.

In the car, just as Jake told me he loved me, I ran. I don’t know what came over me, or what I was thinking. I just ran and ran and ran. It was either from fear or anxiety or panic or shock. I’m not sure which, but by the time I regained my senses, I wanted to jump off a cliff. What kind of girl runs when the guy she’s doting on tells her he loves her? Me. I did. And I was so embarrassed I wanted to crawl under a stupid rock and disappear.

“Seriously, Kylie. What the fuck were you thinking?” Duke scolded, throwing a pillow into my face.

“I honestly just don’t know,” I sighed, rolling onto my back with the pillow clutched to my stomach. “And now I’m afraid of going home and facing him. He’s going to laugh at me!”

After I took off, I went to Jase’s house knowing that it was the only place Jake didn’t know how to get to. When Jase came home, he demanded Duke come over. Soon enough, I told them what happened and they’d been scolding me for the last thousand hours. It was nearly midnight and I was still huddled in Jase’s bed while Jase paced his room and Duke sat in a bean bag throwing a sand ball in the air and catching it.

“Just talk to him,” Duke sighed, launching the ball up into the air.

“He’s going to laugh and tell me it was all a joke,” I pouted, covering my face with my hands.

“No, he’s not,” Jase argued as he stopped pacing and turned to stare me down.

“Yes, he is! It was definitely just some cruel joke. Jake would never like me. Never. Not even if his life depended on it. I just- I can’t deal with rejection again, okay?” I persisted just as Duke launched the ball at me instead of the air. The ball hit me right on the cheek and I grumbled profanity his way.

“Go home and face it. If he laughs, I’ll hit him. If he doesn’t, then you get to go around and say Jake Rivers loves you,” Duke scowled, pointing to the door.

“You guys aren’t letting me stay, are you?” I questioned, my tone flat.

Jase raised an eyebrow, “Hell no, baby. You got to go!”

“It’s man’s night,” Duke chuckled and Jase laughed, flexing his muscles.

“Yeah it is!” Jase cheered and I giggled before crawling out of his bed. “Check out these guns!”

Duke laughed and flexed his own arms which bulged in comparison to Jase’s scrawny ones. They laughed and as I sat on Jase’s bed and looked at the two, I wondered what I’d missed in the last few weeks apart from them. Between community service and the whole perfect girl shenanigans, I had no time to talk to my boys and even now, when I did have time, they were having their own time. Was it possible that I was losing my friends?

“You guys wouldn’t ever ditch me, would you?” I whispered.

Duke and Jase cut off, their laughter faltering as they gave me wary looks. I looked back at them, waiting for an answer just as Jase burst out into laughter.

“That-That’s funny, Kylie! Ditch you? Ha! Good one!” Jase cackled, holding his stomach as Duke shot me a reassuring smile.

No, I’d never lose them. And with that, I stood up and nodded. Even if I lost Jake, Duke and Jase would be there to mend me and put me back together. And that was enough for me.

It was time to face Jake Rivers.

Fuck.

---

I told Duke goodbye as I climbed out of his car. Shutting the car door, I turned to face my house. It was about one in the morning and I didn’t even want to set foot on the driveway. Taking a deep breath, I stepped onto the dark cement that led to my house. Looking up, my eyes widened at the sight of Jake sitting in the tail of Danny’s old truck.

“Hey Ja-“

“Where the hell have you been?!” He snapped, jumping out of the tail and heading towards me.

I kept silent as he got closer. I stared at the ground, knowing it was inevitable. Obviously coming home at one in the morning was an awful idea.

“Do you know what time it is? How could you come home so fucking late?” Jake scolded. He groaned, lifting a hand up to run through his hair as he paced forwards and backwards. “Do you know how worried I was? You jump out of my car, take off and don’t come home until one? Are you crazy?”

I blinked, biting my lip as he yelled.

“It-It’s like you were made to drive me crazy! Everything you fucking do does something to me! You yell; I get annoyed. You laugh; I’m instantly in a good mood. You ignore me; I feel like shit. You run off for hours; I go insane!” Jake exclaimed, both hands in his head as if he were about to rip out every strand of hair.

“I didn’t think you’d be so worried,” I murmured.

“Not worried? Are you kidding me? Of course I’m going to be worried when my girlfriend’s running around town until one in the morning!”

I froze, “Wait- What? Girlfriend? I’m not your girlfriend!”

Jake stiffened, turning his head to look at me, “What? You-You’re-What?”

I shook my head, “I’m not your girlfriend, Jake. Just because you told me you liked me doesn’t make me your girlfriend. I mean, I told you I liked you before and you weren’t my boyfriend.”

His shoulders sagged, as he looked at me helplessly, “But- you like me. And I... And what?”

I bristled before turning and walking past him, “You haven’t asked me. I’m not going to just instantly be your girlfriend just because we happen to like each other, Rivers.”

Jake turned, grabbing my arm as I passed, “Be my girlfriend.”

I silently sucked in a breath, forcing my blush away as I pulled back my arm. God, it took all I had. I’d waited so long for those three words. So long just for us to be civil, and now that it was here, I couldn’t even be sure he was sincere. He made me wait five years. I’m sure he could survive waiting a week or two. Just to make sure I wasn’t just some phase, some accidental mistake. “Not yet, Rivers.”

I heard Jake scoff as I went inside. Looking back, I contained my smugness at the sight of Jake’s bewildered expression. I refused to be a phase or just a one day crush. No, I’d make him woo me. Just like the movies. I wasn’t going to just be a fling. Nope.

Kylie Adams was not just another bitch on his whore list.

---

“Jase, you don’t understand. I don’t even think he likes me,” I grumbled, burying my head into my arms.

Jase sighed, rubbing my back as we sat in Chemistry. All gossip about Jake, Will, Natalie and me had vanished since last week when I’d gone through school half naked. For a good couple of days, we were the talk of the school, but the lack of news has caused our –or rather my- popularity to deflate. Jake was obviously still at the top of the food chain being the hot guy, Will was still up there due to his good lucks, money and charming lies, and of course, Natalie was still a part of the Plastics –only now she was their leader, being Miss Queen Bee. I’d gone from average high schooler to bottom feeder to badass to bottom feeder to now, average yet again.

“He does, sweetie. Don’t be sad,” Jase cooed smoothing my hair out as I drowned in my misery.

“Bullshit. He hasn’t even spared me a glance since I told him I wouldn’t be his girlfriend last week. Hell, I think he’s taking Natalie to the Winter Festival. I should’ve just said yes. He could’ve used me all he wanted –at least then I wouldn’t be here wondering what it would’ve been like,” I sighed, turning my head to look at Jase.

I stared at him, his dirty blonde hair was no longer a cute shaggy flip, instead he’d cut it short, giving him a manlier, stronger look. His normally bright blue eyes had dimmed into a darker, more serious shade and his seemingly constant five o’ clock shadow was shocking. My Jase had changed into practically a new person and I’d been to enveloped in boy problems to notice.

“Don’t say that. He’ll come around. I can tell he still likes you, babe,” Jase winked.

“I really like your new haircut. I’m gonna miss your cute hair cut before, but Jase, you look freaking hot now. It looks good,” I smiled and he chuckled.

“What’s gotten into you? I’ve always been hot,” He teased, throwing his arm around my shoulders. I laughed, pushing him away. “But about the Jake thing, if he’s going to move on, you should too.”

I hesitantly smiled and nodded, “Yeah. Who needs him? All he does is make me miserable.”

“You go girl,” Jase smirked as the bell rang. “It’s my free period, and Duke wants to meet up. I’ll see you later!”

I waved as Jase hurried out of the room, dismissing the fact he and Duke had been spending more time together than usual. That's a lie. I had noticed all too well. I may have been absorbed by my own problems, but a week without Jake had given me time to spend time with my two favorite people. And those two people were more than attached by the hip. They had nights together where I wasn't allowed to stay; they called it 'Man's Night'. They spent every second they could together claiming to just be hanging out. And when I was around, they had secretive looks. The kind where they're hiding something and they think you don't know. Too bad I do know. I know they're up to something.

And if Jase actually believed he could hide anything from me, he was wrong. As his best friend, I was obligated to know every look he gave. And the look plastered on his face around Duke was of pure admiration. My dear, dear, gay best friend had an extremely large crush on my other best friend who was straight. Or maybe he wasn't. Duke wasn't so easy to read. Even as his best friend, I was incapable of deciphering his poker face. If there was any such thing as the perfect poker face, Duke had it.

But that was something I'd have to continuing observing later. For now, I had my own problems. As selfish as it sounded, it wasn't. I was choosing not to interfere with something good going on in my best friends' lives, instead letting them be until they were ready to tell me whatever it was. In the mean time, I'd move on. If Jake didn’t want me anymore, then fine. I didn’t need him. I could and would move onto newer and better things. I smiled to myself, gathering my books before rushing out of the classroom. At my locker, I switched my chemistry book for my history book.

“Hey Kylie.”

I glanced up to see Scott Daniels, shooting me his cute, shy smile. Scott Daniels was pretty much the boy next door that every girl in school deemed worthy of a good stare except for the fact he was so awfully shy in front of people he didn’t know well that he only had a select few of friends. Not to mention, he had no idea just how cute he was. He had milk chocolate brown hair that was a natural cute kind of just-got-out-of-bed messy along with huge green eyes that had you drowning in them. All of his six foot plus goodness was enough for any girl to swoon. I was proudly one of those girls who got weak kneed and giddy in his presence. And I say proudly because barely anybody go to be in his presence at all. It was very likely I was the only girl he seemed to talk to. So being a ball of joy around him was rare, but a definite result. Today, however, instead of weak kneed and giddy, I was unusually calm and uncomfortable as well as ridiculously clumsy.

“Oh-! Uhm, h-hey Scott!” I smiled, closing my locker quickly and accidentally slamming it on my finger. “Shit!”

I pulled my hand back, blowing cold air onto my throbbing finger. Scott chuckled, his voice as soft and crisp as silk, “Are you alright?”

A tiny voice in the back of my head began to whisper, Jake wouldn’t ever ask that. He would’ve teased you and you would’ve forgotten all about your damn finger.

I wanted to slap myself. Comparing Scott to Jake was pathetic. Scott actually liked me. “Yeah. I’m fine.” Liar. Liar. Liar. The more I thought about my stupid finger, the more it seemed to throb.

“That’s good. So I wanted to know if you were going to go to the Winter Festival,” Scott smiled, his dimples showing. His absolutely adorable dimples.

Jake wouldn’t have asked you that way. He would’ve just stated it and you wouldn’t have had a choice. Not that you’d say no if he ever did ask you. The voice taunted.

Fuck. I deserved a neck. Scott was here, making an effort. He was better than Jake. So much better.

“Oh- uh, yeah. I think. I’m not sure,” I murmured and gestured for us to begin moving.

Scott followed my lead, “Oh, well, why not?”

Jake would not have acted that way. He would’ve rolled his damn blue eyes and told you off for having no life or something. The voice was angry know, irritated almost. It was furious that Scott was in front of me, and not Jake.

Which was ridiculous. Scott was nice and kind of awfully cute. He was better than Jake in looks and personality. He was better.

“I don’t want to be a third wheel or anything, and it’s sort of a date-necessary kind of thing,” I sighed, reminding him how it was more than anything, a romantic event.

Scott grinned, “We should go together.”

Jake would’ve said something more like “That’s bullshit, Adams. But if you’re so afraid of being alone, we’ll go together.” It pointed out, urging me to say no.

I should decapitate myself. Jake was rude and pushy and oh so selfish. He never asked for my two cents about anything. Scott did. And he was so much better. Better. Better. Better. Better.

“Yeah, sure,” I smiled, forcing the voice to a dull muffle, and entered history after giving Scott a hug.

Jake’s hugs are warmer. Jake makes you blush just by looking at you. Jake makes you smile even when he’s irritating. Jake makes you feel safe. Jake makes you feel something. Jake knows you. Jake is the one you want.

But Jake doesn’t want me.

And that changes everything.