Status: Up and Running
Just Another Life Story
7/2/2010
Mood: Thoughtful
Song: Wish You Were Here by Hey Monday
So it's been a while hasn't it? yeah, it's been a real long time. So much has happened since my last update, I have no idea where to begin...
Me and James are friends again... On weak terms... Because of another guy going right ahead and breaking me and giving me my fear of guys again. You probably want to know the story behind that right? Yeah...
His name is Tyler, and I thought he was just about the sweetest person I ever had met, he was into the same music, he had many interests, he was smart, he was against drugs and alcohol, and he just seemed like an all around sweet guy... And I hung out with him for a day. we did some messing around(everything above the belt, so to speak) and I had asked him if we were together, cause that's how it seemed, and he said of course. I was simply ecstatic, but a few days later... I found out he didn't actually care... He was with another girl... And they're now happy together and yet again I'm left to pick up the pieces of my heart alone... Well that's what I thought O.O
Then this boy, this boy who isn't a douche( i hope), this boy, who is understanding to my situation, who isn't running from my problems, this boy who is helping clean up the mess that others just left behind. This boy's name is Devann, he is sweet, and just wants to make me happy. He is stable(Emotionally), strong, and helpful. I'm myself when I'm around him, I'm calm, I can remove my mask of 'perfection', I can be imperfect. I love it. But fear is all around me. I've been broken down to the point that, I can get up, but I'm scared to. Devann says he'll stay, and that he won't leave me for someone else... But I'm scared that although that's the truth now, in a week or a month, that will change.
There is a bad thing about him though... on July 22nd, he's leaving for military school for 6 months... I don't want him to go.... I just get a stable constant in my life, and it's leaving, I'll always have him near though. One way or another. I don't want to let him go. I need him right now. But there's a saying. "If you love something, let it go. If it comes back it was meant to be." and right now, I feel that's the saying to live by.
It's just another night in Hollywood, where dreams come true
Song: Wish You Were Here by Hey Monday
So it's been a while hasn't it? yeah, it's been a real long time. So much has happened since my last update, I have no idea where to begin...
Me and James are friends again... On weak terms... Because of another guy going right ahead and breaking me and giving me my fear of guys again. You probably want to know the story behind that right? Yeah...
His name is Tyler, and I thought he was just about the sweetest person I ever had met, he was into the same music, he had many interests, he was smart, he was against drugs and alcohol, and he just seemed like an all around sweet guy... And I hung out with him for a day. we did some messing around(everything above the belt, so to speak) and I had asked him if we were together, cause that's how it seemed, and he said of course. I was simply ecstatic, but a few days later... I found out he didn't actually care... He was with another girl... And they're now happy together and yet again I'm left to pick up the pieces of my heart alone... Well that's what I thought O.O
Then this boy, this boy who isn't a douche( i hope), this boy, who is understanding to my situation, who isn't running from my problems, this boy who is helping clean up the mess that others just left behind. This boy's name is Devann, he is sweet, and just wants to make me happy. He is stable(Emotionally), strong, and helpful. I'm myself when I'm around him, I'm calm, I can remove my mask of 'perfection', I can be imperfect. I love it. But fear is all around me. I've been broken down to the point that, I can get up, but I'm scared to. Devann says he'll stay, and that he won't leave me for someone else... But I'm scared that although that's the truth now, in a week or a month, that will change.
There is a bad thing about him though... on July 22nd, he's leaving for military school for 6 months... I don't want him to go.... I just get a stable constant in my life, and it's leaving, I'll always have him near though. One way or another. I don't want to let him go. I need him right now. But there's a saying. "If you love something, let it go. If it comes back it was meant to be." and right now, I feel that's the saying to live by.
It's just another night in Hollywood, where dreams come true