When You Read Between the Lines

A few days before Thanksgiving, Faith got a call from Denise after dinner. Her mother brought her the phone then went back downstairs to the living room with her father. Faith paused the music she was listening to and held the phone up to her ear.

“Hi, Mom,” she said, rising from her desk chair, leaving behind the lesson plans to go sit on her bed.

“Hi, sweetheart. How are you?”

“I’m alright. Yourself?”

“Just fine. I was just calling to invite you and your parents over here for Thanksgiving dinner,” Denise said and Faith felt a pang in her chest. She knew that this would be coming around eventually but she still wasn’t ready for the first big celebration of the holidays not being with Nick.

“Oh, of course. What time should we be there?”

“Two o’clock because I know your father will want to watch the game with the boys. Is that alright?”

“That’s fine. I guess I’ll see you then.”

“Wait, Faith.”

“Yes?”

“I was thinking it would be nice if you would see if your sister would like to fly out to join us. She shouldn’t be alone for Thanksgiving,” Denise said and Faith closed her eyes knowing what Lizzy’s answer would be.

“I’m not so sure about that…”

“Could you please just try talking to her? I’d feel awful knowing we’re all here without even asking her,” Denise pleaded.

“Alright, yeah, I’ll call her,” Faith sighed.

“Wonderful. We will see you on Thursday,” Denise said sounding cheerful.

“See you Thursday. Bye,” Faith said, hanging up the phone and leaning her head back until it was resting on the headboard. She stared at the phone lying on her lap, debating when to call Lizzy. Call her now and get it over with or call her later as she stalled trying to think of the right way to word things. She sighed and picked up the phone, dialing her parents house back in Connecticut.

“Hello?”

“Hey, sis,” Faith said and she could just vision Lizzy rolling her eyes.

“What do you want?” she scoffed the same question she asked the last time Faith called home to talk to their mother.

“Lizzy, please. I’m your older sister and I think I deserve just a little bit of respect,” Faith said, getting fed up with her sisters smart ass responses.

“You lost all respect the moment you stepped on that fucking plane.”

“Just shut up and let me talk, alright?”

“Whatever,” Lizzy said, letting it fall silent so Faith could speak.

“Denise is having everyone over at their house for Thanksgiving dinner and we would really love for you to join us,” Faith said in one breath. It was silent as she waited for Lizzy to answer.

“Give me five good reasons why I should go.”

“Mom and Dad are here, the Jonas family is your family too, we don’t want you to be alone for Thanksgiving, I haven’t seen you in the longest time, and finally,” she said, taking a deep breath. “Nicholas and I are getting a divorce and I’m pregnant and the baby is either his or Joe’s and of all of the people in the world, you are one that I want here by my side to help me through this.”

“1. Mom and Dad can survive one Thanksgiving without me. 2. I don’t give a flying fuck about the Jonas family right now. 3. I’d rather be here and able to spend Thanksgiving with Michael. 4. I don’t want to see you. And 5. I thought high school was full of fucked up drama,” Lizzy said, each word cutting into Faith like a knife. Faith felt a few tears drop down her face and she sniffed them back.

“Does the word family mean anything to you anymore, Lizzy?” she asked, choking on her words. “What happened to the little sister I would have died for? I need her back now. I need my best friend.”

“She grew up. She realized how much better off she is now. Now if you’ll excuse me I have better places to go and better people to see.”

“Lizzy, wait!” Faith said and she could hear Lizzy still breathing into the receiver. She thought about what she was going to say and tried to hold back the tears. “This could be Daddy’s last Thanksgiving.”

“You’re a bitch. Don’t you ever say something like that again,” Lizzy said before slamming the phone down on the receiver. Faith pulled the phone away from her ear as the tears fell and ended the call. She took a moment to compose herself before picking up the phone again and calling Joe.

“Hello?” he asked and she could hear water running in the background.

“Hey, are you busy?” she asked, wiping away the last of the tears.

“No. What’s wrong? You sound upset.”

“I just talked to Lizzy…”

“Oh.”

“Yeah,” she sighed, picking at the cover of her bed. “It was awful.”

“I’m sorry. Is there anything I can do?” he asked and she heard the sound of running water disappear.

“I just… I don’t know. Can we go to the diner tomorrow? For breakfast? I just need to get away, like you used to. To escape things even for just awhile.”

“Absolutely. Do you want me to pick you up and I can drive you to work after?”

“Yeah, that would be great. What time do they open?” she asked, tapping her fingers against her kneecap.

“Five thirty. What time do you want to go?”

“Would you be willing to get there around six? That way neither of us will be late or anything getting to work.”

“Yeah, sure, that’s fine with me. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Yeah, see you,” she whispered, pushing the end button and placing the phone back on the bed next to her.

Faith sighed and rolled her head against the headboard until her chin was resting on her left shoulder. Her eyes rose to look out the window and she saw the stars shining above. Slowly she sat up, scooting to the side of the bed closer to the window to see if she could catch a glimpse of the moon. It was there, by the top right corner of the window pane. She looked up at it, just admiring the beauty.

She remembered a time when she was younger; before she was a teenager; before her father was sick; before her little sister hated her. The four of them would get together every summer and go camping for a week in August. A few days before she and Lizzy would find their sleeping bags, shake the dust they may have accumulated off of them, and lay them out in their bedroom. They would then proceed to build a blanket fort around them to surpass as a tent and spend those last few nights pretending they were camping before they actually went camping.

Every summer Faith looked forward to that week away until she became a teenager and her friends seemed more important than her family. She had been very rebellious back then when it came to camping week. There were things she had said to her parents that she wished she could take back. Taking one last look up at the moon she stood up from her bed and made her way to the stairs.

As she walked she could hear the laughter from some late night sitcom flowing from the television. Near the bottom of the stairs she stopped and looked into the living room to see her mother curled up on the couch, her father’s wheel chairs parked next to her. His left hand was resting on the arm of the couch and her mother was absentmindedly playing with the wedding ring on his finger. Faith smiled when she saw her mother’s lips touch the ring knowing that no matter what this illness did to her father, her mother would be there with him through it all.

“Hey,” she whispered, walking into the room. Her parents looked over at her and mother smiled. She sat up and patted the couch cushion next to her for Faith to sit on.

“Hi… sweet… heart…” her father said slowly and she smiled over at him.

“What’s on your mind?” Meg asked, wrapping an arm around her daughter’s shoulders and pulling her close.

“I just talked to Lizzy,” she said with a sigh. “Denise wanted me to ask her to fly out here for Thanksgiving. She said no… in a colorful way.”

“Oh sweetie, your sister loves you. She just still hasn’t… matured… enough to apologize for the way she’s acting. She will come around eventually.”

“It’s already been over a year. I don’t want to have to wait five more for my little sister to stop hating me,” she said, a lump forming in her throat. “It made me think how I have something to apologize for.”

“What would that be?”

“Do you remember when Lizzy and I were little and every summer you would take us camping for a week?” she asked and her mother nodded her head.

“You… loved… it…”

“Yeah, when I was little. But, do you remember when I was a teenager and I hated it? I said so many things to the two of you that I deeply wish I could take back. Talking to Lizzy tonight made me realize that I never apologized for any of that so… I’m sorry.”

“It’s… alright…” William wheezed.

“Your father’s right. I honestly completely forgot all about that. We appreciate the apology but it was nothing you needed to worry about,” Meg said, smoothing back Faith’s hair and kissing her forehead. “Especially with everything that’s going on. You just need a good night’s sleep.”

“You’re right. I think I’ll just go to bed now, especially since I’m getting up early,” Faith said, standing up.

“What for?”

“Joe and I are going to this diner for breakfast and we’re going early so we won’t be late for work. Plus he’ll be driving me.”

“Alright well have fun. And have a good day at work,” Meg said, squeezing Faith’s hand as she walked over to her father.

“Thanks Mom. I’ll see you tomorrow night,” she said, bending down and kissing her father’s forehead.

“I… love… you…” her father said, his voice quieter with each word.

“I love you, too,” Faith said, blowing a kiss to both her parents before heading up the stairs.

****

“Morning,” Faith said, wrapping her arms around Joe’s neck once she reached where he was, leaning up against the hood of his car. He held her tight for a moment before leaning down and kissing the top of her head.

“Morning,” he whispered, walking her around the car and opening the passenger door. “Are you hungry?”

“Very,” she said, nodding her head as she climbed into the car and buckled her seatbelt. “I might get French toast.”

“That sounds amazing,” he said, buckling himself in and starting the car, a song playing through the speakers from whatever radio station he left it on. “I was thinking a stack of pancakes myself.”

“Oh, now that sounds good,” she said as Joe pulled out onto the road and started driving to the diner.

“How about you get French toast, I’ll get pancakes, and we’ll split,” he suggested, looking over at her as the morning sun shone through the car window across her face.

“It’s a plan,” she said with a smile.

Throughout the rest of the ride they talked on and off. Faith told Joe of her disastrous call to Lizzy. All the while Joe held Faith’s hand in his over the console between them. Before Faith knew it, Joe was pulling into the diner’s parking lot.

After shutting off the car he walked around to her side and opened her door, giving her his hand to help her out. He pushed the lock button on his key chain and they both heard the two beeps as the car locked. Faith entangled her fingers with Joe’s and taking a deep breath she pushed open the door to the diner. One step inside and she could hear Cheryl’s raucous but inviting laughter. Joe said something to the hostess who smiled at them before turning to go towards the back.

“Where is she going?” Faith whispered as she leaned towards Joe.

“Getting Cheryl for us,” he said, a smile appearing on his face when he saw Cheryl coming into view.

“There they are!” she cried, walking over with open arms. Her eyes drifted down to their linked fingers and her smile grew wider, if possible. “Oh my stars! Look at you two!”

Both Faith and Joe let out awkward laughs as she hugged them. She grabbed some menus and led them to a table in the back. She shuffled away to get them drinks and Faith looked at Joe as she laughed.

“She seems…”

“Excited,” Joe finished as he smiled at Faith across the table. She nodded her head in agreement and looked down at the table. “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know. Just everything that’s happening between you, me, and Nick and now this continuing thing with Lizzy… it’s just a lot to handle.”

“Just keep holding on there. We’ll make it through this,” he said, reaching for her hand and giving it a reassuring squeeze.

“I’m just scared,” she whispered looking up at him, a tear dripping down her cheek.

“About what?”

“What if this baby isn’t yours? It’s going to screw everything we have planned up.”

“Just try not to think about it now. Just think about getting through the divorce and living a healthy pregnancy. Think about us, we’ll have to look for a house soon.”

“You’re right. And I decided I want to wait until after the baby is born to have a paternity test. I looked up in utero tests and they’re risky.”

“That’s fine. You do what you think is best for you and the baby.”

“Here we are,” Cheryl said brightly, setting their drinks down on the table and pulling out her pad. “Ready to order dears?”

“Yeah,” Joe said, stroking his thumb along the top of Faith’s hand as he looked at Cheryl, giving her their order.

His voice faded in and out as Faith looked out the window and thought about her two possible futures. One starred Joe as the baby’s father and they were married and in a new house and everything was just perfect. In the other Nick was the father and she was shuffling a child back and forth between her and Nick and it seemed chaotic and not the way she’d want to raise a child. Fear and guilt tugged at her insides. The sound of Cheryl’s laughter from another table brought her back to the present and she looked at Joe as he took a sip of his orange juice. It was at that moment that she hoped to God that Joe was the father.