When You Read Between the Lines

One early December morning, Faith tossed in her sleep, a vision of her past in her head. She could see snow falling fast in front of her. Reaching her hand out, she watched as the white flakes dropped onto her blue mittens and melted. Laughter pulled her attention to the left. After squinting for a moment she saw Lizzy rolling a snowball on the ground to make the bottom of a snowman. It was a six year old Lizzy. That meant that Faith was twelve.

She and Lizzy were best friends at this time in life. At this time in life… they were happy. She smiled as Lizzy called out for her and waved her over. Together they built a snowman as the snow poured down all around them. The buzzing of her alarm clock brought her away from her dream and she rolled over in bed, shutting it off.

She was disappointed, to say the least. Not only was she taken away from a memory of when her sister actually liked her, she was taken away from snow. She was taken away from being happy. Sitting up she brought her knees up to her chest and rested her head on her knees. Remembering the date she looked back at her clock and jumped out of bed.

Vivienne had given her the morning off of work in order for her to go to her first OB/GYN appointment. She had already called Nick the night before to let him know. She also told him that it would be better if neither he nor Joe accompanied her to any appointments but she would definitely give them any information. Now all she had to do was call Joe and tell him that only Dani, her mother, or Denise would be with her. With a sigh she grabbed the phone and dialed Joe’s cell.

“Hey,” he said and she could hear the happiness in his voice

“Hi,” she said, biting her lip and sitting down on the bed.

“I feel like I haven’t talked to you in the longest time. What’s up?”

“I know, I miss you.”

“I miss you, too,” he said softly and she felt her heart flutter.

“So… I called to tell you something.”

“Shoot.”

“I called Nick last night to tell him…”

“Is everything okay?” he asked sounding panicked.

“No, no, no. Everything’s fine,” she said, a smile making its way to her face as she heard the concern in his voice.

“Oh, okay… what did you want to tell me?”

“I have my first OB/GYN appointment today. Dani is going to go with me since I feel it would be inappropriate if you or Nick came with me.”

“Oh… well if that’s what you think is best,” he said and she could tell that he was disappointed.

“To be honest… I do. But don’t worry. I’ll be sharing any and all information with you and with Nick since we don’t know which of you is the father. It will be best to have both of you prepared for what is coming. However, any appointments and classes I may have will be accompanied by either Dani, Denise, or my mother.”

“Okay. That sounds fair. So you’ll call me after?”

“Well of course,” she said, smiling like a fool now.

The way Joe cared for this unborn child that might not be his made her love for him seem so much stronger. He rivaled Nick. Nick seemed to come off as… scared or nervous. It was like he was hiding his true feelings from everyone which isn’t what Faith wanted. Not right now.

“Good. I can’t wait to hear about it.”

“I can’t wait to tell you,” she said and they both laughed.

“I really, really miss you, Faith.”

“I know,” she said, letting out a sigh. “Because I really, really miss you, too.”

“I just… I can’t wait.”

“For what?”

“You,” he said and her breath caught in her throat.

“Me?”

“Yes you,” he said laughing. “I can’t wait for our life together. You, me, and the baby. I can’t wait for us to find a house of our own.”

“Neither can I,” she said with a smile. She felt a pang in her chest when she thought that there was the slight chance he wasn’t the father.

“You know what I can’t wait for most of all?”

“No… what would that be?”

“Our wedding day,” he said softly.

“Oh,” she said, a tear pricking at the corner of her eyes.

“You uh… do want to get married? Right?” he asked and she could hear the hesitation in his voice.

“Of course I do! Joe, you know that,” she sighed. “I was just surprised, is all.”

“Well it wasn’t a proposal,” he said causing her to laugh.

“I know. I know. I’m just as excited as you are. I just think we should take it one step at a time.”

“Yeah, you’re right.”

“Oh, I know,” she joked. “Listen, I have to get going. Dani’s on her way over to get me and we don’t want to be late.”

“Okay, I’ll let you go. I love you, Faith.”

“I love you too, Joe. Bye,” she said, hanging up and smiling down at the phone for a moment before getting up and getting dressed.

****

Faith and Dani sat in the waiting room of Dr. Susan Greene’s office. They were surrounded by many expectant mothers; all of them with stomach’s showing proof of their pregnancy. A few looked ready to explode. Faith looked down at her almost flat stomach. One month of pregnancy hardly shows but she knew her body well and she could see the slightest of bumps forming.

“Do you realize how expensive all of this is going to be?” Danielle blurted out, pulling Faith away from her thoughts. She was flipping through a magazine for expectant mothers.

“I haven’t even looked at anything yet,” Faith admitted as she shrugged her shoulders.

“Why not?” Dani asked, lifting her gaze to look at Faith.

“Well, I want to know the sex first…”

“Naturally.”

“And… I think I should sit down with Nick and Joe once I do. The three of us can look at things together and find stuff we all like. You know, just to be safe. Because I don’t want to buy something that Joe loves but Nick hates in the off chance that Nick would be the father…”

“Have you guys talked about it?” Dani asked.

“About what, exactly?”

“What you’re going to do if Nick’s the father?” she asked, closing the magazine and setting it down on the table in front of her so all of her attention could be focused on Faith.

“Not yet… I think that’s going to happen soon though. There’s just so much to deal with. I have to worry about who the father of my child is. Joe and I want to go house hunting as well as arrange a marriage. Both Nick and Joe need to prepare themselves for a child. I have to buy all these necessities as well as prepare myself…”

“Whoa, back up,” Dani said, closing her eyes and putting her hands up in front of herself.

“To what?”

“The whole planning a marriage part.”

“Oh, well, Joe and I are going to get married. After the baby is born of course.”

“So… you’re engaged?”

“Well, no. But I figure everyone is expecting it anyway. Aren’t you?” Faith asked, her eyebrows furrowing together.

“Sure but… I thought it wouldn’t be for awhile. I mean… don’t you two want to date first?”

“Technically we have been dating for a few months. Not officially of course except for this past month but we would do things together that weren’t really normal for a woman and her brother-in-law to do. As long as we’re happy I don’t see a problem with it.”

“Of course not. There’s not a problem with it at all. It’s obvious you two love each other. We all expect a marriage to come out of this but the main concern… is Nick. Like… I honestly don’t think he’d want to be part of the bridal party in his brother’s wedding to his ex-wife. Do you?”

“No…” Faith said slowly, a frown forming on her face.

“I’m not even sure if he’d want to go to the wedding,” Danielle said, putting her hand on top of Faith’s. “But it would still be your and Joe’s day. I’m just concerned, is all.”

“I know. Because you can’t help it,” Faith teased causing Dani to laugh.

“Faith Jonas?” the nurse called, her body keeping the door open. Faith and Dani stood and followed the nurse to the back. “I’m just going to take your weight and blood pressure. Then we’ll go into the exam room.”

“Okay,” Faith said as she stepped up onto the scale.

“Alright,” the nurse said, jotting a few things down and leading them to the exam room. She pointed at the table and then looked at Faith. “Just sit here and Dr. Greene will be with you in a moment.”

“Thank you.”

“You nervous?” Dani asked as Faith sat up on the table.

“A little.”

“Me too,” she said and Faith let out a small laugh.

“You?”

“Yeah!”

“You’re not the one who’s going to be probed and poked!” Faith said, laughing again as Dani just looked up at her.

“True but that’s my little niece or nephew in there.”

“Hey, when am I getting one of those?” Faith asked, kicking her leg out and tapping Danielle’s knee.

“I don’t know,” she said, shrugging her shoulders. “When we’re ready.”

“You and Kevin are celebrating your seven year anniversary this month!”

“I know… it’s not like we aren’t trying. It just hasn’t worked yet. I really want kids, Faith.”

“I know honey. You’ll get some,” she said as there was a knock on the door. “Come in.”

“Hi, Faith. How are you doing today?” Dr. Greene asked as she came in looking down at the chart.

“I’m good, Dr. Greene. How are you?”

“Fine. Just fine,” she said, looking up and smiling. “And who do we have here?”

“This is my sister-in-law, Danielle.”

“Pleasure to meet you.”

“Same here,” Dani said, shaking her hand.

“So how far along are you, Faith?” she asked, grabbing the stool and sliding it over, closer to the table.

“A little over a month.”

“Okay. How has it been so far? Any morning sickness?”

“No. Not yet, at least.”

“Good. And your husband, how’s he taking it?” she asked. It was silent for a moment as Faith and Danielle shared a look. Dani cleared her throat and looked down at her hands as Dr. Greene looked between the two of them.

“About that… I have something to ask you,” Faith admitted.

“Go ahead,” she said; setting the chart aside so she could pay more attention.

“My husband and I are in the process of getting a divorce…”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Dr. Greene said sympathetically.

“Thank you, but that’s not really what I need to say.”

“I’m sorry, go on.”

“This is going to sound awful but I am currently having a relationship with his brother. My husband and I, before we decided on a divorce, had sex on Halloween. His brother and I had sex a few days after. Neither night involved protection so…”

“The baby could either be your husbands or his brother’s,” Dr. Greene said, nodding her head in understanding.

“Right. What is the best method of finding out paternity?”

“Well, in a few months we could do a test in utero but that could have some complications. I’d say that for the health of you and your baby it would be best to wait until the baby is born and we can do a test then.”

“Okay. Yes, I’ll wait,” Faith said, nodding her head and she felt Dani squeeze her hand.

“If you don’t mind my asking… do both men know that there is the possibility either one could be the father?”

“Yes, of course.”

“Alright. Now, if you’re ready you can lie back and lift your shirt and I can perform the ultra sound,” she said, smiling at Faith as she scooted back on the table.

****

Faith stood in the hallway waiting patiently at the door. She heard footsteps heading towards her. Clutching her purse to her body her heart pounded in her chest as she counted the seconds until the door would be pulled open. A smile instantly graced her face when she saw Joe’s smile of surprise. Stepping forward he engulfed her in a hug.

“What are you doing here?” he asked excitedly, pulling her inside as he closed the door behind them.

“I know I said I would call you but I wanted to come straight over. I have an ultrasound picture!”

“You do? Oh man, wow. Can I see it?” he asked and Faith smiled at his excitement.

“Of course,” she said, reaching into her purse.

“Wait, we should probably sit down so I don’t faint from excitement or anything,” he said, putting his hand on her back and leading her to the couch.

“Good idea,” she said, clutching the photograph to her chest. They sat next to each other and Joe draped his right arm across her shoulders.

“Okay, I’m ready,” he said, taking a breath. Faith pulled her hands away from her chest and showed him the picture.

“The baby is right there,” she said, pointing. “I know it’s hard to tell but Dr. Greene assured me that this is what a one month ultrasound normally looks like.”

“Wow. This is… amazing,” Joe said, his eyes wide as he grazed his fingers across the glossy surface. “Are you um… going to take this to Nick to see?”

“I don’t know…” she admitted, looking up at him. “I’m going to call him, of course. I do have a copy for him just in case but I’ll ask him if he wants me to bring it over. He doesn’t… he’s just not as enthusiastic about this as you are.”

“I don’t know what to tell you, babe. He’s been pretty complicated lately. I mean, I told you about the photo shoot. It’s like I didn’t even recognize him.”

“Yeah, I know. It’s kind of disappointing though. I mean… if he is the father what’s he going to be like after the baby is born?”

“Just, give it time. He’s probably still wrapping his head around it. It has only been a month.”

“You’re right,” she said with a sigh as she leaned into his chest, breathing in his scent.

“You said something about a copy of the ultrasound for Nick?”

“Yeah, this one’s yours,” she said, tapping the picture that was now resting on Joe’s leg.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” she said, resting her hand on his chest as she looked up at him, a smile on her face.

He smiled down at her and ran his hand through her hair, letting his fingers graze her cheek. She closed her eyes in content and pressed her cheek into the palm of his hand. Joe let his thumb slowly drag across her lips before closing his eyes and replacing it with his lips. Faith gripped onto his shirt as she sat up to be at a more comfortable angle. Slowly she moved the picture from Joe’s leg to the coffee table before placing her hand on his shoulders and relishing this time with him. It was at that moment that she realized how much she had truly missed him in the past few weeks. Sure they had seen each other but now they were finally alone and she couldn’t think of anything she ever wanted more.