Flirting With the Wind

I was fumbling with my bracelet as I walked outside to the gardens to say goodbye to Hugo, with less than optimistic thoughts running through my mind. How was this ever going to work? Hugo was going to be out fighting in this awful war and I’m going to be here in Germany. They were even sending him to France and I felt as though those French girls were going to steal him away from me.

Whilst I thought all these pessimistic things Hugo brought my hand up to his lips. I gave a weak smile and looked at him wishing that he wouldn’t leave; that he’d runaway with me to America where we could get married and be safe. But I knew it was his duty, and to ask him to runaway would be wrong. My hands shook as I reached into the pocket of my coat and pulled out my most prized possession the copy of my favorite story The Happy Prince by Oscar Wilde. Hugo looked at me questioningly.

“I don’t really have any photos and I wanted to let you have something to remember me by, its stupid,” I ramble as I began to put the book back in my pocket but Hugo stopped me.
“It’s not stupid, I’ll protect it with my life,” he says with a soft reassuring smile as he took the book from my hand. I looked up at him not wanting to forget his face or smile. My eyes glazed over with tears.
“Just remember to come back.”
“I will,” he says putting his hand under my chin lightly and placed a tender kiss upon my lips. I found myself trying to savor this moment, the moment I said goodbye to the love of my life, Hugo Stiglitz.

I woke to the sound of voices and I did my best to open my heavy eyelids to see my murky surroundings. My body hurt, a pain was in my leg as well as my left side. The pain was incredibly hard to endure because it was so sharp like a double edged sword had been lodged into me. I couldn’t move much either and my eyes began adjusting seeing Hugo’s worried eyes on me, his hand resting on mine.

His gentle touch sent waves of warmth through my body and I brought myself to reality after staring at him for a minute, taking my hand from under his. I could not get attached to him again; I just couldn’t deal with the pain. My eyes fleeted to Jean Claude who was stitching me up diligently.

“Pass me the whiskey will ya?” I mutter in a raspy voice as I tried to prop myself up on my elbows but collapsed instantly from the pain.
“Not so tough now, kid, I don’t know how you took the other bullet in your shoulder last time let alone these ones now,” Jean Claude states handing me the bottle of whiskey.
“My body was already numbed with morphine and various other drugs when you found me fighting, no morphine in me right now so yeah this fucking hurts,” I respond drinking the warm whiskey letting it burn as it slide down my throat.

“What were those for?” he asks.
“So I wouldn’t have the strength to kill myself or run away from Landa,” I found myself say.
“I’m going to kill him,” Hugo growls.
“For what? At least he was there taking me to the hospital when Nicholas was on the way and always went to visit making sure Hellstrom didn’t lay another finger on me,” I counter looking at Hugo seriously.
“I can’t believe you are defending the Jew Hunter,” Hugo retorts angrily.
“Yeah well I can’t believe you never thought to come back but that’s what happened so get the fuck over it,” I snap narrowing my eyes at him.
“I couldn’t bring myself to see your grave,” he states.

“Coward, I would have gone to see you if I were to get a letter like the one you got, just to know if it was true, if I knew you would give up so easily I would have left Germany when my father died and I would still have my dignity and humanity,” I retort furiously.
“I was doing this for you, because you once asked me who was fighting for these people, so I started fighting for them,” Hugo counters giving me an intense stare.
“Why didn’t you ever tell me that Hellstrom threatened you to stay away from me?” I demand. Hugo’s face faltered and he removed his gaze from mine.
“Because I knew you’d stop seeing me if you knew,” he mutters quietly.
“You had no fucking right to keep that from me Hugo!”
“I was protecting you from him.”
“Oh wow look how wonderful that turned out,” I spat sarcastically.
“Mira-” Hugo starts to say but I cut him off.

“No, you don’t get it do you, you think it was a fucking coincidence that once you were gone my family was killed? I could have prevented them from dying if you just told me what was going on! It’s not enough that I already feel awful but you have to be an idiot and not tell me for your own selfish needs! How dare you do that,” I rant furiously.
“What would you have done huh? Are you saying you would have just gone along with Hellstrom?”
“I would have done anything to keep everyone safe and alive; I would have been more careful!”
“Ich wusste nicht, er würde tun, was er dir angetan, ich konnte mir nicht vorstellen, jemand will Sie verletzen Mira (I did not know he would do what he had done to you, I couldn't imagine anybody wanting to hurt you Mira),” Hugo responds softly in German.

“In aller Ehrlichkeit ich gar nicht denken, dass Sie bemerkt seine Grausamkeit, weil Sie selbst waren grausam. Sie haben nichts gesehen, weil es normal, dass man war. Aber ich sah es, ich habe es aus dem Moment traf ich diesen Mann, er werde versuchen, mich zu ruinieren noch nach allem, was er mir antat sah, warst du diejenige, die mich ruinieren verwaltet. Es war meine Hoffnung dumm, dass man mich von ihm retten, fuhr mich über den Rand. (In all honesty I don't even think you noticed his cruelty because you yourself were cruel. You didn't see anything because it was normal to you. But I saw it, I saw it coming from the very moment I met that man that he would try to ruin me yet after all he put me through, you were the one that managed to ruin me. It was my stupid hope that you'd save me from him that drove me over the edge.)” I counter back in German.

Hugo looked at me long and hard, his eyes glazed over with intense emotion, emotions of sadness and desperation. I watched as he put his hand in his pocket then pulled out the tattered copy of The Happy Prince. Wordlessly he set the book in my hand then got up and left the room. My heart clenched tightly and I wanted to scream out for him but I didn’t. I had no words to say, and I felt my heart break all over again after seeing the look of sadness and remorse in his blue green eyes. Never had I seen him so upset and I knew I was the one that caused his sadness.

Tears began streaming down the sides of my face as I held up the old book in front of my eyes. After everything that had happened he kept the book safe, he had been captured by Nazis, trekking through the forest yet still he had the book even though he thought I was dead. Hugo had kept the book and protected it with his life as he had promised.

I wanted to get up and chase after him but my body refused to cooperate. Being alone in the room I still tried to get up. As I sat up gritting in intense pain, I swung my legs with much difficulty and attempted to stand on the one uninjured leg. Gripping a nearby chair I attempted to gain some sort of balance as I maneuvered myself towards the open door. It felt like the flimsy wooden chair weighed more than a hundred pounds the further I got away from the bed. The shrill sound of the chair scratching against the floor sent my ears running for the hills. Finally reaching the doorway I leaned against the frame, beads of sweat trickling down my forehead and felt as though I was going to pass out from the sheer pain that caused my whole body to throb.

“Jesus kid what the hell do you think you’re doing walking around?!” Jean Claude exclaims running towards me with Aldo following closely behind.
“I’m fine,” I grumbled as I gripped the edges of the doorway so that I wouldn’t fall if my legs gave out.
“Yew look like yer goin’ to pass out,” Aldo comments.
“Where’d Hugo go?” I question faintly as I pressed my forehead against the wooden doorway.
“He left to get some air. I reckon yew two had another fight,” he answers.
“Please tell him to come back.”
“You need rest kid, you can’t be doing this to yourself. Its not good for you,” Jean Claude says in a worried tone.
“I can’t rest, not right now just tell him to come back in here, please,” I say as my legs buckled and I grew even more disoriented with each passing minute.
“Go get Stiglitz, at this rate she’s going to rip the stitches out.”

Aldo nodded and Jean Claude swooped me into his arms then carried me back into bed.

“You’re a fighter, Mirabel, a real fighter,” he says tenderly as he wiped the sweat from my brow with a handkerchief. I struggled to keep my eyes open as my body began to shut down and Jean Claude’s face fell, his eyes widening with worry.

“Stay with me kid, stay with me!”

But I couldn’t do anything about the darkness that was beginning to consume me. My eyes refused to stay open and as they rolled into the back of my head, I heard only yelling.

Lord please give me enough time on this earth to tell Hugo that I was sorry. Do not let me die while he is feeling so guilty and sad. Please I beg you, let me make things right.