Flirting With the Wind

In my delirium I felt something of strange warmth cuddle up next to my body and I opened my eyes lazily to see what it was. My eyes took in the blended gray and brown fur and I thought I had been dreaming. The fur was silky smooth and warm against my cold bare arms; closing my eyes I snuggled closer as I drifted off into a deep dreamless sleep against my canine angel.

Waking up with the vague overcast light peeking through the trees above me and voice calling my name in the distance I pushed myself up weakly from the forest floor. The world seemed darker more hopeless than usual and I walked in a zombie-like manner towards the voice. A part of me wished it was the voice of an angel telling me to come with them to heaven where I would be able to see my father but I knew the pain I felt meant I was still alive.

My tunnel vision only allowed me to take in what was ahead of me, the things that had to be done. My movements were more deliberate and I kept walking back towards the house. Sergeant Stiglitz appeared in my view standing in my way but I merely stepped to the left dodging his hulking frame yet that was not enough he moved with me halting me from going any further.

“I have things to do, now please step aside,” I say monotone staring at his chest not feeling like looking into anyone’s eyes.
“I’ll carry you back,” he responds.
“Nein you will do not such thing,” I snap looking up at him fiercely. When I looked up I saw the bags under his eyes as if he had been up all night, his blue green eyes held worry, his clothes disheveled and dirty. A part of me wondered how long I had been gone but the more dominant part of me didn’t care and only had one thing in mind which was to go to the house to begin preparations to lay my father’s lifeless body to rest and inform my brothers of his passing.

“You have no shoes and you are all cut up,” Sergeant Stiglitz argues with pleading eyes. It was true I was a damn mess, my legs were crusted over with dry blood from all the cuts and my feet were sore with cuts on them from the jagged rocks. Everything hurt and what hurt the most was the hollow feeling in my chest where my heart was supposed to be. I didn’t care anymore, I couldn’t care anymore.

“Get out of my way Stiglitz,” I growl. I saw a brief flicker of hurt in his eyes before they hardened glowering at me. Set in my ways I pushed him away roughly and trekked towards the house leaving Sergeant Stiglitz to stand there where I had left him with a clenched jaw and cold expression upon his distinctly beautiful features.

I found my way to the house and was greeted by no one. Everyone was too busy sitting shocked in their seats as I passed by them soundlessly. Making it to the bathroom I stripped off torn and dirt covered night dress I had been wearing then got into the shower. The water ran hot mixed with the soap causing the cuts on my arms and legs to burn and my skin to turn red from the intense heat. I didn’t care I welcomed the pain letting it make me feel I was still alive. Once the water no longer ran red or brown I turned the shower off and wrapped a towel tightly around my body.

Dressing in a dark green sweater and black skirt I braided my wet hair to the side then slipped on some black ballet flats. I grabbed my purse and after slipping in the correct address for my oldest brother Michael. The fastest way to get the message to them was through telegram and that required me to go into town. With soft steps I made my way down the stairs and found my Uncle Frederick waiting for me at the bottom.
“Where are you going?” he inquires.
“I have to send a telegram to Michael,” I reply.
“Alright here, this should cover the price,” Uncle Frederick responds handing me some money.
“Okay,” I say putting the money in my purse and headed towards the front door.
“Private Hermann will drive you,” he replies. I merely nodded and left the house with the soldier named Hermann. The drive was quiet and I got out once he stopped the car in front of the telegram building. In the telegram I was short and to the point when informing my brothers of my father’s death. I told them he was going to be buried in Germany in the family crypt that our grandparents were buried in.

Lastly I informed them that I loved them all so very much. I was done sending the telegram I headed out of the building to see Hermann leaning against the car casually but he stood up promptly upon seeing me exit the building. My gaze met a bar across the street as I got back into the car but all I did was make a mental note of it nothing more.

When we got back to the house Hermann rushed to open my door and I got out of the car heading back into the house. The funeral came and went three days later my mind only running on cruise control now. Mental images of my father's lifeless body being lowered into the moist earth were prevalent in my mind. His handsome face looking peaceful and I kept telling myself that now he felt no pain; that he was with my mama up in heaven. Sometimes even that was hard to believe, that there was even a heaven anymore. My father was the only one the accepted me for who I was and knew just how I felt; now I didn't have that and felt lost.

A week passed and I was wanting to get away but with the impending war, getting out of country was going to be most difficult. My aunt and uncle weren’t helping me at all; in all honesty I think they were trying to coax me into staying. In my state of cabin fever and grief I needed to escape. If I didn’t have the vast amounts of money needed to get away I would surely gain it or at the very least find a way out of the country. Then the seedy looking bar popped into my mind.

I had no doubt that there would be gambling going on there as well as other things. Looking at the time it was nearing ten o’clock at night, I changed into a black dress with a fitted top and a flared out skirt with a pair of ruby red kitten heels. I put on some rouge and ruffled my hair so that it was more wild and curly.

Satisfied with my appearance I put some money in my small purse then turned off the lights of my bedroom after making a false body of pillows in the bed making it seem like I was only in bed to anyone who came in. Then I opened the window keeping my shoes in hand whilst I walked along the side of the roof barefooted and carefully made my way to the nearby tree growing next to the house.

I reached out with my free hand and clutched onto the tree as I walked across the branch away from the house as if I were a tight rope walker in the circus. Gracefully I got to the other side and proceeded to swing myself to the other side of the tree to begin my descent.

Tossing my shoes and purse on the grass I swung off the branch hung down by my arms then as the wet grass grazed the tips of my toes I let go to plant my feet firmly on the ground. Grabbing my things I left the estate without being stopped. Making it to the road I placed my shoes on my feet then headed along the dark road like it was some ordinary thing to do.

The cool wind whipped my hair around making it all the more wild and I finally reached town making my way to the entrance of the bar. I entered the bar and all eyes turned to me as I headed towards the bar to get a drink. Tonight should make for an interesting night.