Learning to Love June

I had never felt more rebellious than in the second Kellan and I walked out of school. Deep down I knew that skipping school was wrong, the fast track to prison, but at that moment all I could think about was Kellan’s hand in mine and how we fit together perfectly.

“Should we really be doing this?” I ask him, wondering what Jessica is going to do when she realizes that I’m not there when school ends.

“As opposed to what? Kinda of doing this?” he says with a sly grin on his face that makes me want to smack him. And then make out with him.

“Shut up you know what I mean,” I say, glaring at him.

He sighs and runs a hand through his curls, and looks at me with an intense look on his face that makes my stomach erupt again, “Yes, we should really be doing this June.”

I nod because I lost my voice somewhere in his eyes and because I just don’t want him to stop looking at me like that.

He starts down the steps, dragging me behind him and I remember that the school has cameras, “We’re going to get caught,” I hiss at him trying to wiggle my hand free of his grasp but not really wanting to let him go.

“I promise June, I wouldn’t let you get caught,” he says and I can tell he’s grinning but just the way he says it makes me believe it somewhere deep inside me.

“Okay,” I breathe, letting him take me down the steps and somewhere that we can be just us.

&&

“This is so not happening,” I tell him, crossing my arms sharply across my chest.

He sighs for the umpteenth time and looks frustrated, “Don’t you trust me?”

“I trust you, just not that… machine,” I say, looking warily at the motorcycle in front of me and known that I should’ve guessed he had a motorcycle because that would just happen to me.

“Why not?”

“Because, it’s a death trap.”

“Is that your opinion or your moms opinion?” He asks with a wicked smirk and I feel like hitting him.

“Both.”

He laughs once and shakes his head back and forth slowly, “June just get on the bike.”

“That’s not going to happen.”

“Why are you making this so difficult?” He asks, rubbing his temples with his hands.

“I am not making this difficult; you’re the one with the goddamn motorcycle,” I say feeling exasperated and throwing my hands above my head.

“Hey now, no need to insult it,” He says patting the front of the bike like he’s soothing it or something.

“Jesus your crazy aren’t you?”

“Coming from the girl who is afraid of a motorcycle,” he smirks.

“Shut up, it’s a perfectly reasonable fear,” I say folding my arms back across my chest and doing my best to glare at him.

“Says who?”

“Me.”

“Jesus June,” he says, resting his head in his hands, “Are you going to get on the bike or am I going to have to kidnap you?”

“You would kidnap me? Sicko,” I say with a small grin.

“And now you’re calling me names,” he says, feigning hurt but I can see his eyes laughing.

“Well I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings,” I say, not sounding sorry at all and making a face at him.

“Well you could always make it up to me,” He grins, raising his eyebrows slightly and I feel myself blush.

“Really, how?” I say, trying to stay confident.

“Get on the bike.”

“No, that’s not going to happen,” I say, “I’d rather your feelings be hurt.”

“Oh would you now?” He says with one eyebrow raised standing up from the bike and stepping closer to me.

“Yes,” I lie as he steps even closer so we’re pressed together and I can feel his sturdy chest against my own and his heartbeat drumming in time with mine and I can feel the sky open up and drop happiness all over my body.

“Liar,” He calls me, dropping his face so I can look into his eyes and see myself reflected there.

“Shut up,” I breathe, completely running out of excuses.

He just smiles at me and glances at my lips for a second, it’s just one little second but it makes my heart break into a sprint. He moves closer and closer, so I can feel his breath blowing in my face and it smells like mint which means he must’ve not even lunch. Then I worry about what my breath smells like but before I can completely freak out his lips are on mine and the world is exploding.

This is a real kiss, deep and slow as his hands snake around my waist and drag me closer even though we were close enough before. I kiss him back, hoping that I’m not a horrible kissing and wind my fingers in his hair. I don’t care that I’m supposed to be in sixth period right now or that he wants me to ride a motorcycle. All I know is that he is kissing me and I love how his lips feel against mine and how it’s like we’re all alone in the world.

But all too soon he’s pulling away and cold air comes to replace where his body was and I shiver. My eyes are still closed but I see colors instead of just the blackness of Kellan and his kiss. Slowly I open my eyes to see Kellan looking at me with that same intense face and my stomach drops to my feet in a good way.

“What?” I ask quietly, reaching up to touch my face like there’s something on it.

“Nothing,” he whispers, not looking away and I feel blood race up to my face.

I don’t say anything, just look down at the ground and see all the gum people carelessly tossed out of their mouths just sitting there on the road, forgotten. But soon Kellan’s rough hand is on my cheek and brings my face up to meet his eyes again.

“You have really pretty eyes,” he says and I could’ve died right then and there.

“You too,” I breathe because I still haven’t found my real voice because Kellan probably stole it from me during the kiss.

“Now are you going to get on the motorcycle?” He asks with a small smile.

“Sure,” I say, shaking my head slowly and knowing that trying to fight it anymore would be pointless.

He laughs slightly and hands me a helmet that I didn’t even know he had.

“Where’s your helmet?” I ask him with a sly grin, feeling the cool walls of the helmet slip over my head, but it’s too big and it falls over my eyes slightly.

“I only have one,” he shrugs like I should’ve guessed that and I feel a little thrill go through me at the fact he’d rather I be safe, because for some reason it’s the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.

“Hold on tight,” he says to me as he starts the death trap and it roars to life.

“You’re only saying that to make me get closer to you,” I tease him but slip my hands around his waist nonetheless.

“Darn, you caught me,” he laughs and kicks something so suddenly we’re moving and my grip on him tightens even more. “I bet you’re enjoying feeling me up,” He says as we fly down the school entrance.

“As if,” I half-lie and duck my head against the wind blowing at us.

“Fine but you know you want my body,” he laughs as we turn onto the road and I squeal and shut my eyes tightly.

“Yeah Kellan, I totally want your body,” I say, my voice dripping with sarcasm even though it’s the truth.

&&

“So you forced me to climb on a death trap to take me here?” I ask incredulously as I look at the park around me.

“Yeah,” Kellan shrugs and starts to climb off the bike. I quickly take my helmet off and pray that I don’t have helmet hair, but run my fingers through it just in case.

“This is kind of disappointing, I was expecting you to take me somewhere completely out of the ordinary,” I say smirking up at him.

“What’s wrong with the park?” He says, looking around him at all the open space and trees.

“Nothing, it’s just… ordinary.”

“Well I’m so sorry to disappoint you,” he makes a face at me.

I laugh and walk up to where he’s standing, wrapping my arms around his neck and pulling his face down to mine. “You didn’t disappoint me that much.”

“Good,” he says and kisses me quickly which makes the world burst on fire for a second.

“So what are we doing at the park anyway?”

“Going to the beach,” he says simply, turning and walking to the water’s edge.

“The beach?” I ask, sure that he’s joking or something.

“What now you have something against the beach too?”

“No no, I love the beach!” I say quickly.

“Then what’s the problem?” he asks, folding his arms across his chest.

“It’s November,” I say, gesturing to the overcast sky above us.

“And next month it will be December,” he says, shooting me a quick wink.

“You’re missing the point!” I say, catching up with him.

“Then what’s the point,” he asks, kicking his shoes off.

“It’s cold out,” I say, feeling a wind whip around me like a lasso.

“And?”

“I don’t have a bathing suit,” I say, feeling myself blush slightly.

“Good, that makes two of us,” He says, smiling at me and discarding his jacket.

“Oh Jesus,” I mutter looking down at the grass quickly and blushing like mad as his shirt floats to the ground slowly. I hear his belt come clattering down next and before I realize it I’m yelling, “Please leave your pants on!”

I hear his laugh float around the air and I hope he’s not actually going to take his pants off but the next thing I know I can see them in the corner of my eye sitting on the ground.

“Gross Kellan, puts some clothes on,” I say, feeling myself blush like mad.

“I do have some clothes on!” He laughs again.

“Underwear doesn’t count as clothing,” I tell him sharply.

“In my world it does,” he smirks and then his feet are walking away from me. I don’t take my eyes off the ground until I hear water splash and his voice call out, “Are you coming or what!”

“Or what!” I yell back, knowing that there’s no way in hell I’m taking off any clothing while he’s watching.

“Oh ‘common June, don’t be a buzz kill!”

“I’m not being a buzz kill, I just don’t want hypothermia,” I lie and pretend to shiver.

“I won’t look!” He offers and I can tell he’s still smirking.

“You promise?” I ask, feeling like I’m just going to die of embarrassment.

“I promise, boy scouts honor!” He says and I finally look up to see him standing up to his waist in the water and holding up three fingers like some sort of dork.

“That’s the girl scout thing loser!” I yell at him, trying to ignore his bare chest but finding it increasingly difficult.

“Really?” he asks, scrunching up his brow.

“Yes really,” I say, laughing slightly and feeling myself start to become less embarrassed.

“So are you coming in the water?”

“Do you promise not to look?” I ask, crossing my arms.

He sighs, “Yes I promise not to be a horn-dog and look away,” He makes a face at me and I blush again.

“So look away!” I say, making a shooing motion with my hand and he chuckles and turns around.

Before I can think about what I’m doing I through my jacket into the sand and kick off my shoes, my hands start to shake as I lift my shirt over my head and throw it down to the ground. I pause at my jeans and know it’s a bad idea, and that I’m just asking for trouble but then something deep inside me takes over and my jeans come off and I’m just standing there in my underwear.

“Can I look now?” Kellan yells.

I laugh and shake my head slowly as I start to make my way to the water, “If you are really that eager-“ I say but I’m cut off by Kellan’s body slamming into mine and water flying up around us and before I know it I’m completely under and the water is cold on my bare skin but Kellan is close enough that I can feel his body heat and hear his laugh as I come up from under.

“I can’t believe you just did that!” I yell, crossing my arms over my chest quickly.

He’s laughing hysterically, “You should’ve seen your face,” He gasps between laughs and I feel like I could just smack him.

“Shut up that was so an excuse to feel me up,” I grimace.

His laughter calms down and he’s looking at me and I feel like he’s taking in every part of my body and I want to dive under the water to hide but my feet are rooted in place.

“What is it now?” I ask, blushing like mad again.

He shakes his head quickly, “It’s nothing.”

“It sure doesn’t seem like nothing,” I tease.

“June?”

“Yeah?” I breathe, feeling like the world is going to collapse on me and I knew this was a bad idea.

“You’re beautiful,” he tells me with that intense look on his face that I love most of all.

“Really?”

“Really,” he says solemnly and wraps his arm around me.

“Even more beautiful than Jessica?” I ask with a small smile.

“Much more beautiful,” He laughs and kisses my nose.

Then I know why Kellan has always just felt right.

It’s because he is right, for me.