Learning to Love June

They have a couple name. And honestly it wasn’t even a good couple name, but it was there’s. The word spread so fast about ‘Jessry’ that it seemed like it would be on the local news. If it was even possible, Jessica was more popular than ever before, but then again she was dating the it boy.

“I mean, I knew she was popular, but Jeffery Foster? That’s crazy,” Becky was saying, her mouth agape and her eyes glazed over a bit, I had to bite back my smirk.

I sigh and shrug, “Well she is Jessica.”

“Yeah, but still,” Becky says, “I just never expected him to go for her. He’s all high and mighty.”

“He’s still a boy,” I point out and slam my locker shut, “And all boys have hormones.”

Becky goes scarlet when I say that, and this time I really do smirk, “What? You know it’s true.”

She smiles slightly and looks down at the ground, “I know, but do you think he’s really just dating her for sex?”

“Why else would he be dating her?” I say, “For her brain?”

“Maybe,” She says, but she looks defeated.

“Well maybe she’ll learn a lesson,” I say, resting my arm and Becky’s shoulders as we walk out of school, “Like about getting to know boys before you date them.”

“I don’t think you’re the one to give dating advice,” Becky almost snaps, making me recoil, stung.

I blush bright red and avert my eyes to the ground, “Shut up.” I say after a moment.

“Sorry if that was harsh,” She says, sounding guilty at her outburst.

I don’t look up from the ground though, hoping that she feels even worse. Becky was never one to play off my insecurities, but she knows as well as I do that the fact I’ve never had a real boyfriend is one of my biggest insecurities. And also the fact that Becky has had more boyfriends than me and she has a Mohawk, but I don’t tell her that.

“Look I didn’t mean it,” She says, trying to fix things.

“Then why did you say it?” I ask, trying to sound cold and biting, but end up sounding more pathetic than anything else.

“I don’t know, it just made me mad that you assume you know everything about Jessica.”

“I know more about her than you do,” I say, feeling defensive.

“Are you sure?”

“Duh, I’m her sister Jessica. You’ve said like two words to her your entire life,” I say, knowing it sounds harsher than I meant it but not really caring much.

“You think you know everything June,” Becky says, storming forward a few feet and briefly getting lost in the crowd of people.

I feel bad about what I said, but only a little. Mostly I just want to prove Becky wrong, and prove myself right. Just as I’m thinking that I see ‘Jessry’ come into view, my gaze zeroing in on them. I can’t help but feel jealous at her ability to always stand out in a crowd, her hair dancing down her back as all the eyes turn towards her. I also notice how good she and Jeffery look together, like some sort of movie couple. They look too perfect together, walking out of school laughing slightly like they don’t have a care in the world. Then behind them I see Kellan, trailing slightly without saying a word and my heart goes out to him. For always being the sibling left behind, for being like me.

Just like he can feel my eyes on him, I see his gaze flicker over to me, causing me to nearly have a heart attack. I quickly look back at the ground and try to clear my thoughts so I don’t do anything crazy or irrational that I would regret-

“June!” Jessica calls across the lobby, waving her arms around. I see people glance in my direction briefly before turning back to see what Jessica has to say.

I quickly try to make my way over to her and stop the blood rushing to color my cheeks. “What?” I ask when I get there, trying my hardest to keep my eyes off of Kellan, and praying that I keep my sanity as well.

“Do you want a ride home or not?” She asks, looking slightly annoyed which immediately makes me feel guilty.

“Yeah, I do,” I say quickly, trying to sound apologetic for no reason. It wasn’t as if she had told me that she was even offering a ride home.

She nods and wraps her arms around Jeffery before continuing to the school doors. I follow them silently, wondering briefly if I look like Kellan does whenever I see him in the hallways. I also hope that I don’t. And then I realize that this is the closets I’ve ever stood to Jeffery, so close I can feel the body heat coming off of him and it makes the hairs on my arms stick up. I shoot a glance at Jessica and wonder how she can be so calm around him.

When we get outside the air has warmed up from that morning, making me feel warm from the inside out. For the first time I allow myself to glance at Kellan, and when I do I see that he’s looking at me, too. Immediately fireworks shoot off in my stomach, but I tell myself it’s because he’s creeping me out. I can’t help but notice that his eyes are even prettier form this close, like they’re speckled with green and blue and it makes my stomach smile. Then I notice that he still hasn’t looked away even though we’re just basically staring at each other. For a brief moment I wonder what he sees when he looks at me, does he think my eyes are pretty like grass or does he think that Jessica outshines me in every way. And I actually care about the answer, and hope that it’s the first one.

“Get in the back June,” Jessica orders when we get to the car, and I do without any argument, not wanting her to have any reason to dislike me.

Kellan climbs in the car after me, and I can feel his eyes on me as I fumble with my seatbelt and I try not to blush even though I’m more embarrassed than I’ve ever been. I can’t help but notice how Jessica slides into the car with ease and doesn’t have any trouble at all with something as stupid as a seatbelt.

When he gets into the car, Jeffery leans over and plants a kiss on Jessica’s cheek, and I can’t help but wish that it was my cheek he was kissing, and not my perfect sister’s. As she smiles back at him and backs out of her parking space-not even bothering to check for other cars-and onto the road, I’m overwhelmed by the thought that being perfect isn’t something Jessica even tries at. It was like she was born with some gene that only the pretty and perfect people of the world ever get and the rest of us just sit around and wonder why.

As she turns on the radio I look down and notice that Kellan’s hand is so close to mine that if I moved two inches we’d be touching. For some reason that thought sends little eruptions off in the pit of my stomach and makes my body tingle with anticipation even though I know nothing is going to happen. At least not with Kellan Foster.

“Kellan?” Jeffery says from the front seat, snapping me back to reality. I automatically look up at Kellan and notice that he’s still looking at me, his eyebrows crinkled slightly like he’s looking at a complicated math problem. The way he’s doing that sends me into another fit of embarrassment and I fight the urge to touch my face or check to see if there’s anything on it.

“Yeah?” Kellan finally says, his voice floating over the air like some sort of music, and it’s deeper than I expected it to be, almost husky.

Then I have to remind myself that there is nothing husky about Kellan Foster, except for the fact that his hair looks a little bit like a dog’s sometimes. He looks like one of those pure little angles you see in religious paintings. Whereas Jeffery looks like some sort of sexy Greek god carved from marble, and I wonder if Kellan will ever look like Jeffery does.

“Do you know what time mom expects us home?” Jeffery asks, looking at him in the rearview mirror. I notice that his eyes are darker than Kellan’s, and not as gold, and for some reason that makes him less attractive.

“No,” Kellan says in a bored voice, “I didn’t bother to ask.”

“Of course you didn’t,” Jeffery grumbles, and Jessica sets a hand lightly on his arm. When she does I see him visibly relax and I can’t help but be jealous of her once again.

Kellan simply shrugs and turns his eyes back to me again, like he just can’t stop looking at me. The thought sends heat running through my body like when sun hits it and I fight the urge to smile at him. Instead I look down at the floor so I don’t do anything stupid again.

Jessica drives over a bump then and I get thrown a little bit so when I steady myself again my hand is resting on top of Kellan’s. At first I notice how it feels like some sort of electricity is running through my hand, and then I notice how if he turned his hand over mine would fit perfectly in his palm, like they were both carved for each other, and then I quickly move my hand off of his so I stop thinking these thoughts.

“Sorry,” I say softly and try not to reach out and touch him again. Just the thought of me wanting to touch him again scares me.

Kellan Foster scares me.