Live For the Sake Of Living

"Okay, now put the car in reverse and ease your way back until the front tire is lined up with the back tire of that car, and then crank in the turn," Brian said as I sat next to a car that was parked on the side of the road. He was teaching me how to parallel park, and I hadn't been doing very well in the driveway when we used garbage cans instead of cars.

A lot had happened since I got clean. Firstly, I gained back all the weight I dropped when I was on heroin, so I actually looked like a normal healthy person, and got all the color back in my face. Then, Brian took me to go get my permit shortly after I got my car. He was now spending a lot of time teaching me to drive when he wasn't busy helping Michelle with the wedding plans.

That's right: They were finally gonna tie the knot. They probably would have done it sooner if I hadn't come into the picture, but there's nothing we can do about that. It was now the end of summer, so they were planning for something that was almost a year away, but Michelle was one of those people who didn't like waiting around until the last minute.

She and I had gotten a lot closer over the spring and summer and she was now practically my mother; at any rate she was a better mother-figure to me than my own mother.

My seventeenth birthday was coming up at the end of August, which was only a few weeks' time away. I would be going back to school in the fall and I would be stuck taking 11th grade over again since I hadn't even really finished the year off, due to the trouble I got myself into. I was happy now that I had a place where I felt I really belonged, a place I could call my own.

I put the car in reverse and slowly eased it back until the tires aligned like Brian had said, and then slowed down and cranked the wheel hard to the right.

"Alright, good. Now slowly straighten the car out and don't hit the bumper of the car or we're in deep shit," he then advised, adding in a laugh.

I straightened the wheel out and eased my car in behind the one in front of me and then parked the car. Brian opened his door and leaned his head out, seeing how close I was to the curb.

"Awesome job, Charlie. That was pretty much perfect," he smiled at me. I smiled back and backed the car up so I could pull back out onto the street.

"Okay, up here I want you to make a left," Brian said and I turned my signal on before stopping at the intersection. When it was clear, I took the left turn and kept going down the street until he told me to make a right, followed by another right a couple minutes after that. I didn't know where he was instructing me to go and I was now in a part of Huntington I wasn't familiar with. I didn't question him, but just went where he told me to.

After a couple more turns here and there, we were in these really nice suburbs.

"Okay, pull into the driveway on the right in front of that light blue house," my dad said, and I did as I was told. I put the car in park in the driveway.

"Where are we?" I asked as I looked at the house.

"Well... this is where my dad lives. And my step mom and my sister," he replied.

"Did they know we were coming?" I asked.

"Yep. And they know all about what happened and stuff. They said they wanted to meet you."

"...I didn't know you had a sister," I said, trying to change the subject.

"Yeah... she was born about a year before you were, when I was 16. She's going off to college this year."

"Oh," was all I said and I nodded, just staring at the house in front of me.

"You ready to go in?" Brian asked from beside me.

"Um... yeah, sure," I said quietly and shut off the car. I followed Brian up to the front door, where he didn't even bother to knock.

"Pop?" Brian called into the house.

I could hear footsteps coming closer to us through the house until a man entered the room. He had greying hair and looking very much like my father did. He stopped in his trackes and looked me over.

"Is that her?" he asked Brian. His voice even sounded like my father's.

"Yeah. Pop, this Charlotte. Charlotte, this is my father, Brian Sr."

"Just call me Papa Gates," Brian Sr. said with a kind smile. I just nodded. I felt really awkward being there.

Soon, a woman came into the room as well. "Hey Suzy," Brian said, and he went over to give her a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

"You must be Charlotte," she smiled. "I'm Suzy." All I could do was nod again. "Oh, I should probably get McKenna down here," she said and then went to the bottom of the stairs. "McKenna!" she shouted. "Your brother is here!"

I heard the sounds of someone running down the stairs before a whirl of colors rushed across the room. "Brian!" the girl squealed, and she jumped on him, giving him a huge hug.

"How you been?" Brian asked as they were still embraced.

"Good. 'Cept Mom and Dad keep nagging me about packing and I dont leave for another three weeks," she left, and the four of them laughed quietly. Brian and McKenna let go of each other and as soon as they did, McKenna looked at me. The smiled was wiped completely off her face.

"....Hi," I said quietly. She sneered in reply.

"Why is she here?" she asked quietly through gritted teeth as she turned back to my father.

"McKenna," Papa Gates said in a warning tone.

"No... I wanna know why."

"Because, she's ever bit a part of this family as you are," Brian said.

"No... she's not," McKenna spat, looking straight at me.

"That's a rude thing to say. I want you to apologize to Charlotte for that," Suzy said to her daughter.

"No. I won't," McKenna replied, shaking her head and crossing her arms.

"It's alright," I spoke up quietly. "Dad, I'm gonna go out to the car." I turned and started to head back out the door we had come in.

"Dad! She called you Dad!" I heard McKenna say, as if she were mocking me.

"Charlie, wait..." Brian said as she came after me, right as my foot was out the door. He caught me by the arm and gently pulled me toward him.

"Dad... please. I feel really awkward here," I pleaded quietly as I looked up at him. He sighed.

"We're gonna be right back," he said to Papa, Suzy, and McKenna before he came out and shut the door behind us.

"What's up?" he asked as he pulled me aside.

"I don't know, I just... this is really weird and your sister isn't helping much," I mumbled as I looked down at the ground.

"Listen, Charlie... McKenna is just really uncertain about you. She doesn't like new people coming in and trying to change things too much. Once she sees your'e not a bad kid, she'll be nicer."

"That's the thing Dad... to her, I'll always be the bad kid who shows up at school high every day. She knows me from school last year."

Brian sighed. "Can you do this, please, for me?" he asked.

I nodded slowly. "Okay."

He smiled. "Good. Come on," he said as he took my hand and pulled me back inside. From the look of it, McKenna was being scolded for being a bitch while we were outside.

She looked at me again with eyes full of hatred and I saw Papa Gates albow her. "Ow damnit..." she hissed, rubbing her side before she glared at Papa. She looked at me again and rolled her eyes before mumbling a barely audible "I'm sorry".

"Pop... Suzy... can I talk to you in the other room?" Brian asked. I looked at him with wide eyes as he stood next to me. He caught my gaze and leaned down to my ear. "It'll be alright... Promise," he whispered before kissing the top of my head and walking out of the room with Papa and Suzy.

As soon as they were out of ear-shot, McKenna came closer to me.

"I know what you are... I've heard all about you at school. About those loser druggies you hang with. I just want you to know that I don't like you, and I don't care if you're a part of this family or not. Nothing will change what I think of you... You know what? I bet your mom's a whore and you're really not my brother's kid like he thinks you are," she spat in my face. She was a good two inches taller than me and she was trying to use that to intimidate me even further.

"You know what? My mom is a whore, and I hate her. But my dad is the best thing that has ever happened to me. Believe what you want, but I'm not like that anymore. I don't run with that crowd anymore either," I sneered back at her with gritted teeth.

"Oh really?" she asked as she gripped my arm, pulling up the sleeve. She looked at the needle scars and scoffed. "I don't even know why my brother took you in in the first place. I heard all about your escapades when you were there and how burdened Brian was trying to take care of you. He should have left you to die."

"DON'T FUCKING RUN YOUR MOUTH AT ME! I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU THINK OF THE SHIT I'VE BEEN THROUGH! I'M GRATEFUL FOR EVERY FUCKING THING BRIAN HAS DONE FOR ME, SO SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH!" I screamed at her, my eyes burning with hot tears. Before I could hold myself back, I pulled back my left arm, balled my fist, and decked her as hard as I could right in the eye. Ironically it was at the exact same time that Brian, Papa, and Suzy came running in after hearing my screaming.

"Hey!" Brian shouted as he rushed over and pulled me away. He dragged me back outside. "What the HELL is going on?" he said, holding my arms firmly at my sides.

I sniffled as the tears poured down my cheeks. Never, in my entire life, had anyone every said something so harsh that it made me cry. "I told you I should have gone back to the car... She just wouldn't shut up."

"What'd she say to you?" he asked as his voice softened.

"She... she said I probably wasn't even your kid.... That i was only a burden to you and that you should have just let me die..." I mumbled. I looked up at him and his face softened too.

"She said that to you?" he asked quietly, and I nodded as a new wave of tears came.

Brian pulled me into his chest. "Shhh... Charlie, baby, I would never do that to you. It's alright... I love you too much to do that," he said as he just held me to him.

I sniffled again as I hugged him back around the waist. "I love you too Dad..."

"Here... you go wait in the car, and I'll go in there and have a talk with McKenna, and then we'll head home, okay?" Brian asked as he pulled away from me. I nodded and sat in the car as he went back inside.