Go Around

“Lisa, come on! You know that it meant more than you’re saying it was,” Jack was in Lisa’s bedroom with her while her back was turned towards him, facing the window with her arms crossed across her chest.
“Jack,” she said as she turned around slowly, “you’re taking this a lot harder than you ought to be,” she told him, sitting on her window sill.
“No, I’m not. I know that you felt it, too,” he told her, knowing what he felt while they were having sex.
“I didn’t feel a thing – hell, I don’t even remember having sex with you, Jack so how could I have possibly felt something if I don’t remember?” she asked, keeping an even temper.
Jack didn’t know what to say. He knew in his heart of hearts that she loved him and that she was just dating Alex because he was Alex and he was the charmer with the good looks whereas Jack was the goofball who only god laid because girls were drunk, not because they were actually emotionally invested in him like they were with Alex.
“I know that I’m not Alex, but I love you so much more than he does or ever will,” Jack told her, rushing up to be in front of her.
“That’s not true,” she insisted while she pulled her arm away from him when he tried to touch it, “the only reason you’re saying it is because when we had sex last night you got emotionally invested whereas I did not,” she snapped at him in a sharp tone.
He pulled away from her and just stood and stared at her. He wasn’t sure why he loved her, but was love ever clear headed? Love didn’t always have to make sense, did it? It’s just what the heart felt.
Jack never understood what the hell Alex went on about the prior year when he would talk to him about how much he loved Kennedy, but now that he, Jack, was in love with Lisa it all made perfect sense.
As much as Jack didn’t want to say it, he did. “You know what, Lisa? I think that you don’t know what or who the hell you want and I don’t think you will until Alex completely fucks you over like he has every single one of his other girlfriends. I’m sorry to have to say this, but you really don’t even understand him at all,” he told her, all the while backing away from her towards the door.
“He hasn’t completely fucked over all of his girlfriends,” she defended him even though she knew absolutely nothing. It surprised Jack that that was the only thing she said, she didn’t say anything about her and him or anything, all she cared about was her and Alex.
“Really? And you know this how?” he asked, placing his hand on the door knob of her door, getting ready to open it so he could make his dramatic exit.
“Well, according to you he never fucked over Kennedy, she fucked over him,” she said and after she had stated point she felt very proud of herself and flipped her brown, loose curls behind her shoulders.
Jack let out a smug smile, “I shouldn’t have led you to believe that Kennedy and Alex’s relationship was something it wasn’t. Even though they were in love, they definitely had their… problems. Not little problems, huge problems, but they still loved each other and fought for each other every single day,” he told her.
“Exactly. He. Didn’t. Fuck. Her. Over,” Lisa said each word slowly.
“The difference is, is that you, Lisa, are not Alex’s first love – far from it actually. He will always love Kennedy first and foremost no matter how hard you try to deny that,” Jack knew what he said was hurting Lisa, but at the time he didn’t care. All he wanted her to do was be put through the pain that she had just put him through.
Jack turned to leave, but Lisa yelled out to him in a shaky, sad voice. “Jack?” she asked.
Jack turned around slowly, but not all the way, “What?” he asked, and her eyes were filled with sadness and she looked absolutely devastated.
“You don’t really think that Alex still loves her, do you?” she asked.
For a second, Jack felt guilty, but then she asked that question and all that guilt went away because he was so absolutely disgusted with her that he thought that she deserved what she got.
“I think he’ll always love her,” he told her then turned and left. Even though he wanted her to suffer, he had decided not to tell her that Alex was cheating on her with Kennedy because it would hurt Alex and Kennedy more than it would hurt Lisa. He’d just reconciled with Kennedy and he would do everything in his power to protect her because it was never her that he’d really been mad at in the first place.
As he walked down the street, back to his house, he smiled to himself. He realized that he had never really been in love with Lisa, but rather just very enamored by her. He found it amusing now, as he would have if he’d never thought Lisa was beautiful, that she was the only person who didn’t know about the fact that Alex was cheating on her. Everybody in their group knew because, even though Alex, Kennedy, and Jack hadn’t told Rian or Zack, they still caught on and they’d talked to jack about it but he hadn’t confirmed or denied anything.