Sequel: Now I'm Haunted ›
Status: Working on it.
How to Save a Life While Messing With Fate...
Ch.14
STACI’S POV
As we walked in I heard people start to whisper and stare at Nick very strangely. I glanced up at him to see he was just a curious as me. Before I could say a word to him, I was pulled into a tight hug causing Nick’s hand to be ripped away from mine.
“Oh Staci thanks for coming honey!”- Erin’s mom Katie cried.
“I wouldn’t miss it, how are you?’- I asked as she released me.
“I’m getting better; I just can’t believe my baby girl is gone!”- She said trying to hold in her tears as she glanced over to awkward Nick.
“I know, I know. I honestly can’t believe I’ll never see her again…oh Katie this is my friend Nick.”- I said as Nick reached out his hand.
“I’m so sorry for your loss, I’m also sorry for coming uninvited.”- He said shyly as he shook her shaky hand.
“Thank you, and it’s no problem. Any friend of Staci’s is fine in my book.”- She smiled slightly. We stood there in silence for a minute until…
“You’re the guy!!”- Erin’s annoying cousin Jamie said shockingly as she ran up to us.
“Excuse me?”- Nick furrowed his brows.
“From the paper the day after Erin died!”- She said as we all gave her a confused look.
“What are you talking about!?”- I asked starting to worry.
“OMG Staci where you the person in the background?”
“We seriously have no idea what you are talking about.”- Nick stated.
“You’re the one who was on the edge of the bridge! Your hair gives it away, and Staci you look like the shadowed person running toward him in the background! Did you save him, why where you up there?” - She stated too fast for it to completely process in my mind. Nick looked at me sadly then at her, not knowing what to say. Both of us were lost for words, maybe I shouldn’t have been so cut off from the world! I mean if I got the paper I could have shielded Nick from the pain of reliving that day. Now the whole population of Chicago knows what happened! This is just umm…awkward…
“When do I make my speech?”- I asked randomly trying to breaking the silence. Poor Nick looked so ashamed and embarrassed to be here, but no one understands what really happened.
“In a few minutes…”- Erin’s mom said still confused.
“Well what was going on? I may not have seen you faces straight on but I know it was you two in the picture!”- Jamie said again.
“Come on Jamie, obviously they don’t want to talk about what happened or didn’t happened!”- Katie stated as she pulled Jamie away.
“Nick I’m so sorry.”- I said quietly as he stared at the floor.
“Don’t be, I’m just gong to sit in the back while you make your speech.”- He said monotone. I get why he’s upset, I mean everyone basically knows he wanted to kill himself and that someone saved him, which they think is me! Nick probably feels even more weak and worthless now then he did that day. He started to turn away before I shocked myself and grabbed his arm and turn him around to where his body was an inch away from mine.
“Nick look at me please.”- I said nicely as I took his hands. He looked down at me and looked like he was going to break. “Look things happen for a reason, so please don’t get upset about some people recognizing you. You are such an amazing person, you had a misjudgment that day so don’t be too hard on yourself.”
“I guess your right, I’m still so grateful that you were there.”- He whispered.
“I am too, I’m not only glad I saved you. I’m also glad and grateful that you’re in my life now.”- I said getting a small smirk out of him. “Just go sit; I’m going to see her then make my speech.”- I said kissing his cheek feeling tears start to come into my eyes as the knot in my stomach grew larger.
“If you need me, just find me ok?”
“Thanks and ditto.”- I said turning around to go see my deceased best friend.
As I walked closer to the open coffin I had to constantly swallow a huge lump in my throat. I still feel like maybe I should’ve tried to save her, but then I wouldn’t have Nick and I could’ve died from trying to save her from a gang…well that wouldn’t have been so bad, at least no one else would suffer ever again. As soon as I was two feet away from the coffin my feet stop, they refused to move forward. Thoughts of what she might look like wouldn’t leave my stressed mind. She might have bruises and scars from the robbery, she’s probably lost all her color, and she’s going to be ice cold…maybe it’s best if I remember her the way she was, but I should at least show her respect by seeing her.
I swallowed once more and forced my short legs to take two big steps forward as I closed my eyes. I took as long deep breath, opened my eyes, and looked at her. She actually looked peaceful, but I couldn’t help but sob. Nothing can make any of this easier; I should’ve seen her after my speech. Apparently when I cry I forget how to breathe, I gasped for air as I gripped the sides of the coffin. I closed my eyes trying to imagine a life without my BFF! That just made me cry more, and I can’t rely on Nick…he could be in the same situation in a short amount of time and all due to ME! I closed my eyes trying to forget all the thoughts, but more and more guilt and worry found me.
“Are you ok Staci?”- Nick asked as I felt his arm wrap my waist for support. He must have noticed I was struggling.
“I can’t do this.” - I choked out as I fell into his arms releasing my grip on her coffin.
“Honey are you ok?”- Erin’s mom asked. I shook my head no as I clung to Nick. God I can’t even be strong for her, some best friend I am.
“Well I can read your speech for you; I know it’s hard to see her like that.”- Erin’s brother offered as he realized how upset I was.
“Thanks Jayden.”- I said quietly as I handed him my speech.
“No problem, even though she was always at your place we still considered you to be family. Just go sit, I know she understands that your upset. She would be happy that your just here and that you have whoever is holding on to you here for you.”- He said sweetly; for being younger then us he’s handling this well.
“I’m her…friend Nick.”- He introduced himself.
“Hey, thanks for being here but you can just take Staci to a seat. This has been so difficult for all of us.” -Jayden said. Nick escorted me to a seat and held me as I listened to someone else say my speech.
“Shh, it’s ok baby. She wouldn’t blame you.”- He comforted as if he knew what I was thinking about…but I probably will always feel the guilt from all the ones I have lost. Even though I feel completely safe with Nick I still have the doubt that he’s not safe being with me, and the funny thing is that he doesn’t care that he’s not safe while being with me...he must think I’m worth the risk.
As we walked in I heard people start to whisper and stare at Nick very strangely. I glanced up at him to see he was just a curious as me. Before I could say a word to him, I was pulled into a tight hug causing Nick’s hand to be ripped away from mine.
“Oh Staci thanks for coming honey!”- Erin’s mom Katie cried.
“I wouldn’t miss it, how are you?’- I asked as she released me.
“I’m getting better; I just can’t believe my baby girl is gone!”- She said trying to hold in her tears as she glanced over to awkward Nick.
“I know, I know. I honestly can’t believe I’ll never see her again…oh Katie this is my friend Nick.”- I said as Nick reached out his hand.
“I’m so sorry for your loss, I’m also sorry for coming uninvited.”- He said shyly as he shook her shaky hand.
“Thank you, and it’s no problem. Any friend of Staci’s is fine in my book.”- She smiled slightly. We stood there in silence for a minute until…
“You’re the guy!!”- Erin’s annoying cousin Jamie said shockingly as she ran up to us.
“Excuse me?”- Nick furrowed his brows.
“From the paper the day after Erin died!”- She said as we all gave her a confused look.
“What are you talking about!?”- I asked starting to worry.
“OMG Staci where you the person in the background?”
“We seriously have no idea what you are talking about.”- Nick stated.
“You’re the one who was on the edge of the bridge! Your hair gives it away, and Staci you look like the shadowed person running toward him in the background! Did you save him, why where you up there?” - She stated too fast for it to completely process in my mind. Nick looked at me sadly then at her, not knowing what to say. Both of us were lost for words, maybe I shouldn’t have been so cut off from the world! I mean if I got the paper I could have shielded Nick from the pain of reliving that day. Now the whole population of Chicago knows what happened! This is just umm…awkward…
“When do I make my speech?”- I asked randomly trying to breaking the silence. Poor Nick looked so ashamed and embarrassed to be here, but no one understands what really happened.
“In a few minutes…”- Erin’s mom said still confused.
“Well what was going on? I may not have seen you faces straight on but I know it was you two in the picture!”- Jamie said again.
“Come on Jamie, obviously they don’t want to talk about what happened or didn’t happened!”- Katie stated as she pulled Jamie away.
“Nick I’m so sorry.”- I said quietly as he stared at the floor.
“Don’t be, I’m just gong to sit in the back while you make your speech.”- He said monotone. I get why he’s upset, I mean everyone basically knows he wanted to kill himself and that someone saved him, which they think is me! Nick probably feels even more weak and worthless now then he did that day. He started to turn away before I shocked myself and grabbed his arm and turn him around to where his body was an inch away from mine.
“Nick look at me please.”- I said nicely as I took his hands. He looked down at me and looked like he was going to break. “Look things happen for a reason, so please don’t get upset about some people recognizing you. You are such an amazing person, you had a misjudgment that day so don’t be too hard on yourself.”
“I guess your right, I’m still so grateful that you were there.”- He whispered.
“I am too, I’m not only glad I saved you. I’m also glad and grateful that you’re in my life now.”- I said getting a small smirk out of him. “Just go sit; I’m going to see her then make my speech.”- I said kissing his cheek feeling tears start to come into my eyes as the knot in my stomach grew larger.
“If you need me, just find me ok?”
“Thanks and ditto.”- I said turning around to go see my deceased best friend.
As I walked closer to the open coffin I had to constantly swallow a huge lump in my throat. I still feel like maybe I should’ve tried to save her, but then I wouldn’t have Nick and I could’ve died from trying to save her from a gang…well that wouldn’t have been so bad, at least no one else would suffer ever again. As soon as I was two feet away from the coffin my feet stop, they refused to move forward. Thoughts of what she might look like wouldn’t leave my stressed mind. She might have bruises and scars from the robbery, she’s probably lost all her color, and she’s going to be ice cold…maybe it’s best if I remember her the way she was, but I should at least show her respect by seeing her.
I swallowed once more and forced my short legs to take two big steps forward as I closed my eyes. I took as long deep breath, opened my eyes, and looked at her. She actually looked peaceful, but I couldn’t help but sob. Nothing can make any of this easier; I should’ve seen her after my speech. Apparently when I cry I forget how to breathe, I gasped for air as I gripped the sides of the coffin. I closed my eyes trying to imagine a life without my BFF! That just made me cry more, and I can’t rely on Nick…he could be in the same situation in a short amount of time and all due to ME! I closed my eyes trying to forget all the thoughts, but more and more guilt and worry found me.
“Are you ok Staci?”- Nick asked as I felt his arm wrap my waist for support. He must have noticed I was struggling.
“I can’t do this.” - I choked out as I fell into his arms releasing my grip on her coffin.
“Honey are you ok?”- Erin’s mom asked. I shook my head no as I clung to Nick. God I can’t even be strong for her, some best friend I am.
“Well I can read your speech for you; I know it’s hard to see her like that.”- Erin’s brother offered as he realized how upset I was.
“Thanks Jayden.”- I said quietly as I handed him my speech.
“No problem, even though she was always at your place we still considered you to be family. Just go sit, I know she understands that your upset. She would be happy that your just here and that you have whoever is holding on to you here for you.”- He said sweetly; for being younger then us he’s handling this well.
“I’m her…friend Nick.”- He introduced himself.
“Hey, thanks for being here but you can just take Staci to a seat. This has been so difficult for all of us.” -Jayden said. Nick escorted me to a seat and held me as I listened to someone else say my speech.
“Shh, it’s ok baby. She wouldn’t blame you.”- He comforted as if he knew what I was thinking about…but I probably will always feel the guilt from all the ones I have lost. Even though I feel completely safe with Nick I still have the doubt that he’s not safe being with me, and the funny thing is that he doesn’t care that he’s not safe while being with me...he must think I’m worth the risk.