Sequel: Milestones: Commitment ›
Milestones: Teenagers
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Once Brian and I were no longer in a relationship I realized how pathetic I was, because I had so centered my life around him in that short amount of time that I didn't really know what to do with myself without him.
I was hurt that we had broken up, even tough I was the one who had officially done it to begin with. But Brian hadwanted to, and that was what really hit me. He wanted to go back to how it was in high school with that stop game. Sure I knew it'd be hard for us to be apart when he was on your, but I couldn't see how it was any different than the entire first semester that we had experienced the same thing.
I did feel some regret for breaking it off with Brian, but I didn't want to keep playing those games. I just wanted to be with him, and if he didn't want to be with me, then I guess there was really no way around it. That was just the way it was going to have to be.
With the kickoff of the tour and my return to college for the spring semester inching nearer and nearer, the boys decided that it was a must for them to throw a party. They had said itneeded to be before I went back to college so I could join them, so they picked a Wednesday night, at Matt's house - a week before their first show.
Of course I had to go. I didn't want to because I didn't want to face Brian, but I couldn't let our drama come between me wishing the best for the other guys on their endeavors. That and, if I protested to going, Val would ask why and then drag me with her anyway, and I hadn't exactly told her that Brian and I were split. I don't think it was because I didn't want her to know. It was that I didn't want her to confront Brian and make a scene of it in front of anyone. She had a tendency to blow things out of proportions and make scenes, and I just didn't want her to do that.
So, I sucked it up and got ready for the farewell bash, deciding that I would just avoid Brian as much as I could for the night, or at least be civil if the occasion called for it and hope he would do the same to me.
Walking up to Matt's house, Val didn't even bother to knock before entering - given that she practically lived there when she wasn't at home, she didn't really have a reason to anyway. Once we were inside I realized that the music would have been too loud for anyone to get the door as well.
Apart from just our usual gang, the guys had invited some friends from school, along with a few closer friends like Jason and Matt Berry, and Matt's friend Cam who I didn't really know much of. It wasn't a full blown party where the house was completely packed, but there were enough people there to make it interesting.
"Do you know if Sarah's here?" I asked Val as we grabbed a few beers and headed to the living room where half the people were congregated, the other half either spread amongst the kitchen or the back yard.
"I would assume she would be if Zack's here, which hebetter be," Val replied, a hint of a threat at Zack sounding toward the end.
"Well I guess you're going to go find Matt because you can't breathe without him, so I'll go search for her," I said, starting to look around for Sarah's face in the crowd inside. As some people began to shift I locked eyes with Brian, who was on the other side of the room, and then started to head outside. I felt a tog on my arm, and knew it was Val because there was no way Brian would have been able to move through those people so quickly.
"Aren't you going to go see Brian?" my sister asked curiously.
"I'll see him eventually. Besides, I haven't seen Sarah in awhile, so I want to say hi," I said, shrugging her off and escaping into the crowd in the back yard before Brian tried to come and talk to me.
I never actually found Sarah, as she was not at Matt's for some unknown reason, and when I tried to ask Zack where she was, he was already too drunk to make a coherent sentence, so I was going to have to suffer.
I had already knocked back a few drinks and was feeling the buzz, but I really just waned something that would take the edge off my anxiety. I'd had a few near run-ins with Brian, and I could tell he really wanted to talk to me, but I didn't want to so much as look at him the more alcohol I pumped into my system.
My sister, on the other hand, had drunk more than she really should have and was completely drunk off her ass.
I decided to take a breather on the couch in the living room, wanting to really just be alone, but as my sister plopped down on the seat next to me, I realized I wasn't going to get that.
"Hey," she drawled out, putting her arm around my shoulders.
"Hi," I said unenthusiastically as I picked at the label on the beer bottle in my hands.
"Okay so... there's something obviously going on because you haven't said a single word to Brian all night. It's like you two aren't even dating now," Val said, a stupid drunken smile plastered on her lips. But when I just looked at her and didn't say a word, she seemed to realize she'd answered her own question. "Wait... wait," she said, squinting her eyes as she tried to get serious. "...Brian broke up with you?"
"Val-"
"No, come with me. We're going to go set that boy straight. Nobody messes with my sister," Val growled, grabbing my hand and standing, stumbling slightly as she tried pulling me up as well. When I got to my feet, Val dragged me out of the house and into the back yard, where I could clearly see Brian talking and having a good time with his friends.
He glanced at us briefly before we reached him, and then Val let go of my hand and tried to shove him back, glaring daggers at Brian.
"What the hell, Val?" he asked, not having a single clue.
"Don't you 'what the hell' me, mister! Why are you being such a dick?"
"Uh... Matt, I think your girl here has had a little too much to drink," Brian said, chuckling uneasily as he glanced at Matt, who seemed quite confused.
"Really? Cuz I think you're an asshole. You shouldn't mess with good people like my sister. You shouldn't hurt them, Brian," Val seethed. "You broke up with Michelle, and she's done nothing but mope around and been miserable about it for days."
Upon hearing what she said, I sighed, putting my face in my hands and wishing she hadn't said that because I didn't want Brian I know how hurt I was. I looked back up when he started to speak.
"Val, what the hell are you talking about? Your sister broke up withme, not the other way around, so don't go thinking she's the only one who got hurt," he said, glancing at me at the end.
Val made an attempt to advance on Brian, who stepped back because there was no telling what she might do in her drunken state.
"Alright babe, I think maybe you should go lay down," Matt said, finally stepping in and taking Val away, who didn't really put up much of a fight. Once she was gone there was a very awkward silence between Brian and I, and he just stood there, staring at me, fuming.
"So you go and tell some bullshit sob story to your sister on how I broke your damn heart?" he growled, and I shifted my weight to the other foot awkwardly.
"Bri, I never said who broke up with whom, I just said that we weren't together and she took it the wrong way and stormed out here after you," I explained.
"Oh, I see, because since I'm the guys in the relationship, everything's automatically my fault," he spat, and I winced at the venom in his words. "You're the one who's brought this on yourself. We could still be together but you had to go and be irrational about it."
"It's not entirely my fault consideringyou're the one who wanted to break up so you could fuck other girls," I shot back, heating up with anger. People around us were starting to quiet down, watching what was happening closely.
"Well maybe next time you'll let me actually finish a goddamn sentence so you could hear exactly where I was coming from," he said, and then pushed his way past me, storming off into the house.
The night continued to drag on, and when Brian stormed off, it was the last I saw of him. At first I was fine with it, thinking that he could go be by himself and sulk if he was going to have a pissy attitude. But as the hours went by and I hadn't seen him even once, I got worried. With the relatively small sized group of people at this party, I should have at least seen him once in a passing glance, or accidentally bumped into him, but I didn't. No one else had seen him since the fight we had, either.
Then there was the quick idea that maybe he'd gone home, but his car was still parked outside Matt's house, and Matt himself even said that the guys were going to crash there that night anyway.
Truth be told, I not only felt worried, but I felt guilty. I didn't want to fight with Brian - I at least wanted his friendship if nothing else, and I wanted to apologize to him for my actions, and for Val's as well.
Giving up on scanning the living room and back yard, I headed up to the bathroom to relieve myself. The door was shut but the light was on, so I figured someone was already in there, and waited a couple minutes. When no one emerged, I stepped forward and knocked on the door.
"Hello?" I called, and when I knocked, the door pushed open a bit, as it hadn't been latched shut. Pushing the door open further, I felt the breath escape my lungs and my stomach dropped quickly, my hands shooting up to cover my mouth as my eyes were the size of saucers.
"Oh my God... Brian!?" I near screamed, quickly entering the bathroom. There he was, sprawled out on the bathroom floor with an almost empty bottle of whiskey in hand. His eyes were closed and he wasn't moving, so I assumed the worst.
"Brian..." I called, getting on my knees next to his body. "Brian, sweetie, please wake up," I said again, my voice wavering as I tried to shake him awake, but he didn't respond, and the thought that he might actually be dead crossed my mind, making my eyes well up with tears.
"Please, you gotta get up," I pleaded to his lifeless form, and then pressed my ear to his chest, listening for his heart. The beat was deathly slow and shallow, but I hoped it was enough.
Scrambling to my feet, I raced out the door and to the top of the stairs, which overlooked the living room below.
"Somebody call 911!"
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Muahahah.. so that's where I shall leave you all for the night. I'm off to bed cuz it's been hard to keep my eyes open as I typed this up, which is not good hahaxoxo Hope you all enjoyed :)