Sequel: Milestones: Commitment ›
Milestones: Teenagers
Chapter Thirty
Once we had gotten to the hospital, our car following Brian's parents, who were following the ambulance, there was really nothing to do but wait. The party had cleared out, and it was just Val, Matt, Zacky, and Jimmy, Brian's mother and father, and I in the waiting room. Brian's parents had to spend a good half hour upon our arrival just filling out the paperwork, and Brian was rushed to the emergency room to get his stomach pumped.
Sitting in the waiting room, I couldn't quell the incessant shaking of my body, and Val was trying to help calm me by holding my hand tightly in hers, her thumb running lightly over my skin. I just kept replaying both the fight Brian and I had and the sight of him in the bathroom over and over in my head. He was so pale under the bright glow of the bathroom lights. I couldn't help but wonder if I had found him in time. I knew I should have searched the entire house from top to bottom. Or maybe I should have just let Brian finish his sentences and say what he wanted to say when he called me to his house that day. Maybe if I had, we wouldn't have been so angry with each other, and he wouldn't have shut himself away and drank himself nearly to death. I couldn't help but feel that this was all my fault.
Sniffling and wiping the tears away with my hands as I stood, I walked down a few chairs to where Mr. and Mrs. Haner were sat, both with worried and frightened expressions on their faces. Taking a shaky breath, I looked down at both of them.
"I'm so sorry... It's all my fault that Brian's like this. If I hadn't-" I started to apologize, but my words were strangled in my throat as a sob came out.
"Sweetie, it's not your fault. The only person who can be blamed for this is Brian, for his reckless lack of responsibility," Brian's mother said as she let go of her husband's hands and stood, pulling me into her body for a hug. I buried my head in her shoulder as sobs continued to rack my body. I was just so scared. No one heard anything from the doctors on Brian's condition, and we'd been there a little over an hour already.
"I made him so angry though," I sobbed, pulling back from Suzy. "If I had just.... I'm so stupid. I should have just listened to him and not just blown everything up, and he wouldn't have gone and drank so much."
"Ssshh, sweetie. Everything's going to be okay, it's not your fault. Brian can be very stubborn sometimes, and reckless others. But I promise you everything's going to be alright. Brian's tough as nails, he'll be just fine," Suzy said, wiping my tears away, but the look on her face showed me that she was trying to convince herself just as much as she was trying to convince me.
Sniffling again and nodding at her words, I took a seat, getting ready to wait even longer. The fact that it seemed to be taking so long to hear from the doctors was only further making me believe that thingsweren't okay with Brian.
Matt was sat on my other side, and he could sense what I was going through.
"Come here, babe," he whispered, pulling his arm around me and hugging me as best he could. He was always so comforting, just like a big brother. "He'll be alright," he whispered, kissing my temple as he repeated the words Suzy had just spoken.
No sooner had he said that, than a doctor came walking through the waiting room, a clipboard in hand.
"You're all here for a... Brian Haner, Jr.?" he questioned, seeing our considerably large group.
"Yes. Is he okay?" Brian Sr. asked, standing up with Suzy, his arm around her as the doctor advanced to him.
"We were able to pump his stomach in enough time that he'll be alright. He's in a coma at the moment," the doctor said, and my heart pounded in my chest, "but we're not too worried. He shouldn't be out very long. Just an overload of stress and shock to his body from the amount he drank; we expect him to be waking up in a day or two. But I assure you, he'll recover just fine," the doctor further explained.
I was very confused, but relieved at the same time. The doctor had assured that Brian was going to be okay.... But how could being in a coma mean he was okay? And how could we really be sure that he was going to wake up when they thought he would? There were so many things I wanted to ask.
But for now, I would just have to be content with the answers I had and the absolute assurance that Brian was going to wake up soon and be okay.
Just like the doctors had promised, Brian woke on Friday, two days after the party, and the day before I was set to go back to college for the spring semester. His parents called me when they heard the news from the doctors, asking if I would like to go down to the hospital with them to see him, and I took up their offer and got a ride down to the hospital. Of course they went in to see him first, so I waited outside the door for the twenty minutes or so before they came back out.
"You can go in to see him. We told him you were here and wanted to talk," Brian Sr. said, and I nodded, grabbing the metal handle of the hospital door as they headed back down to the waiting room.
Taking a deep breath, I turned the handle and slowly pushed the door open, stepping into the room. Brian looked up as he saw me and our eyes locked, not a word being said as the door slowly swung shut behind me.
"Hey," he whispered, looking almost ashamed as he sat there in the hospital gown, the bed covers pulled up to his waist. His hands were fiddling in his lap, and I could tell he was nervous to see me.
"How are you feeling?" I asked, my voice stiff as I tried to swallow the lump in my throat.
"Tired, I guess," he answered, shrugging as he looked down to his hands. The silence engulfed the room again, and I was at a loss for words. I crossed my arms over my chest as I stood there uneasily, and Brian looked back up at me.
"Are you alright?" he asked hesitantly. I sighed deeply and looked around the room at anything and everything but him.
"I don't even know what to say to you," I snapped at him, though I didn't want to be a bitch.
"I'm sorry, Michelle," he said quietly, and the look in his eyes told me he was sincere. And I knew what he was referring to.
"Do you have any idea how fucking scared I was? I was the one that found you, Brian. I walked into the bathroom, and I thought you were dead because you wouldn't wake up. I cried myself to sleep the past two nights because I was angry at myself for getting you that upset, and scared because I didn't know if you were going to be okay," I said, and I could feel the tears forming in my eyes and threatening to slip down my cheeks.
"It was such a stupid thing for you to do, Brian. If you had really died, I don't know what I would have done, or what your family would have done. Did you even think ofthem, Brian?" I asked, feeling so angry and still scared because of what happened.
"...No," he replied, looking at the wall, his head turned away. "It wasn't supposed to go that far."
"I'm glad that you're awake and that you're okay, Bri, but this shit has got to stop. You're almost twenty years old - it's time you grew up and stopped acting like a fucking child with endangering yourself and with... with playing these stupid games," I spat out, quickly reaching up to wipe away the tears that were falling as I began to get frustrated. We were now back to the root of the entire problem.
"Michelle, are you going to let me speak this time?" he asked quietly, playing with a loose thread in the blanket.
"Speak all you want."
"...No interruptions?" he asked, and I sighed before nodding. He took a breath and a moment of silence before he began. "Michelle, I only wanted what I thought was best foryou. I don't know how much self restraint I have - like I said, I can't fully trust myself in certain situations. That being said, I didn't want to risk putting you through that if something were to happen because I don't think I'd be able to live with myself if I hurt you," he said, looking up into my eyes as I stood at the end of his bed.
"I still don't understand you, Brian," I replied, huffing as we just continued to go around in circles. "If you didn't want to hurt me, that should have been reason enough to keep you from eventhinking of doing anything with other girls." Slowly, I ventured my way to the side of his bed, his gaze following me. He took a deep breath, running his hands over his face as he let out a frustrated groan.
"I don't know what I was thinking or where my head was at when I said those things that day. I was scared that I was going to lose you," he mumbled.
"Brian, you never would have lost me. Things could have worked out if you hadn't let what Zacky said get to you."
"Michelle, I really don't want to go on this tour knowing that you're not mine..." He whispered bluntly, looking straight ahead before glancing at me. I didn't even know what to say at first, because he was proposing that we get back together. Sighing, I started to turn and walk across the room, turning back to him.
"Bri, what's done is done. I think... maybe you need to take some time while we're apart to really think about what you want or don't want from me, because I'm really tired of constantly playing these mind games where it's a constant love-hate thing between us. Maybe after that... We can try and work things out," I said, looking at him one last time as I slowly made my way to the door. He just nodded, not saying a word as I placed my hand on the door handle.
"Have fun on tour," I said, being sincere as I flashed him a small grin before pulling the door open and stepping out, letting it fall shut silently behind me as I headed down the hall alone.
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SO! That's the end of part one. I'll get around to working on Part Two sometime in the near future, so you guys wont have to wait too long... I want at least 5 chapters of it finished before I start posting it, so you'll just have to entertain yourselves during the wait :PThanks to everyone who's read, commented, and subscribed to this; I really appreciate it :)
xoxo Hope you enjoyed this. It's only the beginning.