Between Two Lungs

"Hi, I'm Mae."

"Hello, Mae."

"Today, I am nine months clean."

Fred went up to Mae and handed her the yellow 'Clean and Serene for Nine Months' tag that she had waited for and worked so hard to receive. The October air knocked the leaves off the tree branches outside the LESC House while the people inside applauded for Mae's accomplishment.

"Nine months ago, I was a completely different person," she said. "I was a drug user, I was vulgar, I was abrasive and I blamed all of my problems on other people. But today..." she paused. "Today I feel like I've been reborn. Because I control my own life now. I make my own decisions. I understand that I can't change my past, and now, I don't want to. Because my past helped shape who I am today and I'm proud to be able to stand here in front of all of you and say that I have no regrets."

Mae stepped down and everyone clapped for her again. She sat in her usual spot near the front of the room and watched as a lot of the regular people stood at the podium and spoke. She looked over to where Mary used to sit. She had died from that virus the doctors didn't know a lot about back in July. Mary's family had a memorial service for her and Mae was one of the ten members of the Narcotics Anonymous family to go to the visitation.

The woman who had almost died because of overdose told the group in September that she had met the love of her life; someone who gave her a high that the drugs could never have given her in a million years. Mae smiled when she heard the news. Everyone deserves someone like that.

The man with the family who did drugs together recreationally moved away in April. He ended up divorcing his wife. He told the group that he couldn't help but feel responsible for his youngest son's death and that as much as he appreciated the help that NA had to offer, he needed to see a series of psychologists and psychiatrists in North Carolina to get over the trauma.

When he added that part, all Mae could think was, Jordan and Marc's brother Eric lives in North Carolina.

People who had never spoken before went up to the podium and shared whatever it was that they had to say. Mae listened to every word, absorbed it, and understood.

At eight o'clock when the meeting ended, Mae was, as usual, the last one to leave. She said her goodbyes to Fred as he packed things away and she zipped up the front of her hoodie and walked down the block to her apartment.

She passed Gina on the street. "Hey!" she called to the frail looking woman. "How are you today?"

"Can't complain," Gina replied with a smile. "Made five dollars today. Maybe this time, I'll be the one to treat you to a coffee."

Mae chuckled. "We'll see, Gee. Have a good one."

Mae walked up the front door to her apartment and unlocked it before heading inside. She made her way up the two flights of stairs and pulled the sliding metal door open. As she entered her apartment, her cell phone buzzed in her pocket.

"Hello?"

"Hey," Jordan's voice came from the other line. "Happy nine months clean."

"Thank you," she smiled. "How are things over in Pittsburgh?"

"Can't complain, hockey season's barely started but things are going well," he commented. "I think we've recuperated pretty well from our playoff elimination last season. What are you up to right now?"

"Just working on another art project," Mae shrugged. "One that should have been finished a long time ago. What else?"

Jordan chortled. "Good point. Well, Sid's calling us for practice, so I'd better go. I'll call you later?"

"Sure," she replied. "I love you, Jordan."

"I love you too, Mae."

They both hung up and Mae went back to work. She walked over to her quote wall and examined it closely. Her eyes skimmed over the various pieces of paper, cardboard, construction paper and napkins that hung off of it. She saw Bobby Jones' quote right next to Mary's. Even though they were both gone, their words would be immortalized forever. She had since added a few other quotes, but there was still one space that was unoccupied.

Mae took out a piece of paper from her sketchbook and let her hand fly over it with a black Sharpie marker until she was satisfied. She pinned the piece of paper to the blank spot on the board and looked back at her creation with a smile. The new quote read:

No matter how alone you feel, just remember that there's someone out there who loves you.
-Jordan Staal

Mae had waited to put that quote up on the wall for nine whole months because she wanted it to be the one that was the freshest in her memory. Not only because of its message, but because Jordan was the one who said it.

He was the one who understood her for who she was and who wanted to help her when she was at her lowest. She was broken, and he helped put her back together. He loved every fragment of her, no matter how rough or damaged she may have seemed. He gave her acceptance when she felt like the world had rejected her. He had given her hope when she felt like her life was falling apart. He gave her love when she felt like she didn't deserve it.

And in the end, love was really all that she needed. That, and a little push.