Those Who Walk Beside Me

I was sitting in Jimmys room looking around as I let the tears fall. Id lost ten pounds, making me five pounds underweight. After the guys yelled at me for suggesting them to continue with the album I knew id over stayed my welcome. I sighed to myself a little as I looked at his seemingly empty room, I cared for Matt deeply but I knew Jimmy wouldn't have wanted us together so I should do what my gut instinct told me to do. Date other people but, that'd have to wait till I got over Jimmys passing. Zacky was right, I didn't even know him.

"But I wanted to..."I whispered softly as I looked at my hands.

"Kandy?"I heard a voice say, when I looked up I saw Brian in the door way. He flashed me a weak smile, I gave him the same.

"You alright?"he asked me.

"I've been asked that a lot in the past two weeks..."I laughed humorlessly.

"I know, we're all worried about you though, you're loosing weight and I know for a fact Jimmy wouldn't like that."he told me with a smirk making me sigh.

"I just - I don't have an appetite."I said shrugging, "I feel fine, healthy like always. When I'm sad, or depressed in this case both I tend to loose weight is all."I said to him lightly as I played with the sheet on the bed with my finger tips.

"That's not good, Kandy...Matt is really worried about you. I can tell he cares for you like he's never cared about anyone else. Even Val..."he said to me quietly.

"Who is Val?"I asked lightly as I looked at him curiously, envy flooded my veins at the thought of another girl luck enough to be wrapped in his colorful buff arms.

"His ex, they'd been dating since the sixth grad because everyone said they would be perfect together. She managed the band and held us together, then he told her he wanted kids and she totally flipped on him. Val has never been very kid friendly, so that of course, set her off and she left him not wanting to deal with having children..."he told me, I gasped a little and bit my bottom lip. Id love to have kids someday, its always been something that id wanted.

"Wow, that's insane to just throw away so many years of love..."I whispered and Brian chuckled.

"I think so too..."he said nodding.

"Is there a chance they'd get back together?"I asked him and he gave me a knowing smirk making a blush appear on my face rather quickly. I turned to look at the wall after that.

"I don't think so, but weirder things have happened."he told me softly, I was shocked to feel his hand touch mine making me jump.

"Uh - uh like what?"I stammered as my cheeks began to feel hot with the blood that rushed to myface.

"Kandy..."he whispered, instinctively I looked over at his, his eyes held an emotion I was sure about. He glanced down at my lips and I stood up not wanting what was about to happen, especially on my dead brothers bed.

"I gotta go."I said softly as I walked from the room, I heard his heavy footsteps coming after me and I knew he wasn't going to let this go.