Those Who Walk Beside Me

The way I felt when Zacky had yelled at me made me feel so un-welcome that I didn't know if I should stay here any more. The thought of leaving through made my heard break, I cared for Matt so deeply but knew that Jimmy wouldn't want us together for the simple fact that he was his best friend and I his sister. I looked out my bedroom window, I had been staying at Matt's because Jimmy's house brought back to many memories. It was too hard to stay in the house alone since Leana felt it best to stay with her parents for a while.

"Kandy..."I heard Michelle's soft voice say to me and I looked behind me. My eyes meeting hers, I let out a sigh as I looked back to the window with the pastel curtains.

"Yeah?"I said lightly as I continued to watched the clouds in the sky as they moved slowly across the vast blue sea above us.

"Whats wrong? You know its just the sadness speaking in all of the words Zacky says. He is hurting too..."She told me, I nodded then looked at her again. Turning my whole body to face her.

"I know, and I completely understand, but he is just getting on my last nerve..."I said crossing my arms over my chest in a defensive manner.

"I get that too, but that's how he is. Its how he handles depression, he pisses everyone off."She said chuckling a little bit as she sat on the end of my bed her hands laced together in her lap.

"I guess."

"Matt s worried about you too, you know this right?"She said to me and I laughed a little, shaking my head. Everyone had been trying to hook Matt and I up since pretty much day one, but I just didn't feel right without the "OK" from Jimmy and now that he is gone. I knew it would probably never happen. I continuously tell myself that Jimmy wouldn't like us together, but the more I think about it the more stupid I think I am for thinking that in the first place.

"Why would he be worried?"I asked her softly.

"You've lost a lot of weight! I can see your ribs and that's not good, Kandy..."She said to me making me sigh.

"I'll be fine, promise...I just need time to get over Jimmy's passing." I whispered softly as I looked at her, she shook her head a little.

"I know that, and we all do its been hard but your killing yourself by loosing so much weight..."She told me making me rub my face a little. I looked out the window to see Matt sitting on the porch below my room with his head in his hands. It kinda looked like he was crying.

"I have to go talk to Matt, hes..it looks like he is crying..."I whispered softly as I moved to go out the door.

"I know what would make him happy.."She smirked wriggling her eyebrows at me, making me roll my eyes. I opened the door and walked down the stairs, Zacky sighed and shook his head.

"Oh joy her majesty is here..."He said, I flipped him off and walked out the front door. I sat next to Matt on the front porch my head resting on his shoulder. I put my arms around him then kissed his cheek. "Don't cry..."I whispered softly.

"I'm just so lost without him, Kandy...Everything is falling apart right in front of us and...I don't know what to do..."He said as he looked at me his eyes red from crying, I wiped the tears from his eyes then rested my forehead on his.

"Then do what you do best...write music..."I smiled softly as I stroked his cheek with my thumb, a smile carved its way onto his face. He pressed his lips to mine in a magnificent kiss, I moved to pull away but his hand on the back of my neck stopped me from moving away. I finally melted into the kiss, he pulled away for air then moved back in his lips attaching to mine.

"About fucking time!" I heard Jimmy's voice say, and I think he heard it too because he jumped back and looked around confused for a moment. I laughed a weakly and rubbed my face, "Fuck, I can't believe I didn't notice it... All this time, those dreams hes been telling me its okay..."

"What do you mean?"Matt asked me as he pushed some hair out of my face.

"I've been having dreams about Jimmy since he passed away, he would say small things, or show me where stuff in his room was like the folder and Cd.."I told him as I spoke softly not wanting to speak to loudly, I thought I might cry if I did. He laughed a little and kissed me again his hands on either side of my face as he deepened the kiss.

"WHOOP!" I heard someone yell excitedly, I turned to see Johnny grinning like an idiot.

"Fuck hell! Took you two long enough, the sexual tension was nearly choking me it was so thick."He said sighing a little then going inside making us laugh a little.

"I care about you a lot Kandy..."Matt said to me making my heart thud in my chest crazily.

"I care about you too, Matt..."I whispered, he grazed his lips over mine making me scoot closer to close the gap between our lips. This is what I'd been wanting for so long but was too scared to do anything about it...