Status: Oneshot//Finished
Dark Dreams and Strange Voices
.001
Dreams of bloody figures and snakes engulfed me. My dreams were full of horrifying figures that made a normal person go insane, key word normal person. To the left of me a huge dragon opened its mouth and spat a pale green liquid at me. The liquid hit me with a sticky splat in the chest. There was no immediate reaction until a searing pain came from the hit, I clutched the spot where I had gotten hit and fell to my knees in agony as the pain became unbearable. My knees hit the ground with a dull thud and as I opened my mouth to scream, millions of spiders crawled out, suffocating me.
“My dreams woke me up; they have a tendency to do that.” I explain to you. You sit on your chair with your notebook open, you look at me and open your mouth to say something but no words escape.
“Your dreams are always like this?” You ask, the words finally managing to find an escape, I nod my head, confirming it. You sit motionless for a moment, lost in thought. Kill her, do it. The voice inside my head speaks up as you jot something down in your notepad; I ignore it, like I always do. I first came to you because I was having issues from moving, now it’s quite clear that I have plenty more issues than that. Do it, you know you want to. It speaks up again; I give my head a shake and then focus on more important things, like your questions.
“Your dreams, they’re always the same?” You ask me timidly, I grow tired of these questions, they mean the same thing you just phrase them differently, hoping to catch me off guard. To fool me into confessing something. I nod my head again as I turn to you look out the window, it’s barren outside and for March it doesn’t seem to be any better. Snow drifts are piled everywhere and the tree limbs are about to snap from the amount of snow they’re holding. The clouds are full of grey tones and they look as though they are about to burst, great, I’ll have to walk home in that.
“Do you ever recognize any of the figures in your dreams? Friends, family, schoolmates?” You ask me another question; you seem almost desperate now, like you want me out of your office. I think about it for a minute. You’re going to pretend you can’t hear me aren’t you? You’re going to ignore me like you always do, you can’t hold me off forever you know, sooner or later I’ll win.
“No,” I answer, ignoring the warnings, pushing them to the back of my mind. Instead I answer your question, I’m lying and I hope you don’t notice. You pause for a moment and the glimmer of hope that was in your eyes fades.
“I see.” You say shortly and glance almost hopefully at the clock. I sneak a peek at the clock, I’m almost as hopeful as you are, my heart beats faster when I see the clock 4:28 we have two minutes left so you’re forced to give up you relentless attack. “Well it looks like we’re out of time.” You stand up, I follow your lead, I watch victoriously as you shut your notebook and cap your pen. “You’re free to go, just stay away from pointy objects.” You make a weak attempt to joke with me, knowing that I’m not one of your cutters. I don’t reply to tell you how wrong you are, instead I silently collect my books and then leave, shutting the door behind me, already dreading tomorrow.
**
I was at home, sitting alone in my room soaking wet. Sure enough those clouds had decided to burst and lucky me had to walk home in it, listening to the voice inside my head the entire way. I snuck a peek at my wrists; the scars peeked through the fabric. I had stopped, not too long ago, but long enough that the cuts were just starting to heal, long enough that I was dying to do it again, just once, as a send off, as a goodbye type thing. You know you want to do it again, do it, just give in; you can’t fend me off forever. The voice in my head called to me.
Downstairs I could hear my mom screaming followed by my dad yelling and then glass shattering. I ignored the noise and began to pick up my clothes which were strewn across the floor.
“Don’t touch me!” I heard my mother scream, followed by a crunching sound. I thought about what you had said, about staying away from pointy objects. You didn’t know how much you had sorely tempted me, that I was still trying to get over my little problem. It wasn’t just on my wrists either; it was on my legs. I had scars everywhere, and trust me if you saw any of them I’d be going back to see you for the next fifty years! More screams echoed up to me, more objects breaking and more swearing. Part of me wondered what was going on downstairs but I knew from my past experiences of venturing downstairs I knew it was better not to go. I lifted up a pair of jeans and a heavy metallic object fell, making a large thunk as it hit the thin carpeted floor. Cut just do it, just once. The little voice in my head spoke up again. For fuck’s sake that thing was annoying, I gritted my teeth as I looked at the metallic case that held my razor blade that was the one thing I never needed to see, ever again.
“Get away from me!” I heard my mother scream as I picked up the case and coaxed the blade out. That’s right, good job. The voice in my head told me soothingly. More screams reached my ears, I closed my eyes and pressed the blade against my skin for a moment before I removed it, that’s it. The cut became a red line and tiny beads welled, I let out a sigh, the voice was finally satisfied.
“My dreams woke me up; they have a tendency to do that.” I explain to you. You sit on your chair with your notebook open, you look at me and open your mouth to say something but no words escape.
“Your dreams are always like this?” You ask, the words finally managing to find an escape, I nod my head, confirming it. You sit motionless for a moment, lost in thought. Kill her, do it. The voice inside my head speaks up as you jot something down in your notepad; I ignore it, like I always do. I first came to you because I was having issues from moving, now it’s quite clear that I have plenty more issues than that. Do it, you know you want to. It speaks up again; I give my head a shake and then focus on more important things, like your questions.
“Your dreams, they’re always the same?” You ask me timidly, I grow tired of these questions, they mean the same thing you just phrase them differently, hoping to catch me off guard. To fool me into confessing something. I nod my head again as I turn to you look out the window, it’s barren outside and for March it doesn’t seem to be any better. Snow drifts are piled everywhere and the tree limbs are about to snap from the amount of snow they’re holding. The clouds are full of grey tones and they look as though they are about to burst, great, I’ll have to walk home in that.
“Do you ever recognize any of the figures in your dreams? Friends, family, schoolmates?” You ask me another question; you seem almost desperate now, like you want me out of your office. I think about it for a minute. You’re going to pretend you can’t hear me aren’t you? You’re going to ignore me like you always do, you can’t hold me off forever you know, sooner or later I’ll win.
“No,” I answer, ignoring the warnings, pushing them to the back of my mind. Instead I answer your question, I’m lying and I hope you don’t notice. You pause for a moment and the glimmer of hope that was in your eyes fades.
“I see.” You say shortly and glance almost hopefully at the clock. I sneak a peek at the clock, I’m almost as hopeful as you are, my heart beats faster when I see the clock 4:28 we have two minutes left so you’re forced to give up you relentless attack. “Well it looks like we’re out of time.” You stand up, I follow your lead, I watch victoriously as you shut your notebook and cap your pen. “You’re free to go, just stay away from pointy objects.” You make a weak attempt to joke with me, knowing that I’m not one of your cutters. I don’t reply to tell you how wrong you are, instead I silently collect my books and then leave, shutting the door behind me, already dreading tomorrow.
**
I was at home, sitting alone in my room soaking wet. Sure enough those clouds had decided to burst and lucky me had to walk home in it, listening to the voice inside my head the entire way. I snuck a peek at my wrists; the scars peeked through the fabric. I had stopped, not too long ago, but long enough that the cuts were just starting to heal, long enough that I was dying to do it again, just once, as a send off, as a goodbye type thing. You know you want to do it again, do it, just give in; you can’t fend me off forever. The voice in my head called to me.
Downstairs I could hear my mom screaming followed by my dad yelling and then glass shattering. I ignored the noise and began to pick up my clothes which were strewn across the floor.
“Don’t touch me!” I heard my mother scream, followed by a crunching sound. I thought about what you had said, about staying away from pointy objects. You didn’t know how much you had sorely tempted me, that I was still trying to get over my little problem. It wasn’t just on my wrists either; it was on my legs. I had scars everywhere, and trust me if you saw any of them I’d be going back to see you for the next fifty years! More screams echoed up to me, more objects breaking and more swearing. Part of me wondered what was going on downstairs but I knew from my past experiences of venturing downstairs I knew it was better not to go. I lifted up a pair of jeans and a heavy metallic object fell, making a large thunk as it hit the thin carpeted floor. Cut just do it, just once. The little voice in my head spoke up again. For fuck’s sake that thing was annoying, I gritted my teeth as I looked at the metallic case that held my razor blade that was the one thing I never needed to see, ever again.
“Get away from me!” I heard my mother scream as I picked up the case and coaxed the blade out. That’s right, good job. The voice in my head told me soothingly. More screams reached my ears, I closed my eyes and pressed the blade against my skin for a moment before I removed it, that’s it. The cut became a red line and tiny beads welled, I let out a sigh, the voice was finally satisfied.
♠ ♠ ♠
Not very good.